Surviving Love (Surviving #2) (25 page)

“Talk to me,” he insisted. I couldn’t find my voice.

His stubble scraped against my neck, down my chest to the swell of my breasts. The harsh abrasion against my soft skin felt spectacular. I closed my eyes and threaded my hands in his hair, holding him to me. I closed my eyes, desperate for him to put his hands on me. My skin burned in anticipation of him taking me here in the kitchen.

“No bra?”

“No,” I gasped. His large hand cupped the full weight of my aching breast, burning through the thin cotton barrier. His thumb circled my nipple, making it pucker painfully. A groan burst from deep within my throat. My skin sizzled with heat.

“What do you want?” he rasped, sending goose bumps over my heated flesh.

“You.” Right now all I needed was his touch.

He snaked his hands into the neck of my shirt and pulled, hard. Tiny little tinkles of delicate buttons scattering across the cold tiles. Warm heat captured a beaded point and sucked hard. My body spasmed as I clutched at his hair and rose onto tiptoes struggling with the desperate need in my body.

“Oh God!” I cried out, pulling at his hair.

He cupped my bottom, lifting me with his strong arms, and placed me onto the counter. The cold wood of the counter shocked my burning flesh; I wriggled, needing to abate the aching at my core. Johan pressed between my open thighs, I cried out in relief as his hard length applied delicious pressure, exactly where I needed him. My core pulsed and throbbed and I wriggled against him; I needed him more than air right at this moment.

The kitchen filled with moans and loud breathing as our grunts of euphoric pleasure became a chorus. I cried out again when he bit my aching nipple.

The wet hot sensation of his mouth and the harsh brush of his stubble created such a conflicting sensation I balanced the precipice of orgasm. I pressed my wet heat against him, and when he sucked hard I cried out, my mind blanked, my body spasmed as joy overtook. I pulled at his hair, both wanting to pull him away and keep him against me. My body flamed; the sensation was overpowering.

“Fucking beautiful,” he said.

I lifted my gaze to look into his hooded blue eyes. They were sparkling sapphires of lust. I cupped him through his jeans and squeezed. He moaned loudly and thrust his hips into me. I pressed against his chest so he would step back. He frowned slightly until I hopped of the counter, unhooked the button on his jeans, and slowly lowered his zipper. He smiled and leaned forward for a kiss but I placed my finger against his lips and started to kneel before him. I pressed a kiss on his shirt over his heart.

“What—”

I curled my fingers into the waistband of his boxers and released his hard heavy length. The tip was red with anticipation. A drop of pre-cum beaded at the tip and I flicked my tongue out to catch it.

“Fucking hell,” he roared and lifted his hands to thread through his hair. The tiles were cold and unforgiving against my knees but I needed the contrast to stop me from bursting into flames.

“Lou.”

“Sssh,” I whispered with my lips against the crown of his erection. He shivered violently. I ran my tongue under the ridge and over the tip. He tried to pull away but I wrapped my hands around his buttocks and held firm. I smiled and pulled my mouth away, I needed my mouth somewhere else first, a longing I could no longer deny. I lifted on my knee and snaked my tongue out against his delicious V. He shuddered as my tongue trailed down the salty ridge of his hip to the soft mass of dark hair at his groin.

“Mmm.” I hummed in the back of my throat.

“Lou...fuck!” He gasped  as I opened my mouth and took him into the warm wet heat. His legs shook and he forcefully pulled away, staggering away from me to lean against the kitchen table. He placed both hands behind him, bracing himself; his clothed body and exposed cock were the sexiest sight I had ever seen. His chest heaved with deep breaths. He took his length in hand and stroked fiercely.

“I could come just by watching you with that look in your eyes and you on your knees, Lou.”

I looked down at myself kneeling on the floor, my shirt ripped open revealing my naked breasts and wet knickers.

I looked up at him through my lashes with a sly smile on my face. I slid my nightshirt over my shoulders and let it fall to the floor. I hooked my fingers in my knickers –

“I take those off,” he demanded. A surge of heat pooled in my core at his tone. I crawled towards him over the cold floor, then slid my hands up his denim clad thighs, harsh fabric against my palms before the silky steel of his dick.

