Stepbrother Untouchable (18 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Realizing I now have the evening off, I take a deep breath
and call Allison. I'm still in a daze, but I want to share my good fortune with
her and Miriam. Allison and I haven't talked since our argument over the
summer, so I'm relieved when she accepts my invitation on behalf of both of
them. I pick a rather fancy restaurant, and assure her that it's my treat.

Half an hour later, I'm walking out of my room in a light
summer dress—the weather here in Virginia is still sweltering, even though it's
September. I walk slowly across the quad to the off-campus restaurant, trying
not to work up a sweat. I watch a group of freshmen girls giggling as they head
out for a group dinner. New hall mates, no doubt. I remember how nervous I was
my first year here, worrying that I wouldn't make any more friends than I did
in high school.

My insides contract as I pass the spot where I first saw
Nate crossing the grass, just a couple weeks into my freshman year. I shake my
head at myself. I have to forget him.

When I reach the restaurant, an upscale Mexican place known
for its flavored margaritas, I'm relieved to feel the AC hit me. The hostess
smiles at me just as I see Allison sitting in a booth by herself. She stands
with a nervous smile and I walk over.

“I hope you don’t mind,” she murmurs as we hug awkwardly. “I
sort of lied to Miriam and told her you pushed back dinner by fifteen minutes
so we'd have a chance to talk.”

A short bark of laughter escapes my mouth. “I don't know if
I've ever heard you lie before.” To my surprise, she blushes as we sit down
across from each other.

“Well, I've been thinking about what you said…about my being
judgmental…and maybe I am a bit of, you know, a goody two-shoes. Maybe I need
to loosen up a little. What I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry for what I said.”

I reach over and place my hand over hers. “Thanks. It means
a lot to hear you say that. I've hated not talking to you.”

“Me too,” she replies. I see her glance over my shoulder.

“And here I thought I was early!” I hear Miriam say. I stand
up to give her a hug. “I see you two have synced your watches, being in the
same city together all summer! Ugh, I was so jealous!” She sits down with a
dramatic sigh in the booth next to Allison, her bright red hair falling onto
her shoulder. “So. Catch me up on everything that's been happening.”

To my horror, I begin to tear up. “Oh, god, sorry,” I
murmur, reaching for a napkin.

“What's wrong?” Allison gasps. The waiter walks over and is
about to ask for our drink orders but they wave him away.

“It's…it's…” I grab a napkin to hide my face and try to take
deep breaths.

“Is it a boy?” Miriam guesses.

I nod. “Nate.”

“Wait, wait…not your stepbrother?” she asks incredulously.
Allison glances at me and I nod at her. She turns to Miriam.

“They started, you know, seeing each other over the
summer…but I guess something happened,” she fills Miriam in.

“Long story short,” I say, catching my breath. “Pierce is a
jerk, our parents got divorced, and we broke up.”

“Wow,” Miriam breathes, her eyes wide. “You had quite the
summer.”

“Tell me about it,” I say with a wry smile. “I could really
use a drink.” Allison flags down the waiter, and by the time our first round
has arrived, my tears have stopped.

“So, can I tell you guys my own secret?” Miriam asks,
leaning over the table conspiratorially. Allison and I nod. “I had sex!”

“Oh, god, now I'm the only virgin,” Allison moans. “How was
it?”

“Honestly…not that great the first time. But the third time,
I think I had an orgasm,” Miriam whispers.

“You
think
?” Allison asks, cocking her head in
confusion.

“Yeah, I think. What about you, Brynn?”

“What?”

“Did you and Nate…” she trails off suggestively.

“Um, yes.”

“And?” Allison leans forward.

My heartbeat quickens at the memory of his touch before
sadness washes over me. I shake my head. “I'd rather not think about it.”

I finish the rest of the dinner trying to engage in the
conversation, but knowing that I'm often forcing the smile on my face. Allison
and Miriam do their best to raise my spirits, and I try to act excited about
classes starting on Monday, but my mind, and my heart, aren't quite in it.

