The Seduction of Suzanne (20 page)

Damn him.

From there it did not t
ake long for her to realise her biggest objection to going with him was he didn’t seem to return her feelings. Or at least, she thought frowningly, getting out of bed to go and search the fridge for the food Justin had brought, not with the intensity that she felt them. She chased this notion around for a while, before deciding it was fruitless to second-guess his intentions.

It was possible that he might fall in love with her in the future. He would certainly have a much better chance to do so if they were together. Yet if she went with him hoping that he would eventually return her feelings, and he never did, it would
break her heart.

He thought he was taking off with someone who regarded him as a friend. Someone who would be a pleasant and undemanding companion, with the added benefit that they desired each other. If he should discover her one-sided love for him . . . she cringed at the thought.

Not that he would ever be cruel. Oh no. But he would pity her. He would probably suggest they go their separate ways, so he wouldn’t cause her any more pain. So she could get over him.

She could bear even his pity more easily than that.

Unrequited love, she thought gloomily, was just as miserable as everyone said it was.

She found punnets of berries, stone fruit, sophisticated cheeses and fancy crackers, so she threw together an ad-hoc meal, figuring after a day-long fast she needed to eat something substantial.

Tilting her head back against the sofa cushions, she slowly fed herself delectable morsels. Feeling inebriated with tiredness from the late hour and then intense emotions of the day, and just plain reckless, she decided that the real question was about risk. In essence, how much was she willing to risk on the possibility that Justin would come to return her love?

How much?

Everything?

Yes.

Everything.

She had spent her whole life being sensible and cautious, guarding herself from the possibility of disappointment or pain. It wasn’t enough. She was hungry for more. Perhaps if Justin had never come along, something else would have jogged her out of her rut. Perhaps not. It didn’t really matter now. Either way, he would have her.

And she would have him.

As for the painting, as for selling enough work to fund studies at a really good art school – quite aside from the challenges of getting into one – it was surely worth a try, however impossible it seemed that she could make it happen. It hurt to dream about that. Too long spent denying her artistic self had left her stunted, accustomed to ignoring her feelings.

So she finally asked herself the question ‘What do I really want to do as an artist?’

And the answer simply unfolded in front of her, as if it had been waiting all this time. Justin’s suggestion was everything she’d never let herself know she’d always wanted.

And in a blinding flash she now knew. How had she hidden this for so long?

Her spirit leapt like it had been set free.

Yes, she would go. She would fling herself after this chance.

The next morning she awoke with a moan. Groggy and sandy-eyed, she had shuffled half way to the bathroom before she remembered the events of the night before. With a start, she was fully awake, her mind jumping into gear as she ran back to her bedroom to check the time.

Ten twenty-four! Justin said he would be back in the morning! With an exclamation she hurried to shower and dry herself in record time.

Back in her room she flung her wardrobe doors open and stopped, stymied. What should she wear? T-shirt, shorts and hiking boots? It was what she spent most of her life wearing, indeed what she had worn for most of the time they were together. It had not seemed to put him off.

But no, not enough somehow.

“Aha!”

She spotted her soft, leaf-green cotton sundress.

“Perfect!”

It was a moment’s work to pull the simple frock out and wriggle into it. With satisfaction she confronted herself in the mirror.

“You big girly girl,” she accused herself, wrinkling her nose happily at her reflection.

“Strappy sandals, strappy sandals,” she muttered, returning to the wardrobe to root around in the corners, and hoping that she hadn’t thrown them out in one of her spring cleaning blitzes. No, there was one, and here the other. Her fingers fumbled at the delicate leather straps of the flat-soled shoes.

With a firm hand on the hairbrush she brought her straight black hair into order, clasping it loosely at the nape of her neck.

When she had finished, she stood for a moment and simply looked at herself, feeling a tremor of uneasiness run under her cheer.

Was she really ready for this? It was going to shake her life into pieces and reassemble it in quite a different order. The hectic flush of excitement slowly faded from her cheeks, and she gnawed at her lower lip. But no, she had made up her mind, and she wasn’t going to back down now.

With her chin tilted at a militant angle she sailed out of her bedroom door and down the hall to the kitchen. It was only as she saw the empty deck chairs on the verandah that she realised she’d been expecting him to be waiting for her there. He wasn’t though.

Feeling deflated, she stopped. Should she go and look for him at the house where he was staying? Perhaps he was still asleep. But he must have gone to bed long before she had, as he’d left so early. He’d be up by now, surely. Maybe he had other things to do this morning, before he came to see her. She didn’t know what to think.

Perplexed, she absentmindedly ate her breakfast and then drifted round the house, tidying and rearranging things that didn’t need it.

For more than an hour she waited for him. Finally at ten minutes to twelve he appeared, driving up the driveway in the big four wheel drive. He parked behind her car, got out and closed the door firmly behind him. Suzanne thought she could see tension in his stride as he walked towards the house.

She came to meet him, standing at the top of the verandah’s three stairs. He stopped at the bottom and looked up at her.

The sun was directly overhead, shining down on his gilded blonde hair, and Suzanne caught her breath at the beauty of him. His face was still, his hands hanging loosely at his sides.

“Well?” he asked simply.

“Okay,” she replied, with a deliberately bland lightness.

“Okay?”

“Okay, yes, let’s run away and do silly things all over the world together.” She couldn’t hold back her grin any longer.

For a moment he looked as if he did not quite believe her. Then his face cracked into a wide, white smile, and he reached up and tugged her off balance so that she fell towards him. He caught her easily and swung her round until she was breathless and laughing helplessly.

