The Awakening (14 page)

              She lifted a shoulder nonchalantly. "It’s what friends do." She hugged her coat closer. "Stay warm," she shivered and turned to unlock her door.

              "Aelan," he whispered softly.

              She didn’t turn to face him. "Yes?"

              "Don't be afraid to move forward. You'll be okay. You have people who love you...who aren't going to let you fail. I promise."

              She closed her eyes and nodded. She didn't move again, until she heard his engine start, and he pull out of the drive. She then pushed the door open, and hurried inside.

Chapter 6 Coping

            
 
Nolan’s parting words from the night before kept running through her head. She really did need to allow herself to move on.

              She carefully began going through David’s clothing…coming upon his old college sweater nearly did her in.

              She slipped out of her t-shirt and pulled it over her head. It was far too big and bulky, but it brought her comfort and she snuggled into it as she sorted the rest of the clothes to donate. There were many out there that would benefit from these. She had no right keeping them.

              She did well, packing with no tears. She sorted shirts, pants shoes, jackets...she neatly packed them and marked them for donation. She'd have Bradley and Emily help her take them...she wasn't quite brave enough for that! Not on her own.

              Feeling exhausted, she decided a shower was her best bet. She shuffled to the bathroom. She turned on the faucets, tested the heat with her fingers and pulled the lever for the shower to sputter on.

              She threw off her clothes and climbed into the warm water. It felt good and soothed her tired muscles. Why had that task abused her body so badly? It wasn't hard labor...yet as the steam melted her muscles, she realized why she ached all over. She had held herself rigid, literally...pushing away the memories those items held. Each shirt....every tie...she remembered how each one looked on David. She remembered how he smelled...the smile, the gentle loving eyes. A tear trickled down her cheek. She had been fighting against the pain, not allowing the sorrow. She was proud of her new found bravery...but it was still a work in progress.

              She missed him...but she had to move on... to live again. Nolan’s soft spoken farewell ran through her thoughts again.

              He seemed to know the answers, but there was so much about him that made her feel they would not be easy answers. And the guilt, oh the guilt over what she felt for him....it was deep and it was unrelenting.

              She rinsed her hair, and then just stood under the showers flow.

              When the water started running cold, she sulkily turned it off and stepped out, wrapping herself in a big plush towel. 

              She rubbed herself dry, attacked her hair with the towel, then slipped David’s sweater back on, nothing else... it was all she needed, and it was certainly big enough. She brushed out the tangles of her hair, and rehung her towel.

              In the kitchen, she pulled a bottle of wine from the fridge, and snagged a glass from the cabinet.  The cork made a popping noise as she carefully pulled at the bottle opener. She glanced over at the ever attentive Turk as she poured. She rested against the counter and took a long sip of the crisp white wine.

              Turk whined at her, his paw lifted.

              She sighed and, carrying her glass of wine, led him outside onto the deck. She opened the gate on the deck and let him down.

              Leaning against the railing, she smiled and took another big sip of her wine. She certainly hoped to have no visitors this evening. She ran a hand through her damp hair, and tugged the sweater further down her thighs. Never had she had a worry in her back yard about intruders or visitors other than Emily. Not since....she sighed, trying to banish an image of a silver eyed Nolan. Her tummy fluttered with excitement, then crashed with guilt.

              She went inside for a moment and retrieved her phone, suddenly needing to speak to Emily. Emily would bring her back down to earth.

              She walked back out and checked her texts...one from her Mom...congratulating her on her venture away from the house...she hadn't told her yet about her outing with Nolan the other night. She wondered if she wanted to open that can of worms. An evening with friends is one thing...dinner with a young man was another.

              She also had a text from Emily, three missed calls, and a voice mail. The text read,
where are you...we have shopping to do!?!

              "Damn," Raina swore. 

She stomped her foot, and to calm herself, took a swallow of wine. She growled and plopped down on the chase.

              Already she was feeling guilty about keeping her dinner with Nolan a secret! She just couldn't bring herself to share that night for some reason. She knew Nolan and Thanatos had said nothing to Bradley, and ultimately Emily...or she never would have heard the end of it.

              She couldn't believe she had forgotten all about the plans with her best friend. They had made a trip for the decor, but would be getting the fresh food tonight...especially the meats for the grill. "Damn," she growled again. Neglecting her phone had not been a good idea.

              She listened to the message Emily left. She'd be at the house around seven...ready or not! So she thought Raina was trying to get out of it?! It was a fair assumption. It was 5:30 now...she'd be ready in time. She called her friends number and got voicemail right away. She got to her feet and began pacing...she grasped for her glass and as she waited for the beep, and took another sip.

              "Em, its Rain, I'm so sorry, I really forgot! I....I was sorting through David’s..." she drew in a breath. "David’s clothes." Her voice broke a bit. "I will be ready at seven, I promise. At the moment I'm standing on the deck engulfed in David’s sweat shirt...gulping down a glass of wine, and wondering what he would think of this. I will be ready when you come!" She hit the end button on her phone, and was shocked when a buzz shook it at the same moment. The number was not a recognized one.

