The Immortal Rules (28 page)

In the bathroom, I splashed icy water on my face, gazing at my cracked reflection in the mirror. Unlike the stories said, we actually did cast a reflection, and mine looked awful: a pale, dark-haired girl with traces of blood running from her eyes, and someone else’s blood flowing in her veins. I bared my fangs, and the image of the girl disappeared, revealing a snarling, hollow-eyed vampire in the glass. If Zeke only knew what I really was…

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, remembering the way he’d looked when I’d shoved him, when I’d pointed my sword at his chest. Shocked, betrayed, heartbroken. “It’s better like this. It really is. You have no idea what you’re getting into.”

I couldn’t keep this up. It was too hard, seeing Zeke, keeping my distance, pretending I didn’t care. It was also getting harder and harder to keep my secret. Sooner or later, I’d slip up, or someone would put the pieces together and realize what had been lurking in their midst. And then Jeb or Zeke would put a sharp wooden stick through my chest or cut off my head. Zeke had watched rabids kill his friends and family, and he was the protégé of Jebbadiah Crosse. I could not believe he would accept a vampire hanging around the group, no matter what he said about trust.

Maybe it was time to leave. Not tonight—dawn was too close—but soon. When they left the compound, that would be a good time to go. I knew Jeb didn’t want to stay much longer; he was already anxious to get on the road. I would see them through the woods, protect them from any rabids that might be lurking around, and then I would slip away before anyone realized I was gone.

Where will you go?
my reflection seemed to ask. I swallowed the lump in my throat and shrugged. “I don’t know,” I muttered. “Does it matter? As long as I get far away from Zeke and Caleb and Darren and everyone, it doesn’t matter where I go.”

They’ll miss you. Zeke will miss you.

“They’ll get over it.” I left the bathroom, my mind churning with conflicting emotions. I didn’t want to leave. I had grown attached to Caleb and Bethany and Darren. Even Dorothy had her strange charm. The rest I barely spoke to, and some—Ruth and Jebbadiah—I would be perfectly happy if I never saw again, but I would definitely miss the others.

Especially a certain boy with starry eyes and an open smile, who saw nothing but good inside me. Who didn’t know…what I really was.

I slept with my sword close that day, the covers pulled over my head. No one disturbed me, or at least, when I woke again the following evening, the room was as I’d left it. Lightning flickered outside, searingly bright for a split second, and thunder rumbled in the distance. If Jeb wanted to leave tonight, it would be a long, wet walk out.

Voices echoed through the stairwell, and I found the entire group downstairs, milling around the enormous wooden table that dominated one side of the kitchen. Ruth and Martha were ladling stew into bowls and passing them around, and a large bowl of corn muffins sat on the table within easy reach of everyone. Despite the feast, the mood around the table was somber and grim; even the kids ate silently with their eyes downcast. I wondered what was going on. Jeb wasn’t here, and neither was Patricia, but I glanced up and met Zeke’s eyes on the other side of the table.

As soon as our gazes met, he turned, grabbed a muffin from the bowl and walked out of the room without looking back.

My chest constricted. I wanted to go after him, to apologize for last night, but I didn’t. It was better that he hate me now; I’d be gone from his life soon enough.

Instead, I wandered over to where Darren stood, leaning against a corner and dunking his bread in his stew. He glanced at me, nodded and went back to eating. But he didn’t seem openly hostile, so maybe he hadn’t spoken to Zeke about what happened.

“What’s going on?” I asked, leaning beside him. He gave me a sideways look and swallowed a mouthful of food.

“We’re leaving soon,” he muttered, gesturing to the back door, where all our packs lay, stacked in a neat pile. “Probably in a couple hours, after everyone has eaten. Hopefully, we can get underway before the storm hits, and then the rain will hide our noise and our scent from any rabids in the woods. Jeb is talking to Patricia right now—she’s trying to get him to stay for another night or two, but I don’t think she’ll get very far. Jeb already gave us the order to move out.”

“Now? Tonight?” I frowned, but Darren nodded. “I thought we were staying until Joe got better.”

