The Long Way To Reno (12 page)

            Benson
snorted while Sandy rolled her hazel eyes. “So much denial, much like Sandy’s
sexuality.”

            “He’s
not! I barely even know him! The only reason why we were – like we knew
each other, was because we worked at the same place!”

            “He’s
so nice,” Emmy repeated, looking mournful. “And you just
use
him.”

            “I
don’t
use
him - ! Well, not yet, I have to admit,” I said reluctantly.

            “You
are shameless,” Sandy commented with a snort.

            “I’m
a pretty girl, Sandy, I can pretty much get away with murder.”

            “Any
Rabid killing bad-ass has the pick of the litter,” Benson interrupted. “I think
we’ve pretty much agreed this one’s that.”

            “Not
even!” Emmy rejected, giving him her teenage denial expression.

            “I
haven’t seen her do much other than running away and putting on makeup,” Sandy
said, nose wrinkled. I made a smooching sound in her direction, and she shoved
me against the counter, stalking off.

            For
some reason Benson got a kick out of that and laughed before everyone shushed
him. Eventually, the ladies herded him away from the dangerous man-predator,
Emmy decided to continue to throw her teenage whims on him, and Harley trapped
me in the kitchen by offering to make me a sandwich. I pulled my vest from him,
shrugging it on carelessly. He took that gesture as an ‘okay’ to his
intentions.

            “So…I’m
glad you’re talking to Emmy,” he said, handing my sandwich over and then making
one for himself. I wished he added more contents to it, because if he was going
to be my ally, he needed more meat on him. “She was really looking down.
Y’know, she’s the youngest survivor I’ve seen so far. She needs a lot of
support and reassurance.”

            “Right,
right.”

            “Uh,
also…I’m, uh…sorry. You know. For…last Tuesday,” he then said carefully, brow
wrinkling. I paused in mid-chew, and tried to think of what happened back then.
He saw that I had no idea of what he was talking about, and said, “When I hit
you with my skeleton cart. I really didn’t see you when I turned the corner. I
didn’t mean to. Honestly. It was just…I was just trying to stay atop of my
numbers, and – y’know, you just get into the zone when, y’know, you’re in
that mode.”

            Yeah,
I know that mood – sometimes it was hard to see people and other workers
when I was so focused.

            “I
tried to apologize, but you’d just take off.”

            “We
ate in the same break room, had the same breaks,” I said with a frown. I always
saw him with a group of other teal badges at the table in the far back.

            “Yea,
but…you always had those guys with you. If it wasn’t those guys, it was some
other guy. All of them who eyed me whenever I came close. Well, if anybody came
close.”

            “I
can’t help it if I make people territorial,” I said childishly. I knew what
effect I had on guys. I’m not blind, or stupid, or Bella. I’d always thought
that I were Bella, I’d use Edward’s money to make me happy, sleep with Jacob to
satisfy my man-wants and then have an affair with Emmitt. I’d be satisfied with
a polygamous marriage, as long as I was the only wife.

            He
sighed. “Just…I’m sorry. There are other people I wanted to apologize to, but…I
just never had the chance.”

            “Harley
Troy,” I said, just to say his two first names, “if this hadn’t happened, would
you have approached me anyway?”

            Harley
played with his chips. One of the ladies asked him for a soda, so he found one
and gave it to her. Sandy was going through my bag, shaking her head at the
prompt of a woman, and as Harley said something, I heard Sandy mention needing
tampons.

            It
suddenly occurred to me that I’d never witnessed a lady having menstrual
problems in all of zombie-history.

            Then
I realized Harley was waiting for an answer, and I had to say, “
huh
?”

            “No,”
he repeated, looking guilty. “I wouldn’t. You’re…not my type.”

            “Why?”
I blurted, because my vanity was hurt.

            “Well…”
he trailed off, then looked terrorized while I glared up at him. “I don’t know,
I – just – you look high maintenance,” he said lamely.

            I
had to agree with that one. I let the offended expression on my face fade.
“But, really, you think someone that looks as good as I do is this natural?”

            “No,
but - !”

            “DUH
I’m high maintenance! I am a living trophy meant for a manly man. Why settle
for something lower when I’m that much of a catch?”

            He
looked away, probably wondering why I’d even bother with explaining the obvious
to him when he knew it already.

             “I
don’t know why you think anything’s going to happen between us, because the
moment I get into Reno, I’m leaving all of you to go find my parents. You’re
only going to hurt yourself for being stupid enough to think I’d lower my
standards for somebody like you.”

            From
the expression on his face, I knew I cut him pretty low. And, really, I didn’t
care because it was true. I rolled my eyes, snatched
his
sandwich, and
stomped off to my corner in the room. Pretty stupid if this guy thought he had
a chance with me.

