Twelve Truths and a Lie (15 page)

M
y pager had been blowing
up the past twenty-four hours. Between Darius and another family in crisis, it had been one hell of a day. I’d been to two home visits already this morning.

Darius was suspended from school for striking his teacher and would be attending a hearing in a few days to determine expulsion. Cameron was definitely on my mind, and I wondered how he was feeling since he had been the person assaulted.

Darius’s mother was shaken and angry, and Darius was refusing to speak about the incident. He looked so anxious and unsteady and sad. Upset with himself for losing control, I supposed. That was one messed up situation.

I considered calling Cameron last night but literally fell into bed exhausted after fielding phone calls all day. I settled on a simple text that said,
Thinking of you
.

And given his one-word response:
Thanks
, I imagined he was just as drained and overwhelmed.

Besides, I didn’t feel like I had all the facts, even after my home visit with Darius. I didn’t want to cross the line from professional to too personal. But the incident sat heavy in my gut, so I could only imagine what it was doing to Cameron. I couldn’t help wondering if it had only made his decision to take that other teaching position seem more promising.

Regardless, he had to continue teaching in that classroom for the time being. Educators amazed me in that sense, because they always had a captive audience. I could hide away in my office and take a breather. Teachers never got that option. A kid could punch you one minute and you’d be up instructing math the next.

At least it was a Friday. But it was also a Flanagan’s night and I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to go out. I also wasn’t certain how Sydney was supposed to show her face in that crowd. So maybe the best idea was to just bag it for this month.

As the afternoon wore on, I got a text from Nicole mirroring my same thoughts. But then Sydney messaged that she needed a night out. She wanted to get out of her house and her own head, apparently. I wondered if seeing Maddie might help her make some sort of decision one way or another. It was bound to be awkward all the way around.

Once I got home, I dressed halfheartedly in jeans, a T-shirt, and my blue Tom’s sneakers, feeling like I needed to be as comfortable as possible. I pulled my hair off my shoulders and up into a ponytail, and with a final look in the mirror, I was out the door.

I expected Sydney to be sporting a solemn expression and bloodshot eyes when I picked her up, but instead, she seemed to have pulled herself together. In fact, she looked amazing. And it was like every guy in the bar had noticed her glow, as well. Go figure.

As we all gathered at our regular table, Sydney kept her gaze averted from Maddie, but he could scarcely take his eyes off her. I felt a pang in my stomach, wondering if Maddie could have it any other way, he’d want to date her and see where it might lead them.

I also felt Cameron’s gaze from across the table, over an empty pitcher of beer and a basket of wings. When he first arrived, I made sure to check him out, to see if there were any lasting marks from that altercation with Darius yesterday.

“You okay?” I mouthed to him.

He nodded, throwing me a crooked grin that sent heat licking across my spine.

I ordered a cobb salad minus the avocados from the healthy side of the menu, attempting to stay away from the greasy food tonight. Despite my best efforts to remain Zen in body, mind, and spirit, everything simply felt off-kilter.

Within minutes, the place became packed and the server was nowhere to be found, so I got up to grab a drink of my own from the bar. I wasn’t in the mood for beer tonight. “Anyone else?”

“No, thanks,” Nicole mumbled in a funk of her own over something that happened with the kids and their sitter before they left for their night out. Michael was rubbing soothing circles across her back while involved in a conversation with Maddie, who was seated next to him.

“I’ll come with you,” Cameron said at the last minute, standing up and following behind me to the bar.

“You’re quiet tonight,” he said as he stood in the space behind me at the bar. It was the only available spot I could squeeze myself into.

“We all are, aren’t we?” I looked at him over my shoulder. “I think everybody had a rough week.”

“I know I did,” he said, grimacing.

“No kidding. I want to talk about it,” I said, after flagging down the bartender and ordering an imported beer for Cameron and a mixed drink for me. “But not here.”

“No, of course not,” he said as I twisted my body in the tight space, just narrowly avoiding getting elbowed in the gut by the couple standing next to me.

“But you look okay,” I said, checking out his gorgeous face, ear to ear. I had the urge to swipe my thumb across his plump bottom lip, but I restrained myself. “So it wasn’t damaging.”

“More startling than anything,” he said and chewed at the side of his mouth, almost shyly. He was wearing a green shirt that brought out the gold flecks in his amber eyes, and I couldn’t help getting lost in them.

We locked gazes, and I wished right then that it was a different kind of Friday night so that I could enjoy his company one-on-one. The bartender delivered our beverages, and Cameron thrust his card forward to pay. Instead of arguing, I said a quiet thanks and sipped at my drink. It was too strong, but I welcomed the sting of alcohol, hoping that soon enough, it would soothe my frazzled nerves.

