THE HUSBAND HUNTERS (21 page)

I was still reeling with the shock. Seeing Paul with any other woman would have been bad enough, but to catch him with one of my best friends was totally devastating. If Soph had physically stabbed me, she couldn’t have hurt me any more. Now I knew how Rach must have felt, when I swiped Pete Griffiths from underneath her nose. Even though he hadn’t been earmarked as potential husband material, it must still have hurt her.

‘I can’t believe she went behind our backs,’ said Rach. ‘All these weeks when we were talking about stalking Paul, she had been seeing him all along.’

‘I knew Soph was hiding something about that school reunion,’ I added. ‘She never really wanted to talk about it, and tell us who was there. Usually, she
would have been bubbling over with it, and giving us all the details – but she has been really cagey. Now we know why.’

We drove into the gravel drive in front of the clinic and walked into the reception area. A heavily made-up girl in a white coat showed us to some nearby chairs. Rach had already been for several medical health checks, and today she was going to be inseminated with the sperm she had chosen. We had debated for ages over Rach’s potential sperm donor. Eventually we decided on: six-foot tall, dark with dark brown eyes, and a slim, athletic build.

‘He sounds like George Clooney,’ said Kaz, enviously. ‘You’re so lucky, Rach.’

‘Why?’ she said, with a laugh. ‘It’s not like I’m sleeping with him, Kaz. I’m just using his sperm.’

Tash had asked whether Rach could request a small-nosed donor. ‘If he has a big nose too, then the poor baby is going to have a terrible time,’ reasoned Tash. ‘The least you can do is to choose a donor with a small nose, to compensate for yours.’

I said that it wouldn’t specify on the donor’s details whether he had a big nose, knock knees or a small willy. Rach would have to take pot luck on all those things.

‘Are you nervous?’ I asked Rach, watching her twisting her handbag strap over in her fingers.

‘A bit,’ she nodded. ‘It’s quite a big thing to do.’

Finally a nurse called her name. We went into a consulting room and a doctor was waiting for Rach.

‘Hi, Rachel,’ he said, smiling and holding out his hand. ‘It’s the big day today.’

Rach put on a gown and climbed on to what looked like an operating table and lay down. She wanted me to stay with her. I didn’t fancy seeing Rach’s privates in all their glory, whilst the insemination took place. I had already started to feel a bit queasy.

I stood by her head and held her hand. Was this what it was going to be like when she gave birth? She’d already asked me to be her birthing partner, so I’d better get used to the idea. I could see the doctor busy with the syringe and a nurse was propping Rach’s feet against two bars. Rach looked at me and smiled.

‘I can’t believe this is finally it,’ she whispered. I squeezed her hand.

‘It’s not too late to change your mind,’ I said, quickly. Rach rolled her eyes at me.

‘Bee, I can’t wait to be a mum,’ she said. ‘It’s what I’ve always wanted.’

The doctor came over and started to rummage under Rach’s gown. ‘OK, here we go,’ he said.

I felt even queasier and stood crossing my legs. I didn’t even like having a smear test done. I imagined all the little George Clooney-like sperm making their bid for freedom, swimming towards Rach’s womb. It was a weird thought. Rach gripped my hand a bit tighter.

‘Nearly done,’ said the doctor looking up, with a smile. ‘Almost there.’

A few seconds later he straightened up. The syringe in his hand was empty. It was all over. I looked down at Rach. She could be getting pregnant right now, I thought, lying alone on an operating table, and not a post-coital cigarette in sight. She has completely missed out on the fun bit, I thought sadly, as Rach got up and straightened her gown.

Half an hour later, we walked out of the clinic.

‘Do you feel any different?’ I demanded, as we crunched down the gravel drive. ‘Do you feel pregnant?’

‘Of course not,’ said Rach. ‘I feel excited, but nervous too, in case it hasn’t worked.’

‘You’d better keep to those ten commandments if you are pregnant,’ I said sternly as we battled through the traffic towards home.

