Unexpected Love (Timid Souls Book 3) (12 page)

She took a step forward, her voice turning pleading. “But that doesn’t mean we have to break up, though. You can be happy and still have Penny as your top priority.”

I shook my head once. “I’ve been thinking too much about myself lately, about my own happiness. I’ve been selfish and that
is
my fault. My daughter is the most important thing in my life, and I can’t put my love life before her.”

I ran my hand through my hair, sighing deeply. “It’s just a break, to get some distance,” I said. “Things have been a little hectic ever since we first moved into the house, and I think Penny and I need to establish our routine—get better acclimated to this new situation—before I consider adding someone else to our dynamic.”

She swallowed, a tear tracking down her cheek. I wanted to pull her to me so I could kiss it away, relieve her sadness because I hated seeing that devastated look on her face. But Penny had to come first and this whole incident tonight made me feel like maybe I had slipped up somewhere along the way and had been more concerned about
us
as a whole rather than just
her
.

If I had to sacrifice being with the love of my life in the best interests of my daughter, I would accept that. Reluctantly, but I would accept it.

After several seconds of silence, Felicity shuddered out a breath and wiped her tears away, straightening her shoulders. She cleared her throat and said flatly, “Well, I want what’s best for Penny. You’re her father so if you say this is what you want for her then I can’t argue with it. I’ll go.”

Dammit, I don’t want her to go.

But she had to. Didn’t she?

My conflicted emotions battled inside me as Felicity went upstairs to retrieve all of her things. I wanted to stop her, wanted to have something of hers to keep around, allowing her presence to linger even when she wasn’t here. But I knew that I had to let this happen, had to let her go.
For now.

She came back downstairs and it was obvious she didn’t want to meet my eyes. All I wanted to do was take her in my arms and kiss the hell out of her, tell her she was never leaving me and that I never wanted to let her go.
You pretty much told her that last night.
But I knew that if I kissed her, I definitely wouldn’t be able to let her walk out of my house.

This was already hard enough without having to fall asleep with her taste all over my lips.

“I, um,” she started to say as she swiped her fingers over her phone screen. “I took some pictures of Vanessa’s living room. The beer cans and the bong and everything. I thought that if you showed them to the judge, let him know what we walked into, it should cement your case for sole custody. I’ll send them to you.”

I hadn’t even thought of doing that. That was what she had been doing downstairs while I’d been comforting Penny. I couldn’t believe how much I loved this woman—or the fact that I was pushing her away.

Maybe this is a mistake.

“If you ever need anything with Penny, you know you can call me.” She put her hand on the door handle but paused to look at me over her shoulder before she opened it. “I meant everything I said last night. I love you, Gabe. And I hope you change your mind because you and Penny have become the most important people in my life.”

Then she was gone.

And I was lost.

##

Felicity

How had I gotten in so deep in just a short amount of time? Because one day I was crushing on Gabe, doing everything in my power to get him to notice me, and the next I was tucking his daughter into bed and telling him I loved him.

And now I was dealing with the side effects of heartbreak: lack of motivation and interest, lack of energy, craving for every unhealthy food imaginable, and a pathetic need to hear his voice just one more time, see him one more time,
smell
something of his just one more time.

I understood where Gabe had been coming from the night he said we needed a break. I knew he had been upset and scared and rightfully so. His daughter was put in a potentially dangerous situation and her own mother hadn’t even cared. I hadn’t been about to tell him his feelings were wrong or irrational. I wasn’t a parent but I could still comprehend the determination to do absolutely anything to protect your child.

But he hadn’t even given us a chance.

Things had gotten a little complicated and he just bailed.

He told me he loved me just the night before and I knew that Penny meant everything to him. But for him to throw us away so quickly and thoughtlessly like that, did that mean that I meant nothing to him? I wasn’t asking him to put me before his daughter—I would never do that—but all I wanted was for him to let me prove that I could be his partner. I could help and support him, unlike his ex-wife.

