Step-Lover (17 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Blade and I must fall asleep because a soft hand on my face soon awakens me. I blink a few times and focus to see my mom standing beside the bed. She’s looking at me, but her eyes are flicking to Blade and then back again. Panic grips me and I want to leap up and start throwing out excuses, but I can’t. I would be a lie, and I’m tired of lying. Instead, I carefully shuffle out of Blade’s arms and slide off the bed.

He doesn’t move. He must be exhausted.

Mom and I go and sit on the chairs nearby and she leans in close so we can whisper. “Aria, what is going on? Why is Blade in your bed?”

I take a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

“I love him.”

She blinks and her entire body jerks. “W-w-what?”

“I love him, Momma. I have for two years now. It was never meant to happen like this. I met him before you and Jack and then when I found out, I tried to stay away . . .”

She’s silent. Oh God. She hates me. I start rambling.

“I tried to stop it, I swear I did. I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want to bring you shame. I could imagine nothing worse than knowing I took away the only happiness you’ve had since Dad and Milly died. I didn’t want to cause any heartache, so I really did try but . . . I love him. I don’t want to love him, but I do.”

She still says nothing.

“Please don’t hate me, because I couldn’t take it if you hated me.”

Her hand flies up and I close my eyes, thinking she’s going to slap me, but instead she cups my cheeks in her hands. “Sweetheart, how could you ever think that I’d ever hate you?”

I start crying. Damn crying.

“Look at me,” she says gently.

I look at her, but she’s blurred through my tears.

“You’re not doing anything wrong.”

“B-b-b-but he’s my step-brother and you’re married to Jack. It’s wrong.”

“Honey,” she says softly, “it’s not.”

“People will frown upon it and say horrible things. They’ll make your life hard and then you and Jack might never last. What we are doing might not be technically wrong but it can cause so many things to go wrong and I don’t want that. I want you to be happy.”

“And you don’t think you deserve that, too?”

“Mom,” I sob.

“Honey, look at me.”

I do.

“I’m not angry at you. I’m disappointed you hid it from me but I’m not angry. How can I choose who you love? That isn’t my place. Love finds us for reasons unknown and when it finds us, it latches on. If Blade is the love that found you, then it must be for a reason.”

“It can go so bad,” I whisper. “When people find out . . .”

“Who cares what people think? Honestly? Do you think I care what people say about Jack and I? No, of course not, because he saved me from a dark place, and I’ll never let anyone tell me that I’m wrong for loving him.”

Oh God. She loves him. My heart melts.

“But . . . what if something goes wrong between Blade and I? That’ll cause problems. What if we want to get married and have kids? It’ll be awful. It’ll never work.”

She laughs softly and I stare at her, horrified. “Life is a whole lot of what ifs honey, but I’ve learned that things can happen when you least expect them and those things can turn your life around in one day, one hour, or one damned second. What ifs mean nothing to me. Something could happen tomorrow, or it could last the rest of your life. Live for the moment and live for your heart, not for everyone else’s.”

My mother is amazing.

“It’ll be weird,” I whisper.

“Why?” she says. “What’s so weird about it?”

“You’re married to his dad and . . .”

“And?”

What real excuse do I have to give her? The truth is, there’s nothing awful about what we’re doing. There is no relation, we’re not playing on the incest cards—we’re four people who met, and it happened to be the way it was. Mom loves Jack, I love Blade, but really . . . there’s no wrong with what we’re doing.

“What about if we have kids? It’ll be so strange.”

She scoffs. “Why?”

“How will we explain that?”

“Sweetheart,” she says more firmly now, “you’re more worried about what everyone is going to think, when really you should only be worried about what you think. Do you love him? Is he what you want? Then let the rest fall where it will fall.”

I blink up at her. “And you’re not mad about this? Horrified?”

She shakes her head. “Of course not.”

“And Jack?”

“I can’t answer for Jack, but I know you both need to tell him. Right now isn’t the time because he’s praying for his son’s life, but when it’s done, and things have settled, you need to tell the truth.”

“Isn’t this even a little weird for you?”

She shakes her head and smiles a warm, beautiful smile. “No, because I don’t see that there’s anything wrong with it and sweetheart, neither should you.”

She leans down and kisses my head. “I’m going to go back and sit with Jack. Sleep, and we’ll talk more about this another time.”

“I love you, Mom.”

She smiles. “And I love you.”

With another kiss, she leaves. I slump back in the chair, my head starting to ache again.

“Well fuck me,” Blade rasps in a sleepy voice from the bed. “I thought I liked your mom before. Now I fuckin’ love her.”

I smile and turn. “Eavesdropper.”

He smiles and wiggles his fingers at me. “Come and get back in here with me. I’m not done with needing you.”

I walk over and slip back into the bed. “I hope you’ll never be.”

“Me too, darlin’.”

Then we both fall back to sleep.

~*~*~*~

We all sit around, nervously waiting for the doctor. It’s been twelve hours and we still haven’t heard much except that Ripley made it through the surgery. Now we have to hang in there as we wait for the rest of the news. Twenty minutes later, the doctor finally joins us. He’s a tall man, with salt-and-pepper hair and kind green eyes. He smiles warmly at us. That’s got to be a good sign. Right?

“Thank you all for being so patient. I have an update on Ripley.”

Jack stands. “Please Doc, just tell me.”

He nods and says, “As you know, Ripley had quite severe internal bleeding and a punctured lung. We managed to fix those and he’s stable. The swelling on the brain has subsided, but we’re lowering his body temperature just slightly to bring it down more. I have highs hopes of a full recovery, but of course we won’t know until he wakes up the extent of the damage to his brain.”

