The Book of Mormon Girl (20 page)

David Kamper gave me heart. Every day.

Thank you to the women who had faith in this book and undauntedly made it happen: Jessica Ravitz, Rhoda Janzen, Claudia Cross at Folio, and Leah Miller and Jill Siegel at the Free Press. Matt Page crafted the original cover design.

Many names in this memoir have been anonymized to protect individuals’ privacy, and a few story elements resequenced in the service of narrative.

In
chapter 3
, cited song lyrics are from Lex de Azevedo, “Saturday’s Warrior,”
Saturday’s Warrior: Original Cast and Soundtrack
, Embryo Records, 1974. All references in
chapter 4
are to Marie Osmond,
Marie Osmond’s Guide to Beauty, Health & Style
, Touchstone Books, 1980; lyrics are from Julie de Azevedo, “Window to His Love,”
Window to His Love
, Lumen, 2003. In
chapter 5
, cited song lyrics are from Evan
Stephens, “True to the Faith,”
Hymns of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
, published in Salt Lake City by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1985.

An earlier version of
chapter 3
appeared in the
Michigan Quarterly Review
.

© ASHLEY DUCHENE

Joanna Brooks
is a national voice on Mormon life and politics, an award-winning scholar of religion and American culture, and the author or editor of five books. She has been featured on American Public Media’s
On Being,
NPR’s
All Things Considered,
NPR’s
Talk of the Nation, Interfaith Voices, Radio West,
and BBC’s
Americana,
and in the
New York Times,
the
Washington Post,
the
CNN Belief Blog,
and the
Huffington Post.
She is a columnist for the online magazine
ReligionDispatches
and offers answers to seekers of all stripes at her own website,
Askmormongirl.com
. Follow
@askmormongirl
on Twitter or visit her at
joannabrooks.org.

MEET THE AUTHORS, WATCH VIDEOS AND MORE AT

SimonandSchuster.com

THE SOURCE FOR READING GROUPS

COVER DESIGN BY MATTHEW PAGE
COVER PHOTOGRAPH COURTESY OF THE AUTHOR

the book of
mormon girl

a memoir of an american faith

joanna brooks

Reading Group Guide

TOPICS AND QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

1. What did you learn about Mormonism from this book? What assumptions or stereotypes about Mormons did you have before reading? How did this book cause you to reflect on your assumptions? What surprised you? What new insights did you gain? What questions do you now have about the faith?

2. Joanna describes how as a young girl, her religion’s rules made her feel special, like “a root beer among the Coca-Colas.” Were there things in your childhood that separated you from your peers? How did it feel to be different? Did you enjoy the feeling of being unique?

3. Marie Osmond was an important figure in Joanna’s childhood because she was one of the very few celebrities from a similar background. Who were your celebrity role models growing up, and why?

4. When you were a child, how did you think about faith? How have your ideas or beliefs changed over time? Do you have a faith or spiritual practice now? How does it guide you?

5. When young Mormon men turn twelve years old, they are ordained into the lower ranks of the Latter-day
Saints (or, LDS) Church’s lay priesthood. There is no comparable religious coming-of-age ceremony for young Mormon women, and Joanna remembers that when she got her first period—another coming-of-age moment—her grandmother told her it was a “curse.” What coming-of-age rituals mark the entrance of girls into adulthood in American culture? Does your religion or culture have customs that honor this transition? How do coming-of-age rituals shape the way young women view themselves?

6. In the chapter on object lessons, Joanna describes sitting in a classroom with other young women and passing a rose around the room for each member of the circle to handle. At the end, when the rose is ruined after being handled by so many people, the young women are told that the rose was like their virtue; nobody would ever want that used flower. What kind of lessons did you hear about sexuality growing up? If you could, what would you say to your sixteen-year-old selves about sex?

7. In 1993, six members of the LDS Church were excommunicated. They were feminists and intellectuals who had written or spoken about controversial subjects. After this action by the Church, Joanna stepped away from the Mormon community for several years. Why do you think she took this step? Have you ever been in a situation
where something you believed in took an action you disagreed with? How did you respond?

8. Joanna relates that she did not share most of her internal turmoil about her faith with her parents. She writes, “Perhaps I wanted to protect them from shame. Perhaps I wanted to protect myself from feeling the brunt of their shame.” Are there elements of your life you were not or still are not able to share with your parents? Why?

9. Did your religion play a role in your selection of spouse? Did you marry within your faith? Outside your faith? How has your marriage shaped your relationship to your religion?

10. At several different points in her story, Joanna describes acts of kindness and understanding by friends, acquaintances, and strangers who made a difference to her as she struggled to find her way. Who stood out to you in the story as a mentor or guide? Who do you turn to in your life when you need spiritual advice?

11. The stories of her Mormon pioneer grandmothers give Joanna strength and inspiration for her journey, especially in the Pioneer Day chapter when she returns to church. Do you know your family history? Have you
traced your genealogy? What kinds of family stories do you draw inspiration from?

12. At the height of the Proposition 8 campaign, Joanna destroyed some campaign materials she found inside the Mormon church building where she had attended church as a child. What do you think motivated her? Was this a courageous or a cowardly act? What would you have done?