“You don’t have to,” he said before I took the full length in my mouth. His salty musky scent aroused me so much I slid my hand between my thighs to find my aching clit.

“Hands off,” he moaned deliciously deep, “mine!” His voice sounded like a guttural growl, and I smiled around his cock, moving my hand away from my pussy. 

He slid his fingers into my hair, stroking his thumb over my hollowing cheeks. I took him to the back of my throat and looked up at him through hooded eyes. He gazed down at me, his eyes misted over to a dark midnight blue. I whimpered against him with the ache between my thighs. I closed my eyes and savoured the taste and feel of him sliding in my mouth. I could feel him pulsing between my lips, the swollen tip giving me more of his salty taste. Strong hands wrapped around my arms and pulled me up.

“I need my cock inside you.” The deep timbre of his voice sent shockwaves through my body.

He placed me on the table, hooked his fingers in the elastic of my knickers and pulled them down my legs, then placed a soft kiss to the arch of my foot before positioning himself between my thighs.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful, Lou.” He stared down at my aching centre; I was exposed but I didn't feel the need to hide. I wanted him to see me. I leaned back on my elbows and arched my back.

“Fuck me, you’re every man’s fantasy.”

“I only want to be
your
fantasy.”

“You had me at
who’s this clown
?” I giggled at his reference to our first meeting in my sister’s bedroom, but it turned into a loud moan when he thrust into me. He braced his arms on both sides of my hips and rocked inside me, shallow teasing thrusts.

“Johan!” I gasped.

“I got you, sunbeam.” He moaned when my insides clamped down on him, then surged forward filling me, owning me, and totally scattering my brain.

C
hapter 14

Louise

6 Weeks Later.

I bit the tip of my thumbnail and watched as Johan sipped his coffee and read the newspaper. Tonight was the night of the formal function held by the company he worked for. It had been delayed yet again due to international scheduling of overseas companies. So the bad news was that I’d already returned one gown I bought because it no longer fit; who would have thought baby bean would’ve grown so much in so few weeks. But I had a very prominent bump now, and there was no disguising it. With encouragement, or should I say full-blown bullying from my irritating housemate turned boyfriend, I had purchased another long formal gown that elegantly hugged my bump. Johan said it made him want to devour me in the changing room, so I’m taking that as a good sign.

We’ve been going slow, respecting one another’s need to ease into this relationship. I feel like a bloody teenager again, necking and making out whenever we can, secret kisses in the kitchen when people come to visit. The thing I enjoy the most is seeing Johan free of his nightmares, watching him smile, his eyes sparkling. I love the lighter side to him, the one not bogged down by hidden demons. And the best thing is that he stopped referring to himself as a freak. That was the one thing that hurt to hear the most. Those bastards did unspeakable things to my man, but he bore the brunt and the blame and I hate them for it.

Since we first made love, we have shared a bed every night and I love it. Other than being able to touch his gorgeously fit body, his nightmares stay away if I’m close. So at night he climbs into bed, holds me, and falls asleep. Sounds pathetically droll, but I love I can do that for him.

“So you sure you want me to go with you?” I asked.

“For the last time, yes!” He answered without looking up from the newspaper.

“People are going to assume you’re the baby’s daddy and you’re going to have to face question after question with your colleagues,” I warned.

He shrugged his shoulders. “So, I’ll just let them assume it, no big deal. I live with you, we’re together, so when he arrives, I
will
be like his dad in many ways. Besides, our friends know the truth anyway. But who gives a shit if they think I
am
the father? That’d be pretty amazing if I was.”

Tears glistened in my eyes. I walked around the dining table to him and when he saw me coming he finally looked up from his paper and moved his chair back from the table. I straddled his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck, my stomach pressing against his stomach as he smiled down at it.

“My boy is getting big,” he said.

I laughed, I went all gooey inside every time he referred to baby bean as
my boy
.

“Sunbeam, you need not worry about what other people think about us. We are what we are, no one else’s opinion matters. Except Eve maybe, and I suppose Dominic. But he calls me a little shit all the time so I don’t think he’s of sound mind.”

