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Authors: Teresa Southwick

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Rebecca wasn't sure what she expected from him, but anger at being left out of the loop would be at the top of her list. And she saw no evidence of that. He'd lost his wife in childbirth. The motherless child she'd left behind had nearly lost her life. But this was the same child he'd been too heartbroken to notice. She couldn't help being angry about that and did her best not to let it show.

And she had a question outside the parameters of her professional medical obligation. She should walk away. But from the moment she met Amy, and Gabe for that matter, she hadn't been able to walk away when she should have.

“Mr. Thorne, have you seen Amy yet?”

“No.” Sadness brimmed in his eyes. But there was something else, too. “I can't imagine what you think of me, Dr. Hamilton. My own daughter threatened to run away if her brother involved me.”

“Mr. Thorne—”

“Call me Carleton.”

She nodded. “Obviously, you care about Amy or you wouldn't be here now.”

“Of course I care. But I'm ashamed to admit I have no idea what's going on with my daughter. I didn't even know she was dating, let alone that she was going to have a baby.”

“Were you worried about her when she took off?”

“Of course I was. It was a relief when she called to let me know she was all right. She told me she was with a friend.”

Partly true, Rebecca thought. At least, she and Gabe had put down a foundation for friendship. Anger didn't blind her to the reality. “Carleton, you couldn't know what she didn't choose to tell you.”

His glance slid to the baby behind the glass. “Our problems go back to when her mother died. My wife was the glue that held the family together. When she was gone, I didn't know what to do, especially with a baby girl.”

“You were in shock.”

The expression in his eyes was bleak, with overtones of anger. “Apparently it's a condition that's lasted for eighteen years. There is no way to mitigate my culpability, Rebecca. May I call you that?”

“Of course.”

“I've let my daughter down and there's no way to fix that.”

She put her hand on his arm. “You didn't deliberately disappoint your daughter. It must have been a devastating loss. Amy's mother was a lucky woman to have been loved so deeply.” She drew in a breath. “And you're right about one thing. You can't fix the past with your daughter. But the future is up for grabs. You don't have to let Amy down now.”

“She doesn't want me to be a part of her life.”

“Your daughter doesn't really know what she wants. But I'll tell you this. What she
needs
is support. Someone strong to lean on. I'm concerned about her emotional well-being.”

“In what way?”

“She's resisting bonding with her baby. I don't know if the cause is rooted in her childhood and losing her own mother before she ever knew her. Or…something else. Whatever it is, she needs her father more than ever. And if you walk out on her I will personally—”

“Kick his ass?” The familiar voice held a trace of amusement. “Watch out, Dad. She's one tough lady.”

Rebecca glanced over her shoulder to see Gabe behind them. He was still wearing the jeans and shirt from yesterday in Red Rock Canyon. It seemed a lifetime ago. Now he was rumpled in the sexiest possible way. And he was solidly there for the people he loved.

“And how do you know this, son?” There was a gleam in the elder Thorne's eyes.

Come to think of it, there was a gleam in the younger Thorne's eyes, too. But Rebecca suspected it was generated by something completely different, something that made her stomach jump and her heart race.

Gabe stood beside her and looked down. “I know because she's really smart. I'd listen to her if I were you.”

“I'll do my best.”

She nodded. “Let's go see your daughter.”

The three of them walked in the room. Rebecca took the lead and saw that Amy was awake. She had an IV going with a small, hand-held pump that allowed her to control her own pain medication.

“There's more color in your face,” she said. “Are you comfortable?”

“Pretty much.” The teen tensed when she saw her father.

“Hello, Amy.”

She didn't say anything and looked more like a sad little girl than the defiant teen Rebecca had first met.

Carleton stood at the foot of the bed. “How are you?”

“Okay.”

“I've seen the baby. He's quite something.” He cleared his throat. “What are you going to call him?”

“I haven't thought about it.”

“My father's name was Matthew.”

“So?” The shield of hostility was in place, although it was fuzzy around the edges. Drugs took the edge off the glare she aimed at her father. “Aren't you going to ask how I could be so stupid?”

Rebecca held her breath as she looked between the two. She had her suspicions, but no one knew for sure how this baby had been conceived. The teen had thrown down the challenge, almost given her father a script of how this first meeting was going to go. It was as if she was giving him enough rope to hang himself. He'd never been there for her. She didn't expect him to be there and she was going to give him a reason not to be there now.

