The Exception to the Rule (21 page)

Chapter 20

August 2010

“Make a wish, Matty,” I said as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake.

I smiled as he took a deep breath and made sure that he got every single one out in one shot.

I had a hard time believing that he was actually five-years-old today. Time was going by much too fast and as exhausting as those diaper and bottle days were, I rather missed having a baby around. I didn’t want to miss out on anything so I tried to savor each and every minute of his childhood. He seemed to be more mature than most kids his age and never lacked in the popularity department, having a different play date or attending a birthday party every weekend. I could tell that he was destined to be a leader just by the way other kids had looked up to him at such an early age. He had a very caring sensitive side that I had hoped he would take with him into adulthood.

I watched as he ran around and played soccer with the other boys at the party, many of whom were patients of mine. He made sure that he was giving all of his guests’ equal attention. I smiled when I saw a little girl run up to him and hug him innocently. I knew that in the years to come he would be beating the girls off with a stick. He was Julian’s clone in every way, with the same jet black hair and the way he carried himself with confidence. He only had one dimple compared to Julian’s two, but the thing that was undeniable was his eyes. I had never seen eyes the color of Julian’s before I met him. I didn’t think that eyes that striking could ever exist on someone else, until Matty came along. This made Julian very hard to forget —I saw him every time I looked at Matty.

 I had forgotten him the best that I could, and realized that I must not have really meant that much to him as I never heard from him again. I was willing to reroute my whole life for him before I found out I was pregnant. Even though I knew he had just obeyed my wishes, I was still a little angry that he did. I felt a little twinge of jealousy when James had returned from a conference in Chicago several years ago and ran into him. Being James and not having a filter on anything that came out of his mouth, he couldn’t wait to tell Tricia and me all about Julian’s bachelor lifestyle. I cringed hearing how on both nights that he saw him he had a different “hot chick” on his arm. Tricia sensed my uneasiness with the topic and tried making a joke by saying it sounded more like a different “booty call.” I laughed even though it hurt to hear it. I knew that what we once had was ancient history. I had been trying to move on with my life the best that I could with working full-time and raising a young child. I had gone out on several dates with different guys, all of whom were nice, but the longest relationship I had since Matty was born lasted for about three months. Even though I knew it would be nice to meet someone and settle down, it just wasn’t at the top of my priorities. I rather liked the idea of going out to dinner and a movie with someone and afterwards have them go home to their house and I to mine.

 Tricia was on me to go out on a date with Dr. Patrick McGinn, one of the doctors in James’ practice. He was a really nice guy and great with Matty. We spent a lot of time together over the summer going to the beach, but it was always with James, Tricia and Matty coming along as well. I had never been on an official one on one date with him. The extent of our relationship was phone calls and emails. I talked to him at least once a week and found that he could always make me laugh. Every time we planned on getting together for a drink, something would always come up on either end. The problem was that I viewed him as a friend; I just didn’t feel that same spark that I had with Julian. I would probably never feel that again with anyone, but I remained hopeful. I knew that part of it was that I just wasn’t ready to let anyone else into mine or Matty’s world just yet. Matty surely wasn’t lacking in the father figure department; Charles, who he referred to as “Pop,” was always around. Charles had decided to retire a year after Matty was born so he could spend more time with him. They were inseparable; he loved teaching Matty how to fish, taking him to baseball games and even golfing, which, to my surprise, Matty loved. I was happy knowing that he was the same type of grandfather to him that my dad would have been. 

Another surprisingly important male figure was James. He had been coming around a lot more since he and Tricia had become exclusive and now engaged. He and Matty were like best buds and I sometimes wondered if it was because they were at the same level of maturity. 

Claire and Tricia had been my rock since Matty was born. Claire was the perfect grandma and Tricia the perfect aunt. I realized over these past five years that family is not all about blood. Family is who is there for you the most, and this group of people in my life had proven that they would be there time and time again.

The last of Matty’s guests were leaving as we walked them to the door. Matty ran back to the couch, sitting in between Charles and James looking like he was coming down from a sugar high. Claire and I were wrapping up the leftover food and cleaning up as Tricia sat at the kitchen table fumbling through bridal magazines.

