Total Immersion (5 page)

“It was an accident,” Adam said. “Literally. She ran into my car.”

“It wasn’t my fault. The guy behind me lost control and shoved me into Adam.” She didn’t add the private joke she and Adam shared about that statement—that three days later, he’d been shoving himself into her. He did glance at her sideways, though, and the corner of his mouth curled up.

“We exchanged information, and I called her a few days later,” he said.

He didn’t add that the implications of the kind of hands-on work he did didn’t fully register until they’d moved in together and she had to actually think about all the minute details of where he was and what he was doing. He also didn’t mention their arguments and how she’d finally used the wrong word—the one she couldn’t take back and he couldn’t forget. If nothing else, she had to make amends for that. She hadn’t planned to have sex with him for old time’s sake when she’d come here. Maybe she ought to find her
Cupcake
and thank him for giving her some artificial courage.

When the second silence had stretched everyone’s nerves, she turned to Jeff. “So, is there someone special in your life?”

“All my clients are special,” he answered.

Susan polished off her food and set her plate aside. “I gather that means no.”

Jeff sat in silence for a moment. “It’s kind of hard with what I do for a living.”

“Adam managed.” More or less. She’d thought she could manage, too. Or at least she’d tried.

“Yeah, and I did a fabulous job of it, didn’t I?” Adam tossed his napkin down, rose, and went across the room to the wet bar.

“If you’d been honest with me from the beginning . . .” she said.

“Sure, just drop it into the conversation.” He got a tumbler and poured a generous serving of scotch into it. “Would you like to go wine tasting? And, by the way, I have sex with women for money.”

“At least I would have known. I could have made an informed decision.” Bullshit. One look in those deep brown eyes and she’d fallen under some kind of spell. She wouldn’t usually have slept with a guy after one date, but Adam had been different in every way. And not just because he was so fucking good in bed. He’d given of himself emotionally from their first intimate touch.

“Hey, I’m sorry I brought it up,” Jeff said.

“Not your fault,” Adam said.

“Adam’s right about one thing, at least. It isn’t your fault.” She didn’t add it was Adam’s. Or hers.
Oh hell.

“Well, since I put my foot in it, I might as well add I think you’re a great couple,” Jeff said.

Adam downed a swallow of scotch and made a face.

“Thanks,” she said. “I guess.”

“Seems to me you two are ignoring the obvious,” Jeff said.

Adam propped a hip against the sideboard. “You’re going to explain it to us, I imagine.”

“Adam doesn’t have sex with the clients any longer,” Jeff said. “Problem solved.”

Adam drained his drink and set the glass down. “Not that simple.”

Of course it wasn’t. You didn’t say what she’d said to him and then turn on a dime back to everything being A-OK. Worse, they’d never talked about what might have been the biggest mistake of her life, letting her temper control her tongue. Besides, she wasn’t going to talk about it in front of Jeff and insult him, too.

“Were you ever planning to tell me you no longer sleep with the clients?” Susan asked softly.

Adam crossed his arms over his chest and stared into a corner of the room. She’d seen that look often enough. He was fighting saying something, mentally biting his tongue. He’d done that often enough when they’d fought. He hadn’t lashed out in anger the way she had.

“Never mind,” she said. “It doesn’t matter.”

“No, it does,” he replied. “I wanted to call you. But I wasn’t sure my new job would make any difference.”

God, she could kick herself. He
was
still carrying that last argument around inside him. Typical Adam. Slow to anger and even slower to forget. She could blow up and get over whatever was pissing her off. He ruminated on things that bothered him. She should have gotten to know him well enough to figure that out, too, before she’d committed herself to him. If she had, she might not have acted so stupidly.

“I still take care of clients from time to time,” he said.

“Like now,” she said.

“No, this is different,” he said.

“Maybe I should leave you two alone.” Jeff started to rise, but Adam crossed the room and put his hand on Jeff’s shoulder.

“Stick around,” Adam said. “The lady paid for two men. Two men she shall have.”

“I didn’t pay,” she said.

“That’s right. You didn’t. We’re comping you.” Adam leaned forward, his fists on the table, and glared at her. “That’s important, isn’t it?”