Rebecca recognized it in the teen because the behavior was so familiar to her. It was a pattern she knew well.

“That's a loaded question,” Carleton told his daughter. “Both a yes and no response imply that I think you're stupid. That isn't the case. You're very bright.”

“How would you know? You never paid any attention.”

“That's true. And I worked hard at it, too.” He met her gaze. “In spite of my shortcomings as a father, some information sank in.”

“What's your point?”

“I want to pay attention now.”

Amy blinked. “Why? I don't need you now.”

“You're wrong.” He moved beside her and started to take her hand. He hesitated a moment, then took her fingers in his palm. The body language was stiff, awkward, but it was a start. “I think you need me now more than ever. However, I'm not going to argue. That would be a waste of time and I've wasted enough already. Besides, words are cheap. All I can do is be there for you every day from now on. I need you in my life.”

“Since when?”

“Since I thought I was going to lose you,” he said, his voice cracking.

“Why should I believe you?”

“No reason on earth. But I'm not going anywhere. You'll just have to get used to it.”

Amy looked at her father and for once didn't have a comeback, but the sheen of tears in her eyes spoke volumes. It was a vulnerability Rebecca had never seen in the girl. And it was time for her to leave this family alone and let the healing begin.

She slipped into the hall and leaned back against the wall with a deep sigh. Carleton Thorne was far from perfect, but he was
there.
He'd admitted his fault and he was trying. No one could ask more than that.

She couldn't help thinking how she would feel if she were in Amy's situation. She'd want someone to hold her. In that instant she realized there was nowhere she'd rather be than in Gabe's arms.

She was in love with him.

The realization shouldn't have come as a surprise. Her feelings for him should have been obvious when she'd decided to tell him what happened to her. Instead of joy, she was filled with a deep sadness, because she understood that a positive outcome was hopeless.

Just a few minutes with Gabe's father gave her a pretty good indication that the Thorne men loved with their whole heart and soul. They were one-woman men. And Gabe had already found that one woman. Then he'd lost her. Rebecca didn't have a chance.

Chapter Thirteen

G
abe nodded with satisfaction as he took a last look at the newly installed wallboard of what would be the expanded women's wing of Mercy Medical Center. It was coming along well. And so was his sister. The forty-eight-hour mark had passed and she'd been declared officially out of the woods, which was a major relief. The positive outcome to her medical crisis had gone a long way toward improving his attitude about hospitals. Or maybe it was Rebecca's positive influence. Not only that, one look at her beautiful face had a way of making him see the brighter side of life.

He walked down the construction stairs and left his hard hat with one of the workmen. Since he was already here, he'd drop in and see his sister. He took the elevator down and got off at her floor, then headed toward her room. Their father was making plans to take his daughter home, which also should have been a major relief because that meant his own life would get back to normal.

Then he saw Rebecca walking down the hall and something intense flared through him. His body went hot and tight; his heart jolted. Right then and there he became acutely aware that nothing would ever be normal again after knowing her. That did not make him happy.

He moved toward her and waited expectantly for the sunny smile, but it never came. Apparently she wasn't happy, either, but she was definitely deep in thought—preoccupied and worried. She would have gone right past him if he hadn't reached out and touched her. It was weird, but he knew with absolute certainty that he could never not be absolutely aware of her.

When she didn't respond right away he said, “Rebecca?”

“Hmm?” She looked at him and it took a second or two for her to focus. “Oh. Hi.”

“Is something wrong with Amy?”

“No.” She hesitated, then said, “Not physically.”

“What does that mean?” When she hesitated to answer, he said, “I can see you're concerned. I'd like to know why.”

She rested her hands on her hips for a moment, then met his gaze. “Her body is healing and all her tests are normal. From a medical perspective she's doing extremely well.”

“But?” he prompted.

“Emotionally we're still at square one.”

“Because?”

“She still hasn't seen or held her baby.”

The words sliced through him and he thought it just might be a Thorne family failing. He hadn't seen or held his nephew, either. He just couldn't bring himself to do it and face the painful reminder of his own tiny daughter and the smiles he would never see, the milestones the two of them would never share. She'd never talk or take her first steps and he'd never have the chance to walk her down the aisle at her wedding. Not a day went by that he didn't think of her or wonder what she'd look like now.

