Twins for the Bull Rider (15 page)

“Wasn't it great, Aunt Cissy?”

A tug on her shirttail focused Cissy's attention back on the boys. Jayden clutched one of her hands, Kayden the other. Smiles engulfed both their faces as they looked up at her. They bounced and chattered with excitement, contentment shining from their eyes.

Cissy froze. She knew exactly what price Crystal had paid.

* * *

D
OMINIC
SCRAWLED
HIS
signature across what seemed like the millionth T-shirt and shifted his weight to his other leg. The first round had ended, and he was on the ass end of an hour of fan meet and greets. He glanced up, scanning the stands but couldn't pinpoint Cissy or the boys among the scattering of attendees weaving their way to the exits.

He sighed. At least the crowd had dwindled down to a handful of people and the arena was almost empty again.

“Can I get a quick picture, Dom?”

Dominic glanced up, smarting at the sharp pain slashing through his neck, and nodded at the redhead waving a cell phone in front of her chest. Handing off the shirt to a fan, he propped his hands on his hips and assumed the preferred public relations stance.

“Fantastic,” the redhead gushed.

The phone flashed and clicked, leading Dominic to relax. But she thrust the phone into her friend's hands and rushed over, pressing against his side and wrapping an arm around his waist. He smothered a wince as she bumped into his tender ribs.

She blinked up at him and grinned. “Just one more with me, okay?”

Dominic complied, disentangling her hands from him after the phone's next flash and easing away.

“Sorry, that's it.” He tipped his hat and turned, his eyes scouring the stands once more.

Still no sign of Cissy or the boys. He rubbed a hand over his side, trying to smooth away the soreness. It'd been a good ride. One of his best, even. But damned if he couldn't wait to get off the dirt and back on solid ground with Cissy. He'd tried several times to snag a glimpse of her before and after his bout with Chaos but had been unsuccessful.

“If you're looking for someone, I think I found 'em.”

Logan appeared at his side, grinning. He held Kayden and Jayden back with a finger in their belt loops. The boys cackled, straining against his hold and waving their arms and legs in circles in an effort to escape.

“That was awesome, Mr. Dominic.” Kayden beamed up at him with both arms outstretched.

Dominic laughed, reaching down gingerly to slip his hands under the boy's armpits and haul him up to his chest. Kayden wrapped his legs tight around his waist and snuggled close. The soreness in Dominic's ribs increased to a painful throb.

“Just awesome,” Kayden whispered again. He pecked a kiss against Dominic's cheek and planted his face in his neck.

Dominic smiled. Any pain he'd felt receded. That warm peace returned, filling his chest.

Jayden managed to escape Logan's hold and clutch Dominic's leg. “Yeah. It was great, Mr. Dominic.”

“I'm glad y'all enjoyed it,” he murmured, smoothing a hand over Jayden's blond head at his thigh.

“Careful, boys.”

A gentle hand on his lower back accompanied Cissy's voice. Heat rushed through Dominic's body as she lifted Kayden away from his chest, her touch brushing over him.

“Mr. Dominic had a rough ride.” She lowered Kayden to the ground then whispered in Dominic's ear, “How bad are you hurt?”

Dominic nuzzled her temple, then curled his hand around her nape. “I'm fine. Much better now, in fact.”

She issued a broken smile, her lips barely moving.

“What did you think?” he asked, hating the uncertainty in his tone.

A real smile appeared, her face blushing. “It was—” she moved her hands as though trying to catch the words “—beautiful.”

Beautiful
. He didn't think anyone had ever used that word in reference to bull riding. But the way it rolled off her tongue had his toes curling in his boots.

“Almost perfection, son,” Pop added.

Kayden skipped over to snag one of Pop's hands, swinging it between them. “Yeah,” Kayden quipped. “It was perfect.”

Dominic grunted. “I wouldn't go that far.” He rolled his shoulders. “I'm gonna have to soak for at least an hour tonight to get through the next round tomorrow.”