His dark gaze held more than a hint of anger, but it also reflected the pain she’d inflicted on him. She’d called him a whore. Someday he might forgive her, but would he ever forget?

Chapter Three

A
DAM GAVE HIMSELF
a mental kick in the butt. Why had he become angry with her? This wasn’t like one of their old fights where rationality lost out to screaming. Susan was obviously struggling, trying to communicate instead of hurling accusations as she had before. Everything about this woman got to him in a way no other lover had.

“It’s not important. I don’t care that you get paid. I only meant—” She visibly searched for words and then gave up.

“Well?” Adam prompted.

“I meant this is more than a business transaction.” She rested her palms against the table and stared up at him, her amber eyes wide.

“Damned straight it is,” he said.

“Okay, I think we need an exercise in communication,” Jeff said. “If you guys won’t let me leave, at least let me play therapist.”

“Hell. Why not?” Adam said. “We’re not getting anywhere this way.”

Adam went out on the terrace for a breather while Jeff assembled the things he needed for his “exercise” and Susan . . . well, something. This had been a bad idea, as he would have realized if he’d been thinking with his brain instead of his hormones. Worse, more than hormones had been involved. Seeing her again, hearing her voice, had tripped some switch inside him and carried him back to the day she’d crashed into him and his instincts had made him want to protect her. And then he’d wanted so much more.

He hopped up onto the edge of the hot tub and sat with his feet dangling above the tile floor. What in hell did he do now? Admit to her that he’d taken the manager position in hopes of fixing their relationship and then chickened out about calling her for fear that she still wouldn’t want him? After what she’d said to him, she should be the one mending things, not him. Still, if he could have her laughter again and find her in his bed, sleeping with the light on to welcome him home, if he could slip into the shower and make love with her whenever he wanted, that would be worth overlooking the fact that she’d been horribly wrong.

But he couldn’t go back to the way things had been between them. Not with both of them hurting all the time. Bottom line, they’d move forward or not at all.

“It’s ready. You can join us, Your Highness,” Jeff said from the doorway to the bedroom.

“Smart ass,” Adam said and followed Jeff inside.

Jeff had had the remnants of their meal cleared away, and Susan was nowhere to be found. With a smug grin, Jeff turned and went into the bathroom. So this was his idea of follow the leader, was it? Fine. Adam could play.

When he entered the bathroom, he found Susan was there as well. Jeff still wore his robe. When Susan noticed Adam had come in, she shrugged out of hers and let it drop to the floor.

All the air rushed out of his lungs. He’d seen her naked countless times before, and only minutes ago he’d watched as she’d put the robe on. The sight of her really shouldn’t take him by surprise. And yet, this time, she seemed to ask for his approval as she stood silently, her arms at her sides.

Her neck had a graceful arc to it, leading down to delicate shoulder blades. Dark-rose nipples topped breasts neither too small nor too large. They were beautifully rounded and firm. He’d never made good on his offer to spend hours adoring them. Every time he tried, she’d become too excited for mere foreplay, and he’d followed her into oblivion. He’d probably have to spend a lifetime getting to know every inch of her.

Her ribs showed more than he would have liked, thanks to the constant dieting. But then, he’d always enjoyed plump women while she liked to wear the latest fashions. Her hips, at least, still had the same fullness, which meant her ass was as glorious as the one he’d fallen in love with. And at the juncture of her thighs lay the curling dark hairs that hid her treasure. Both the home of the tiny organ that gave her such pleasure and the welcome for his rigid cock.

He became erect immediately, ready for her again. Glancing at his pelvis quickly, she checked him out while pretending not to. To help her, he shifted, allowing the two sides of his robe to fall apart. Her answering smile told him she’d gotten the message. He wanted her. He’d always want her, no matter how many arguments they might have or how many cruel words were thrown.

“I thought maybe the two of you ought to give each other a bath,” Jeff said.

“We were all just in the hot tub,” Adam said.

“Soapy water, washing backs. All very therapeutic,” Jeff responded.

“I didn’t ask you to be my psychoanalyst,” Adam said.

“Madeline assigned me. More or less.”

He glanced toward Susan. “What do you think?”

She shrugged. “I’ve done sillier things.”

