The Gramm Curse (The Night Watchmen Series) (6 page)

NO MATTER HOW FAST
I
drive, I can’t out-run my demons. I can’t out-run my past. Everything is crumbling down around me, slipping through my fingers. My mother’s face and her words slowly chisel away at the lies I’ve surrounded myself in, the lies that have kept me from opening my heart. But she’s not here to give me advice. She’s not here to stop me from facing the truth that no matter how much I pretend to be okay with sacrificing myself, I’m not.

Because the truth is, I don’t want to die.

I stop at the nearest bar and put the car in park. Red lights glare over the hood of my truck as I grip the steering wheel, searching for a viable release.

What are you doing here?
I hate drinking. I learned my lesson the night Weldon saved my ass from the forest behind the Academy from a pack of Werewolves.

Hadn’t I?

It wasn’t all that long ago, yet it feels like a lifetime ago. Jezi and I had gotten into an argument that quickly turned into a pretty big fight during our first year at the Academy. It drew everyone’s attention during a party in the Hunters’ dorm. Stupidly, I went for a jog to try and run off the alcohol, the embarrassment, and the anger.

It was a wrong choice, a bad choice based off of emotion. These emotions need to remain contained, shoved deep in the back part of my mind, so I can lock it down…keep it cut off from me. I was so focused
on that, I never even knew what hit me. I’d gone from sweat rolling down into my eyes, to looking up at Weldon as he struggled to pull me free from the iron-jawed grip of a Werewolf intent on dragging me back to its den.

Waking up seconds from death has a way of realigning your complete thought process. The thought of drinking paralleled the line of death for me. After that, I swore to myself, and to Weldon, I’d never drink again. I swore I’d never lose control over myself, and that was the moment we became friends.

But even friendship can’t fix what’s broken inside of me.

The Hunter in me kicks into gear. If I can put all of this emotion, everything that’s threatening to break me down, into one successful hunt, then I know I’ll feel better. I’ll be back in control.

Around the side of a building, I sense a Vampire, most likely with a victim; an easy kill. I’m too far from Jezi to use my power. That’s the shitty disadvantage of being chained down by an affinity bond. We can’t use our powers unless we’re together. The choking, suffocating feeling always surfaces when miles are placed between us, but I tuck the feeling away, just like I tuck everything else away.

With a huff, I lean to the side and open the glove box. A stake rolls out. My hand wraps around the
coarse wood. I shouldn’t try this alone. I shouldn’t risk it when I have no powers and could be spotted, or possibly worse…killed. But the rage inside of me won’t let up. It seeks release, and that only ever comes in the form of ending the very same thing that makes me what I am.

I hop out, holding the stake by my side, and make my way toward the side of the building. I can’t shield myself from the Vampire, not without my volation, so if it isn’t feeding, then it will be able to detect me. I crouch behind a car and take small steps around the side so I can get a better picture. The Vamp is a female. She has a man pressed up against the wall with her fangs sunk deep into his neck. He doesn’t look the least bit scared. She’s either compelled him, or he’s a Feeder.

Either way, she’s going to die.

I shut my eyes and take in a deep breath. I rush the rest of the way across the parking lot, trying to be as quiet as possible, with my stake raised and ready. I’m about to strike when the man’s eyes flash open. The
Vampiress spins around and lunges for me, her claws and fangs bared. I jump back to the side and aim the stake, but the man grabs me by the arm, trying to stop me. I struggle with him and manage to shove him off, but I drop the stake when the Vampiress latches onto my shoulders, digging her claws deep into my flesh. Poison enters my system, slowing my thought process. She spins me around with the intention of biting me. I know this because it’s what they all do. They can’t help it. They have to taste everything.

I pull my flux out and stab just as she leans toward my neck. She screams out in anger, and I rush for the stake on the ground, but the man has already picked it up. He’s standing against the wall with it, eyes wide in fear, hands shaking uncontrollably.

“What the hell, man!” I shout. “Give me the damn thing. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“But you want to hurt her,” he says, his eyes flashing briefly towards the
Vampiress.

I exhale loudly, rolling my eyes to the sky. “Duh. She’s a freaking Vamp.”

“She’s more than that!” he shouts, the veins in his neck bulging.

The metal clang of my flux hitting the ground sounds behind me. She’s advancing on me. This shit would’ve been over already had I been in power. I can’t hurt the human, but I need my stake. I groan and lunge for him. He cringes against the wall. I slam into him, grabbing my stake, and spin just in time to sink it deep into the
Vampiress’ heart. She bursts into purple flames and disappears into ash, carried off by the night breeze.

When I turn back, the man huddles on the ground covering his head. “Get up,” I say firmly, disgustedly. The man stands, his entire body shaking now. He has so much Vampiric venom in his system he can’t think straight.

“Hey!” a familiar voice calls out behind me. I turn. It’s Russell Middleton. “That was our kill,” he points out, though there isn’t the slightest bit of threat in his tone. Mary walks up behind him, both of them blending in with the shadows.

“Need me to spell him?” Mary asks, brushing her light brown hair over her shoulder. I nod. She walks past me with a kind smile and works her magic.

Russell follows me as I walk back toward my truck. “What are you doing out here without your Witch? And in my area, no less,” he asks, gripping my shoulder. He’s my height with sandy blonde hair and hazel-colored eyes.

“Looking for a hunt,” I admit. “It’s been a very long night. I thought it would take my mind off things.”