At length he came to a stop, letting her slide down his wide body until her feet touched the ground. Before she could catch her breath he was kissing her, a happy, passionate kiss which she returned with fervour.

He moved his fingertips over her skin. “Your heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of your chest,” he said, and there was a question under his words.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in the crook of his neck, holding on tight so she wouldn’t fall off as the world spun so fast around her. Fast enough it was like he had never put her down.

“I
t’s exciting. I’m excited,” was all she could say, leaving tears on his skin as her throat ached and her heart overflowed from her eyes.

He backed off to press his forehead against hers and say: “Very brave. You won’t regret it,
Suzanne. We’ll be such good friends. Come on, let’s go. I want to introduce you to Andrew and the others.”

She broke away and turned her back. The words ‘good friends’ had brought her to earth with a thud, and she knew her reaction would show on her face.

“Just give me a moment to get my sunhat,” she said, crossing the short distance to the house and climbing the stairs. Quickly gathering a hat and sunblock, she returned, pulling the door shut behind her. He looked inquiringly at her as she passed him and walked briskly towards his car.

She smiled determinedly in response. He did not appear entirely convinced, but he said nothing more as they climbed in and he started the engine.

Swinging the car around in a circle to head down the driveway, there was silence between them, awkward in comparison to the jubilation of only a few minutes before. Suzanne occupied herself with busily spreading sunblock over every available part of her skin. Justin glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes. She kept her head down.

Finally: “What is it?” he asked her.

“What do you mean?” she asked cheerfully, without meeting his gaze.

“Don’t you want to meet my friends? I’m sure you’ll like them. They’re good people.”

“Of course I want to meet them. Why shouldn’t I?” She finally looked up, bolstering her composure against his penetrating surveillance. As she spoke she smoothed her palm, oily with lotion, just inside the neckline of her dress, and saw his eyes follow her movement, before flicking back to the road.

“Uh, I don’t know,” he said distracted, before seeming to remember his point. “You just didn’t seem as happy as you were.”

“Of course I’m happy. I’m going away on what sounds like a permanent holiday, interrupted only by painting. I’ll see the world, and I’ll be with my good friend Justin. What more could I possibly want?” she finished brightly.

He didn’t reply.

Chapter Twelve

As they walked through the door of his friends’ house, he called out loudly:

“Hey, Andrew . . . Nina . . . are you here? I’ve got someone I want you to meet.”

“Come on through,” came a masculine voice from a room to their left. “I’m in the kitchen. I’ve just finished making . . . oh hello,” he said as they came through the doorway and he saw
Suzanne. “I’m Andrew.” He straightened from his crouching position in front of the oven and walked to the bench, bearing a cake in his oven-mitted hands. Putting it on a wooden board, he whipped off his right mitt and held out a hand for her to shake.

“
Suzanne,” she replied, enjoying his warm, firm grip. He was fit and solidly compact, about her height and perhaps ten years older.

“Pleased to meet you,” he beamed genially at her. “Are you staying for lunch?”

“I don’t know,” she said, looking an enquiry at Justin.

“Sure,” he said.

“We’d love to,” she seconded.

“Great. Hope you like banana cake.”

“Absolutely.”

“We’ll have it for dessert then. Nina,” Andrew bellowed in the direction of the double doors
which were open onto an expanse of grass. “Come and say hello to Justin’s friend Suzanne.”

“Bring her out here, Justin,” called a lazy voice from outside. “I’ve got my patch of sunshine and I’m not moving.”

“You’ll have to excuse Nina,” Justin said in a deliberately carrying tone. “She does so much basking you’d swear she was a lizard.”

“Hey, you! I heard that,” came the playful reply. “Come out here and take your punishment like a man.”

He walked out into the garden, and Suzanne and Justin followed in his wake. Lying carelessly sprawled on a large beach towel, a paperback book propped open with a single finger, was a tanned, muscular woman sporting an engaging grin. She was dressed in denim cut-offs and a black T-shirt, and had sunglasses pushed half-way up her nose. Her sun-bleached hair was scooped up on top of her head, she wore no make-up and she had freckles.

“G’day,
Suzanne. I’m Nina,” she said.

“Hi.”

“So, you must be the reason Justin’s been sneaking out of here early every morning these last two weeks,” she said mischievously.

“She is,” Justin replied, putting his arm easily around
Suzanne’s waist. “In fact, she’s just agreed to go away with me.”

Nina’s jaw dropped.

“Cripes, Justin. You don’t hang about, do you!” she exclaimed, not bothering to hide her surprise. “Well in that case,” she continued, hoisting herself up off the ground and crossing the few feet dividing them, “I’d better come and say hello properly. After all you must be something special if you’ve got this lad head over heels so quickly.”

Suzanne
laughed. “One would assume so,” she said cheerfully, letting the assumption of Justin’s infatuation stand.

“Hey, Andrew,” said Nina, entering the house with a springy, energetic stride. “Did these two tell you they’re running off into the sunset together?”

“No they didn’t!” he exclaimed from behind the kitchen counter. “Sounds like fun!”

“The others should be here any minute,” said Nina. “They’re bringing steak and sausages, so we’ll be able to have a lovely barbecue.”

They moved to set up a table and chairs outside, and Suzanne and Justin joined in, carrying out plates, cups, knives and forks, and paper serviettes. Nina tossed a gigantic salad and Andrew whipped cream to go with the cake.