“Bath it is.” Adam shrugged out of his robe and bent to turn on the faucets. When he had the water the temperature he liked, he climbed in and reached to give Susan a hand. She had to step down, as the tub was sunken into the marble floor. Soon they were leaning back against the porcelain and staring up at the skylight as water swirled around them.

Ever helpful, Jeff turned on the jets and sat on the floor with his back against the wall.

“Aren’t you coming in?” Susan asked.

“This is for you two,” Jeff answered.

“Then, aren’t you leaving?” Adam said.

Jeff laughed. “I’m the facilitator. I’m going to help you two through what’s been keeping you apart.”

Like hell. If Adam were going to get in touch with his feelings or explore his inner child or other such crap, he wouldn’t do it in front of an audience. If he and Susan had unfinished business, they could damned well take care of it themselves.

“Thanks, but we don’t need your help.”

Jeff stretched out his legs and crossed one foot over the other. “If not mine, you need somebody’s.”

“I don’t see why,” Adam said.

“Look, you two are perfectly nice people. You obviously care about each other,” Jeff said. “You just need a nudge to bring you closer.”

“Closer?” Adam repeated. “I just made love to her.”

“You had sex,” Susan said quietly. “As part of your job.”

“You’re not part of my job, Susan. Damn it all. You’ve never been part of my job.” Great. He’d raised his voice, and she bit her lip and looked away. If she started crying, he’d shrivel up and slip between the grout and the wall.

“Jeff, I know you’re trying to help, but this isn’t a good idea.” Jeff had no inkling what he was dealing with. Adam didn’t understand the whole thing himself. Their relationship had involved a lot of hurt on both sides. That much he knew all too well.

“I’m sorry,” Susan said, still not looking at him.

“Sorry for what?” Adam said. “This was Jeff’s lame idea.”

“Not that. I’m sorry my jealousy broke us up,” she said. “I’m sorry for all the times I screamed at you.”

“Aw, honey, don’t. This isn’t necessary.”

“It is,” she said, almost in a whisper.

“Wash her back while she talks to you,” Jeff said.

What the hell? It couldn’t hurt. Adam reached to the soap dish and found a bar that smelled, well, purple, for lack of a better description. After lathering his hands, he set it aside and slid the suds over Susan’s back. Her hair got in his way, so he eased it over her shoulders and worked his thumbs into her spine, splaying his fingers over her ribs.

She tipped her head forward, accepting his touch. She looked so small. Delicate. As if he could break her if he weren’t careful. She’d always affected him that way from the first time he’d laid eyes on her. She’d been frightened, her eyes nearly big enough to take up half her face. He could have pounded on the guy who’d smashed their cars together except for the fact that they otherwise would never have met.

“I should have known our relationship could never work out,” she said. “I could have saved us all that pain.”

“By not becoming involved with me at all?” he said. “You think that wouldn’t have hurt?”

“I don’t know. Maybe less.”

“I don’t regret anything.” Even though the suds had disappeared, he continued stroking her back. After all this time, it felt damned good. Somehow, this was more intimate than the sex they’d just shared. He wouldn’t tell Jeff that, though. No point giving him a puffed-up opinion of his counseling skills.

“Nothing?” she asked. “Nothing at all?”

She meant the last argument, of course, the one that had finally gone too far. In her anger, she’d said the absolute worst thing she could have. She’d regretted it immediately and tried to take it back, but once a word like that was out there, it stayed.

“Nothing,” he lied.

He shouldn’t be dishonest with her, but he’d never planned to discuss that again and certainly not in front of someone else. She stiffened beneath his fingers. Jeff wouldn’t notice. No one who didn’t have his hands on her could feel the tension.

“Do you have anything you’d like to say, Adam?” Jeff asked.

Lots. If he could form the words. This time, Susan took the soap and lathered it between her palms. He turned to give her his back. Soon, her fingers were digging into tension he hadn’t known was there.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier about my job,” he said. “I guess I couldn’t right at first, but later . . .”

In the euphoria following their first lovemaking, time had slipped by so quickly. Still, they had spent a lot of it talking between bites of delivery pizza and mocha-fudge-ripple ice cream and sugar cookies. Deep inside, he must have feared she’d reject him, although he hadn’t admitted it to himself at the time. Idiot that he’d been, he’d felt so sure he could make everything work.