The Davis Years (Indigo) (14 page)

“Yeah. I just asked you that.” Davis could play the asshole game, too. Heck, he’d invented it.

“I love her. I always have. I won’t let anything bad happen to her.”

“What about Stephanie?”

“What about her? She’s my girlfriend, yes. She’s going to be my girlfriend in the future, yes. Maybe even my wife. But that doesn’t mean that I’ll ever get over what I felt for Jemma or that I’ll stop being her friend. And I will certainly never stop caring for her.” Wendell stared him down. “I just want to make sure we’re clear about that.”

“You think you know me so well, Wendell.” Davis shook his head, grinning in disbelief. “You don’t know a thing about me at all.”

“I know you’re worthless.”

“It doesn’t take much to figure that out.”

“If you hurt her, I will hunt you down.”

“I’m not afraid of you, but I’d never hurt her.” Davis watched Jemma squeeze in between Emily Rose and Carolina for a picture. “Again.”

***

Before she left, Jemma found everyone and said her goodbyes. She told Emily Rose, Carolina, and Meg she’d see them the next day. There was going to be a big brunch for everyone before Carolina and Michael headed back to New York on Monday.

Carolina had a dance audition in a few days and Michael had to get back on the job search. He had interviews lined up during the upcoming week. Emily Rose was driving back to New York at the end of the week. They weren’t honeymooning until they both had jobs. They’d planned a trip to Milan at Christmastime because they hoped they would both have jobs by then.

Jemma stood at the edge of the group of women waiting to catch the bouquet. She didn’t want to risk getting close enough to catch it. After watching Michael throw the garter, she found Davis and they left.

Davis stopped at Mary’s so that Jemma could throw some things in an overnight bag and then they went to his house. He started to get out of the car until he noticed that she wasn’t moving. He sat back in his seat and closed the door.

“Hey. What’s wrong?” He leaned over the console and toward her.

“Would you mind if I just wanted you to hold me tonight? The mood . . . kinda gone,” Jemma said while staring out of the windshield at the creamy half moon.

“What kind of crazy question is that? Would I mind. All I want is to be near you, Jemma. To be as close to you as I can for as long as I can.”

He unbuckled her seatbelt. She felt as if he’d released her from all of the dark thoughts weighing her down with his words and that simple gesture.

They walked hand-in-hand to his front door, him carrying her bag. She looked around the foyer, remembering the first time she’d come to that house. She swallowed hard, thinking of that disastrous afternoon before prom. After locking the front door, he led her to his room. The only other time she’d been in that room, things had been completely different between them. It’d been that same afternoon before prom. Standing right there next to his desk, Davis had told her there was no way they could ever work as a couple. And it was still true. But for completely different reasons.

“You change here. I’ll be back in a minute,” Davis said before kissing her neck.

“No. Hold me for a minute first. Real tight. Like you’re afraid to ever let me go,” Jemma said.

Davis did as she asked. He had no idea how she wished it could have been different. Wished that they’d never hurt each other. That others hadn’t hurt them so badly that they didn’t know how to do anything other than damage their own chances at happiness. That there was another way she could fix it all besides going away to Florida. And most of all, she wished that she never had to let go of Davis.

“I’m sorry I ever said all those hurtful things to you back then.” Davis was apparently visiting the same memories that she was.

“What did we say? What have we been saying all along? Nothing exists past or future during our time together, right?”

“I wish I could—I dunno. I want to do something really big and wonderful for you. To show you how much—I mean you made me so happy today. I want every day to be today.”

“The biggest and most wonderful thing you could do for me right now would be to show me the bathroom. ’Cause I really have to go,” Jemma said. She was afraid if she didn’t break the seriousness of the moment, her feelings would suffocate her. He laughed and then told her where to find it and she headed off in that direction. Her head ached with the pressure of unshed tears.

***

Davis shifted his body away from Jemma’s slightly, afraid that if he didn’t, she would know how much he wanted her despite how cool he’d tried to play the situation earlier. She lay on her side and he was curled up behind her. He let her pretend she was asleep because he wasn’t sure what he’d say to her if they acknowledged she was awake.

Man, he could use a cigarette, but he’d decided to quit yet again that morning, knowing Jemma wouldn’t like the idea of him smoking. A drink would have been good also, but he wasn’t sure that’d be a good idea, either. Besides, he didn’t really want to leave his bed as long as Jemma was in it. Being so close to her warm, soft body after dreaming about it for six long years was a sweet kind of torture.

He moved his hand from her shoulder and smoothed it over her braids, then let the backs of his fingers rest against her cheek. He thought he heard her breathing quicken, but there was no other sign of movement from her. She still wanted to feign sleep. Fine with him.

He wondered exactly what Wendell had said to her, but she hadn’t wanted to talk about it. Wendell might have been smarter and more successful than him, but the guy was still a jerk. He hated the idea of anyone making her feel badly. He wanted to protect her from anything and anyone who would hurt her, including himself. She had such a good heart no matter what all had happened. He’d been one of the people to break that good heart all those years ago. And Wendell rehashing the past she obviously didn’t want to relive angered him. And then the idiot had the nerve to assume he knew what Davis wanted.

When she’d come back to him in the restaurant Friday, there’d been only one answer he could give her. His heart hadn’t let him give any other when it came to spending as much time with her as he possibly could. Still, he was seeing a problem with their so-called arrangement already. He’d never gotten over her. Holding her so close again, burying his face in her hair, remembering the feel and taste of her lips under his made the thought of having to let her go again almost unbearable. Still, couldn’t ask her to stay for him. Knowing all she’d been through, including the stuff he’d put her through, doing that would be stupid and selfish. He had to remember that. She would have probably said no anyway.