After I pay the bill, Allison and Miriam volunteer to walk
me back to my room, but I demur, feeling like a walk by myself before bed.
After I hug them goodbye, I stroll along the edge of campus, watching all the
action unfold as everyone enjoys the last weekend free of homework.

It's not long before I realize my feet are leading me past
the crew house.
Just a quick look
, I tell myself. I begin to walk more
slowly as I see it up the street. The lights are on inside the house, and I can
see some people hanging out on the front porch. The late summer night has just
darkened, and I stand under a street light peering up at the house. I can see
several of the crew guys up there, and a petite blonde leaning on the railing
with her back toward me.

The front door swings open and I press my lips together as I
see Nate walk out with two bottles of beer in his hand. He's so close…just
across the street and up the hill, and yet I can't be with him, this person
with whom I've shared such intimate moments.

My heart stops as he smiles at the blonde. It can't be…he
can't have moved on already. But there he is, offering her one of the beers,
and sitting down next to her on the railing and wrapping an arm around her
shoulders. A chill comes over me despite the warm air. I really am a fool.

I jump as a bottle crashes on a campus path just behind me.
I glance up to see the denizens of the porch also looking at the source of the
sound, and freeze for a moment as Nate stares right at me. Fuck.

I turn around, cursing myself for walking this way. I walk
quickly down the street, turning right onto a path to take me into campus.

“Brynn?” I hear him call out behind me, and the sound of
footsteps coming down the steps. I pick up my pace, hoping to lose him in the
darkness. I can't let our first meeting after breaking up be him finding me
spying on his house.

“Brynn!” I hear a woman's voice yell behind me, and almost
trip over my own feet in surprise. “Brynn!” she calls again, and I turn around.

“Eileen,” I say in surprise as she emerges out of the
darkness, slightly out of breath. “Was…was that you up there? With Nate?” She
nods, a wide smile covering her face. My eyes dart over his shoulder as I see
Nate stop by the entrance to the path.

“I'm down here visiting him for the weekend,” she says
happily.

“Oh, oh,” I murmur, covering my face in embarrassment. “I'm
sorry I ran…I thought…I mean, from the back, I thought you and he were…”

“Oh!” she exclaims. “Well, I suppose I'm flattered…I mean, I
do put my time in at the gym.” She steps forward and takes my hands. “I'm so
glad to see you Brynn. If you hadn't gotten involved, I wouldn't be here with
Nate today.” I try to blink back tears, but they roll down my cheeks anyway.
“I'm so sorry for everything you've been through—Nate told me—”

“Mom?” Nate says, stepping forward. “Mind if I talk to Brynn
alone for a minute?”

“Of course!” she calls over her shoulder, then turns to me.
“It's so nice to hear him call me 'Mom,'“ she says, then leans forward and
whispers in my ear, “Don't give up hope.” I blink at her in surprise as she
pulls away and walks back toward Nate. They share a smile and a few murmured
words before she continues back toward the crew house and Nate approaches me.

“Hi,” he murmurs as he walks up to me.

“Hello,” I reply, a bit more stiffly.

“I found her number where you left it,” he explains. “We met
several times while I was still up in Maryland, but it hardly seemed like
enough time, so she drove me back down here and is staying for a few days.” He
takes a deep breath. “When you told me you loved me—”

I raise my hand to stop him. “You don't have to explain. You
told me from the beginning that you didn't do relationships…that you didn't
lead girls on. So I should have known. I shouldn't have expected—”

“Brynn, please. Just give me two minutes, OK?”

I nod, shifting from foot to foot as I wish I could just run
away, all the way back to my room and pull the covers over my head. Anything so
that I don't have to hear all the reasons why he doesn't love me.

