Standup Guy (17 page)

Herbie Fisher sat in his office, cradled by his Eames lounge chair, reading a letter for his signature. His secretary buzzed. “Yes?”

“Stone Barrington for you.”

He pressed the
SPEAKER
button. “Stone?”

“How are you, Herb?”

He had trained Stone not to call him Herbie anymore. “I’m just great, thanks. You?”

“So-so.”

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“I just got off with a friend who may be in trouble.”

“Anybody I know?”

“Her name is Henrietta Cromwell, calls herself Hank.”

“Does she look like a Hank?”

“Not a bit.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

“I’d appreciate it if you’d see her, talk to her. If you can help, please do.”

“What’s her number?” Herbie saw the light on his second line flashing. “She may be calling now. Hang on.” He buzzed his secretary. “If someone called Hank Cromwell calls, get her in here.” He went back to line one. “Okay, give me some background.”

Stone started with his meeting Hank at Clarke’s, then took him, step by step, through everything that had happened.

“All right,” Herbie said, “I think I get the picture. Do you have an opinion about this?”

“I’d rather let you form your own after you see her.”

“There is the possibility, as I see it, that after you left the lake cottage with Hank, Buono could have returned to the lake and been murdered by somebody else—either someone who came with him or someone who knew where he was and came after him.”

“I think that’s her way out of this.”

“Is she a truthful person?”

“I’ve caught her in only one lie, about the protective order. Everything else could be true, or she could be lying about all of it.”

“Well, you’ve certainly made my day more interesting. Maybe we’ll talk again after I’ve seen her.”

“I think you’ll make better decisions if I don’t contribute to them.”

“As you wish. See you.”

They both hung up.

His secretary was standing in the door. He signed the letter and handed it to her.

“
Ms.
Hank Cromwell will be here in a few minutes,” she said.

“When she arrives, show her straight in.”

• • •

Once again, Herbie admired Stone’s taste in women. He took Hank to the other side of the room, sat her on his sofa, and took a chair opposite.

“Stone thinks I may be in trouble,” she said.

“I heard. Do
you
think you’re in trouble?”

“If there’s a God in heaven, I’m not.”

“That could go either way.”

“Do you want to ask me if I’m a murderer?”

“No, I don’t. If I do that, and you answer in the affirmative, then I can’t put you on the stand at trial without becoming your accomplice after the fact. It’s my hope that your version of the facts is sufficient to convince me that you’re entirely innocent.”

“Entirely innocent,” she said flatly, as if she were considering her condition. “Is anyone ever entirely innocent?”

“Certainly. But some people who are innocent of a crime still feel guilt about their behavior, and whether they’ve somehow contributed to the event.”

“In my case, which event?”

“Let’s start with the kidnapping.”

She repeated what she had told Stone.

“If that’s a true story, or alternatively, if it’s a story that cannot be proven to be untrue, then I don’t think you are complicit in your own kidnapping.”

“Thank you.”

“Now tell me about your rescue.”

“Onofrio left the cabin to go grocery shopping.”

“Hold it right there. Let’s examine that. Why would a kidnapper leave his victim alone to go to the grocery store?”

“You’ve heard of the Stockholm syndrome, when a kidnapped person begins to feel sympathy for her kidnapper?”

“Of course.”

“This is sort of the opposite of that. I, ah, treated him in such a way that he began to trust me.”

“By having sex with him?”

“That was part of it. I just didn’t behave like a victim. I behaved the way I did when I was seeing him.”

“How long did you see him?”

“About seven months.”

“And the relationship was like what?”

“Pleasant, amusing—he did have a sense of humor—and attractively sexual.”

“And you tried to make it all those things again?”

“Yes, I did, and it worked. Also, besides trusting me, he knew that I had no idea where I was, not even what state I was in, having arrived there in the trunk of a car. He knew that I’m a city person, unaccustomed to the woods, and he knew that I’m a little afraid of the dark.”

“A little?”

“All right, more than a little. Enough that I was well anchored in the cottage. He knew I wouldn’t try to walk out of there at night.”

“So, what is your theory of what happened after you left the cottage with Stone?”

“Well, obviously Onofrio returned to the cabin and someone
else killed him. I certainly didn’t, and somehow I don’t think he committed suicide.”

Herbie laughed. “Probably not. Do you have a theory of who killed him?”

