Skin Deep (16 page)

The doorbell rang, interrupting his pity-party. He groaned. “Would you mind telling whoever that is to get lost on your way out?”

“Sure, but where’s your housekeeper? Did she quit ‘cause you were being such a beast?”

He chuckled. “No, I gave her the day off. I just wanted to be alone for a while.” He carried the folded table into the foyer for her as he turned the corner, preparing to hit the shower.

“Uh, Ryan, does Alana have long, straight blonde hair and a killer body?” Jen asked, peering through the stained glass window beside the entrance doors.

“Yeah, why?” he asked, his heart kicking into overdrive
. Please, God, let it be her.

Without responding, Jen opened the door and smiled sweetly at Ryan’s guest. Extending her hand, she said, “Hi, I’m Jen. Nice to meet you.”

Looking confused, Alana looked over Jen’s shoulder and saw Ryan standing behind her, wearing only a towel.

Shit. “Uh, hi,” he said, feeling completely inept. He placed a hand on Jen’s shoulder then quickly removed it when Alana frowned at him.

“I think this was a bad idea. Sorry to have bothered you,” she said, turning to walk back down the natural stone stairs.

“No, God, no. Don’t go, please,” he said, reaching out to grab her wrist. Hooking a thumb over her shoulder, he said, “Jen is my massage therapist and the wife of one of my best friends. She’s here to give me a rub…” He berated himself when he realized how that sounded. “What I mean is…”

Jen laughed, drawing his attention. “I think what he was trying to say is that we’re just good friends, and I’m here today in a professional capacity.” She picked up the table.

Ryan reached out to take it from her, but she smirked, shaking her head. “Uh, that’s okay, I’ve got it. You might give your neighbors a show if you lost that towel.” Jen winked at Alana. “Not that the female ones would mind.”

Ryan swore, dipping his head when he felt the color rising in his cheeks. “Would you just get the hell out of here?” he muttered.

“Hey, I almost forgot,” Jen said, slinging her bag of supplies over her shoulder. “Steve wanted me to invite you over for a barbecue tomorrow night. He said he wanted to have a few beers and watch the game.”

“Tell him thanks for the invite,” Ryan said, unable to focus on anything other than the fact that Alana stood a few feet away and he had no idea why she was here. “I’ll call and let him know.”

Alana reached out to take the bag hanging over Jen’s shoulder. “Let me help you with that.”

Jen smiled at her, using both hands to grip the table. “Thanks, but I could’ve made two trips.”

“No problem,” Alana said. “I don’t mind at all.”

Ryan watched the ladies walk to Jen’s work van, looking at though they’d known each other for years instead of just a few minutes. Alana walked her around to the driver’s side, and they spent a few more minutes chatting before Jen finally drove off with a honk of her horn and a wave out the open window.

“I like her,” Alana said, climbing the stairs. “She seems really sweet.”

“She is, but I don’t want to talk about her,” Ryan said, feeling the tension coiling in his gut. “I want to talk about you. Why don’t you tell me what you’re doing here?” He didn’t mean to sound so abrupt, but he’d waited weeks to hear from her. He lost so much sleep thinking about her, he was lucky he could still perform surgery.

Looking down at her sandaled feet, she asked, “Can I come in?”

He stepped back without a word and held the door open wider, ushering her inside. He closed it quietly, then turned to face her, crossing his arms. “Okay, I’m still waiting. Why are you here?”

She started pacing the spacious foyer, her flip-flops tapping out a staccato on the patterned limestone floor. “I’m sorry,” she said, pausing long enough to look at him. “I was wrong to jump to conclusions about you and your motives for wanting to buy the dealership.”    

He felt the towel slipping and reached down to tighten it as her eyes tracked his movements. He groaned when her tongue darted out to lick her glossy lips. “Why wouldn’t you at least give me a chance to explain?”

She moved to the staircase, sitting on the bottom step as she looked up at him. “I didn’t realize how much my past impacted my present and my future,” she said quietly.

His heart told him to go to her, to comfort her, but his pride kept him rooted firmly in place. He wasn’t willing to put himself out there again until he knew that she was finally willing to meet him half-way. “Go on, I’m listening.”

Raking her hands through her hair, she massaged her scalp. “What happened with Todd affected my ability to have a normal relationship. I couldn’t trust myself to make sound decisions, so how could I trust anyone else, right?”

Shrugging, he said, “I guess, but I still don’t see what any of this has to do with me. I’m going to ask you one more time, why did you come here today, Alana?” He was tired of beating around the bush, tired of guessing and playing games. She had worn him straight down to the bone. He couldn’t take much more.