“Oh, he has it right,” I joked, I laughing loudly when he tickled my sides.

“It’s great she’s going to be there, wouldn’t have felt the same without her,” he said contemplatively.

“I know, I just hope people don’t swamp her with questions. It’s the first time since being released from hospital she’s ventured out and I know people are concerned about her, I just think she’s going to be a nervous wreck and she doesn’t—”

“I’ve already warned people to ease her back into it. Liam and Dy are going to be there, Emily also. Not so sure Alex will be worth shit once he sees your sexy little ass in that dress, but he promised to keep the vultures at bay. We know who to watch.”

My spine stiffened. “You mean there are people who will—”

“Lou, I swear I won’t let it happen. And can you honestly see her personal bodyguard letting anyone near her? I’m surprised we were allowed visitation at the hospital. I was certain once Dominic got her back to his apartment we would never see her again.”

“I think he blames himself in some way for what his brother did.”

“Yeah, I know how that guilt feels.”

“Honey, you have nothing at all to feel guilty about,” I said, cupping his face. I smoothed my finger over the crease between his eyebrows. “You’re getting wrinkles with all this frowning.”

“
Pullese!
I don’t have wrinkles, I have the face of a guy half my age.”

“You have the maturity of a guy half your age.” I laughed.

“And the stamina?” He lifted a cocky eyebrow.

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

“Ouch.”

I pressed my lips to his. “I’m no cougar, so I agree you’re gawgus just as you are. Even with wrinkles.”

He wrapped his arms around me, sliding his hands under my arse and holding me to him as he stood. “Well, before I  go get my gawgus face even prettier, I’m going to show you exactly how much stamina I have. Then we’re gonna need a shower before we go out, and you, sunbeam, need to put that dress on and take my breath away again. But be warned I’m ripping it off the second we get home.”

I couldn't resist, I pressed against him and kissed him soundly, parting his lips with my tongue; his moan vibrated through my body.

“I have a few hours at least before we have to get ready and I’m going to devour you.”

“Promises, promises,” I joked. I’d experienced on more than one occasion the stamina he had and it was a bloody miracle I wasn’t walking bow-legged. “Hey, will your mum and dad be there tonight?”

He shook his head. “No, Dad turned the invitation down. I knew he would. Mama-su hates flying and he won’t leave the country without her. Will might be there, although I haven’t had a chance to confirm it with him. He’s been a little elusive as of late.”

“Are you okay about your parents not attending?”

He lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “I never expected them to be there, I know how mama-su is.”

“Why do you call her that?”

“What?”

“Mama-su? You call your dad,
Dad
but her you never call her Mum.”

Johan’s face paled and I hated that I’d asked a question that obviously hurt him.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to answer,” I said quickly.

“I feel like I’d be betraying my biological mom, that’s why
.
Like I’d forgotten her, you know?”

“Oh honey, no, it wouldn’t...your mom will always be a part of you. You said you have her eyes, you have her memories. She is in your heart, just because you call someone else by that name, doesn’t mean she is anything less to you. Your mum was the first person you loved, and a person never forgets their first love.”

“I can’t picture her anymore.” He sighed and a stricken look crossed his face. “When I was a kid after she...after she died I used to dream about her. Every night I could see her clearly, then
he
started with his crap and it just became a scared voice I heard. She would shout for me to run away but I couldn't see her anymore. Then after...
that
started she stopped coming to see me altogether. She abandoned me in my dreams and left me alone again.”

My heart hurt for him, the vulnerability in his voice killed me.

“I never had a picture of her, I hate that I can’t remember her. What kind of son would forget his mom? She had such a beautiful face...she...”

“Honey, you were traumatised, I’m surprised you remembered your own bloody name.”

He shook his head vehemently.

I cupped his face and forced him to look at me. “None of what happened was ever your fault. Your mum died as a result of a sick bastard’s sadistic tendencies, Ryan died in a mindless war, Eve was beaten but survived. None of those things you could have prevented. But you saved Eve, I know for a fact you were your mum’s world, you filled her heart and she died loving you with every fibre of her being. And Ryan...he grew into an honourable man, a man we all should be proud of. But I think more than that, I adore his memory for saving
you
.”