I could love Penny just as fiercely as he did.

I already do.

Protecting Penny and doing what was best for her didn’t mean that the two of them had to be left alone. Besides, did he plan to be alone for the rest of his life? Did he never plan to re-marry, try to find a mother for Penny, at least a better one than she had? Was he never going to allow himself to love someone again?

Because I understood his fears, but how was that any way to live?

“Okay, we’re goin’ to yoga class,” Bea said authoritatively as she entered our dining room. “Let’s go.”

I raised my head from the blueprints I was currently studying to assess her expression. I had an idea as to what the motivation was here, but I was still suspicious.

“Yoga?” I asked. “You hate yoga.”

She nodded, a disgusted tone in her voice when she replied, “Yeah, but you love the crap out of it. And if it will help get you back to normal, then I’ll do as many downward dogs or whatever the hell they are as it takes.”

It had been two weeks since Gabe had shattered my heart to smithereens, and I had only recently found the will to stop moping around and instead try to take my mind off of the situation by throwing myself into work. The blueprints spread out on the table was for a new commercial development downtown and the owners had asked Paxton Designs to come up with a bid for them.

“I don’t know, Bea. I haven’t been feelin’ so hot this mornin’…”

She put her hand on top of the blueprints, sliding them aside and out of my reach. “And you’ll feel a whole lot better after some exercise. If you want to call yoga exercise.”

I thought about it. Yoga
did
sound good.

Ten minutes later, we were out the door in our yoga pants and tank tops, our mats tucked under our arms, and headed three blocks down to the yoga studio I frequented.

“So, has he called yet?” Bea asked as we made our way down the sidewalk. There was no point in driving when we were about to exercise anyway.

I shook my head. “No. I don’t really expect him to either. He said it was just a break, but there was a sense of finality in how he said it. He was freaked out that night. I don’t want to give up on him, but I can’t keep torturin’ myself, waitin’ by the phone twenty-four seven either.”

I confessed everything about what had happened between us to Bea. Unlike her, I often needed to unload my feelings, get everything out there and talk it out before I could understand my emotions. She preferred to hold everything back until she was about to explode.

“And you shouldn’t have to wait either,” she said, a thoughtful look on her face when I glanced over at her. “But sometimes people need the time to figure it all out. You guys admitted to loving each other. That’s a big step, especially for a guy who thought he was in love with a woman once—even married her—and she turned out to be a witch. When things got real with that whole Penny situation, especially after such an intense night with you, it’s sort of understandable that everything hit him all at once and he wigged out.”

“So, you’re sayin’ that I should keep waitin’ and just be patient then?” I clarified.

She lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “I’m sayin’ that if you really love him and think you want to be with him for the long haul, you will wait. Those feelings you have won’t exactly go away overnight. I know it’s hard but just try not to lose hope.”

She dodged a group of middle schoolers who looked like they were on a field trip with their teacher before she caught back up to me and spoke again. “Because don’t take this the wrong way, but you’ve only got yourself to think about. You’re only responsible for yourself. Gabe is responsible for a whole other person. It’s his job to take care of Penny; she can’t do it herself. And when a kid is involved like that, it just adds a whole other level of complexities to the situation.”

I narrowed my eyes at her, my eyebrow raised in question. “Where did all of this wisdom come from all of a sudden? The Bea I know doesn’t usually get this deep.”

She snorted sarcastically. “Psych 101 rearin’ its ugly head,” she responded.

“And where was all of that whenever Zane took off for England and you ate your weight in
my
chocolate ice cream?”

She shot me a look. “It’s different when it’s happenin’ to you. Much easier to see things from the outside lookin’ in. That was day one of Psych class.”

I rolled my eyes. “As much as it pains me to admit, you might have made some good points somewhere in there.”

“Duh,” she huffed. “I know what I’m talkin’ about. I got a man like Zane Price after all, so you should probably listen to me.” I laughed and she lightly bumped my shoulder with hers. “You’re goin’ to be okay, you know. You’ve always been the stronger one out of the two of us.”

