The Christmas Ball (3 page)

“But didn’t they fear you’d be injured?”

She shook her head. “It was no more grueling than what my brothers and me already did around the farm. My mother did all the cooking and most of the cleaning. I worked alongside the boys.”

Understanding dawned. So that was how Sara had come to this point. “But how’d you end up in the army?”

“While I was working at the canal, a Union recruiter tried to get all of us to sign up. He told us we could make more money in the army. So, I took a gamble no one would realize I was a woman and signed up.”

“Just like that.” His lips twitched at her matter-of-fact attitude. “Hard work is one thing, but to sign up as a soldier.”

She shrugged again. Although she appeared small and frail in her uniform, he was sure she’d developed muscles on the farm and working as a male, otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to hide her sex.

She rose, rubbing her hands over her arms. “You won’t tell on me, will you? My parents depend on the money I send home.”

He sighed. “Not if you don’t want me to, but I don’t think this is a wise idea. You could serve just as well as a civilian nurse.”

She shook her head. “I wouldn’t make near enough money, and I like being a soldier.”

He rose and settled his hand on her shoulder. “I won’t betray your trust, Sara...er, Miss Brewster. I promise.”

Her sharp intake of breath sent his gaze to her face. Her full lips parted and a blush colored her cheeks. He ran his hand down her arm and took her hand. It was work-roughened, the nails broken, but small, making her seem vulnerable and frail. She’d had a hard life by her reckoning. He wanted to do something for her, to help lighten her workload.

To his surprise, she lifted his hand to her face and kissed the back of it. The softness of her lips on his knuckles sent a shiver through him.

“Miss Brewster,” he said. “This isn’t a good idea.”

She drew in a deep breath. “Doc Ellison, I’ve longed to do this ever since I first set eyes on you.”

She reached up and circled his nape with her hands, drawing his face to hers. Standing on her toes, she kissed him.

He stiffened for a moment. This wasn’t right. But her sweet lips on his, sent his own tingling and he couldn’t resist her no matter how hard he tried. He wrapped his arms around her back, drawing her close.

She murmured in satisfaction, her moans urging him on. He deepened the kiss, pressing his body against hers. Her lips parted to give him complete access to the velvety inside of her mouth.

He hardened in response to the softness and scent of her body. His impulse was to undress her, so he could feast on her woman’s body under the male clothing. His breath hitched and he pulled away a bit.

She reeled, her eyes opened wide. Apparently she’d been as affected by the kiss as he. He reached out to steady her, then his fingers grazed the buttons of her sack coat. She stood stock still, as he slowly loosened each button, then slid the coat over her slim shoulders. She shrugged out of it and let the garment drop to the ground behind her.

Of their own accord, his fingers reached for the buttons of her shirt.

****

Sara closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Doc Ellison’s kiss had scattered her senses. For months she’d dreamed of being in his arms. As he reached for the buttons on her shirt, her breath caught. His hands on her body thrilled her. She’d never felt like this before.

After loosening the buttons, he opened the shirt and gazed at her bosom.

She studied him, wondering what he was thinking. Did he like what he saw?

He dropped his hands and half-turned away.

“Please,” she gasped. “Don’t stop.”

Turning back, his gaze roved over her. She tried to read his expression. Was that desire she saw, or disgust?

“We should be going now,” he said. His gaze dropped to the hay strewn ground.

“No!” Boldly she reached out and fingered the buttons of his coat. He didn’t move as she slowly undid them and parted the material. Her fingers tingled as they brushed over his shirt, feeling hardened muscle beneath.

His breath hitched, but he gently pushed her away. “Miss Brewster, we mustn’t...”

“Doc!” A shout from outside, startled her. She jerked away from the doctor and scanned the barn opening.

“Yes,” Ellison called. He eyed her. “You’d best go.”

She nodded, hurriedly fastening her buttons. One of the other stewards approached. His dark eyes slid from her to the doctor. “They don’t need me in the hospital tent, and told me to come on over and give you a hand.”

Ellison glanced at Sara. “We’re about finished here. I was on my way back.”