She’d asked him earlier about his marriage to Tara. He was over that. It hadn’t taken long because clearly marrying Tara had been a mistake. Most importantly, he’d never really loved her. He’d done it because it’d been easy. She’d been there. They’d dated in high school. She was attractive. Or at least she had been at the time. But Jemma? Thinking about losing her all over again was painful. But it was just another pain he had to endure because the alternative—having her be so close but not being able to see, touch, and feel her—was not an option.

He pressed his face into her neck and draped his arm over her waist. He felt her fingers weave through his. He squeezed them.

Sunday morning, Davis dropped Jemma off at one of Derring’s few hotels on his way to work. The post-wedding brunch was being held at the hotel’s restaurant.

“I’ll pick you up from Mary’s when I get off work?” he said, scratching his jaw.

“Yep.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek, wanting to apologize for the previous night. However, it felt strange to mention the previous night at all. So much had happened, and she was still trying to digest it all.

He started to say something and then closed his mouth.

“What?”

He pressed a hand to her hair, letting it drop to her ear, which he caressed between his thumb and forefinger. “I can’t wait ‘til this evening. That’s all.”

She felt like that wasn’t all, but who was she to push? After all, she’d been the one faking sleep last night because she didn’t want to talk about anything that’d happened. They were both closed books. What a pair they made.

“Me, neither.” She took his hand from her ear and kissed his fingers before letting go. “Okay. I have to go and you do, too.” That didn’t mean she wanted to.

Hopping out of the car, she hurried into the hotel to avoid the light rain that misted from the gray sky.

She looked forward to downing a couple of cups of coffee. She still had her headache from the night before. Thinking over what Wendell had said made her sick with guilt every time she did it, but she couldn’t stop.

Then there was Smooth. She wanted to go see him, to let him know that he hadn’t ruined her life, and that she hoped he rotted in there for what he’d done. But could she look into his face again? In her mind, at least, he was a murderer even if there was no way to convict him for the actions of her mother. If she went to the prison, what would she say to him? She definitely hadn’t figured out that part yet.

She was startled out of her intense thoughts by a tap on her shoulder. She turned around to see Wendell.

“Hi.” She tensed while trying to gauge his mood. She couldn’t deal with any more dysfunction at the moment.

“I’m sorry about last night. I kind of freaked out on you, huh?” he said with a smile.

His words gave her a sense of relief. “It’s okay.”

“Stephanie and I had a fight about it last night and I realized how stupid I was being.” He studied the carpet for a moment before giving her an earnest look. “I want my friend back and I’m going to act like it,” he said. She caught a hint of sadness in his eyes, but she could tell he wanted to hide it from her and she was going to respect that.

“Okay, friend.”

“It really is good to see you again.”

“And I really do promise not to disappear anymore.” They laughed. “Seriously, I’ll keep in touch this time. In fact . . .” She dug one of the business cards she’d had printed up after getting the job offer out of her purse. Handing it to him, she said, “Here.”

He read the card and gave an approving nod. “Assistant director. You really are doing well for yourself, huh?”

“Told you.”

He slipped the card into his pocket. “Tell me more.”

She told him about college, Florida, and her new job. He then told her more about Stephanie, law school, and his life in D.C. They talked until the others showed up.

Emily Rose ran up, throwing an arm around each of them. “Hey, you two. I’m so hungry. Let’s go get some brunch. Where’s Steph, Wendell?” Jemma could hear the rest of the group behind them.

Wendell put his arm around Emily Rose’s shoulders. “We’re staying here. She’s up in the room, married lady. I left her up there getting ready. She’ll probably be down, oh, sometime before tomorrow.”

They laughed.

Michael slid up next to Jemma. She let Wendell and Emily Rose walk into the restaurant ahead of her. Michael looked at her, his brown eyes serious. “You know, we haven’t talked much. I want to thank you for yesterday. And to let you know Em Rose is in good hands. I love her more than anything in the world.”

They stopped walking. Carolina and Meg gave them curious glances, but continued around them to the restaurant.

“After yesterday, who could doubt that?” Jemma said.

Michael chuckled. “I just wanted to say that. Because . . . you haven’t seemed so sure about me since we met.”

So Michael had picked up on that. Between his comments and Carolina’s, Jemma was realizing she wasn’t as good at hiding her feelings as she’d thought she’d been.

“I’ve had a lot on my mind,” Jemma said. She sighed and then added, “Maybe I wasn’t. At first. Sure about you, I mean. I was too quick to judge. You’re a better guy than I gave you credit for. Besides, Emily Rose loves you and that’s all that matters.”

A slow grin spread over his face. “Emily Rose isn’t like any girl I’ve ever met. My grandmother says she’s sunshine and thunderstorms all rolled into one. As strange as that might sound, it makes total sense to me. I like it. Gram’s from the South, too. I think that’s one of the biggest reasons she and Em Rose have bonded so well.”

Jemma nodded. “Em Rose is special.”

Michael held the door to the restaurant open for Jemma. “Yeah, she is. I don’t know what I’d do without her.” The enraptured look on Michael’s face at that moment both warmed and pained Jemma’s heart.

She wanted what Michael and Emily Rose had. And she had no idea how to go about getting it.

“She gets me in a way no one else ever has, Jemma. I don’t have to try to be perfect for her.” Michael made all kinds of wild hand gestures as if trying to make sure Jemma understood exactly how he felt. “She knows me so well. It’s so good to be loved by someone who knows how to live with the flaws. Who knows not to expect the world from you and how to be grateful for what you can give. And who knows that, like the people who give it, love is not perfect.”

Emily Rose skipped over to them and threw her arms around Michael, kissing his cheek. “What are you two talking about back here?”