“I can understand that,” he says with a chuckle. “You okay?”

I nod, looking into the dark window of the bar.

“If you ever need to talk, you can always come to us. I have a daughter near your age. I may not be completely hip, but I do know some things. It doesn’t always have to be about Watchmen business.”

I glance over at him and offer what I think is a convincing smile. I can’t tell because the way he smiles back is somewhat sad, like he sees through it all, like he sees every broken part of me.

“Thanks,” I say, “but I should probably get going.”

He nods and lets my shoulder go.

THE NEXT MORNING, I WAK
E
to the vibration of my phone in my pocket. I pull it out and open one eye to peek at it. It’s Gavin. I groan and let it go to voicemail. It rings again and again and again, and I know if I don’t answer, then he will show up here, and the last thing I want is to see him.

“What?”

“Good morning to you too, sunshine,” he croons into the phone.

A chisel grinds against the back of my head. “What?” I ask again, this time more desperately.

“Have a rough night at the bar? Russell called. He filled me in on your cahoots with the Vamp. What the hell were you thinking?”

“Look, I appreciate the brotherly concern, but I’m not in the mood for a lecture. I’ll talk to you-”

“Mack called. Are you in the mood for that?” he asks, knowing he has my attention now. I can almost see the smile spreading across his face. “We have a new assignment tonight.”

“And?” I ask as my heart slows.

“And he said you need to meet him in his office. He’s going to explain it to you.”

“If this is about the damn Witch, you can-”

The phone goes dead. He hung up on me. I grip it, ready to throw it across the room, but stop myself. Instead, I slam my hand against my bed, dropping the damn phone. He’s such an…such an assmonkey. All of them. They’re all assmonkeys.

After showering and downing a bottle of water and two aspirins, a knock sounds at my door. My skin itches with the power it had missed. Jezi’s here. “Come in,” I shout across the room.

She doesn’t waste a second. “Gavin said we have to meet with Mack.”

“Don’t act like you don’t already know what it’s about,” I say as I finish drying my hair with the towel and toss it across the room into my hamper. I reach for the black shirt laid out on my bed and pull it over my head.

“I don’t, honestly.”

I grab my boots by the end of my bed and sit to slide them on. She stands in front of me, smelling of magic and perfume. When I tie the last lace, I look up at her. Her chocolate hair is pulled back in a tight, high ponytail. She looks fierce, like she always does. A small bit of attraction stirs somewhere deep inside of me, but I push it far away.

“It doesn’t matter either way,” I say quickly. “With Mack involved, it’s out of our hands.”

“I won’t agree to it if you don’t want me to.” The sincerity in her eyes twists a knot in my stomach. I inhale deeply and look away from her. Feeling like a jerk is a constant when it comes to Jezi. She tries so hard and, at some point, I need to bend.

I take a small breath and say, “No, it’s fine.” I don’t know why, but a sudden, irresistible urge comes over me and I reach for her hand. She almost jumps when I touch her, and it makes me feel ten times worse.

I c
an be her friend without running the risk of cursing her, right?

She peers down at my hand, and the hope that stirs in her eyes brings a light feeling to my chest, something that has never happened before. Slowly, she sits next to me, still clutching to my hand. Her eyes search mine, somehow deepening in color. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to be upset with me.” Her voice is like a soft caress.

I nod. I find myself wanting to be closer to her…wanting to…to touch her, and I don’t know why. I don’t know where this urge is coming from. My brain feels like a rattled mess.

I c
an touch her without cursing her, right?

I lift my hand, and her eyes close. She wants my touch, wants the small bit of affection I have denied her for so long. I rest my hand against her cheek, and she softly leans into it. Her skin is so warm, so soft. Desire stirs deep inside me. Thoughts I’ve never had of her before move around my mind. Visions I know can’t be my own flitter behind my lids.

I yank my hand away and stand up. No.

“Jaxen, it’s okay. I want this. Just let me show you. Let me guide you.” She’s scooting closer to me, intoxicating me with her magic and her scent and her words.

“But I don’t want this,” I rush out. I immediately regret saying it when she flinches. “No, I don’t mean it like that,” I say, backpedaling, “I just mean, we can’t. It would lead to-”

“To something I want,” she says too desperately. She stands, meeting my gaze, and grabs the back of my head. Before I can stop her, her lips close on mine. My immediate instinct is to push her off, but she’s using magic to hold me close; to match my strength. She’s using magic to manipulate me.

Her soft lips slide over mine, and the lust locked away inside of me roars to life. She slides her tongue in my mouth, and all I can think about is exploring her body. Every inch. It’s mine for the taking.

“So take it,”
she whispers in my mind.

My hands formed into fists at her sides, slowly open to grip her small waist. I can’t think straight. She pushes herself against me, building the heat between us. Her teeth knick my bottom lip as her hand slides into my hair and tugs hard.

The sharp, sudden pain jerks me back to the present. I need to get a grip. This isn’t right. Something isn’t right. Sex is more than a lay to me. She is more than a lay, and what’s between us doesn’t feel whole. It doesn’t feel completely right.

With a push of volation, I break the spell and step back, putting as much distance as I can between us. Her face is flushed, and her lips are swollen. I dab at my bottom lip, tasting blood. Everything becomes clear in that moment.

“Out of all the years that I've known you, never once have you stooped this low. This is beneath you.”