“When you told me you loved me,” he resumes, “I felt empty.”
Tears spring to my eyes—oof, that was worse than I thought. “No, not like
that!” he says, seeing my reaction. “I mean, I felt…inadequate. Like I had
nothing inside me to give back to you. Here you were, so strong, and smart, and
intelligent, and I felt like such a failure.” I'm shocked to hear his voice
break. He clears his throat before he continues. “I had failed
you.
I
felt… I mean, everything my dad had ever told me was a lie!” he exclaims, his
voice rising. “In that moment, I don't think I knew if I was capable of love.
What my father had shown me for years wasn't love, I don't think, it was
control. I felt so undeserving to be loved by you, and for me to even tell you
that I loved you, it wouldn't mean anything, because it would be from someone
who was empty.”

“You're not empty,” I murmur, unable to hear him talk about
himself like this even though he broke my heart.

“I'm starting to realize that. It's been good, seeing my
mom, talking to her, hearing the truth about my past. All the things that you
were trying to help me with. You were right all along.”

“I wasn't trying to be right.”

“I know, that's not—sorry, this is coming out all wrong. I've
been thinking about you every day, imagining us meeting up back on campus, and
it's just happened a lot quicker than I thought it would. I wanted to call you
every day, but I needed to make sure I was ready. That I had done some work on
myself before I tried to reach out to you. I know the kind of relationship I
want to have with you, and I want to make sure I'm ready for it.”

I blink at him, feeling confused. “So, what are you saying?”

“I'm saying that you're not my stepsister anymore, first of
all,” he says with a small grin. “They filed today.”

“You talked to your dad?”

“Just once. I couch-surfed with friends after you left. I
didn't want to stay in the same house with him.”

I stare at him as a realization begins to trickle through my
brain. “It was you, wasn't it? You got him to give my mom a settlement.”

He runs a hand through his hair. “Well, after talking with
my mom, and hearing what happened to her in their divorce, I was worried he
wouldn't be fair in dealing with your mom either. So, I, um, told him that if
he ever wanted to see me again, he'd have to give your mom some money in the
divorce. And your tuition, well, I figured after what he put you through, that
you deserved it.”

“I can't believe you did that.”

“Actually, I wasn't sure it would work. I mean, I wasn't
sure if he wanted to see me again anyway.”

“I think, in his own twisted way, he does love you.”

“His
very
twisted way.” He steps forward and reaches
for my hand, which is still entwined in my hair. He pulls it down and laces his
fingers through mine. “I can't promise you that I'll know how to be in a normal
relationship right away, but please, give me another chance. I know how badly I
fucked up, but I want to do better. Please. I want to learn with you.”

I pause, uncertain. Can I really put myself out there with
him? Risk my heart being broken again? I feel him begin to pull my hand gently
behind his back so that I'm forced to take a step in. He leans forward, tucking
my arm against the small of his back.

“No fair,” I whisper, as the heat of his body envelopes me.
He wraps his other arm around me.

“I know,” he says with a sly grin. “But can you blame me?
I'd do anything for another chance with you.”

Everything about him is so intoxicating. I'm dizzy with
desire for him after not being near him for close to a month. I turn my face up
to his.

“OK, OK,” I relent. “One more chance.”

The words have barely left my lips when he covers my mouth
with his. My legs almost give out as we touch—a mix of pleasure and relief
overwhelming my body.

“God, I've missed you,” he murmurs, breaking away for a
moment. I pull his head back down to mine and sink my tongue into his mouth.

“Get a room!”

We break away as a group of guys, probably freshmen, walk
past us, hooting and hollering. Nate glares at them for a moment, then rolls
his eyes.

“Come on, there's something I've wanted to do for a long
time anyway.” He leads me by the hand back out of campus and across the street
to the crew house. I'm wondering if he means something sexual, and worries he
forgot his mom is visiting him. We walk up the steps and I see her and the crew
guys turn to us as we step onto the porch. “Everyone, this is my girlfriend,
Brynn,” he announces proudly.