Jayden's hands tightened around his leg, his head swiveling to the side. “Can't we stay for tomorrow, Aunt Cissy?”

Dominic tensed, his eyes shooting back to Cissy's. “You're leaving?”

She nodded, nibbling on her lower lip. “We need to get back. The boys may not look like it but they're worn out.”

“So we'll take them to the hotel and put them to bed.” His fingers massaged her neck with nervous motions. “They'll be good to go by morning.”

“Yeah,” Kayden added. “We'll be good to go by morning, Aunt Cissy.”

Cissy shook her head, opening her mouth to speak but no sound emerged.

“Logan, why don't you and I take the boys outside and get some fresh air?” Pop wiggled his free hand at Jayden, who reluctantly released Dominic to amble over to him. Jerking his chin at Cissy as he passed, Pop added, “We'll get settled in the truck and be ready for whatever you decide.”

“Thanks,” she mumbled.

Dominic just caught the hard set of Logan's jaw before they all moved away, making their way toward the exit. The boys trailed behind Logan and Pop, Jayden craning his neck to keep sight of Dominic over his shoulder with a worried expression. Dominic's anxiety heightened and his hand tightened at the back of Cissy's neck.

“What's going on here, Cissy? I thought you knew this was a two-day event.”

She nodded, gaze straying over his left shoulder. “I knew. I just... I need to get the boys settled.”

“So we'll get them back and settled tomorrow,” Dominic said. “After the last round.”

“That's not what I mean,” she whispered, eyeing the few stragglers milling about the arena.

“Look at me.” He gripped her upper arms, tugging her closer to him. “I'm right here. Talk to me.”

She looked at him then, those blue eyes of hers wary but determined. His gut knotted.

“Please understand,” she said. “I need to get the boys settled. This trip with you was fun but—” she licked her lips “—we have to get settled.”

“I'm still not following you.” He dipped his head to peer at her. To try to make some sense out of what she was saying.

Cissy stiffened, drawing herself to her full height. “I mean this is good fun for a weekend every now and then, but that's all.”

“Good fun for a weekend?” Even he winced at the bitterness in his tone. He drew his head back. “This is who I am, Cissy.”

She bristled. “This isn't who you are. This is just something you do.”

“Okay, I'll give you that. It's something I do. But it's important to me.”

“I know it is, and I'm not trying to take that away from you—”

“Then, what are you trying to do?”

“I'm trying to get you to understand this won't turn out to be just a two-day event. It'll be one weekend before another, then another. Month after month. Just like you've spent all the ones before this summer. I can't plan my nephews' schedule around your trips,” she blurted out. “They need to be settled. Somewhere permanent. Someplace that's home. This isn't the kind of life Kayden and Jayden can flourish in. And if it's not the right kind of life for them, then it's not the right kind of life for me.”

That he understood. It hit its mark. A shot right to his chest. His hands dropped from her to hang at his sides.

“So you're giving me an ultimatum,” he said. “That's what's really going on here.”

Her face softened. “It wasn't intentional. I didn't come out here with this planned.” She stepped forward, smoothing her hands over his vest. “The last thing I'd ever want to do is force you to choose between me and a career you love.”

“But you're doing it anyway,” he forced out. “You're making me choose.”

He tried, without success, to suppress the sneer that crept over his face. He'd always known how fragile and fickle a woman's love was. And it always came at a price.

“You say you love me but threaten to leave,” he continued. “Plan to walk away before we even really start. What the hell kind of love is that?”

Her face paled, her expression contorting with pain. Immediately, regret flooded him, closing his throat and burning his eyes. She drew back from him and wrung her hands in the hem of her shirt.

“I don't know,” Cissy whispered. “I've never been in love before. Maybe it's wrong but that's how I feel.” She looked up then, studying him. “I'm being forced to choose, too. I have to choose between being with you or doing right by the boys. I love them just as much as I love you. And the last thing they need is another adult putting someone else before them.” A breath shuddered from her. “My sister loved them but she did it all the time. Every time she took off with Jason she put her needs before theirs. I can't do that to them, Dominic. I won't.”