I had a momentary recollection right then of my mother at the kitchen table with a half empty bottle of vodka beside her. She had just broken up with her latest crummy boyfriend, and I wondered if that was what drinking had represented to her—a temporary escape from reality. But addiction held you captive and wrecked your life, and I wished I knew what had triggered her to fall off the wagon after so many good years together.

Was it her children growing up and moving on? I understood that hollow feeling all too well, but I couldn’t continue feeling guilty for the choices she’d made. I needed to fill up my own life with things that mattered.

“Cheers,” Cameron said, breaking me out of my thoughts as he got his wallet situated in his jeans pocket.

“To a better week,” I said, clinking his glass, glad that I was no longer having similar dark thoughts about him and his bad habits. I knew now that he had it all together again, maybe even better than me.

“You look pretty tonight,” he said, after taking a long sip.

“Thank you.” I reached out to squeeze his arm, biting back the comment I was going to make about dressing comfortably tonight. I had learned that about myself this past year, as well—that I bordered on way too self-deprecating. “You’re not too bad yourself.”

“I don’t want this to be awkward between us, Aurora,” he said, stammering over his words. “What happened was—”

I was almost going to interrupt him, fill in the blanks, but instead I stayed quiet, desperately wanting to hear what he had to say. Yet not, if it was going to be a supreme letdown. Or if there was a
But
following it. Especially if the
But
preceded his moving away.

“It was…ah hell,” he said, a wash of color darkening his cheeks. “I won’t lie; I think about it often.”

His gaze darted to my lips and away.

I cleared my throat, which had suddenly gone dry with the impulsive urge to kiss him. “Same here.”

“Yeah?” he asked as he was bumped from behind and his hand darted to my hip for leverage. My skin prickled beneath his touch, and I had the need to bury my head in his neck and smell him.

“For sure. Cameron, I—” I bit my lip and looked away, unable to hold his gaze, it was so intense. I wanted to say so many things, like how I wished we could see each other more often, that he wasn’t leaving town, or how I had the burning desire to discover if there could be something more between us down the road.

Right then, Maddie walked up and thumped Cameron on the back. “What does it take to get a beer around here?”

“This place is definitely packed,” I said and then took the opportunity to study him. Maddie seemed fidgety, as well, his eyes darting around the space. We all were restless it seemed, and as Cameron’s arm brushed against mine, I nearly twitched.

I looked across the room at Sydney and saw that she had finally crumpled. Her fingers were shredding the napkin in front of her, and she was only just keeping the tears at bay. She was not the confident girl who had walked through that door. It was time to call it a night. My gaze met Nicole’s, and she motioned to me with the same idea.

Maddie had found an open spot down the bar to order a beer, and I took a final sip from my drink and turned to place the half empty glass behind me on the bar top.

“I think we’re going to have to take off,” I said in Cameron’s ear, and something resembling disappointment flashed across his face. But I didn’t have time to think about it because I needed to take care of my friend.

Except when I looked over my shoulder again, Sydney was against the far wall with Maddie. They were speaking casually, and I had to wonder what in the hell he was saying to her. I knew he was attracted to her, and I hoped to God he wasn’t asking for another hookup because he’d more than likely get a drink in his face. If not from Sydney, then from Nicole.

“Hey, you seem distracted,” Cameron said against my hair and I couldn’t help shivering. Intimacy seemed to come so easily on our weekend away, and now my hands itched to touch him, hold him, and intertwine our fingers.

“That’s because I am,” I mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

“Does it have to do with what happened between—”

“Absolutely not,” I said, shaking my head. “It has nothing to do with you.”

I had said that a bit harshly, and he braced his jaw as if to bite off a snide response.

“I really wish I could tell you,” I said looking over his shoulder and watching my friend as she smiled coyly at Maddie now. He must’ve been quite the charmer. “Then it would all make sense.”

“Would it?” He wore a puzzled look on his face.

I looked back at him, noting the uncertainty in his eyes. “I think so.”

Without even thinking it through, I leaned back, my shoulder making contact with his chest, and he seemed to relax into the touch. He felt warm and steady, exactly what I needed in that moment.

I wished I could talk to him, spill all of it. How stressed I was about work and one case in particular, besides Darius. A family that was all kinds of chaotic and messed up and I wasn’t sure how to help them.

Also about my friend Sydney and her very serious dilemma that was about to change a bunch of lives. And about how I couldn’t get Cameron out of my head, especially at night. Even
Richard
wasn’t able to help lately.

“Do you want to…” he said and rushed a quick hand through his hair like he was completely flustered.

“What?” I mouthed, since the noise level had risen with more bodies being pressed together in the small space.