“All right, Doc,” the soldier said. “I’ll head back with you.”

She swallowed, not sure she could find her voice. “Ah... I’m off duty, so I reckon I’ll head back to my tent.”

Ellison reached up and gave her shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She caught his gaze, trying to gauge his thoughts. Would he have allowed her to undress him if they hadn’t been interrupted?

“Goodnight, Private,” he said.

“Goodnight, Doc.”

At the barn entrance, Doc handed her the lantern. “You’ll need this to see your way back.”

She gazed at the sky. The moon was full and bright. She’d have no trouble finding her way. “I’ll be fine, Doc. You take it.”

He eyed her. “You’re sure?”

“I can find my way with my eyes closed. Goodnight,” she said again, while nodding to the steward.

As she made her way weaving around fire pits, she shoved her hands in her pockets, her brogans crunching against the hardened soil. Did Doc Ellison really care for her or had they just given in to lust now he knew she was a woman?

She wanted to know how he truly felt.

Chapter Four

Once off duty for the night, Kirk declined an offer by one of his colleagues who’d suggested they have a drink by the open fire outside the tent.

“I just wouldn’t be much company tonight,” he apologized.

“Sleep well then.” The older doctor took his leave.

Kirk retreated to his bunk at the rear of the hospital tent. He often slept there, partitioning off a space for privacy, so he’d be available if a patient needed him during the night. A few stewards were also on duty to attend any minor needs of the men while he slept.

The scent of wood smoke, drifting in from outside, helped mask the smell of disinfectants and blood. Now that the battle was over, he should have no new casualties coming in, only men who succumbed to illness.

He undressed down to his shirt and trousers, loosening his braces. He had to be presentable if he did get a summons during the night.

Laying his head on his pillow, he sighed his frustration. How had he allowed things to go that far with Miss Brewster? And furthermore, he had to stop thinking of her as Miss Brewster. She was Private George Brewster. He’d sworn to keep her secret and wouldn’t go back on his word. But every time he saw her now, her lips and sweet scent enticed him.

The other problem was, how could he protect her if she insisted on posing as a man, a soldier?

His mind drifted back over the orders he’d received this morning. He was to report to Washington D.C. next week to serve as a surgeon in a military hospital.

He rolled onto his stomach and punched a hand into his pillow. It would solve his dilemma by taking him out of reach of Miss Brewster, but now he knew she was a woman, how could he go without knowing what would become of her?

He shifted to his back and threw his arm over his eyes. He rearranged his body on the narrow cot, so he lie on his side. Pushing his face into his pillow, he decided to wait until morning before he came to a final decision concerning Miss Brewster.

****

Sara reported for hospital duty early the next morning, wondering how Dr. Ellison would act around her. Would he acknowledge that he loved and cared for her, or pretend it hadn’t happened? Her hands trembled and her breath hitched as she considered the possibilities.

In the tent, she weaved her way past the cots to find Dr. Ellison attending one of the wounded men. He glanced up at her approach, but his face betrayed nothing. He nodded a greeting as he did every day.

“Reporting for duty, sir,” she said.

Ellison inclined his head toward the patient he was treating. “If you could get me a fresh roll, Brewster...this man bled through his bandage. I need to clean the wound and wrap it again.”

“Yes, sir.” Sidling between cots to the storage table, she located a fresh roll of bandages. Moving back, she handed the roll to Ellison and glanced at the patient. His dark beard jutted up and his eyes were closed, but she recognized the man as Joseph Stauffer. He served in her company.

“Will he be all right, Doc?”

Ellison glanced down at her. “I hope so. We just need to keep the wound from developing an infection.”

She glanced at the doctor’s hands as he cut away the bloodied bandage. Memories of last night when he’d held her flashed back. She sucked in her breath, trying to forget, but her pulse raced, nonetheless, at the thought of those hands touching her breasts.

When she glanced up at Dr. Ellison’s face, she found his eyes narrowed, studying her. “When I’m finished here, we need to talk...in private.”

