Stroke Of Fear (17 page)

   “Lay down with me.”

   Falling to my knees, I lay beside her. She’s quiet, staring up at the sky. Her tanned skin is flawless in the moonbeams casting down on us. “You’re an alcoholic.”

  
What?
Squeezing my fists, I shake my head back and forth quickly. “No.” I won’t be called that. My father was an alcoholic. I’m broken. “I guess I’m just not as put together as you thought, darlin’.” 

   “You don’t have to be ashamed. We’re here to help each other. Heal one another.”

   “I’m not an alcoholic,” I bite through my teeth. She’s quiet. I know she doesn’t believe me.

   “Austin came and got me tonight. He thinks I’m your only chance. How long have you been drinking
, Tanner?”

   I sigh.
That fuckin’ bastard
. “Since she died.”

   A soft sigh escapes Aubrey’s throat. I want to stop it
. I don’t want her to hurt because of me. Ever. “Since I meet you it’s dwindled down. This is the first time since we’ve been serious. I came across a box of her things…and I just lost it.”

   Aubrey’s small hand wraps around mine. She doesn’t offer words of encouragement, because we both know they won’t help. She of all people know
s that. “What do you do for the pain?” I ask.

   She doesn’t take her gaze from the sky. “Nothing. I just hurt.”

   Christ. Leaning on my elbow, I stroke her cheek. “Thank you for bringing me out here. I needed it. I wouldn’t have minded if you slapped me again.”

   The side of her mouth pulls up in a smile. “Sorry about that.”

   “Don’t be. It made me want you more. I wanted to grab that hand and pull you closer.”

   She turns to face me. “You should have done it. Don’t be afraid to go to crazy places with me, Tanner. Those places are the best for you
—for us.”

   “You’re right. How about a swim?” I lean down and whisper against her throat. “No clothes. No barriers. Just us.”

   She shivers, her body pulled tightly against me. “Will you hold on to me?”

   “I’ll never let go.”

   I carry Aubrey toward the water. It’s dark, only the moonlight giving us a path to follow. She is light and soft in my arms. I feel a small nibble against my jaw, and I squeeze her tighter. “Be good, Aubrey,” I whisper.

   She smiles. “I’m not good at being good, Tanner. And neither are you.”

   She has no idea how fucking right she is.

   Sitting Aubrey down on the dock, I slide my hand over her collarbone. I just now realize what she’s wearing. Her yoga pants are formed to her tight ass. The tank top she has on is almost see
-through. I can make out the small round edge of her nipple against the soft fabric.
Jesus, I’ve got to get myself together.

   We had planned to spend the night at my cabin. Alone. I cuss underneath my breath. I fucked up again.
How in the hell does she keep from walking away from me? 
Smiling, she lifts her shirt until it’s on the ground below her. She doesn’t have a bra on. Her round breasts are…perfect. They fit my hand so well.

   She knows what she does to me. I see it on her face.
She’s not shy. She dropped her towel in two seconds. No shame. And she has nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve wanted to feel inside of her for weeks, but it’s never been the right moment.

  
A pair of red, lace panties barely cover her up. She turns to the side and slowly drags them down her hips, thighs, calves and feet.
Goddamn.
She lifts an eyebrow, daring me to say anything. I have no idea where this girl came from.
She was so scared and timid. Now, she’s fucking amazing.

   “Your turn,” she says slowly.

   Fisting my shirt, I tug it off. Then my boots and then my jeans. She glances down at my boxers. “Those, too.”

   “You know
, bossin’ me around is pretty sexy.”

   She lifts her shoulders and lets them fall. “I try.” When I’m completely naked, she lets out a long exhale. Her hazel eyes lift to mine.

   “You ready, darlin’?”

   She nods, stepping toward me. “You said you’d take care of me. I need you to take care of me now. I’m petrified.”

   “Doesn’t show.” I grab her underneath her legs and swing her up into my arms. “You’re okay. You’re always safe with me.”

   Closing her eyes,
she waits. I take her down the bank to the edge of the lake. It’s freezing when I step in. Aubrey’s shaking in my arms. “You’re so beautiful,” I whisper, taking her mind off the water that’s up to my thighs now. “You’re perfect.”

   She’s pressing into me tightly, her arms wrapped around my neck. “Tanner, don’t let go,” she whispers against my neck, a silent cry sticking in her throat.

   “I’ll never let go.” The water is at my waist now, her ass and back touch the surface. A few more steps and it’s up to my chest. She’s in the water. Her breaths are slow, her body slowly relaxing in my grip. “You feel that?” I ask.

   “I feel it. It’s intoxicating. I s
pent so many days, hours, weeks and years in the water.”

   “
Sometimes the things you love are the things you fear the most,” I whisper.

   A silent tear rolls down her cheek. I press my lip there and kiss it away. “You’re gonna learn to love it again, darlin’. You’re alread
y halfway there.”

   A sob breaks from her lips.

   “The scary things in life are the ones worth keeping,” I whisper.

   Her thick lashes span across her cheek before she glances up at me. “
You
scare me, Tanner. In the most amazing way. You knew me without even being introduced to me. That’s terrifying.”

   “That’s w
orth keeping,” I say against her ear.

   She leans into my chest and relaxes as I dip us a tad lower into the water. It’s cool but heavenly against the humid air. Fingernails dig into my back, and I bring her up a bit more.
I don’t know how long we stand there wading in the water. She finally relaxes in my arms.

   Silently, I bring her back to the bank and set her on the ground. She’s smiling as she puts her clothes on. Tying her hair into a ponytail, she glances up at me. “Thank you.”

   “No,” I say, grabbing her chin. “Thank you.”