Chapter Eight

Later
on, I was still fuming over the exchange between me and Harley. But the more I
thought about things, the more I realized – dang, I’m a selfish creature.
A woman like myself, overconfident and self-centered but powerful because she
knows she can get ahead with her looks and manipulation – really, who
likes those sort of people? Here I am, in the middle of an invasion and
slaughtering of the human race, and I still think I’m a catch.

            I
glared out at the darkness. I heard Rabid screams and snarls, but gunfire as
well. There were follow-up shouts and calls that told me the soldiers were
drawing the dangerous things away from the doublewide we were holed up in.

            It
was really dark in Lockwood – extremely cold. I’d grabbed my stuff and
stormed off onto the back porch because I am a dramatic person that does that
sort of thing.

            My
breath was visible as I breathed, glaring out towards the Sparks area. A set of
explosions had sent more smoke and clouds of debris into the air, and I could
only imagine it being the aftereffects of a world that had fallen into chaos. I
wondered how many other survivors were out there, roaming the city streets,
looking for evacuation centers. Kept wondering if my parents were at these
centers, if they’d had enough time to pack what they could and made it to
safety in time.

            I
was fairly confident my dad was taking good care of my mother. Despite his
harsh words and gruff exterior, he was a man that loved his woman. My parents
had married young – through all the years and troubles, affairs and
jubilation over a great many things, they were still together. I fully trusted
them in surviving just long enough for me to come home to them. I needed to be
with them, to know that they were safe – after that, I don’t care what
happened.

            I
heard someone come outside, the door opening and shutting quietly – but
with how silent and still it was in this part of the neighborhood, it sounded
like a damn explosion. I had to resist the urge to run like a panicked animal.

            “Sorry,”
Benson said, hiding himself against the wall of the outdoor closet nearby. The
water heater was visible next to it, where Allen had fiddled with it earlier. I
looked at him, noticing that he was hiding from those that were looking out. It
amused me that he had to hide and escape his fan girls, coming out to visit
with the most dangerous one. “So…you had words.”

            “Were
you listening to all that drama?” I asked, keeping my voice low. I returned to
looking out into the darkness. I didn’t want to turn around and give this piece
of man-beauty away to those that were still inside.

            “I
think most of us were. Just a distraction from all the stuff happening.” He
sighed heavily as he leaned back against the closet. He still wore most of his
gear – his helmet was sitting on the kitchen counter.  He had blonde
hair shaped in that ugly close crop that the military was infamous for. “Kinda
makes me think that things are, and can be, normal again.”

            “I
don’t even know the guy. I just barely met him. But it’s stupid to think that
he could have feelings for me just because we were grouped together by
circumstance.”

            “Well,
people fall for each other during times of stress. Why is that so bad?” Benson
asked, amusement in his tone.

            “Just
so that he or I can be killed in the next hour, the next day? There’s no point.
In video games, people can die just like that, but there’s the reset button, or
the option to respawn,” I said. I leaned against the porch railing, looking
down at old dog crap on what used to be a sod-laid lawn. “Out here, there’s not
even convenient defib units to bring a person back to life.”

            It
was true – I think it was just extreme luck that we kept running into
each other.

            “So
romantic,” Benson supplied, still with that tone. “Wanting to save him and his
feelings.”

            “That’s
not how I see things,” I said, brow furrowing. “I’m not interested in him. How
can a girl be interested in something like that in the middle of an apocalypse?
People are dying, there are aliens destroying cities, and then there’s
this
in the middle of it all. Seriously, not interested.”

            “You’ve
got a point, there. But there’s another side to it all. Me and Sandy talked
about this, once, when we were stationed in Afghanistan? If you meet somebody,
would you go for it despite knowing you’re going to die the next day anyway,
just to have that chance, or spare both him or her that devastation and be
like, whatever.”

            I
drummed my fingertips atop of the railing. Found it selfish that I was busy
being dramatic with my situation when there were people in this world that have
been put into this situation once before. Then felt annoyed because a guy in a
military uniform was giving me love advice. Shouldn’t he be busy controlling
the perimeters and looking angsty over his assault rifle while reliving bad
memories of his time overseas?

            “So…what
was your thing?” I asked curiously, staring at a particularly crusty turd.
Must’ve been a big dog that once stayed here. I wondered what happened to it.

            “Well…I
was like you. Like, hell with it. Why even bother giving that person that one
chance just to be blown up the next day? Spare them.” He then snorted, shifted
from one boot to the other. “Then Sandy fell in love with this translator
assigned to our company. I watched her never regret that affair.”

            I
found it neat that these two were so close. Like brother and sister, almost. I
kind of envied that sort of interaction – I never had that sort of
closeness because of the villainous side of me.

            “Why
is this even a topic?” I asked, wondering about the woman Sandy had fallen for.
I bet it was mega-romantic – Sandy seemed the take charge type.