She nodded, but said nothing. What did he want to talk to her about? Was he going to tell her they had to avoid each other from here on in? Or did he plan to declare his true feelings now that he knew she was a woman? Her heart raced as all manner of reasons for his request jumbled her thoughts. If only he cared for her...

An older doctor, as well as two stewards and a female volunteer entered the tent as Dr. Ellison finished re-bandaging the wound. Sara disposed of the soiled bandage and bloody water in the wash pan and met Ellison outside the tent.

“Please, come with me,” he said.

She followed him around the back of the barn they’d inspected last night. Dried up leaves that had steeped into a pile against the barn wall, crunched beneath their brogans. He motioned for her to stand against the wall as he scanned the surrounding area.

“I want to make sure no one is in hearing distance,” he explained.

Her breath caught as she waited to hear what he had to say.

“I received new orders a few days ago.”

She frowned. “What orders?”

“I’m being reassigned to one of the military hospitals in Washington.”

She swallowed hard. “You’re leaving the company?”

“Yes.” He pushed a strand of hair from his forehead.

Her fingers itched to smooth it back. “When do you leave?”

“The end of the week.”

“That soon?” She stared at the leaves beneath her feet, not wanting him to know how much this news affected her.

He tilted her chin up so she’d meet his gaze. “I don’t want to leave you here. Last night when I realized who you really were... I can’t just leave you now.”

She took a deep breath as she gazed into his hazel eyes. He really
did
care. “Reckon you don’t have any choice in the matter.”

“I don’t, but I’d like you to go with me.”

“But...” Her voice wavered. “...how?”

“I’ll put you in for a transfer. You’ve been wounded and they use recovering soldiers as stewards in the military hospitals.”

“You really think they’d allow me to go?” She considered the possibilities.

“I believe it’s quite possible. Hospitals have sprung up all over Washington and they’re dreadfully short-handed because of all the wounded being sent there.”

Sara rubbed her cold hands together. He covered them with his, warming her to her core. “I think I’d like to go,” she said.

Once they’d returned to the hospital tent, she could barely concentrate on her work as she considered the possibility of being in a big city like Washington with Dr. Ellison at her side.

Chapter Five

One week later, Kirk reported for duty to a Washington hospital that had originally been a boarding school. Since the war had started, many buildings, including sanitariums, schools, seminaries, churches and other large structures had been converted to military hospitals to house the war wounded.

He and Sara had traveled by train from Fredericksburg to the nation’s capital. He’d been born and raised in Philadelphia, so was used to city life, but he’d only been to Washington a few times after his sister had married a politician.

Since the war had started, the city had been reformed into a huge base. Military camps surrounded the city to keep the enemy from infiltrating. Cannons, caissons and military wagons, as well as soldiers in blue, patrolled the streets. He supposed it was necessary, since Washington was bordered by hostiles on all sides.

He delighted as his soldier-farm girl marveled at the sight of the unfinished capital building. Huge blocks of marble and granite were strewn about on its grounds. The city didn’t have many sidewalks and only one theater.

Sara was, of course, dressed in uniform as her alias, Private George Brewster. Throughout the long train ride, he’d longed to reach out and take her hand in his, but didn’t dare. He’d studied her profile as she stared out the train windows taking in all the new sights.

Now that he knew she was a woman, the clothes didn’t hide her sex from him, but he wondered what she’d look like in female garb.

Once at the hospital, they were briefed as to accommodations. Doctors, who didn’t have homes in Washington, stayed in the hotel across the street. A few of the volunteer nurses were being housed there as well. The soldiers assigned as stewards stayed in rooms in a boarding house across the street.

Sara was assigned to one of the rooms, but he didn’t like the idea of her sharing a room with men. His sister lived not far from the hospital. Maybe he could make other arrangements for her.

He spent his first day examining the more serious cases. Quite a few of the men who’d suffered injuries to the limbs were candidates for amputation. He liked to reserve that as a last resort. But often gangrene set in and he had no choice.

Eight bunks had been crammed into the converted school room where he made his rounds. Most of the men were unable to get out of bed. They needed care around the clock.