“He had associates, he ran a chop shop, which is a criminal enterprise, is it not?”

“It is.”

“Then his associates were criminals. I should think he knew a number of people who would kill him for several million dollars. I think that Onofrio would have killed me for several million dollars, but I don’t think he intended to, or that he thought he had to to get the money. Stone had already said that he would bring the money, but that he would have to see me alive before he’d hand it over.”

“Did you ever meet any of Onofrio’s associates?”

“One man, once. Onofrio picked me up at my apartment for dinner, and we drove to an Italian restaurant in Red Hook, a little mom-and-pop place. I can’t remember what it was called, except that it was the possessive of a male Italian’s first name—Gino’s, for instance, but not actually. But it was a very common Italian name.”

“And did he meet someone there?”

“We had just sat down and ordered wine when a man in a sharp suit came into the place, walked over to our table, and handed Onofrio a plain envelope, rather thick, as if it contained money. He introduced the man as Marty, no last name. The two talked for a minute in a kind of code, not mentioning names or places. The effect was that someone who owed him money had paid him. Onofrio put the envelope into his inside suit pocket, and the man left. He didn’t refer to him again.”

“Did you have any other impressions of the man?”

“He was rather handsome, seemed to be Italian, and Onofrio seemed to respect and trust him, as if he were a valued associate.”

“Yes,” Herbie said, “if you’ve got a few million bucks in cash lying around, you’ve gotta watch out for those valued associates.”

“What should I do?”

“Nothing,” Herbie said. “Let’s let the police make the next move. Do you know how to make a conference call?”

“You enter some sort of code, don’t you?”

Herbie explained the process. “If you get a call from the police, either Connecticut or New York, ask them to hold and call me. If they come to your home or your place of work, or if they take you or ask you to come to a police station, call me and I’ll meet you there. Tell them you don’t want to answer questions until your attorney arrives, and don’t let them charm or threaten or trick you into talking to them before I arrive or am on the phone.”

“All right.”

“If they don’t contact you, then you’re probably in the clear. Go live your life. But I think you’ll hear from them, if only because they’ll want more information.”

“Should I tell them about Marty?”

“After I’m on the phone or present. Only then. I’ll introduce the subject.”

“All right.”

Herbie walked her to the elevator, shook her hand, then returned to his office and called Stone.

“What did you think?” Stone asked.

“I was impressed with her. She told me something she hasn’t told you.”

“What was that?”

“I tell you this as a collaborator in representing her, so as to avoid client-attorney confidentiality.”

“Of course.”

“She was out to dinner one evening when an associate of Buono’s, who he introduced as ‘Marty,’ brought him an envelope that seemed to hold a lot of money. She said that she thought that Buono respected and liked him and regarded him as a trusted associate. I think that Marty sounds good for the killing, if he knew that Buono was coming into millions in cash. They may even have been collaborating, and Marty wanted it all. I think that Hank would have been killed, too, if you hadn’t just taken her out of the cottage.”

“Okay, I’ll see what I can learn about that. What do you think Hank’s future looks like?”

“I think she’ll get through this without getting arrested and charged—unless there’s something she hasn’t told me.”

“Well, there is that, isn’t there?”

“All too often,” Herbie replied.

Stone called John Fratelli on his throwaway cell phone.

“Yes?”

“It’s Stone Barrington.”

“What can I do for you?”

“Bats Buono is dead.”

“Hey, that’s good news! Who offed him?”

“Somebody arrived at the lake cottage sometime after I left with the girl. He was stabbed repeatedly, and his head was cut off with an ax. His car was rolled into the lake.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. If I was his murderer, I’d put the body in the car before I rolled it into the lake.”

“That’s a very good point.”

“Was Bats driving one of his stolen cars?”

“Very possibly.”

“Then here’s how it might have gone down: Bats is partners with some guy in the kidnapping for ransom. He calls the guy and tells him you’re bringing the money, to get up to the cabin.
The guy arrives and finds Bats, but no money and no girl. He takes this badly, then one of two things happens: either he goes into a rage and stabs Bats and cuts off his head to make ID harder, or more likely, he believes that Bats has gotten paid and released the girl, so he puts a gun to Bats’s head and tells him to cough up. Bats swears he didn’t get paid, and the guy puts one in his head, then he cuts the head off so the cops can’t do a ballistics match on the bullet. Maybe it’s his favorite piece.”

