Authors: Darlene Gardner
The Misconception (41 page)
Marietta hung up the phone and let the joy course through her. She raised her arms in the air and did a little dance around the empty kitchen, the skirt of her pretty summer dress floating around her bare legs.
Jax would approve.
His philosophy was to be happy and not take life so seriously.
Marietta was still working on lightening up. Since marrying Jax and giving birth to a healthy baby boy they’d named Trey, however, she had being happy down pat.
She hurried onto the back deck she and Jax had added to her Old Towne Alexandria townhouse after they’d move in together, her good news brimming on her lips. Jax sat on a mesh rocker with their seven-month-old son Trey asleep in his arms. Ryan and Tracy were side by side on a two-seated glider, their hands linked and resting over Tracy’s pregnant stomach. At three months along, Tracy was barely showing but she was already wearing maternity clothes.
“Want to hear a really good Knock Knock joke, Ry?” Jax was already speaking as Marietta slipped through the French doors into the pretty June afternoon that smelled of freshly mowed grass and the barbecue lunch they’d just eaten.
Say no
, Marietta prayed.
“Love to,” Ryan said.
Jax beamed, looking so handsome and dear Marietta could almost forgive him from what she knew was coming.
“Knock, knock,” Jax said.
“Who’s there?” Ryan asked.
“Boo.”
“Boo who?”
“Don’t cry, baby,” Jax said. “It’s just a joke.”
Jax laughed so loudly, it was a miracle Trey didn’t wake up. Ryan joined in, his laughter every bit as boisterous. Tracy met Marietta’s eyes, grimaced and shuddered. Marietta understood why. Since Trey had been born, Jax was a fountain of corny jokes about babies.
Jax finally stopped laughing. “Who was that on the phone, Marietta?”
She forgot about his truly awful joke in an instant. “National Public Radio! Remember last year when I was a guest on
All Things Considered
? They’ve invited me back!”
“That’s terrific,” Jax said.
“Congratulations,” Ryan added.
“Uh-oh,” Tracy said.
Marietta wrinkled her nose at her sister. Tracy’s hair was back to its natural honey-blonde shade, but was cut so haphazardly it seemed to spring from her head in all directions. Tracy called the haircut “bed-head chic,” the perfect cut for the busy expectant mother.
“Why uh-oh?” Marietta asked.
“This is the show where you talked about
Motherhood without Males
, right?” Tracy asked.
“I touched on that,” Marietta said. “Mostly I discussed mate switching and how humans are genetically predisposed to separate.”
“So how will you explain Jax and the baby?” Tracy demanded.
Marietta had already figured that out. In fact, she’d been researching new theories on evolution and the sexes from almost the moment she’d admitted she was in love with Jax.
“Tracy has a point,” Jax said. “One of the reasons
All Things Considered
had you on the show last time is that you’re a controversial figure. They probably expect you to talk about another lightning-rod subject.”
“Such as?” Marietta asked.
“Fatherhood without Females?” he suggested. “Hey, that reminds me of a joke.”
“Don’t you want to hear mine first?” Marietta asked before he could share it. Three pairs of puzzled eyes turned toward her.
“You don’t tell jokes, Marietta,” Jazz said gently.
Really? Well, she’d see about that.
“I meant don’t you want to hear about what I plan to talk about on NPR?” she asked. “I’ve already got it figured out.”
“Absolutely.” Jax indicated the chair next to him with a nod. She sat down. He reached out with the hand not cradling their baby and touched her arm. A shiver ran through her, the way it always did when he touched her.
“It’s a new theory,” Marietta said. “I’m calling it After the Sperm.”
“Catchy,” Jax said.
“I’m going to talk about the benefits to the child from having the involvement of a father.”
“So far, so good,” Jax said.
“In fact, the more fathers, the better,” Marietta stated with a flourish. Then she waited.
“Now you’re talk. . .” Jax’s voice trailed off. “Huh?”
“Some indigenous cultures encourage a woman to have multiple sexual partners because it’s believed that repeated insemination is good for the fetus,” Marietta said.
Ryan patted Tracy’s rounded. “Let me state for the record that I’m not in favor of that.”
“I’m not, either!” Jax bit out. Trey startled, opened his eyes and screwed up his little face.
“Don’t cry, buddy. Everything’s all right.” Jax gentled his voice and bounced Trey in his arms. Without taking his eyes off the baby, he said, “It’s just that your mother isn’t making sense.”
“On the contrary,” Marietta said in her best professorial voice, “the logic is perfectly sound. In the indigenous culture, the husband is named the legal father but the other men are involved in the baby’s life.”
“Now how could that work?” Jax still sounded incredulous but his voice wasn’t much louder than a whisper. Trey smiled up at him and touched his cheek with a chubby hand. Jax really was a terrific father, Marietta thought.
“The child with multiple fathers gets more fish, berries and meat,” Marietta said, being careful not to let her smile break free.
“Oh, dear,” Tracy said. Since finding out she was pregnant, that was as strong as her sister’s language got.
“Does anybody at NPR know you got married and had a baby?” Ryan asked.
“Yes,” Marietta said. “The person who called congratulated me.”
“Oh, dear,” Tracy repeated.
Jax looked sick. “You’re really going to preach that stuff about the more fathers, the better on live radio?”
Marietta couldn’t hold back her laughter any longer. She covered her mouth to stifle it.
“What’s so funny?” Jax asked.
“It was a joke, Jax!” Marietta was still laughing.
“What?” Jax looked as flummoxed as when someone didn’t find one of his punch lines funny.
“Aren’t you always telling me to lighten up?” Marietta ruffled their baby’s hair and then laid a hand on the side of Jax’s face. The skin of his cheek felt slightly scratchy against her palm. “Of course I’m not going to advocate multiple fathers!”
The corners of Jax’s down-turned mouth slowly curved up. “Then what are you going to talk about?”
“I just had a baby and I’m married to Coyote Man, the UWA’s most popular act.” Inexplicably, but Marietta wouldn’t get into that. “In this case, After the Sperm refers to how a baby can strengthen the pair bond.”
“Thanks for clarifying,” Jax said with another one of those slow, symmetrical smiles. “We wouldn’t want to have another misconception.”
“Maybe not.” Marietta got up from her chair and ruffled their now-smiling baby’s hair. “But I sure am glad we had the first one.”
Then she leaned down and kissed the only man she’d ever want flush on the mouth. Because she was a woman in love, she mated for life.
Other romantic comedies by Darlene Gardner:
About the author
While working as a newspaper sportswriter, Darlene Gardner realized she’d rather make up quotes than rely on an athlete to say something interesting. So she quit her job and concentrated on a fiction career that has turned out pretty well. She’s the author of more than thirty contemporary novels from single-title romantic comedies to emotionally charged family dramas.
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