              She answered with a tentative...”hello?"

              "He'd approve," a voice purred over the phone.

              Raina shook her head. "Who is this? And who would approve of what?"

              "Why your attire my dear. David certainly would approve. His wife looks very sexy in his sweatshirt and well... I assume nothing else?" A deep throated chuckled followed.

              Raina called to Turk to return to the deck. He leapt up, keen to his masters distress.

              "Why are you calling me?”

              "Just appreciating the view. Unlike your protector…playing the favorite at work again."

              Raina frowned, and again tugged at the hem of the sweater.

              "That doesn't help...I assure you. It is, however, very tempting...you really shouldn't be in public like that...it’s...well, it should be illegal."

              Raina glanced to the wood but saw nothing. But she knew...she just knew. She felt anger at the intrusion. "So...making up for the other evening are you? You are no gentleman. Are you always so arrogant?"

              "Only with you Raina. You fuel it though...just look at you." he chuckled again. "It would not be unpleasant, being with me. I promise you that." His voice lowered.

              Raina felt the hairs on her head prickle with fear. She swallowed. "Thanatos?"

              "Hmm hmm?" his voice was sultry now.

              "Bite me!" She swung around and stomped into the house, Turk close at hand. She locked the sliding glass door behind her. She frowned at the outside, and then hurried to go get into her jeans. She was in a huff, snapping her bra in place under the sweat shirt, then shoving her feet into a pair of socks.

              She looked down at her phone that again buzzed with an unknown number. Angrily she answered. "I thought I told you to bite me?"

              There was silence, and she was about to hang up, when a startled voice spoke up. "Raina? Are you okay?"

              Nolan! Her heart leapt!

              "Oh Nolan it’s you! I’m sorry!”

              He began to chuckle. “Who were you asking to bite you?"

              "Thanatos," she bit out.

              "He called?"

              "Yes!"

              "And he frightened you?"

              "Always."

              He sighed. "I told you I wouldn't allow harm to come to you...don't you believe me?"

              "Yes, I believe," she said softly. "But...He said you were at work playing the favorite."

              His chuckle was warm and tempting; she couldn't help her smile and the riot of butterflies in her stomach.

              "You weren't?"

              "No, I wasn't."

              "You were..."

              "Close by," he answered. " I can't be all places at all times...but let him keep thinking I won't be all places you are when he is not in my sight."

              “Did you see me then?"

              "Yes," he said softly.

              "I didn't do it on purpose...I wasn’t expecting anyone to see me. Now I'm incredibly embarrassed!"

              "Don't be Aelan," he whispered. "There was nothing inappropriate about how you look."

              The pet name sent a delightful shiver down her back. She sighed. "The way he said it...it just felt...I felt exposed."

              He was quiet for a second. "Don't get me wrong... there is nothing sexier to a man than to see a woman in just a shirt, feet bare, hair damp and a glass of wine in hand. But it’s not about exposure...it’s about the mystery."

              Raina's heart teetered a bit. "Really?"

              "Yes," he spoke thickly.

              "So I was sexy?"

              Again a second of silence. "Yes Raina, now stop fishing for compliments!" His voice was gruff with some emotion, and she liked it. "What are you doing tonight?"

              She saw his ploy to change the subject, and decided to tease. "Nothing if you're coming over." She held her breath, and heard him gasp.

              "Aelan, you are not playing fair. I only worry over your protection...it was easier when you were scared to go out. So where are you going tonight?"

              She smiled into the phone." I love when you call me that...what does it mean?"

              He chuckled again. "You don't know?"

              "No," she laughed.

              "Then I guess you can keep guessing."

              She liked the sound of that. She wasn't sure she wanted to ruin the mystery. "Aelan," she tested it out on her tongue.

              "What are you doing tonight?" he pushed gently.

              "Out with Emily. We're picking some things up for tomorrow." She bit her lip, “How am I not playing fair?"

              "What?" He cleared his throat. Clearly he knew what she was asking.

              "I'm not playing fair?"

              He growled. "You aren't supposed to be trying to tempt me."

              "I tempt you?"

              "You're certainly trying hard enough," he growled in response.

              "So I possibly could get you to come over?"

              "No."

              "I don't believe you," she whispered, wondering where this bravery was coming from. Just twenty minutes ago she was sobbing in the shower over her late husband, now she was proud to be tempting another.

              "Believe what you want," he finally purred. "But I will see you tomorrow...I'm looking forward to seeing you."

              "Really?"

              He chuckled again. "Really...now no worries...have fun with Emily tonight...no fear."

              The call ended way before she was ready. She took in a breath. She ran her fingers through her damp hair once more and smiled. She then tripped up the stairs and into her bathroom to fix herself up for her friend.

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The day of the BBQ was overcast, much to Emily’s dismay. At least it wasn't freezing cold!! They would make do...all would be all right. At least this is what Raina kept telling her distraught friend.