            “Because
I think Troy’s a hella cool dude. He saved our lives – I gotta repay him
something,” Benson said. I looked at him – only mildly curious as to how
that dork saved these big, tough soldiers, but not enough to pursue the
subject.

             I
merely rolled my eyes. “I don’t have feelings for this guy.”

            Benson
gave me a look that clearly said I was full of shit, so I felt insulted.

            “By
the time I get into Reno, I’m gone, Benson. I’m going to find my parents, and
that’s it for me. After that, what happens
happens
.” I looked at him,
and then grinned. “So sleep with me right now, or you miss out.”

            Benson
laughed loudly, and then shut up hastily – but someone still heard him
from inside. The door opened and one of his fan girls stepped out to find him,
completely ignoring me. He gave me a dirty look as he was then coerced inside,
and I waved goodbye to him, a little more cheered now that I was out there by
myself. Once I heard the door shut behind him, I continued with my gloomy
pity-party thoughts and stared out at the devastation that was the freeway. I
hoped that my parents hadn’t tried to take it out to Fernley to find me.

: :

            By
the time I came back in, feeling pretty bad for my dramatics, everyone was
settled down in their respective beds. Sandy indicated for me to join them. I
looked over to Harley, but he had his back turned to me, and I couldn’t think
of what to say to him to alleviate the fact that I am a total villain.

            Rather
reluctantly, I unhooked my Fubar, set my bag aside; Sandy stared at me until I
took my vest off, setting all three next to me. I lowered myself to the spot
assigned to me, then stood up quickly.

            “Bathroom,”
I said, much to their impatience. I felt way too paranoid to be resting comfortably
in a situation like this – too jittery, anxious. I was tired, and I did
feel better with the others outside killing things, but so much had occurred
for me to be completely at rest.

            “Make
it quick. The others are coming back, and we have to decide who’s going to be
on watch throughout the night,” Sandy said above the low mutterings from the
floor.

            “Why
do we have to be asleep for that?” I asked curiously, feeling a tingle of
awareness. That very same thing that warned me about Jeff and the others was
coming back.

            “I
don’t know.” She tilted her head in one direction, where a soldier was
standing, eying me suspiciously. I didn’t even see him until she pointed him
out. “Victor here just came in. He’s going to stand guard while ‘the tards and
I meet with the sarge. So he wants you to hurry up and get laid down while we
chat with our superior.”

            “Okay,
okay,” I muttered. I made my way to the bathroom, did my thing – at the
last minute, I applied my colored chapstick. I felt a little better at seeing
something normal on my face. I was trying to ease my nerves, talk myself out of
my mounting paranoia and attributing it just to stress and exhaustion, but the
more I looked at myself in the mirror, the worse I felt.

            By
the time I left the bathroom, I’d made up my mind. I snatched my things with a
huff, and stomped over to Harley. He looked surprised, then irritated as I
announced that I was not sleeping anywhere without my boyfriend, rules or not.

            Emmy
groaned aloud, Harley tried to protest, but I kicked him to make him shut up.
Sandy rolled her eyes and muttered something to Victor before leaving the
doublewide. I didn’t take my things off as I shoved Harley aside and rolled
under the blankets next to him. There were quiet conversations here and there
as everyone settled down for the night – Victor’s unnerving stare at all
of us continued to make me paranoid.

            “What
the hell - ?” Harley started to complain when I shushed him noisily.

            I
was only slightly comforted that he had his rifle next to him. As he started to
shift it out of the way, I rolled over it, to somehow hide it from Victor. He
gave me a bewildered look, tried to shove me away as I rolled in close.

            “HOLD
ME,” I demanded. His reaction was to push at me, and we struggled until Emmy hissed
at us to shut up and go to sleep. I glared pointedly at him, clinging to his
bony arms until he stopped fighting me. He tried to turn away, but I grabbed
his chin to hold his focus on me, trying to communicate with facial expressions
only.

            “What
is your problem?” he snapped, and people shushed us.

            “Get
some rest, huh? Save the marital stuff for tomorrow,” Victor suggested, in a
tone that made everyone shut up. I lifted my eyebrows – as pointless as
that was, considering how my bangs hung over them – at Harley. With a
disgusted expression, he faced me – but shoved his arms underneath mine
in order to break my hold.

            I
glared at his chest for a few moments, lulled by his warmth and that of the
blanket he’d pulled over us. The rifle was extremely uncomfortable underneath
me, but I felt comforted by it – we were still armed. A couple of the
ladies started a low conversation about needing to find more tampons, and that
encouraged more convos from the guys. I heard Emmy complaining to Lydia about needing
warmer pants.

            “Remember
when you asked me if I was with Jeff’s group?” I whispered, just low enough for
him to scrunch his face up. He was completely stiff, straining hard to get away
from me without looking too obvious about it. “Well, I had the chance at first.
I was hiding, in Red? I heard them talking – I wanted to jump at the
chance to join other people.”