13. Joanna and her husband are raising their children in two faiths—Mormonism and Judaism. She describes how everyone in the family “knows how to pray in at least two languages.” What languages exist in your family? Do you have cultural and spiritual traditions that are unique?

14. Joanna describes her dream of a more welcoming Mormonism where everyone has a place at the table. Is anyone excluded from the table in your faith community, culture, neighborhood, or family? What would it take to bring them in? What might your community lose, and what could it gain?

ENHANCE YOUR BOOK CLUB

While
The Book of Mormon Girl
is an extremely personal story, Joanna Brooks is also a public speaker who regularly gives talks and lectures about her views. Go to YouTube and watch some clips of her speaking in different public forums. What kind of added insight do you have from listening to her speak?

One purpose of this memoir is to address misunderstandings about Mormonism by creating a more humane and three-dimensional picture of Mormon life and culture. You can continue to learn about a diverse range of Mormon people by viewing self-created profiles at the LDS Church’s Mormon.org website and the independent Mormon Women Project site (
Mormonwomen.com
). On YouTube, you can also see the “It Gets Better at Brigham Young University” video made by and for young gay Mormons.

Throughout the book, Joanna talks about insights that she wishes she could share with her younger self. Is there someone in your life for whom you could be a mentor?

Food plays an important cultural role in Joanna’s home. Try making some of the Pioneer Day recipes she describes and serve them to the rest of the group. Joanna and her friends sometimes hold Mormon Desserts parties celebrating the kinds of desserts they remember eating as children at church parties: most included lots of Jell-O and Cool Whip!
Here’s a classic Joanna’s friend Chelsea in Salt Lake City brought to a Mormon Desserts party:

Strawberry Pretzel Jell-O Dessert

2 cups crushed pretzels

3 T sugar

¹
/
₂
cup butter, melted

one 8 oz. package of cream cheese, softened

³
/
₄
cup sugar

one (8 oz.) carton Cool Whip

one (6 oz.) package strawberry Jell-O

2 cups boiling water

one (20 oz.) package frozen strawberries (use fresh if in season)

Combine and press pretzels, sugar, and butter into a 9” × 13”–pan. Bake at 400 degrees for 8 to 10 minutes. Allow crust to cool. Blend cream cheese, sugar, and Cool Whip. Spread on crust. Mix together Jell-O, water, and strawberries. Spread on top of Cool Whip blend. Refrigerate overnight if possible.

A CONVERSATION WITH THE AUTHOR

What are the questions you get asked the most about being a Mormon? What are the biggest misconceptions that you wanted to rectify with this book?

From its beginnings in the 1830s, Mormonism has always attracted attention, curiosity, and misunderstanding. During the late-nineteenth century especially, Mormons were depicted in American newspapers and political cartoons as a dangerous and murderous polygamous sect. Some of those images persist in the American imagination to this day. One of the ways Mormons have coped with a broad misunderstanding of our faith is to try to project an image of ourselves as being perfectly All-American, with big, monogamous, hard-working, happy families. Think of the Osmonds! Think of Mitt and Ann Romney and their five sons! The truth of who we are lies somewhere between the extremes. Mormons take pride in our distinctive history and comfort in our faith. But we too are regular human beings who struggle with ordinary life challenges. We live in every state in the United States and country around the world. And there is growing diversity within the faith. Not all of us look, think, feel, or believe the same way, even as we all belong to the Mormon tradition.

You describe a wariness in the Mormon community to share too much with the outside world. How did it feel to share your story with your friends and family? Were you surprised by any of the reactions they had?

Lots of Mormons are wary about sharing tender or private elements of our faith with non-Mormons. There’s a general fear that what we consider tender and meaningful will be ridiculed by strangers; ridicule has long been a part of Mormon experience. There are also controversial elements of Mormon history, like polygamy or the historic ban on priesthood ordination for people of African descent, that Mormons ourselves feel embarrassed by or deeply ambivalent about. It’s not easy to talk about these subjects even in our own communities, let alone with people who don’t belong to the faith—and yet so much media attention focuses on these hot-buttons! Over the last year or two, as public interest in Mormonism has grown, I’ve written a great deal about Mormonism for the public and appeared on radio and television. I have always tried to speak candidly and humanely about my faith. My experience has been that if one approaches sensitive topics with dignity, humanity, candor, and even a bit of humor, it bridges misunderstandings and humanizes all participants in the conversation. I’d say good experiences outnumber ridicule by a ten-to-one margin.

As for my family and friends, I always say that no one asks to have a writer in the family. The LDS community tends to be quite conservative, so I know that my willingness to share my story has brought some pressure upon my family. I also know for a fact that my mother reads every word I publish, and yet though she and I talk frequently, we never really talk about my writing—not even this book! I hope that she and all the good Mormon people I grew up with can see in these pages my fondness for all they taught me and the memories they created. My church youth leaders especially gave of themselves so generously; it wasn’t easy teaching young people about doctrine or sexual morality or even camping! But they did, and I am grateful. I should also say that the Mormon congregation I belong to now is very kind and accepting of me and my family, and I am grateful for them as well.