“I don’t know,” he breathed out heavily, the warm gust hitting the nape of my neck and the hairs there stood at attention. “Want to hang out again soon? It’s going to sound crazy, but…I miss you.”

“Me, too.” My chest squeezed tight. “Start up our club again?”

“We
are
the founders.” His smile was so wistful that I melted.

“Do we sign up new members?” I asked, looking over the throng of strangers to Sydney and Maddie in the corner and he followed my line of sight. “You know, so they can continue the club after you…we…”

I couldn’t even say the words. I wasn’t ready to let him go yet. At least there were a couple months left before he had to leave. Maybe there was still time to figure things out.

“I don’t think our club has any more room,” he whispered against my ear and my heart leapt to my throat.

As our eyes met and lingered, I felt his thumb skim briefly across my abdomen. I nearly liquefied to the floor.

A bark of laughter flew from Sydney and floated across the room.

“Do you think our friends are into each other?” he asked, nodding in their direction.

“They might be,” I said, shrugging. “But it’s a bit of a dead end, right?”

“Guess so.” God, he didn’t even know the half of it.

A
urora
and I returned to daily texts, but I hadn’t yet broached the topic of seeing her again. I had met my parents at my great-aunt’s twenty-fifth wedding anniversary celebration. It was about a three-hour drive to a small town called Marietta on Saturday night, and then I stayed over to visit longer with my family.

My parents had sprung on me last minute that they would be flying in for the event and I considered bagging it, but I hadn’t seen them since the holidays. They loved living in North Carolina near the ocean and one of my married brothers, and though we talked pretty frequently, I still missed having them in my daily life.

I’d admit, I wished I had asked Aurora to accompany me on the trip. It would’ve been great to have her meet my relatives. I had a feeling she’d fit right in. But that would’ve only made whatever we were to each other that much more confusing.

Work was busy this week, and the kids in the classroom were feeling the loss of Darius. Even Christopher was quieter than usual, likely realizing what a detrimental role he had played in the incident that occurred last week.

Outside of those couple of bad days, Darius had been a positive driving force in this group. Problem was, once he left school grounds, I had no way of knowing what was happening with his family. I did reach out once to his mother, but she never returned my call and I figured she didn’t want to talk to me—especially if her child was going to be expelled.

I had asked Aurora how Darius was holding up. She said fine but seemed distracted by the other families on her caseload. One client in particular that she mentioned was in crisis mode, and it had to do with uncovering sexual abuse from his childhood. I didn’t know how she maintained sanity through all of that heartache, but that was the exact reason why it took special people to work in that field. And Aurora was definitely special.

Me: How was your day?

Aurora: Ugh, drove all the way out to a family visit on the east side, and the only one home was the older brother who was just released from prison.

Me: Ouch, so the family was a no-show? At their own home?

Aurora: Right. The brother asked if I wanted to wait because they had gone to a church activity, but I said no, and he looked relieved.

For some reason, a red flag went up in my head.

Me: What was he in prison for?

Aurora: Assault, I guess. And the session tonight was supposed to be about integrating him back to the home. You know, open communication and all that.

Me: Well, they missed out, didn’t they?

Aurora: Just hate to reschedule and drive all the way out there again. The frustrations of the job.

I wanted to ask her more questions, especially about her own safety in these situations, but we’d been around that block before and I was pretty sure I’d only sound like an overprotective ass. Besides, in this case, she needed an understanding ear.

Me: Want to grab dinner or a drink on Friday?

Aurora: Sounds great. But somewhere other than Flanagan’s?

Me: Cool. We can figure out where later.

On Friday, Aurora wasn’t returning my texts, and I wondered if she had gotten too busy or had changed her mind.

When she still didn’t respond by the end of the day, I don’t know what made me do it, but I headed straight over to her place. I had only been to her apartment that one time, but I spotted her car in the parking lot and now feared that she fell ill and needed help.

I walked straight in behind a furniture delivery person and up the two flights of stairs. After I knocked on her door, I got no response.

“Aurora, it’s Cameron,” I said in a louder voice. “I was worried. If you tell me you’re okay, I’ll leave, especially if you just want to be alone.”

I waited a good three minutes, knocking intermittently, and considered whether a friend had picked her up for a night out. Feeling foolish, I turned to leave and heard the click of the lock as I made it to the top step.

When she lugged open the door, her eyes were swollen, her hair was messy, and my heart dropped to my stomach.

“What the hell happened?” I asked, lightly grasping her cheek, my thumb swiping away a tear.

She practically dissolved into my arms, winding her fingers around my neck, and her face dipping to my shoulder.