“He died,” Darren said softly, and my throat clenched in horror. “This afternoon. Larry went out to check on him, and he was gone.”

He’s dead?
“No,” I whispered, as a growl of distant thunder drowned my voice.
No, he can’t be dead. Not after…
Breaking away, I ducked out the back door and headed toward the woodshed.

Outside, a few drops of rain had begun to fall, making pattering sounds on the tin roof. As I passed the barn, the animals inside were bleating and crying, and I heard thumps of bodies hitting each other and the walls, the scuffle of hooves on the floor. In the twilight, the woodshed was dark and silent. Several logs had already been taken to feed tonight’s fires, though the rain would drench the flames soon enough. I wondered if the rabids got excited every time it stormed.

As I rounded the shed, I saw the cage, and the body huddled in the corner, shaking. Relief swept through me. Darren had been wrong. Joe was still alive.

“Hey,” I greeted softly, stepping up to the bars. “You sure gave me a scare. Everyone thought you were de—”

Joe looked up, eyes blazing, and lunged at me with a scream.

I jerked back, and the body struck the cage with a chilling shriek, grabbing at me through the bars, its skin pale and bloodless. The rabid howled, shaking the bars of the cage, biting and clawing at the iron, its mad eyes fixed on me.

Sickened, I stared at the thing that had once been Joe Archer, at the once familiar face, now gaunt and wasted. His beard was covered in blood and froth, his eyes glazed and glassy as they stared at me, nothing in them except hunger. And my stomach twisted so hard I thought I might throw up.

Did
I
do this?
Is this my fault?
I thought back to the previous night, when Joe had spoken to me, had accepted coffee from Zeke and even made a joke. He had been fine then. Had I taken too much that he had died, succumbed to the infection? Would he still be alive, if I hadn’t fed from him?

I heard the crunch of gravel behind me and turned, hoping and fearing it was Zeke. But it was only Larry, come to return the empty wheelbarrow to the woodshed. He set it aside and stared at the rabid a few moments, his weathered face crumpled with grief.

“Damn,” he muttered in a choked voice. “Damn damn dammit! I was hoping he wouldn’t…” He sucked in a breath, swallowing hard. “I’ll have to let Patricia know,” he whispered, sounding on the verge of a breakdown. “Aw, Joe. You were a good man. You didn’t deserve this.”

“What will happen to him now?” I asked.

Larry didn’t look at me, continuing to stare at the rabid as he answered. “Joe is gone,” he said in a flat, dull voice. “We would’ve buried the body if he hadn’t Turned, but there’s nothing left of him anymore. The sun will take care of the rest tomorrow.”

He shuffled away, back toward the farmhouse, leaving me to stare at the monster that had been Joe and feel completely and utterly sick.

My eyes burned, and I felt something hot slide down my cheek. I didn’t wipe it away this time, and more followed, burning crimson paths down my skin. The rabid watched me, cold and calculating. It had stopped throwing itself against the bars and now huddled against the back corner, unnaturally still, a coiled spring ready to be unleashed.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered to it, and it bared its fangs at the sound of my voice. “I did this. You’d still be alive if I hadn’t bitten you. I’m so sorry, Joe.”

“I knew it,” someone hissed behind me.

I whirled. Ruth peered at me from around the corner of the woodshed, her brown eyes wide with shock.

Chapter 17

We stared at each other, frozen in time. As our eyes met, I became aware of the small things happening around us: the drip of rabid drool hitting the ground, the lines of blood smeared across my cheek.

Then Ruth stepped back and took a breath.

“Vampire!”

The cry echoed off the woodshed, carrying over the rain, as Ruth turned to flee. Behind me, the rabid shrieked in response, and my vampire nature surged up with a roar. I lunged forward on instinct. Before the girl could take a single step, I was in front of her, slamming her back into the wall, fangs bared to their fullest. Ruth screamed.

“Shut up!” I snarled, even as I caught myself from lunging forward, from driving my fangs into her slender throat. The vampire within howled a protest, urging me to bite, to kill. Shaking from holding myself back, I glared at her, curling my lips from my teeth. “That was you by my room last night, wasn’t it?” I demanded. “I thought I heard someone on the stairs. You’ve been snooping around me all this time, just waiting for something to happen.”