‘Oh, Bee, of course, I will,’ she said, laughing. ‘Having a baby is going to change my life, there’s no doubt about that, but my friends will always be important to me, especially you.’ She reached over and squeezed my hand. A selfish part of me hoped it hadn’t worked - that all the little George Clooneys would have suddenly forgotten how to swim - but I knew Rach would be devastated.

I sat at work the following morning, wondering how soon Rach would find out if she was pregnant. I knew it couldn’t be possible, but I jumped every time the phone rang, imagining that it was her with some news.

‘What's up?’ said Nick, perching on my desk. ‘You look really glum.’ I told him about Rach having her insemination yesterday.

‘
Aren’t you happy for her, then?’ asked Nick.

‘I am, but I know it’s going to change everything,’ I said, mournfully. ‘It’s what she wants, and I’ve not seen her as happy for ages, but it will be like two’s company, three’s a crowd.’

Then I told him about Soph, the traitor – and I couldn’t believe it – Nick was completely on Soph’s side.

‘There was no hope for you and Paul,’ he pointed out to me. ‘Paul had already decided he was going to stand you up, before he met Soph at the reunion.’

I didn’t really need to hear this from Nick. I already felt about an inch high due to Paul standing me up, I didn’t need to feel any smaller.

‘
Okay, it was a bit childish of him to do that because of what happened last time, and realistically he should have given it a fair shot,’ he added, ‘but he didn’t, and you need to get over it. And if he and Soph have hit it off, then you should be pleased for them.’

That was the annoying thing about men. Their world was so black and white - there were no grey areas in the middle, full of ‘what-ifs’, and ‘perhaps’ and ‘maybes’. It was easy for him to say forgive Soph, but in my book, she had committed a hideous crime, and there was no going back.

I looked at Nick. His hair was particularly wild today - I was just itching to put some wax into it and give it a bit of style. And he was wearing a particularly hideous,
blue jumper with grey swirls on it. I made a mental note to cross him off Jen’s list. I couldn’t inflict that on the poor girl.

‘Have you made a note of the photo shoot in a fortnight’s time?’ Nick asked, looking at his diary. Maria had asked me yesterday to go on a photo shoot at a local National Trust property with Nick, as his usual photography assistant was away on holiday.

I liked going on picture shoots, but not with Nick, as he always bossily ordered me around, as if I were his dogs body. I liked his company in the office, but to work with on a shoot, he was awful. He was good, and got the job done, but not before he’d bitten my head off a trillion times.

‘Yes, but if you start ordering me about this time – I’m off, and I don’t care what Maria says,’ I said, firmly. ‘I’m not some little servant girl that you can boss about and throw your weight around with.’

‘Ooh, I love it when you get all firm with me,’ said Nick, laughing. He got off my desk and shut his diary.

‘I thought your little bit of student fluff came to watch your picture shoots,’ I said cattily. ‘Won’t school let her out for this one?’

‘Meow,’ said Nick, sharpening his claws on an imaginary bit of wood. ‘No, she’s on a full day course that day. She doesn’t come with me all the time anyway – only when she hasn’t got lessons.’

‘
Can’t keep away from you,’ I said tartly.

‘Obviously not - I am irresistible after all,’ teased Nick.

‘Oh, I find you very resistible,’ I assured him, turning back to my computer.

‘There was one thing I meant to ask you,’ said Nick, coming back to sit on my desk again. I sighed and turned round.

‘What now?’ I said. ‘Some of us do have work to get on with you know. And as irresistible as you are, I really need to crack on.’

‘What was that monster of a thing that rolled out of your handbag the other day with a load of pins stuck into it?’

I had thought Nick had forgotten about that. I might have known that he wouldn’t let it go.

‘
For one horrible moment, I thought it was a voodoo doll or something,’
said Nick, laughing.

‘Actually it was, but it wasn’t mine,’ I added quickly, in case Nick had some big -headed thought that I’d made a voodoo doll of Clare for some reason. ‘It was Kaz who fancied a guy at work, but he had a girlfriend.’

‘So she made an effigy and stuck pins in it?’ said Nick, starting to laugh. ‘Is there no limit to the depths that you girls will stoop to? What happened to the poor girl? – I’m surprised she is still alive considering the amount of pins that were stuck in that thing.’