His jaw clenched so tight, he thought his teeth would shatter. “And here's Jason again. The root of all your problems, right? Forgive me, Cissy, but he didn't come off as the devil incarnate when I met him.”

Her eyes flashed. “I never said he was—”

“You made it plain all the same.” Dominic balled his fists.
A good man
. He strained to hold back the words rising in his throat but he was desperate for reassurance. “Maybe I don't see myself as all that different from Jason. Maybe we're more alike than you think.”

“Maybe you are,” she said softly.

His heart stopped. Her response killed him. He had to inhale to reassure himself he was still alive.

“Right now, you're both on a stage,” Cissy gestured to the empty stadium surrounding them. “The only difference is, instead of holding on to a mic, you're holding on to a bull.”

Dominic swallowed hard, his ears ringing. “This is who I am,” he rasped.

She shook her head, her eyes welling. “This is just a distraction. A distraction from the risks you're too afraid to take.”

“You don't think I take a risk every time I climb on the back of a bull?”

“Yes, but that's a physical risk.” She brushed a tear away, eyeing his frame. “We both know you can handle that. I'm talking about a bigger risk. One that hurts you on the inside.” Her chest jerked on a silenced sob. “I hurt, too. It hurts to face this. But at least I'm willing to take a chance. At least I'm trying.”

He couldn't speak. The three words he wanted to say lay trapped somewhere deep inside him, beyond his reach. Her hand wrapped around his forearm, her fingers trembling.

“I know what I'm up against. I know what you have here. But I love you more than any number of people that could fit into this place. So do the boys.” She squeezed his arm. “You told me you wanted it all. That you wanted everything. So do I. That's probably not fair. I shouldn't expect it. Shouldn't even ask. But I guess, deep down, I was hoping I wouldn't have to ask. I was hoping you would offer to take a chance on me, too.”

Dominic couldn't look at her. He was too empty. Too afraid.

All he could see was that she'd chosen to rank him low on her list of priorities. Chosen to walk away from him. And taken the boys with her. Because she didn't need him.

He hadn't measured up for Cissy. Hadn't measured up for Logan. Or his mom. Could never measure up.

Dominic shut his eyes to keep it all at bay. He refused to allow another bitter memory to take up residence beside the one he already carried. Silence descended, the air heavy between them. He tensed at the soft press of her mouth against his cheek.

“Goodbye, Dominic.” Her voice broke, her hair brushing his face as she turned away.

Bye, Dominic
. His cracked heart gaped into a chasm then crumbled to pieces.

He did look then. Forced his eyes open to watch her walk across the arena and slip out of sight. And cursed himself a thousand times over for a fool.

That was all he could be. A fool. Certainly not a good man. Not even just a man. Because if he were a man of any worth, the two women he loved wouldn't have been able to break his hold and leave him behind. And he wouldn't have let them.

No. He wasn't a man. Because what kind of man was too afraid to love?

Chapter Eleven

Rain pelted against the windshield and roof of the truck, drowning out Logan's commentary and, thankfully, Dominic's thoughts. The scene outside the passenger window blurred and smeared under the torrential downpour. Even in the-early morning hours everything seemed enveloped in darkness. Dominic rubbed his hand over his forehead in an attempt to ease the throbbing headache he'd had since they'd left the Gwinnett Center.

The invitational had ended sooner than expected. He'd placed first and earned another check, which he'd promptly shoved in his back pocket. It'd only taken him a handful of minutes to gather up his gear, locate Logan and get the hell out. A restless night in a motel room had him rising before the crack of dawn and urging Logan back on the road.

Only, he'd forgotten how long the ride home would be. Without the boys. Without Cissy. And, at this point, was there really any reason to return anyway?

“...stop to get a bite?”

Dominic blinked, only catching the tail end of Logan's question. He looked away from the window and shook his head. “No. Just keep going.”