Chapter Fourteen

Aubrey

   “You missed the stories last night.”

   I glance up from my food and look at Heath. I haven’t talked to him since our horseback activities. He has a goofy smile on his face. “What stories?”

   He plops down in front of me and starts to shovel in food like a machine. He’s a big guy, a little tubby around the belly. But buff.
He has reddish blond hair and scruff to match. “They hired this Indian woman to tell ghost stories about a reservation close to us.”

   “Well, that should help the kids sleep at night.”

   He snorts. “It was wicked. A bunch of the counselors are going to sneak out and go see the old house in the woods. They say some people were murdered there.”

  
I take a sip of my soup. It’s not very appetizing anymore. “That’s promising.”

   “You should come.” His gaze flickers toward mine. “And Tanner.” He’s holding back his smile and shoveling food in at the same time. A mouthful falls to his plate and I snort.

   “Gross.”
   He smiles over the food in his teeth. “Really you should come.”

   “Come to what?”
Cassie asks, sitting down beside Heath.

  
Oh, please don’t tell Cassie
. I’m trying to give him eye signals, but he’s too busy talking over his dinner. “There is the old house in the woods a few miles away. Remember the story last night?”

  
Cassie nods.

   “Well, a bunch of us are going to go. Want to come?”

   “Hell yes,” she says, looking at me. I roll my eyes. “Oh, come on, Aubrey. It’s one night. It’ll be fun. Plus, you can invite Tanner.” She waggles her brows.

   Shit.
Cassia will bug me all day long. I can see it on her face. “Maybe for a little bit.” I inwardly scold myself for being a pushover.

   “Success!”
Cassie yells.

***

   I double layer my clothes. Its summer, but the evening winds are chilly. About seven of us are going tonight. Tanner is lying on my bed, head resting against my pillow. His hands are behind his head, leaving a sliver of skin showing above his jeans. God, I’d seen him naked last night, and I’m one-hundred percent sure he won’t disappoint when we finally do it. He was thick, hard. I wanted to reach down and wrap my hand around him. But, I’d already dropped my clothes. I didn’t want to push my limits, too much. I don’t even know where this part of me comes from.

   I was like this before the accident
, but not in four years. Tanner brought it out in me.

“Stop checking Tanner out and get ready,”
Cassie hisses. “We’re leaving in ten.”

   “Wow, I’ll never let you be my wingman,” I grumble.

  Tanner sits up on his elbow and smiles up at me. The hoodies he’s wearing is tight on his biceps. If I had half a brain I’d ditch Cassie and spend the night wrapped in them. “You checkin’ me out, darlin’?”

   “Red-handed.”

   He winks, then stands up. “I know. It’s so hard not to look.”

   “I’d be a liar if I said that wasn’t true.”

   Cassie fakes a gag and runs her brush through her hair.

    “So
, what’s this house we’re goin’ to see, anyway? We missed the story.”
   Cassie snorts. “Supposedly some family was murdered there in the seventies. The story was wicked. Some crazed ex-boyfriend comes after the woman and kills her family off.”

  
Ex-boyfriend. Killer. Great.
Tanner’s eyes shift toward mine and Cassie frowns. “Sorry, I’m just now getting used to the story, Aubrey.” She reaches over and gives me a long hug. I’m glad I told her. I’m not sure why I ever doubted telling her in the first place.

   “It’s okay,” I say, pulling back. “We better get going.”

   All the counselors are sitting in their vehicles when we get to the parking lot. The blonde that was pressed up to Jake is standing beside him. She won’t make eye contact with me. Jake is clearly pissed off, but he manages a small wave.

   Eric pokes his head out from the back of the truck in front of us. “Who’s ready to go get the shit scared out of them?”
   Cassie raises her hand.

“That
a girl,” Eric says, glancing my way. I flip him off and he laughs, loudly. “Everyone pile into the cars. We’re going ghost hunting.”

  
Tanner chuckles and drags me toward his truck. I’m so glad he didn’t try to ride with them. This way I have a better chance of talking Tanner into leaving early.

   “Are you sure you’re okay with doing this, Aubrey? We don’t need you anymore scared than you already are.”

   I pull the strings of my hoodie. “I’m sure. I gotta stop being so damn scared all the time. I can’t live that way.”

  
Tanner grabs my chin with his fingers and makes me look at him. “You have every right to be scared. You’re only human. Humans have fears. It’s inevitable.”

   I lean into his palm
. God, he feels perfect.
“What’s your fear?”

  
Tanner screws his eyes shut and wraps his hand around my neck to pull me closer to him. “Losing you.”

   The drive only takes about fi
ve minutes. It’s getting parked out of people’s way and out of sight that’s the problem. When we finally part underneath a shade of oaks, everyone gets out.

   Eric’s taken the role as leader, but no one stops him. I’m guessing everyone else is scared shitless. “It’s about a mile this way. Follow me!”

   Cassie squeals and jumps on his back. “Let’s hurry, so we’re not in the back,” I whisper to Tanner.

  
Once we hit the woods everyone goes quiet. The wind whips through the trees, giving off an eerie whistle. “Scared, darlin’?” Tanner whispers.

   “Uh huh,” I say, curling into his chest. “This was a dumbass idea.”

   “Then why did you say you’d come? I mean we could be doing something else right now,” he mumbles against my ear.

   I smile. “Peer pressure.”

   He tugs on my side. “There.” He tosses his head in front of me.
Holy shit.
When they said Victorian home I didn’t realize it would be gigantic. It’s probably one of the biggest houses I’ve ever seen. The shutters are only hanging by a few nails, the black paint worn and it’s rusted around the edges.