I saw Nick look at my open handbag. In a split second I tried to reach across and grab it but he was too quick for me. He pulled the doll out. He turned it over in his hands, whistling through his teeth at the venom, which had been inflicted on poor Caroline.

‘Whoever she is, she doesn’t look much of a catch,’ he said, and I had to agree with him. Judging by the doll, Caroline wouldn’t win any beauty contests. It had one arm shorter than the other, the left eye was pointing out at an angle and was lower than the right, and the body was far longer than it should be, with two short stumps for the legs.

‘I don’t think it is a particularly lifelike version,’ I pointed out, although Kaz did say that Caroline did have one lazy eye, so that bit was right.

‘Well, she’s obviously as tough as old boots,’ said Nick, with a laugh, chucking the doll back in my handbag. He picked up his camera and headed for the door. ‘Do you fancy coming round for dinner? You kind of cooked for me that time, so I want to return the favour, although I can’t promise anything as appetising as that duck.’

‘Okay,’ I said, quite enjoying the thought of someone else cooking for me, ‘When?’

‘Saturday night?’ he said, ‘and don’t forget to bring your fire extinguisher, just in case,’ he added over his shoulder.

***

My phone rang the following afternoon. It was Rach’s mum.

‘Hi, Wendy, how are you?’ I asked. It was a bit odd, as Rach’s mum never spoke to me much. She hadn’t ever forgiven me for trying to ram a slug into Rach’s mouth all those years ago in the sandpit. Her voice was tight.

‘Bee, I need to speak with you. Can you come round after work?’

At 6 p.m. I found myself knocking on Rach’s front door, not knowing quite what I was there for. Wendy led me into the lounge. Rach was already sitting on the sofa, looking tearstained.

‘What’s happened?’ I asked her.

‘Rachel has just told us that she wants a baby and she has already been for artificial insemination,’ Wendy said, looking at me coldly. ‘We are completely shocked and don’t think it’s the best thing for Rachel. She has a career, for goodness sake, and no husband.’

I didn’t realize that Rach hadn’t told her parents of her plans.

‘Mum, it has nothing to do with you,’ pleaded Rach. ‘It’s my life, and before the baby is born I’ll move out and get myself somewhere for us both. I want to do this.’

‘And why didn’t you stop her?’ said Wendy, rounding on me. ‘I thought the purpose of this club of yours was to find each other sensible husbands, not to fill your heads with nonsense like this.’ I tried to reason with her.

‘Wendy, the club hasn’t suggested to Rach that she has a baby. That was completely her decision. We are supporting her through it because it’s something that she wants to do.’

‘I can’t believe a daughter of mine is trying to get herself pregnant all on her own,’ screeched Wendy.

‘Rach is nearly 30 years old, Wendy,’ I reminded her. ‘She is a grown woman and can make her own decisions about her life. It would be nice if you could support her.’

‘I don’t agree with it,’ said Wendy, her lips in a thin, straight line. ‘In my day, you were shamed if you gave birth to a bastard – and that is what it’s going to be.’ She burst into tears and ran out of the room. I looked at Rach.

‘I didn’t know you hadn’t told them,’ I said to her, giving her a hug.

‘I put it off because I knew what Mum’s reaction would be – but she found a pregnancy test in my room and confronted me with it. I had to tell her the truth then. I’d been hoping to move out and get a flat before I told them what I was doing, but now it’s too late.’

‘Do you want to stay at mine until all this cools down?’ I said.

‘Yes, please,’ she said, gratefully, giving my hand a squeeze. ‘I’ll go upstairs and pack a bag.’

A few minutes later, Rach came down the stairs carrying a holdall and we went outside to where my mini was parked.

‘I’m sure Mum will come round eventually,’ she said as we drove off. ‘It was a shock for her, that's all.’

‘Are you pregnant?’ I asked her, thinking of the pregnancy test that Wendy had found.

‘It’s too early to tell yet. I’d bought it to do in a few days’ time,’ said Rach.