“I knew it,” Ruth panted, shrinking back from me, her expression caught between defiance and terror. “I
knew
there was something wrong about you. No one believed me, but I knew. Zeke will put your heart on a platter when he finds out, vampire bitch.”

I hissed, leaning close, baring my fangs in her face. “You’re awfully smug for someone who’s about to die.”

She turned white. “You can’t!”

I smiled, showing teeth, unsure if I was serious or not. “Why not?”

“Zeke will know!” Ruth cringed, panicked now, throwing up her arms to protect herself. “And so will Jeb! You can’t kill me.”

“I’m a
vampire!
” I snarled, on the verge of losing it.
“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Allison!”

I froze, feeling the world stop for a fraction of a second. In that heartbeat, a torrent of emotion rushed through me, almost too fast to recognize. Horror, anger, guilt, regret. What was I doing? What the hell had come over me? I looked at Ruth in a daze, dismay and revulsion spreading through me. Another second, and I might have killed her.

But worst of all…

Dropping my hands, I turned slowly…to face Zeke standing a few yards away. His gun was drawn, angled at my heart.

We stared at each other, silent in the falling rain. For another surreal moment, I felt a stab of déjà vu, flashing back to our first meeting in the abandoned town. But unlike that first time, Zeke’s eyes were stony, his mouth pulled into a grim line. This time, he was serious.

“Let her go, vampire.”

My insides cringed, hearing that word from him, cold, hard and unyielding. “Why should I?” I challenged. “You’ll shoot me as soon as she’s clear.”

He didn’t deny it, just continued to watch me, eyes glittering through the rain. I waited a moment longer, then slumped in resignation.

“Get out of here,” I told Ruth without looking at her, and she didn’t pause. Scrambling away from the woodshed, she fled to Zeke’s side, glaring back at me with wide, hate-filled eyes.

“Go get Jeb,” Zeke ordered in a calm voice, never taking his gaze off me. “Alert the rest of the house, but don’t come back to help, Ruth. Stay inside, keep the kids close, and lock the doors, understand?”

She nodded and fled back toward the house, already screaming. I tensed as her shrill voice echoed over the rain. In a few minutes, every male in the compound would be rushing at me with axes and pitchforks and firearms. I had to get out of here, but first, I had to deal with Zeke.

I drew my sword, and he stiffened, pulling his machete as well, still keeping the pistol trained unwaveringly at my center. I gazed at him and fought the despair threatening to crush me. I was going to have to fight him. Zeke wasn’t going to let me go, not after what I’d done to Ruth.
I’m sorry,
I wanted to tell him, knowing he wouldn’t care.
I’m sorry it ended this way. But you’re not going to let me walk out, and I’m not going to stand here and die, even for you.

“That’s not going to stop me,” I told him, shifting to a better stance, so I could lunge out of the way if needed. “I’m much faster than you. Even if you empty that clip into my heart, it’s not going to kill me. I’m already dead.”

“It’ll slow you down,” Zeke replied, twirling his machete in a graceful arc, the razor edges glinting in the darkness, “and that’s all the time I need.” He eased to the side, a slow, cautious movement, and I stepped with him, moving off line. We circled one another, weapons held at the ready, eyes trained on each other, while the rabid hissed and growled from its cage.

“How many?” Zeke demanded, his face hard. I frowned in confusion. “How many of us did you bite?” he elaborated in a cold voice. “Who did you feed from? Caleb? Darren? Should I be worried
they’re
going to turn into rabids or vampires?”

“I never bit any of you,” I shot back, angry that he would think that, knowing I had no right to be. Of course, what else would he believe? “I never fed off anyone,” I said in a more reasonable voice. “And it doesn’t work that way. I would have to kill someone to turn them into a rabid.”

“Like Joe.”