“She has the option of giving up the child and she's receiving counseling, but…Gabe?”

He must have zoned out because Rebecca was giving him a funny look. Pulling it together he said, “Amy's been through a lot. Give her time.”

He took Rebecca's arm and moved her against the wall when two hospital attendants wheeled a bed down the hall toward the elevator.

When she met his gaze, questions swirled in her eyes. “I know you think I'm barely old enough to have a medical license, but I've delivered a lot of babies. I've seen women go through long labors and a great deal of pain associated with giving birth. But all they can think about is holding their baby for the first time. Even when they're planning to give up the baby, usually nothing keeps them from their child—unless there's something wrong.”

“You think there's something wrong with Amy?”

“I'm sure of it, and you have to help me get her to talk about what's bothering her.”

Gabe glanced away as men and women in scrubs and lab coats passed by. Some had paperwork in their hands, others had stethoscopes draped around their necks. The staff at Mercy Medical was dedicated to healing mind, body and spirit. Rebecca was taking that philosophy very seriously.

Gabe didn't want to go there. “You're always preaching Do No Harm. If Amy doesn't want to talk, there's probably a good reason. Wouldn't it be better to leave well enough alone?”

Her eyes narrowed, sharp and assessing. “A doctor's job is to watch, wait and decide whether a situation will get better on its own or intervention is required. When Amy's blood pressure shot up I took invasive action, absolutely certain it was the right thing to do. I'm equally as certain that her spirit requires invasive action, too.”

“Doesn't the hospital have staff for that sort of thing?”

“Of course. As I said, the counselor has been in to see her, but she's not cooperating.”

“You know I support my sister. I love her,” he said simply. “But maybe she's not ready—”

“There's not a lot of time to wait for her to
be
ready. She'll be well enough to be discharged soon, and she has a baby depending on her. I can't in good conscience send her home with that child to care for—not in her current state.” She took a breath and said, “With or without your cooperation I'm going to talk to her and try to get her to open up.”

She turned around and walked back to Amy's room. He watched her, the determination in her stride, the sway of her hips, the way she tossed her blond hair back as if it were an annoyance and not the lush and beautiful silk that turned him on and made him ache with need when he'd run his fingers through it.

Gabe watched, fully intending to let her go on this quest alone. He'd made it a point not to see the baby. He certainly didn't want to talk about him. Rebecca could handle this better by herself. But he remembered when Amy had first shown up and how Rebecca had dragged him into the situation against his will. He'd established a relationship with his sister and he was glad about that.

He moved then. Only because he loved Amy, he told himself. As soon as the thought formed he knew it was more than that. It was about Rebecca. He didn't want it to be and was trying to convince himself family loyalty was responsible. That was partly true, but mostly it was for Rebecca.

He followed her into the room, noting that the TV volume was pretty high. “Hi, kiddo,” he said, raising his voice to be heard.

She briefly glanced at him. “Hi.”

Rebecca looked over her shoulder and gave him a fleeting smile of approval. Her fingers were on Amy's wrist. Apparently she was satisfied because she nodded. After putting the blood pressure cuff around her upper arm and pumping it up, she placed the circular part of her stethoscope in the bend of his sister's elbow. After listening for a few moments, she again nodded with satisfaction.

“So,” she said, looking down at her patient. “The nurses tell me you're getting up and moving around. How's your pain? Are you able to keep it under control?”

Amy shrugged. “Yeah.”

“Good.” She sat on the bed. “The nurses also tell me you refuse to see your baby.”

Amy's mouth tightened, but that was her only response. Her attention was riveted to the TV. Gabe reached up and hit the power button to turn it off.

“Hey, I was watching that.” Amy shot him the drop-dead-bastard look.

He hadn't seen it for a while. Hadn't missed it either. “You need to listen to the doc.”

“You can't tell me what to do.”

“No,” he said. “But I care about you. And it's in your best interest to hear her out.”

He couldn't necessarily say the same for himself. Something told him he wasn't going to like what his sister had to say, because there wasn't a whole lot he could do to fix it.

“We need to talk, Amy,” Rebecca said.

The teen slid down in the bed and folded her arms over her chest, in her classic passive/aggressive pose. “I don't have anything to say.”

“You can't play the defiant-teenager game anymore,” Rebecca said firmly. “Ignoring it won't change the fact that you have a baby now. You're responsible for a life, and I can't stand by and let you disregard that any longer.”