“He’d have loved you. I don’t think I’d have stood a chance if you would have met him.”

“Was he as irritatingly handsome as you are?” I winked.

“More so.”

“I don’t believe you, it’s just not possible. People would go blind.” I laughed at his beautiful smile.

“I'm scared you’re too perfect to be real,” he said soberly.

“Oh, I know, but you’ll get used to my brilliance.”

“You’ll make a great mom.”

“We’ll make a great team,” I amended, but my stomach twitched nervously, because I was terrified it would be too much.

His hands spread over my bump. “I can’t wait.”

I prayed he meant it. I opened my mouth to say something when the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it, you go make a cuppa before we have to get ready.”

“Yes boss,” he said with a fake salute.

When I opened the front door, two incredibly tall men were standing on the doorstep smiling at me. One had an immaculate and rather dashing tuxedo on; he looked like a young James Bond with blond hair, and definitely a license to kill with those green eyes. I glanced at the man behind him and smiled warmly; he was
huge
, as in my thighs were as big as his biceps, he had a closely shaved head, a stern expression, and blue eyes that were almost brighter than Johan's. I thought for sure someone had sent the bailiffs round as a joke.

“Hey, is Johan around? I’m Will, his brother.” He stepped forward on the doorstep and I had to lift my head up to look up at him; he was even taller up close.

“Christ, what do they do in America, stand you all in fertiliser until you’re the size of giants?”

When he laughed I realised I had said that aloud, and my cheeks heated immediately.

“You must be Louise,” he said in a gentle, warm voice.

He held out his hand, and I took it.

“What do you mean I must be Louise?” I asked, releasing his strong grip.

“Johan warned me you were forthright.”

I pursed my lips but at the mention of Johan I couldn't help but smile.

“He never said you were coming.”

Will looked over his shoulder nervously at
silent guy.
Then his attention came back to me. “We wanted to surprise him. Can we come in?”

I stepped aside and gestured for them to enter. I walked into the kitchen with them behind me. I heard the front door close softly.

“Someone’s here to see you,” I said to Johan’s back as I entered the kitchen. Johan turned to look at me with a mug in his hand.

Will followed me in and Johan’s face lit up like a bright summer’s day.

“Hey!”

“Hey buddy.” Will beamed. Stepping into the kitchen, he glanced over his shoulder. “I’ve brought someone to see you.”

“Marissa? How’s my number one fan?”

I giggled to myself, because at least his inappropriate flirting spanned the North Atlantic. I frowned when Will’s body language changed; it was a strange feeling, almost like the kind I get when the hairs stand on the back of my neck when someone approaches in the dark, or the tingling when I know something is about to happen. A shiver ran down my spine and I sidestepped towards Johan. He was seemingly unaffected, thrilled to see his brother.

Will stepped closer to Johan with his hands held out in a placating manner, almost as if he were calming a  skittish animal. I wanted to yell at the shithead for treating Johan that way, but a loud smashing noise startled me. I looked at Johan who’d suddenly turned pale, frozen, his jaw gaping. Will stepped closer to him as if ready to restrain him if he had to.

I followed Johan’s line of sight to the door where the other
buff
man had entered and noticed the giant had tears in his eyes. I slid towards Johan and stood protectively by his side. I watched the man step forward and Johan’s body gave a jolt. He threw himself against the counter, banging his back against the edge. I held my hand out to keep the man at distance. I looked at Will who was watching Johan with a look of absolute panic.

“Who is he?” I snarled at Will. He glanced at the doorway and back at Johan. Then the
giant
spoke.

“Hey, little buddy.”

Johan started shaking. He crumpled to the floor before either Will or I could catch him and immediately
buff
guy was there, pulling him to his chest. He dwarfed Johan, and made him look like a child. I slapped my fist against his massive bicep, like a flea hitting an elephant’s arse.

“Get the fuck—”

“Hey, little buddy it’s me.”

“Who?” I asked, frantic.

Johan lifted his head to stare into the man’s eyes. “Ryan, it’s Ryan.”