My stomach clenched, but I tried keeping my voice and expression neutral. “I…I didn’t mean for that to happen,” I said, willing him to believe me. “And it might not have mattered. He could’ve already been infected by the boar.” But it was a weak excuse, one I didn’t really believe, and I knew Zeke didn’t, either. In his mind, I had Turned that rabid all on my own.

Zeke shook his head. “You were just using us,” he muttered, as if it pained him to say it. “This whole time. It makes sense now—you never believed in Eden, you never believed in any of this. All you wanted was an easy food source. And I fell for it.” He clenched his jaw. “God, I left Caleb and Bethany alone with a vampire.”

My heart sank, even as betrayal burned hot and fierce in my chest. This Zeke was different, the student of Jebbadiah Crosse, the boy who had been trained his whole life to hate vampires and everything about them. His eyes were cold, his expression closed off, unyielding. I was no longer Allison to him but a nameless demon, the enemy, a creature that needed to be slain.

So this is it.
I tightened my grip on my weapon, and I saw him do the same. We circled slowly, each looking for an opening. He had range with that gun, but I was betting Zeke didn’t know how quickly a real vampire could move. Getting shot was going to
hurt,
but after the first round I could close the distance and…

My steps faltered. And…what? Kill him? Cut him down, like I did with the raiders or the rabid boar? I could already feel the bloodlust, humming in my veins, eager for violence. Even if I disarmed him, I couldn’t trust myself, my demon, not to pounce on him and tear him apart.

Zeke’s eyes followed me, never wavering. I could almost see his finger tightening on the gun, when I straightened and slid my weapon back in its sheath. His brow furrowed, confusion crossing his face, as I shook my head.

“I can’t do this.” Facing him fully, I raised my empty hands, before letting them drop to my sides. “Shoot me if you have to, but I’m not fighting you, Zeke.”

He didn’t move, a war of different emotions raging in his eyes, though the gun didn’t waver. In the distance, toward the house, shouts echoed over the rain, the sound of footsteps sloshing through the mud.

I eased back a step, away from him, toward the outer wall and the forest that lay beyond. “I’m leaving now,” I said quietly, and Zeke raised the pistol a fraction of an inch, pressing his lips together. “You won’t see me again, and I won’t talk to anyone on my way out. Feel free to put a bullet in my back, but one way or another, I’m walking out of here.”

I half turned then, bracing myself, waiting for the pop of gunfire, for the explosion of pain across my shoulders. Zeke stood with the gun trained on me a moment longer, then dropped his arm with a sigh.

“Just go,” he whispered, not looking at me. “Get out of here, and don’t come back. I don’t want to see you again, ever.”

I didn’t answer. I turned my back on him fully and crossed the final steps to the wall, gazing up at the rim.

“Allison.”

I turned. Zeke stood in the same spot with his back to me, the gun still dangling at his side. “We’re even now,” he murmured. “But…this is the last favor I’ll grant. If I see you again, I’ll kill you.”

I faced the wall again, not wanting to reveal how much that hurt, or how much I wanted to spin around, knock him over and let him see how much of a demon I really was. My throat burned, but I swallowed the tears and the anger, burying it under cold indifference. I’d known, eventually, it would come to this.

Crouching slightly, I leaped for the top of the wall, finding cracks and handholds to scale the fifteen feet of rusty metal and iron. Landing on the other side, I jumped as gunshots rang out behind me, four in rapid succession, from Zeke’s pistol. I whirled to see a handful of bullet holes in a square of sheet metal, several yards from where I stood. Zeke hadn’t been aiming for me, only making sure Jeb knew he drove me off. That he hadn’t let the vampire go without a fight.

The fields stretched out before me, and beyond them, the dark woods beckoned. Behind me, I heard Zeke pause for a long moment, then his footsteps walked away, back to Jebbadiah and his family, where he belonged.

I began walking as well, away from the fence and the humans and the safe haven that was only a lie. I imagined myself and Zeke, the gap between us widening as we drew farther and farther away, each of us vanishing into our own world where the other could not survive. By the time I neared the edge of the woods, where the rabids and the demons and the other horrors waited, the chasm had become so vast I couldn’t see the other side anymore.