Shotgun Groom (25 page)

Five days later, Joel came out of Sep’s bedroom after

securing the wobbly door and, once again, his attention

went to the bedroom with the locked door. He stood in the

hal way and stared at it for a minute. What could be so

terrible that April and Sep would keep it locked?

With a determined sigh, he decided it was time April came

clean with him on everything. He wasn’t a man prone to

keeping secrets, and he certainly didn’t like it when secrets

were being kept from him, especial y when they were kept

by those he loved. He strode down the hal way and down

the stairs. Knowing it was April’s routine to sit in the parlor

by the window while Nora napped, he went to that room

and, sure enough, she was in her favorite chair. On this

particular afternoon, she was knitting. Since Sep was stil

out in the barn doing some chores and Nora was asleep,

he figured it’d be a good time to approach her.

Without waiting for her to speak, he went over to her. “I want

to see what’s in that third bedroom.” When he saw the

hesitation in her eyes, he added, “Look, whatever is up

there, we can deal with it as long as we’re together.”

“It’s not that simple,” she whispered, turning her gaze to the

scarf she was knitting.

“Of course, it is. The problem is, you think if it’s painful, it

can’t be simple. There’s a big difference between simple

and difficult.”

“Why do you need to see what’s in that room?”

“That room represents a wal between us. I don’t know what

kind of marriage you want, but I refuse to let something

divide us. I realize we’ve come a long way since we met,

but don’t we owe it to ourselves and our children to get rid

of the ghosts that haunt your past?”

Her lower lip trembled, so he knelt in front of her and

covered her hands with his. “You can get through this,

sweetheart, and the reason you’l get through this is

because I’m going to stay with you. No matter what’s

happened, I’m not going anywhere. I love you.”

Not making eye contact with him, she blinked a few times

and took a shaky breath. “It’s not easy for me to go in that

room.” After a few seconds, she added, “But I’l do it.”

Relieved, he released her hands so she could put her

knitting aside and stand up. He put his arm around her

shoulders and drew her to his side. She leaned into him,

and he tightened his hold on her. While he expected this to

be rough for her, he was surprised by how scared she was.

He considered tel ing her to forget it, that they didn’t have to

deal with that part of her past, but he knew that, despite the

pain of the moment, this would be healing for her. And if he

loved her, he would al ow the wound to be exposed so they

could take care of it.

He didn’t rush her as they slowly made their way through the

hal and up the stairs. When they reached the top of the

steps, she stopped and glanced back down the staircase.

He feared she might change her mind, but she stepped

forward. Giving her shoulders an encouraging squeeze, he

went with her.

“The key is in our bedroom,” she spoke, her voice almost a

whisper.

He fol owed her into the room and watched as she lifted the

smal rug on the floor by their bed. So that’s where she put

the key. Of al the places he searched, it never once

occurred to him to look there. “Why did you put the key

under that rug?”

Retrieving the key, she stood and wiped one of her hands

on the skirt of her dress. “I didn’t want Harvey to find it. And

after his death, I just left it there.”

“Did Harvey try to break the door down to get in?” he softly

asked.

“No. If he did that, I’d be able to see what he was doing in

there, and he didn’t want that. He thought hearing it was

punishment enough.”

Joel’s eyebrows furrowed. “Punishment for what?”

She took a deep breath and shrugged. “It was hard to know

what would set him off. He’d fly off the handle over any smal

thing.” Turning her gaze to the key, she studied it, flipping it

over twice and tracing its edges. “With the room locked,

he’d just leave the house when he was upset.”

“What did he do in that room?”

She looked up at him, tears wel ing in her eyes. “I should

have locked it sooner. The first time Harvey took Sep in

there, I should have taken the key while he was asleep and

hid it. But I didn’t, and it went on for almost a year.”

Stepping toward her, he asked, “What did he do to Sep?”

She didn’t answer. Instead, she ambled by him and headed

for the room. Knowing he wasn’t going to like what he saw,

he joined her and quietly waited as she unlocked the door.

The click as the lock gave way echoed through the hal way,

and a chil crawled up his spine. He’d heard some scary

tales when he was a child, but this was something worse,

much worse. This was real. And even as April turned the

doorknob, he wondered if the shadows of her past could

real y be healed, at least completely. Maybe these had left

scars. He kicked himself for assuming that anything

emotional y embedded into someone’s past could be

wiped away as if it never happened. Scars served as

reminders of a physical wound, and apparently, they

occurred in the emotional realm as wel .

She pushed the door open just enough so that he knew he

could enter and went to the side of the doorway. “I can’t go

in yet,” she whispered.

Nodding, he approached the door and gently opened it

further. Streaks of what had to be dried blood littered the

wal s, not in any particular order but in a random way. His

best guess was that several struggles took place in the

room, and the faint tracings of handprints showed him that

the person who bled couldn’t be an adult.

Leather belts that had snapped apart, a whip that was

supposed to be used on horses, and bloody ropes were

scattered on the floor. Old cigarette butts and an empty

bottle of whiskey were on a table in the only corner of the

room that had clean wal s. Two chairs were in the room.

One was in the center of the room and had scratches and

nicks covering it with traces of blood here and there. The

other was by the table and looked wel -preserved.

After his shock began to wear off, Joel turned to the

doorway where April had her arms wrapped protectively

around herself. “Harvey took Sep in here?” he asked her.