“Don’t you think you should set a date first?” I teased. They had been engaged for a year now with no sign of a wedding date. She said that she wanted to take things slowly. I teased her that if she took it any slower she would be moving backwards. I knew that she loved James and did want to marry him, but she was so set in her ways. She loved that she still had her own place and he had his and she was afraid of making that change. I fully understood where she was coming from but I loved to tease her every now and then about it.

She looked at me and rolled her eyes. “Come on, Kat, I’m trying to break a record—don’t you want to be the world’s oldest maid of honor?” She laughed and I smacked her lightly with the dish towel, laughing back.

Matty walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge. “Where are you going with that?” I asked.

“Uncle James wanted it,” he said in his gruff little voice, as he ran off to the other room.

“He’s such a good role model, and you wonder why I haven’t set the date yet,” Tricia said sarcastically as Claire and I laughed. 

Matty made his way back into the kitchen and looked up at me. “Mommy, can Gracie sleep over?” he asked batting his long eyelashes.

Gracie was a Golden Retriever that Charles and Claire had adopted last year when Matty had become relentless about wanting a dog. I was adamant about not having pets, because I knew that I didn’t have the time that was required to take care of one. Charles and Claire, who were unable to see Matty heartbroken, went to the shelter and picked out Gracie. She was Matty’s dog but lived at their house. To my dismay, I was slowly getting joint custody of her as she was beginning to have more overnight visits than I cared for. I looked down at his adorable face, unable to say no to him.

“Okay, since tomorrow is Sunday and today is your birthday,” I said, trying to let him know this wasn’t going to become a habit.

“Yes,” he said triumphantly as he ran off to tell Charles and James the news.

It was getting late and everyone had left. Matty was asleep on the couch with Gracie lying on his feet. I didn’t have the heart to shoo her off, they had both looked so adorable sleeping there together. I decided to fill out the barrage of school paperwork that had come in the mail weeks ago and I had been ignoring. I was having a hard time believing that in a week Matty would be in kindergarten. Once I got started I zipped through the forms. I felt a little sad not being able to put down any contact for the father’s info, making me realize that the day would come when Matty would want to know about his dad. I wasn’t prepared for that just yet and for now he was content that his dad was some great doctor who was traveling around the world saving people. 

I filled out so many papers that my hand was going numb. I was so happy to put my final signature on the last one. I looked at the clock realizing it was after eleven. Tomorrow was the last Sunday in August; the beach days were dwindling and I had planned to spend the entire day at the beach with Matty.

I walked over to the couch and picked Matty up to take him into his bedroom. I hadn’t realized just how heavy he had gotten in the past few months. I tucked him in his bed as he mumbled something in his sleep and then kissed him goodnight. Gracie was right under foot, jumping up on his bed assuming the same position that she had on the couch. I turned on his night light, closing his door half shut behind me. 

I could tell that it was going to be a beautiful day as I awoke to the sun streaming in through the blinds on my window. As if that weren’t enough, I heard Matty in the kitchen clanging dishes. I hurried to get myself out of bed to see what mess awaited me. I had just sat up when he came walking in my room with Gracie right behind him. He had an oversized bowl of cereal that I would normally cook a side dish in. He slowly made his way to my bed, being careful not to spill any before placing it down on my nightstand. He was smiling as if he was so proud of himself. 

“Is this for me?” I asked in a tone that let him know I was equally proud of him being so thoughtful.

He nodded, unable to wipe the smile from his face.

“Wow, this looks delicious!” I said looking at the bowl of cereal. I looked back at him, standing alongside my bed. He looked so adorable in his Sponge Bob pajamas. I tapped my hand on the bed signaling for him to climb up. He effortlessly made his way up on the bed, crawling under the covers with me. I pulled him closer, squeezing him tightly, and kissed him on his strawberry-shampoo-scented head. 

“I love you,” I said, slapping another kiss on his head.

“I love you more,” he said in a silly voice.

“Nope, I love you more.” I tickled him as he began his deep belly laugh which I loved so much.

I stopped tickling him, letting him get his breath. “Are you ready for the beach?” I asked.

“Yup,” he said eagerly. He jumped out of bed as I followed him out of the room taking my monstroussized cereal bowl with me.