“When I got back home, I went to see a therapist. It’s only been a few weeks, but I’ve seen her six times. She’s really helped me to put my relationship with Todd into perspective so I can move on with my life.”

He reached behind him and gripped the doorknob. He didn’t know what he expected to hear, what he was hoping she might say, but he was bracing himself for the worst. He couldn’t afford to get his hopes up only to be let down again. “I’m happy to hear that you’re working through your problems. I wish you the best.” He bit his tongue as soon as the words came out; they sounded so final, as though he’d already let her go.

She looked at him a long time before rising. “Right, okay. Well, I guess I said what I came here to say.” She claimed his hand as she walked past. “Thank you for what you did to help my family. I’ll never forget it.” She let his hand fall as she reached for the door handle.

That’s it? She’d just come here to torture him some more, to tell him that she was sorry and to thank him? This was her way of saying good-bye? “Damn you,” he whispered, flattening his palm against the door so she couldn’t open it. “Why are you doing this to me? Don’t you know you’re killing me here?”

“What are you talking about?” she asked, looking up at him. Her eyes settled on his lips and her body swayed toward him. “I thought you wanted me to leave.”

“Are you crazy?” he asked, gripping her waist and pulling her against him. “Why would I want you to leave?”

She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I thought maybe you’d moved on, and that’s why you were so cold, so distant.” A tear slipped down her cheek, falling to the ground at their feet. “I wouldn’t blame you if you had. I was horrible to you in Aruba. I’m so sorry.”

He cupped her cheek in his palm. “It’s okay, don’t cry, baby.”

“It’s not okay,” she said, pressing her hands into his bare chest. “I held you responsible for someone else’s sins all this time and that wasn’t right. You were wonderful to me, and you didn’t deserve to be treated that way.” She looked up at him, her bottom lip trembling. “I’m still not sure I deserve you, but I do want you, Ryan, so much.”

Feeling like all of his problems just melted away, he crushed her to his chest, burying his hands in her hair. “Look at me,” he said, tipping her face up to his. “Whatever we need to do to make this work, we’re going to do it. Quitting on this relationship is not an option, got it? I need you. God,” he whispered, touching his lips to hers. “It scares the hell out of me how much I need you.”

Framing his face with her hands, she smiled, “I feel the same way. I love you.”

The depth of emotion he felt for this woman couldn’t be described by just those three little words. “I want to show you something,” he said, taking her hand to lead her down the hall. She laughed, and he realized he didn’t want to live another day without hearing that sound, in his home or his heart. 

“But your bedroom’s upstairs,” she said, wrapping her arm around his waist.

“Believe me, I can’t wait to take you to bed, but I have to show you something first.” He took a deep breath, trying to brace himself for her reaction. He would either send her running again or earn her eternal devotion with this decision. He positioned his body behind her and opened the door. “I hope you like it, sweetheart.”

Her hands flew to her mouth as she took in the professionally decorated studio space, complete with an antique desk like the one she had described to him.

“I didn’t know if you would ever come back to me,” he said when she turned into his chest, crying. “But I knew that if you did, I wanted to give you something to show you how much you mean to me. I want you to know how much I admire your talent…”

She halted his words with a kiss that stole his breath. “No one has ever done anything like this for me before. It’s incredible, amazing. Thank you,” she whispered, laughing as she brushed away the tears.

“I’m hoping this is a space that will inspire you to create. I want you to follow your bliss, baby. I want to be right there by your side when you make all of your dreams come true.”

“Not my dreams, Ryan.
Our
dreams.”

To learn more about Cher Carson, visit her website @
www.chercarsonbooks.com

To share your opinions about this book, email the author at
[email protected]

Coming Soon

Things are heating up with the new Brant County Heroes Novella Series…

Book One – Backdraft

Firefighter, Dave Briar, is devastated when he finds his high school sweetheart, Maya, in bed with his best friend, Craig. He is able to forgive his friend when he beats the drug addiction that led to their betrayal, but even after a decade, he can’t seem to forgive or forget the girl who broke his heart.

Maya lived with the guilt of betraying Dave for ten years, but when Craig contacts her to come clean about what happened that night, she learns that life may be giving her a second chance with her first love. Determined to seize the opportunity, Maya decides to ‘bid’ on Dave at a bachelor auction. In full costume and mask, he has no idea it’s her until he winds up in her bed, bound and blindfolded. How will he react when she reveals the truth?