“Okay, I’ll buy that. There’s a suspect. Bats had a close associate named Marty. Ring a bell?”

“I don’t know any of his associates, but tell you what: I’ll call Bats’s old man, Gino, and ask about Marty, see what I can get from him. Call you back?”

“Sure.” They both hung up.

• • •

Fratelli called Gino Buono.

“Yeah?”

“Gino, it’s Johnny Fratelli.”

“Did you kill him, Johnny?”

“So you heard.”

“Some cop from Connecticut called me. Did you, Johnny?”

“No, Gino, I’m in Vegas. I had nothing to do with it.”

“I didn’t think you did, but I had to ask.”

“It’s okay. I’ve heard something, though, might be useful.”

“Tell me.”

“Did Onofrio have an associate called Marty?”

“Yeah, Marty Parese. Marty was his right-hand man. They’ve been tight since they were kids.”

“I heard that Marty and Onofrio might have been in this together and were going to split the money.”

“Onofrio didn’t tell me nothing, but that makes a lot of sense.”

“You think Marty would off Onofrio for a few million in cash?”

Gino was quiet for a moment. “Maybe. Come to think of it, who
wouldn’t
off him for that much money? I can’t think of anybody
I’d
trust around that kind of money.”

“Just a thought. My condolences, Gino, for your loss.”

“Thanks, Johnny.”

Fratelli called Stone back. “I spoke to Bats’s old man, Gino.”

“And?”

“Gino says the guy is Marty Parese, and he and Bats were tight since they were kids. Gino also thinks Marty is good for the killing, since there were millions involved.”

“I’ll see that it gets looked into,” Stone said. “Thank you, John.”

“Anytime. Oh, and I’ll give you two to one that when they find Bats’s head, there’ll be a bullet in it.” They hung up.

• • •

Stone called Dino.

“Hey.”

“Are your people working the Buono murder with Dan Sparks?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve got a suspect for you.”

“I accept free gifts.”

“I didn’t say it was free, it’s going to cost you a couple of dinners.”

“Okay, one dinner—don’t get greedy.”

“There’s a guy named Marty Parese, who was Buono’s best friend since childhood.”

“So, your theory is that the best friend did it? Why not the butler?”

“It’s not my theory, it’s Gino Buono’s theory—Bats’s father.”

“Yeah? Are you and Gino best buddies these days?”

“I didn’t say he told
me
.”

“So this is what you lawyers call hearsay?”

“In case you didn’t know, Dino, hearsay works when you’re investigating a murder, just not in a courtroom.”

“You’re just trying to get Hank out of this, aren’t you?”

“I don’t represent Hank, Herb Fisher does.”

“I wonder how that happened.”

“I recommended him, he’s good.”

“Yeah, he is, I guess.”

“Somebody I know thinks that Bats and Marty were in the kidnapping together, and that when I agreed to give Bats the money, Marty came running, but when he got to the cottage both Hank and the money were gone. After that, there was a disagreement.”

“I can imagine,” Dino said.

“There’s a theory about Bats’s head, too.”

“I can’t wait to hear it.”

“Marty put one into Bats’s head, then remembered he’d used his favorite gun, so he took off the head because he didn’t want anybody to find the bullet.”

“Great. That explains all the knife wounds in Bats’s back.”

“Marty didn’t want it to look like a shooting.”

“Anything else?”

“That’s about it.”

“Okay, it’s good for a dinner, but it’s not
that
good, so you’d better order something cheap.”

“When have you known me to order something cheap?”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

They both hung up.

Dino called the lead detective on the Buono case.

“Yeah, Chief?”

“You ever heard of a Marty Parese?”

“Yeah, he and Buono were partners in the chop shop. Allegedly.”

“There’s a theory—this is about fourth-hand by now—that Parese and Buono were partners in the kidnapping, too, and when Parese got to the lake cottage and found Buono there but without the money or the girl, he put one in his head and cut off the head so we couldn’t make a ballistics match. What do you think?”

“It does make a weird kind of sense,” the detective said. “I mean, the medical examiner says the knife wounds in Buono’s back were postmortem. We’ll pick up Parese and have a chat with him.”

“Hey, that’s a good idea,” Dino said. “And Dan Sparks might like to have somebody there when you question him.”

“Sure, Chief.”

“Have a good time.” Dino hung up.