It was a perfect beach day—not one cloud in the sky, with a comfortable breeze coming from the ocean, and it was already packed. We had arrived a little bit later than I had wished. We had to drop Gracie off at Charles and Claire’s. Matty always made such a production whenever he had to leave her, acting like he would never see her again. I finally hurried him along, assuring him that Gracie wasn’t going anywhere.

We spent the day looking for seashells and playing in the sand. I was so happy that Matty loved the beach as much as I did. This had become our Sunday tradition in the summer. We finally took a break placing both of our chairs by the water.

“How many fish are in that ocean?” Matty asked as he stared out into the water.

“Lots.” I smiled at his inquisitiveness.

“When I get bigger I’m going to build a great big house for me and you right on the beach,” he said, squinting to keep the sun out of his eyes.

“That would be wonderful.” My heart melted at how much I loved this sweet little boy. 

 The position of the sun was beginning to change, as well as the tide. I knew that it was getting later. I pulled my cell phone from my purse to check the time and it was close to four. We were both hungry and I could tell the sun had worn Matty out. We packed up our belongings, as Matty, always trying to be the gentlemen, carried both chairs. I allowed him to carry them for a bit before taking them from him as I watched him struggle.

We stopped off at what had been my dad’s favorite diner to grab dinner, both having burgers, with Matty eating more fries than anything. He said that he was full but immediately found room for his ice cream sundae that he ordered. He shared my same love of chocolate and sweets. I opted to skip desert knowing that he would never eat all of his and I would finish it.

The waitress brought Matty his sundae. She was the same waitress who had been working here for years and had known my father very well. She had a soft spot in her heart for Matty, knowing that he was my dad’s grandson.

“Oh my goodness Matty, are you going to be able to eat all of that?” she asked, placing his sundae in front of him. He nodded, grinning from ear to ear, flashing his dimple and batting his long dark eyelashes at her. “Well, he certainly is going to make the girls melt when he gets older,” she said, smiling back at him.

 I watched as he prepared to eat his ice cream removing the cherry right away, sticking his spoon past the whipped cream and going right for the hot fudge, getting more of it on his face than in his mouth. I shook my head at him and laughed, amazed at how something as simple as watching him eat ice cream gave me such great joy. 

We arrived home and I immediately got Matty’s bath ready. He liked to prove that he was a big kid by giving himself baths, which I always heavily supervised, usually going over him again with soap and a washcloth. But tonight, even though he protested, I was giving him one, wanting to wash his hair thoroughly since he had half the sand from the beach in it. I shampooed his hair twice, scrubbing until I couldn’t feel any more sand while he played with his action figures, making them swim about in the water. I interrupted him from his play, making him stand up so I could wash his body down thoroughly. As I washed his face he stuck out his tongue and I grabbed it with the washcloth, making him giggle. 

“Let me get that dirty old neck,” I said, getting every crack and crevice. As I moved the washcloth back and forth I felt a large lump on his left gland. I took the washcloth away to feel it with my fingers; he seemed unfazed as I touched it. I felt around the rest of his neck, not feeling anything else. I had an uneasy feeling as I moved my finger over it once again. I quickly rinsed him off and wrapped him in a towel as he dried himself off. I powdered him down with baby powder and helped him get into his pajamas.

 He lay on my bed watching cartoons while I jumped into the shower. There was nothing quite as good as an “after a day at the beach” shower as you washed all the sand and salt away. I took my time letting the water absorb into my skin. I finally turned off the water before I went into a shower coma. I put on my pajamas and ran the blow dryer quickly through my hair, throwing it back in a loose ponytail. It had just occurred to me how tired I was as I walked down the hallway to my bedroom. I was happy to know that I didn’t have to be at work until later tomorrow so I didn’t have to wake to the sound of the dreaded alarm clock. I entered my room with Matty’s cartoons blasting on my TV while he was sound asleep in my bed. I changed the channel to something more to my liking and turned off the lights. I crawled under the covers, cuddling him as I listened to him breathe. I kissed him on the back of the head. This was what I existed for; what I wanted my whole life. To have someone whom I loved more than anything in this world and who loved me back unconditionally. My most important role in life was being Matty’s mom. I felt very blessed.