“So you’re sayin’ my boy might be . . . brain damaged?”

“There’s a possibility, but as I said, I’m hopeful. Ripley’s swelling wasn’t severe, and I’ve seen more cases than not with that kind of swelling who go home with no further problems, however right now I can’t promise that.”

“I understand,” Jack says, slumping back down.

My heart is hammering in my chest. Poor Ripley—he didn’t deserve this. I want to run in there and throw my arms around him, to tell him I love him and that it’ll all be okay, but I can’t. We just have to sit here and wait until he wakes up.

“How long until you expect him to wake?” Jack asks.

The doctor purses his lips in thought. “I would imagine in the next twenty-four hours.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

“We’ll cross that road when we come to it.”

Jack nods. “Can I see him?”

“Yes, one at a time only, in ICU I’m afraid.”

Mom squeezes Jack’s hand. “We’ll be here waiting.”

Jack looks to us all. “Go home, guys, get some sleep. You all need it and I’ll be here with Ripley.”

Brody and Mom nod, but Blade turns to me. The doctors gave me the all clear to go home an hour ago, but he knows I want to be here.

“Honey,” Mom says, apparently reading my mind, “you need rest. Jack will stay by Ripley’s side.”

I nod and turn to Blade. “Will you take me home?”

“Yeah.”

I hug Jack and he squeezes me tightly before following Blade out the door with a hand full of medication. I have a sore, stiff neck and one hell of a bump on the back of my head, but the tests ruled out anything sinister. Now I just need to rest until my poor brain has had the chance to rest too.

Blade and I ride home in silence, and the moment I get through the door Melanie comes charging towards me. She was away on a conference for work, but got home as soon as she could. She throws her arms around me and we cling to each other for a long, long while. “I’m so sorry, Ari.”

I pull back, smiling weakly. “It’ll be okay, I have to believe that.”

She nods, but her bottom lip is trembling. She likes Ripley. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m exhausted,” I admit.

“Get some sleep. I’m making soup for you.”

I can’t help but smile at her. “Soup is for colds.”

She scoffs and waves a hand. “Soup makes everything better. Go and bath, then sleep. I’ll be done in four or five hours. Who knew soup took that long?”

I smile and hug her again. She whispers, “I am so glad you’re okay,” into my ear before letting me go.

She gives Blade a weary smile and he tucks his arm around me. “I’ve got her,” he assures her before directing us down the hall.

While I take off my clothes, Blade runs my bath. Then he helps me in. We sit in even more silence and I can see his mind is elsewhere. He’s distracted, worried, feeling like shit about something more than his brother being in hospital.

“Hey,” I say. “Is everything okay?”

“Fine,” he murmurs, not looking at me.

“Blade . . .”

He turns to me and his eyes are glassy. I reach over and tug his hand. “Come on, you can tell me.”

“I didn’t know,” he whispers.

“Know what?”

“That he was suffering.”

Oh no.

“Blade,” I carefully say. “You didn’t know. He didn’t want you to know.”

He snaps his eyes to me. “But he wanted you to know?”

“Hey,” I gently go on. “He told me because I’m not close to him like you guys are. He probably doesn’t care what I think about him, but he does care what you guys think about him. He loves you, and he didn’t want to let any of you down.”

Blade looks away with a tense jaw. “He should have known nothin’ he could do would make me love him any less.”

“He’s scared.”

“And now I might never get the chance to tell him.”

I push up out of the bed and sit on the side of it with him, then I wrap my arms around him and hold onto him tightly. He lets me, not moving. We sit like that until my arms are numb, then he finally turns and scoops me into his arms. He carries me to the bed and lays a towel down, before dropping me carefully onto it and wrapping it around my body.

He stares down at me and fire burns in my belly. I think right now he needs me as much as I need him. I want to feel okay, just for a second. I want to know he loves me no matter what happens. I want to know that it’s all going to be okay.

“Make love to me,” I whisper.

He gives me a pained expression, as if the very idea hurts him.

Have I said the wrong thing?

He steps back, and I worry he’s going to leave the room. As I open my mouth to say something he lifts his shirt up and over his head, tossing it to the side. Then he drops his pants until he’s standing in front of me, naked. He leans down and positions his body over mine, pressing our foreheads together. We stay like that for a while, just feeling each other’s bodies, breathing each other’s breaths.

“I just wanna be inside you,” he says gently. “Just wanna feel you.”

“Then feel me, honey,” I whisper.

He slowly inches inside me, filling me bit by bit until we’re fully connected. Our breathing intensifies as his lips brush across mine, moving up my jaw until they reach my ear. There he whispers, “Fuckin’ love you, Aria.” I close my eyes and let those words sink into my soul, loving how they make me feel inside.

I glide my fingers down his back, memorizing every single part of him to keep inside me for the rest of my life. I love this man. I need him. I want him and I never plan on letting him go. As he moves inside me, our bodies join in a way they never have before. Not only is he making love to me, he’s letting me in, and because of that, I love him so much more.

“Baby,” he murmurs. “So good.”

“Yes,” I whimper. “Keep going.”

He moves faster, yet he still manages to keep it sweet and careful. His fingers run up my arms until my hands are above my head. He entwines our fingers and holds tightly as pleasure builds inside us both. Whimpering his name, I come with a soft cry against his neck. He makes a ragged, almost broken sound, and then he’s coming inside me with the same force that I just had.

He drops his forehead to mine when we come down from our high and his lips graze across mine. He pulls out without a word and goes into the bathroom, returning a moment later with a washcloth. He cleans us both up and then we slide into bed. I’m lying in his arms, my cheek pressed to his chest. I can hear his heart pounding; I can feel it against my skin.