I stepped inside her apartment, pushed the door shut with my foot, and half carried her to the couch.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you,” she mumbled into my chest, as I sat down with her propped in my lap. “My phone died, I didn’t bring my charger cord, and I just…I had a horrible day.”

“No, it’s okay,” I replied, drawing her against me and rubbing her back. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

She took a shuddering breath and pushed the hair from her eyes as she adjusted her worn CWRU T-shirt. I noticed for the first time that she was also wearing a ratty pair of sweats, but if she minded my seeing her like this, she didn’t let it show.

She was too wrapped up in her own grief, too much inside of her own head, and the fact that she let me inside at all was all that mattered to me. I wanted to be there for her, to know all the parts of her, happy and sad.

My pulse beat rapidly, wondering what had her so distressed. Had she lost somebody? Did it have to do with her friend or her job?

“Remember the other day when I told you I drove to the east side but the family wasn’t there?” she asked, her lips trembling.

I twisted my shaky hand through her curls, which looked a darker auburn today.

“Yeah,” I said, my heart sitting like a stone in my throat. “And the brother who was released from jail answered the door?”

She nodded her head vigorously. Fuck, what was she about to confess to me?

“A crime had occurred in that home,” she said so low, I leaned forward to hear her better. “In one of the upstairs bedrooms.”

My fingers stiffened on her shoulders as a chill swept through me. She was deliberately keeping the details from me, which I understood was protocol, but in this circumstance, she needed to talk this through with somebody and let her emotions out.

“Was it a crime against a family member?” I asked, low and steady, hoping to become the rock she could lean on in this situation.

She shook her head and my gut tightened even further.

“So,” I said trying to fit the pieces together in my own head. “You’re saying the brother wasn’t alone that night?”

“No, he…he…” And then she dissolved into tears. “It’s so terrible. That poor girl.”

“The sister?” No, that wasn’t right, she’d said it wasn’t a family member.

“A teenager from the neighborhood.” A sob tore from her throat. “He…he did that to her.”

“Holy fuck.” I didn’t think I wanted to know exactly what he’d done, but I could only imagine it was some form of a sexual assault. I grabbed her and held her tighter, kissing the top of her head.

She had told me he invited her inside to wait that night. Why would he do that? I couldn’t even allow my mind to go there, to that dark place. Not with Aurora, not ever.

“You’re safe here with me,” I murmured against her hair. “I’ll always keep you safe.”

I held and rocked her for a long while as she shuddered and sobbed through her emotions. I reminded her intermittently that I would protect her the best way I could, though I wasn’t sure how.

I understood how unprotected women felt in their everyday lives, my mother having reinforced that notion early on. It was a very unfortunate reality, and I’d talk to Aurora about her safety another day. Tonight, she needed to feel secure, even tucked away in her own home.

“I trust you, Cameron,” she mumbled into my shoulder. “More than I’ve ever trusted any man before.”

My own tears stung my eyes as I was overcome with an emotion that yanked profoundly at my core. I knew in that instant that I had fallen for Aurora. Had probably already been halfway there at the reunion. I wanted to be with her, protect her, and care for her.

I adjusted my hold and sank back on the couch, tugging her on top of me. I kissed her salty cheeks and eyelashes, the wetness tickling my lips. She gazed at me with watery eyes as I briefly swiped my mouth across hers, needing to feel her lips one more time.

Yanking the afghan from the armrest the best way I could from that angle, I draped it over the top of us. She sighed contentedly and relaxed into my chest.

After a few minutes of feeling her shallow breaths against my neck, her heartbeat thumping in time with mine, I reached for the remote on her coffee table. I flipped through the channels and settled on a comedy in order to give her sad, dark, and fearful thoughts some relief. Mine, as well.

She fell asleep halfway through the middle of
Dumb and Dumber
. I placed one foot on the ground, gaining some leverage so I could stand up and help her to her room.

“Please don’t go yet,” she slurred into my shoulder. “I can’t…”

It hadn’t occurred to me that she might not want to be alone. Even though I felt like I had barged in on her this evening, maybe she would’ve eventually called me or one of her other friends for company.

“Want me to stay longer?” I whispered in her ear.

“Please,” she said into the crook of my neck. “So good having you here.”

I lifted her up easily and carried her to her room. I pulled back the sheet and laid her down in bed. “I’ll stay until you fall sleep and then I’ll let myself out.”

She reached for my hand and tugged, patting the empty space beside her. “Can you hold me?”

Damn, this woman. I’d hold her until the end of time if she’d let me.

“Okay, sweet girl,” I whispered and she shivered. “I can do that.”

I rearranged the covers and settled her against my chest. Nothing had ever felt better. I stroked her hair until her breaths evened out, and we both drifted into sleep.