Stink and the Midnight Zombie Walk (3 page)

A
t school on Tuesday, Stink tapped Sophie of the Elves on the shoulder. “Hey, So —”

Sophie turned around. She had smears and smudges of green all over her face. And green streaks in her hair.

“Why is your face green?” Stink asked.

“Face paint,” said Sophie. “I couldn’t get it all off.”

“Why were you wearing green face paint?”

“Zombie,” Sophie whispered, and turned back around.

Stink almost jumped out of his seat. “Zombie! You’re into zombies, too?”

“Of
corpse,
” said Sophie. “Shh! Mrs. D.’s looking. Talk later.”

*  *  *

At lunch, Stink and Webster sat across from Sophie. Stink took out his baloney sandwich. With ketchup.

“Welcome to the vomiteria,” said Sophie. Stink and Webster cracked up.

“Wouldn’t it be weird if all of a sudden the cafeteria served brains?”

Suddenly Stink’s pink baloney and red ketchup did not look so good. “Freaky-zeaky,” said Stink. He munched on a dried apple instead.

Sophie opened her lunch box. She took out one cheese sandwich, carrot sticks, a box of raisins, and a . . . zombie!

“Meet Zombalina!” said Sophie.

Stink and Webster stared at a four-inch fairy with a ghost-white face, black-rimmed eyes, and freaked-out hair. Her skirt was made of blood-streaked Band-Aids.

“What happened to Blossomina, Rider of Unicorns and Friend to All Elves, who rids the world of evil sprites?”

“Sprites, schmites,” said Sophie. “Blossomina is Zombalina now!”

“Since when?”

“Since I read Nightmare on Zombie Street Books One and Two this weekend.”

“Do you know about the Midnight Zombie Walk at the Blue Frog Bookstore this Saturday?” asked Webster.

“Why do you think I have green paint on my face? I’ve been trying to figure out a zombie costume to wear.”

Riley Rottenberger butted in. “I’m going as a prom queen zombie.”

“Do you even know what a zombie is?” Stink asked.

“It’s like a princess,” said Riley, “only she wears black instead of pink.”

“A
dead
princess,” said Sophie.

“Do we have enough money for the books yet?” Webster asked Stink.

“Let’s see.” Stink ticked it off on his fingers. “We have four dollars from Missy, ten dollars from your birthday money, my five-dollar-off coupon . . . ”

“That’s not enough for two books,” said Sophie.

“Plus the two dollars we got in quarters if we don’t pay Judy back, plus the one dollar we put in the dish. If you count in my allowance, that’s more than twenty-five dollars and ninety-eight cents.”

“Yesss! We are so there!” said Webster.

Just then, the principal came into the lunchroom. “Boys and girls,” said Ms. Tuxedo. “I have some exciting news. We just reached nine hundred seventy-six thousand four hundred thirty-three minutes of reading!”

The cafeteria exploded with clapping and cheering.

“Only twenty-three thousand five hundred sixty-seven more minutes to go. Now, I know many of you have been reading the Zombie series, and there’s a new one coming out on Saturday, so I would like to declare this Friday Read to a Zombie Day.”

The lunch room went wild.

“Zool!” said Stink.

“Second- and third-graders will read aloud to K-1 kids in their classrooms. That’ll go a long way toward reaching our goal of one million minutes by Saturday. Don’t forget to join us at the Blue Frog Bookstore on that day to celebrate all our great reading!”

Riley Rottenberger raised her hand. “What about B.O.B.?”

B.O.B. was the Big Orange Box outside the front office. Nobody knew what was inside. It was a surprise.

“Tell you what,” said the principal. “If Virginia Dare School reaches one million minutes, I promise we will have the Big Orange Box moved to the bookstore on Saturday, and finally, at last, once and for all, open B.O.B.!”

“Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob,” the kids chanted.

When the room quieted down, Stink asked his friends, “What do you think is in there, anyway?”

“Maybe
B.O.B.
really stands for
Big Overstuffed Bear,
” said Sophie.

“A Big Overstuffed
zombie
teddy bear!” said Webster.

“Or
Box of Bears:
three hundred ninety-seven teddy bears, one for each kid at Dare School,” Riley butted in.

“Or maybe
B.O.B.
stands for
Big Oversized Brain,
and there’s zombie brains in there or something,” said Webster.

“Or something,” said Stink.

“Candy,” said Webster. “Ten hundred tons of candy.”

“Bookmarks,” said Sophie. “Teachers love bookmarks. And pencils.”

“
B.O.B.
is for
Big Old Bookmarks
?” Stink asked. “That stinks.”

“I guess we just have to wait till Saturday night to find out,” said Sophie. “Until then, I can borrow Book Three from the library and Book Four from you guys, and Book Five I can get on Saturday ’cause it’s almost my birthday.”

“Zweet!” said Stink.

“That will be worth like a zillion reading points,” said Webster.

“My house. After school,” Stink said. “We can help each other with our costumes. My sister has boxes of body parts and stuff.”

“Is she a zombie?” asked Sophie.

“Only
most
of the time,” said Stink.

“Zee you there,” said Webster.

S
ophie and Webster came over. Stink was sitting on the floor with Toady in his lap. He fed his toad two freeze-dried mealworms.

“I brought face paint,” said Sophie. “So we can practice zombie makeup.”

“I brought bloodshot eyeballs,” said Webster. “They’re really for bike spokes but we can glue them onto stuff.”

“And I have tofu, erasers, and Silly Putty,” Stink told them. “Stuff that looks like brains. And glow-in-the-dark gummy worms for maggots crawling all over us.”

Sophie shivered.

Webster decided to dress like a zombie soccer player. Sophie was going to be a zombie Girl Scout. Stink could not decide on a costume.

“It has to be scary. And creepy.” He opened his lunch box. He took a bite of leftover baloney sandwich and ketchup. Toady croaked.

Stink’s elbow knocked over the puppet that was sitting on his desk chair. The puppet had great big glarey eyes, creepy red lips, and scary eyebrows. And it was wearing a tuxedo.

Sophie picked up the puppet. “You could dress up like this doll. He’s creepy.”

“Charlie’s not a doll. He’s a dummy. A ventriloquist dummy.”

“A whosie whatsit dummy?” asked Webster.

“Ven-tril-o-quist. You know, like a guy with a puppet who can throw his voice. See, I make Charlie talk without moving my lips.”

“Let’s see!” said Webster.

Stink sat Charlie on his knee.

“I may be a dummy,” said Charlie, “but I’m not dumb.” His head snapped back and forth. His mouth clacked open and shut. “And I’m not afraid of zombies.”

Sophie cracked up.