She didn’t have to say it. The answer was on her pale face.

He went over to her and held her, noting the way she

trembled and buried her face in his shirt. Her tears seeped

through the cotton material and dampened his shoulder.

“It’s over, April,” he whispered, caressing her hair and

tightening his hold on her. “Harvey’s not coming back. No

one’s taking Sep in here ever again to hurt him.”

“I can stil hear him pounding on the wal s and screaming for

Harvey to stop,” she said, stil sobbing into his shirt.

“How often did it happen?”

“Five times. The other times when he tried, Sep was able to

run and hide until Harvey calmed down.”

“Why did he bring Sep in here?”

“Mostly because he didn’t like Sep, but twice because Sep

stopped him from hurting me or Nora.”

“Nora?”

“One morning, she was crying and wouldn’t stop, no matter

what I did to comfort her. Harvey had a hangover and said

her screaming made it worse. He tried to take her from

me.”

“And Sep stopped him?”

She nodded.

“And when did Harvey try to hurt you?” he softly asked.

“One time he threw a bowl at me.”

“I see,” he whispered, making sense of why Sep had a

tendency to be forceful to get his way. He’d learned that

adults paid attention to brute force—or a gun—and

considering his age, the gun worked to his advantage.

“Now I understand Sep better.” With some guidance, Joel

knew the boy could learn how to properly handle his anger.

In time, he would, and as Joel taught him to control his

emotions so he didn’t punch the next man who upset him,

he’d keep in mind that he needed to be patient.

“Can I leave now?” April asked, interrupting Joel’s thoughts.

“Yes.” He slipped an arm around her shoulders and led her

out of the room and shut the door behind him, but he didn’t

lock it. “We’re going to make that Nora’s room. She can’t

stay in our room forever, and a boy Sep’s age is too old to

share a room with her. But before we do, we’l destroy that

room and make it into a new one.”

Wiping tears from her eyes, she asked, “How are we going

to do that?”

“I’m not sure yet, but when I know, I’l let you and Sep know.”

Not looking ful y convinced, she nodded as he steered her

into their bedroom.

He brought her to the crib and pul ed aside the blanket

where Nora was stil sleeping. She wouldn’t be asleep

much longer, but with what little time they had left to

themselves, he decided to take advantage of it. “Lie down,

sweetheart.”

“Joel, I’m too upset to be with you that way right now,” she

whispered. “Please don’t be mad at me.”

Noting the worry in her eyes, he said, “I just want to hold you

until Nora wakes up. Even I’m not in the mood after seeing

that room and hearing everything that happened to you and

Sep.”

The whole thing made him sick to his stomach. Maybe he

needed to hold her more than she needed to be held, but

he supposed it didn’t matter as long as they were together.

He took her to the bed and settled next to her. She

snuggled against him and he wrapped his arms protectively

around her.

“April, you do know I’d never insist you be intimate with me

if you aren’t up to it, don’t you?”

She shrugged, and in so doing, she answered his question.

She didn’t know it, probably because she had no choice

with Harvey.

With a sigh, he said, “I’l never force myself on you. Sharing

a bed with me should be something you enjoy.”

“Thank you.”

Taking a deep breath and then slowly exhaling, he relaxed

and was glad when he felt her relax, too.

***

The mood was somber between Joel and April, and Sep

must have picked up on it since he remained quiet during

supper. It wasn’t a tense kind of silence they experienced

when Joel was first there, which was an improvement in

itself. But Joel stil didn’t like it. He had to remind himself

that it was going to take time before they worked through

the demons lurking in April and Sep’s past, and he wasn’t

sure which one needed the most time to heal. Being a

woman, April was softer and more sensitive to everything,

but given Sep’s age and tendency to act impulsively, he

had a long road to travel as wel .

Toward the end of the meal, Joel looked over at Nora who,

upon realizing he was watching her, giggled and threw her

spoon on the floor. A chuckle rose up in his throat and he

decided to oblige the little girl and picked up the spoon.

She reached for it, but he said, “Pa.”

April and Sep turned their gazes in his direction.

Joel held the spoon close to Nora but didn’t let her grab it.

“Say ‘pa’.” April’s lips turned upward into a smile, and he

winked at her before returning his attention to Nora. “Pa.”

Nora tested it out a couple of times and then final y said it.

“Good girl,” he said and handed her the spoon, not

surprised when she flung it back to the ground. “I see we

got to work on your manners, young lady.” Because it

seemed to amuse April and Sep, he held the spoon toward

Nora and asked, “Who am I?”

“Pa.”

“Whose pa?”

She wrinkled her brow.

“I’m your pa.”

She nodded and held her hand out. “Pa.”

“Close enough.” He ruffled her hair and stood up to throw

the spoon in the sink. “I know that was mean of me to act

like I was going to give you that spoon when I didn’t intend

to do it. But, I thought you might like this instead.” Grabbing

a cookie from the cookie jar, he gave one to Nora who

eagerly took it.

“Oh great,” April said with a grin. “Now she’s going to

expect a cookie at supper.”

He put the jar back on the shelf and went over to the

highchair so he could tel Nora, “Now, don’t go thinking

that’s going to happen al the time. It was a one-time thing.

You got it?”

Half her cookie already gone, she pointed to him. “Pa.”