That made my chest tighten with emotion. “About time you realized it.”

She just laughed and threw her arm around me.

Having a sister was nice. Sometimes. Until she ate all of your chocolate ice cream and then it was game on.

##

“Oh my God, I can’t breathe!” Bea groaned as we gathered up our stuff at the studio. “If I wanted to sweat like an animal, I would have just went and played soccer with Zane and his friends.”

Apparently, my sister hadn’t understood that the class we had been attending was a
hot
yoga class. I’m pretty sure she hadn’t even known such a thing existed.

“Why would anyone choose to do this?” she exclaimed as she fanned herself with her hand. “I mean, seriously. I have sweat drippin’ in places that it should
never
drip in.”

I cringed as I took a long gulp of my water. “I really don’t need to know that, Bea.”

“Yeah well, I’m blamin’ this all on you so you’re goin’ to hear about it.”

“It was your idea to come here.”

She threw her arms out to her sides. “For you! I was tryin’ to be nice. Consider this your birthday present, by the way. Doin’ this with you was like the equivalent of buying you a new Fendi purse.”

I narrowed my eyes but she put her hand in my face before I could comment on that. “Not another word. What time is it? Is it too late for mimosas?” I started to say “maybe” but she cut me off. “Too bad. I want some mimosas. Get me some of those and maybe I’ll quit bitchin’.”

We did decide to change our clothes before we went anywhere because
gross
. Bea hadn’t been completely exaggerating; we were really sweaty. But since both of us were starving and she was apparently hankering for some orange juice and champagne, we didn’t bother taking showers. When she asked where I wanted to go, I immediately knew and didn’t give her the opportunity to argue. I wasn’t even sure if the place served mimosas, but she could suck on an orange to get her fix for all I cared.

It was a perfect day to sit outside at The Rusty Can, right along the river. Although it would have been more perfect if Gabe had been with me.

“Wow, I’ve never even heard of this place,” Bea mused as we sat down at a table and ordered our drinks. Luckily, they did serve mimosas so everyone around us was safe from one of her tirades. Because my stomach was still bothering me a little, I decided to just stick with water.

“I hadn’t either but they’ve got great food.”

As we waited for our food to come and stared out at the waters of the Potomac River glistening in the sunlight, I, of course, thought about Gabe and Penny. How I would handle it if neither one of them was in my life. If I would ever be able to find someone else who made me as happy as Gabe did. And whether or not they even missed having me in their lives.

“Can I ask you somethin’?” Bea asked after a few minutes.

I turned in my chair to face her. “Sure.”

She narrowed her eyes in thought and then asked, “If Gabe does come around and wants to make things between you work, you realize you’re also goin’ to be responsible for Penny. I mean, especially with Vanessa the Vampire bein’ the most unreliable person on the planet, Gabe’s goin’ to trust in you to help him with Penny.”

I shrugged. “What’s your question?”

“Are you ready for that? It’s not like you would have had nine months to prepare for havin’ a child. All of a sudden, you’ll be takin’ on the responsibilities of a fully grown six-year-old. And let’s say things with you and Gabe get super serious down the road. Are you ready to be a mother to that girl?”

I bit my lip in contemplation, already knowing the answer but I gave myself some time to think it over. No matter how I spun it, though, or how many different scenarios ran through my head, I came to the same conclusion every time.

“Yes,” I answered. “That girl needs a positive female influence in her life and I want to be that person. I’m ready to take that on. And even if I wasn’t, I would do whatever I had to do to be with Gabe.” I took a few sips of my water and picked at the napkin on the table. “Besides, I’ve always loved kids. I always thought I would be a good mother.”

Her mouth formed into a soft smile. “And you will be. I’ve never had any doubt about that. I just wanted to make sure you knew it, too.”

That was the last thing said before an overwhelming bout of nausea hit me and I had to rush to the bathroom.

##