“I'm not pregnant any more. You can't tell me what to do, either.”

“I'm still your doctor and you're almost ready to leave the hospital. But I can't discharge you with a baby you won't care for. You have some decisions to make.”

“No way—”

He moved to the foot of her bed. “Rebecca's right. You have to talk about this, Amy.”

She glared at him. “Why can't you leave me alone?”

“Why can't you look at your baby?” Rebecca demanded.

Without answering, Amy turned her head away and stared out the window.

Gabe wanted to pull her into his lap, make her pain go away and tell her everything was going to be okay. She was still a little girl who'd somehow been thrust into a grown-up situation. Suddenly he knew Rebecca's suspicions were right.

“Your baby is—” Rebecca sighed. “He's beautiful, Amy. A perfect little boy. So tiny but strong. I could be wrong, but I think he has your chin. When he's mad he sticks that stubborn chin out and—” She laughed. “Well, suffice it to say he has a healthy set of lungs. He's so full of life.”

Amy darted a quick glance at Rebecca, then turned away. “I don't care.”

“Tell me about the father. Do you love him?” Rebecca put her hand on Amy's arm when her shoulders stiffened and her lips compressed. “How did you meet? Isn't it getting harder and harder, keeping everything locked up inside you?”

Amy didn't respond so Rebecca continued in her calm, soothing voice. “It's a heavy burden to carry around. Isn't it time you shared what happened to you?”

Gabe braced himself. He knew what was coming.

“Aren't you tired of keeping it to yourself? I know I am.”

Slowly, Amy turned her head and stared. “What?”

“I think we share the same secret, Amy.”

“I don't know what you mean.”

Gabe's chest felt tight. He understood all too well even though he hadn't known that was coming. But the puzzle pieces fell into place, and the picture wasn't pretty.

Rebecca folded her hands together and rested them on her thigh. “I was sexually assaulted by a man I trusted.”

“You were raped, too?” Amy whispered.

“Yes. In medical school. He was a football player and I was completely blinded by the fact that he was paying attention to me, the brainer geek. No boy had ever paid attention to me before.” Her tone stayed low-key, but there was an edge of anger and betrayal clinging to the words.

Gabe felt every muscle in his body tighten. He wasn't shocked. Not really. Somewhere in the back of his mind he'd known. But hearing her say it made his blood run cold. Why hadn't she confided in him?

“It happened to me, too.” Tears filled Amy's eyes and trickled down her cheeks. “I was so ashamed—”

“I know,” Rebecca said. “You didn't do anything wrong.”

On some level Gabe was thankful she was there because he didn't know what to say. What he wanted was five minutes alone with the sick creep who'd hurt his sister. It wouldn't change anything, but he'd feel a hell of a lot better. After that he wanted a piece of the guy who'd hurt Rebecca.

“He pushed and pushed. I told him no,” Amy said, her voice breaking. “But he wouldn't listen. H-he hurt me.”

“I'm so sorry this happened to you, sweetie,” Rebecca said. She took Amy's hand between her own.

“It was just one time,” Amy continued. “I didn't think anything could—you know. I…I tried to forget. To pretend it didn't happen. Then I missed my period. I didn't know what to do. I kept getting bigger. I felt it—him—move inside me.” She turned bleak eyes on Gabe, then looked at Rebecca. “I didn't want the baby. I don't know if I can love him. The way he was conceived, how can I?”

She held Amy's hand in both of her own. “Don't make your baby a victim. He's as innocent as you are. And you have the option of giving him up for adoption. But before making that decision, you have to face the situation. If you bury your head in the sand, you leave your backside exposed.”

Amy giggled through her tears. “There's a visual.”

“It's true. I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit. You're capable of a whole lot of love.”

“I don't know—”

“Remember, you're not alone. Your dad is there for you.” Rebecca looked at Gabe and smiled reassuringly. “And your brother. I'm going to have the nurse bring in the baby so you can hold him—”

Gabe heard what she said and backed away. He couldn't face this. He wanted to be there for his sister. He
had
been there for her from the moment she showed up at his door. But watching her hold a baby in her arms was more than he could handle.

For reasons he couldn't define even if he wanted to, he felt as if he was losing his future all over again within the four walls of a hospital. All he could think about was getting out. He left the room and walked toward the elevator.

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