His skin prickled as Logan's eyes bore into him before he turned his attention back to the interstate. The truck growled as it accelerated, the windshield wipers swiping with fury. A green sign emerged ahead.

Dominic straightened in his seat and gestured toward the ramp. “Take the next exit.”

Logan narrowed his eyes on the sign then glanced at him in confusion. “That's not it. Our exit isn't for another fifty miles or so.”

“Your exit,” Dominic replied. “Mine is this one. Next event's about four hundred miles in the other direction. Colt always camps out at the motel off this ramp when he's on the circuit. I'll catch a ride with him.”

Logan slowed the truck and turned to gape at him. “What the hell, Dom?”

“Just take the next exit.”

“Pop's waiting for you at the ranch. Not to mention Cissy and—”

“Take the exit, Logan.” The turn was almost on them. Dominic jerked forward, rapping his knuckles on the windshield. “You're gonna miss it.”

Logan pounded his foot on the brake and jerked the truck to the shoulder of the road. Coins in the cup holder clanged as the truck bounced over uneven ground and jostled them about the cab. Dominic braced his hands on the dash just as the truck slammed to a stop.

“What the hell are you doing?” Dominic yelled.

“Get out,” Logan spat.

“What?”

The cars speeding by wobbled the cab with strong rushes of wind. Each vehicle missed them by inches. Dominic cringed.

Logan thrust his door open and clambered out into the rain. Horns blared and tires screeched as he made his way around the front of the truck to the passenger side. Dominic's door swung open with a wet, angry Logan heaving breaths on the other side.

“Get out of my truck.”

Dominic's own fury rose, clawing at his gut and coating his words. “You're out of your damn mind,” he muttered. “Get back in and let's go.”

“Nope.” Logan set his jaw, lifted it in the air then stabbed a finger into Dominic's chest. “You get your ass out. You want to go backward, you can damn well walk.”

“I don't know what the hell you're talking about,” Dominic gritted, settling back in his seat and ignoring the catch in his voice.

“Yeah, you do. I told you not to proceed if you didn't plan on following through.” Logan words dripped with disdain. “I'm not helping you abandon Cissy and those boys.”

Dominic sneered. “Here we go again with the preaching. Don't think you're the expert seeing as how you did such a fine job holding your own family together.”

“We're not talking about me right now.”

“Maybe we should.”

Logan nodded. “Okay. Let's talk about me. And Pop, maybe? Let's talk about how we sat around for months on end hoping to catch a glimpse of you in person rather than on the TV.”

Dominic shifted his attention back to the traffic whipping by. “That's bullshit, Logan.”

“Nope. What's bullshit is you pulling the same trick you've pulled over and over for the past seven years.” Logan grabbed him with hard hands. “Now get your ass outta my truck.”

Caught off guard, Dominic scrambled for a handhold as Logan yanked him toward the ground. His body, still recovering from the recent bout with the bull, balked with pain as he resisted Logan's efforts.

“Cut it out,” Dominic shouted, rage sparking to life inside him.

“Hurts, doesn't it? Trying to hold on while someone's pulling in the opposite direction?” Logan heaved again, snatching him from the seat and onto the slippery grass. “You getting a taste of how Cissy feels yet?”

That spark of rage blasted into a burst of fire. It seared through his veins, burning his eyes and lungs. “How the hell would you know how she feels?”

Dominic thrust his fists into Logan's chest, his feet sliding over the slick ground. Scrambling for a grip on Logan, Dominic lost his footing and tumbled down the embankment, dragging Logan with him as he slammed into the ditch. Stunned, he lay on his back for a moment, drawing in deep gulps of air. Logan groaned at his side and rolled to face him.

“How do I know?” Logan mused, gasping and squinting his eyes against the rain. “Maybe because I feel the same way every time my little brother leaves without a backward glance at me.”

Dominic exhaled, his anger fizzling out and remorse seeping in. The downpour slowed to a drizzle and the whoosh of cars passing on the highway rasped in his ears.

“Or maybe,” Logan added, “it's because I've felt it every damn day since Amy left.” He frowned against the drops hitting his face. “I'm not even entitled to that since I all but pushed her out the door. But damned if it don't hurt just as much. If I ever got another shot, I'd fight like hell to hold on and right my wrongs. Any sacrifice is better than constant regret.” Logan licked the rain from his lips. “Is that what you want? You want to wake up every morning for God knows how long regretting you weren't man enough when it really counted?”

“Hell, no,” Dominic rushed out. “But I'm not sure I'm the kind of man Cissy needs. She says I'm a good man but I don't feel it. I don't even know what that means anymore.”

Logan sighed. “A man's just the sum of his choices, Dominic. It's the choices you make that define who you are. You chose to help Cissy and those boys when they were strangers. Went out of your way to see to their welfare. Supported them ever since. That's the man she came to know. The same man I know.” Logan lifted up on his elbow, nudging his arm with a fist. “You're not just a good man, Dom. When you choose to be, you're one of the best.”

A wave of warmth swept over Dominic. It heated his skin against the chill left behind by the rain and lifted the blanket of gloom smothering his heart. He was more than a good man. According to Logan, he was one of the best. A strong, honorable man. A man his brother was proud to know. The same man Cissy saw.

Dominic hesitated, swallowing hard before saying, “But she walked away anyway.”

“No, she didn't. She took a stand. Did what she thought was best for those boys.” Logan sat up. “What would you have rather she did? Chose to roam with you instead of staying with those boys? Leave them like mom left us?” He shook his head. “That's not who Cissy is. You know that. That's why you love her so much.”

Well, damn
. His brother made more sense than he'd like. Dominic sat up, too, dragging a hand over his face and cringing with shame at what a fool he'd been.

“You do love her?” Logan prompted at his silence.

Dominic jerked his hands from his face. “Hell, yes, I do. I love all of them.”

Logan cast him a knowing look. “Are they yours?”

His side tingled. The same side Jayden had clung to the night he'd brought them to Raintree. The night he'd brought them home.

“Hell, yes.” Dominic's fierce words burst from his lips. “All three of them are mine.”

Logan's smile called for one of his own.

“Well, then, I guess you can get your hardheaded ass back in my truck.” Logan grunted as he got up. “I'm getting too old for this shit.”

“Old is right,” Dominic lifted a brow with humor, rising and stretching his legs. He sobered then embraced Logan. “Wiser, too, as much as I hate to admit it,” he added with a couple slaps to his brother's back. Drawing back, he asked, “Think you can use an assistant manager at Raintree? Maybe consider taking stock in bulls?”

“Taking up the reins with a vengeance, huh?” Logan laughed. “Long as you're there, baby brother, I'm game for anything.” He steadied himself and brushed off his jeans. “Ready?”

Dominic's legs were already carrying him up the hill. They retraced their steps to the truck, the uneasiness in Dominic's gut having dissipated. There was no regret, no discomfort or unease. Just a deep sense of longing to hold Cissy and the boys. Feel that overwhelming sense of pride and put down roots. See how much they could grow together.

His blood warmed.
Grow
. Maybe even add to their family tree with another child. A baby girl with Cissy's big blue eyes. Eyes that would see only this man. A man that was unafraid to love. One who wouldn't hesitate to choose his family over anything else in life.

Gripping the truck door, Dominic hefted himself into the driver's seat. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he waited for Logan, eager to get back on the road. Back to Cissy and the boys. He'd had no control over his mother leaving. That was her choice. A choice that had nothing to do with him or the family she'd left behind. But he didn't have to make the same one.

He no longer wanted or needed the approval of thousands. He only wanted and needed it from Cissy and the boys. To be the man he wanted to be, he only needed their love. And, most important, to love and support them the way they deserved.

His chest swelled. Without a doubt, choosing Cissy and the boys was already the best decision he'd ever made. He just hoped she'd choose to give him another chance.