Until Alex (3 page)

CHAPTER THREE

ALEX

The following morning I threw on my black bikini, the cute one with the pink hearts. I spread my aunt’s floral beach towel on one of the lounge chairs surrounding the pool. Luckily, I had the pool all to myself.

I
crept into the water. It was just the right temperature. Refreshing yet warm once submerged. I dipped my head under to cool my body while swimming leisurely toward the far wall. I grabbed onto the cement edge and gauged the length of the pool, wondering how many laps I could manage before needing to stop. Twenty? Maybe thirty? Either way, I’d be exhausted. And exhaustion equaled dreamless sleep. At least I hoped it did.

I pulled in a deep breath, then pushed off the wall with both feet. I made nice long strides, spearing the water like the swimmers in the Olympics. By lap three, I amped it up, kicking my legs as if a madman pursued me. If I kept up the pace, my legs would tire before my arms. I wasn’t an athlete. I’d never claim to be anything even close, but I—

Splash!

Stopping mid-stride, I spun around
in the center of the pool, circling my arms and legs to stay afloat. I didn’t know what I expected to find. An animal. A small child. The pool man. But Hayden breaking through the water at the low end definitely wasn’t it.

I tried not to gawk as he stood waist-high in the water. But I found myself smack-dab in the middle of every teenage girl
and
desperate housewife’s most vivid fantasy.

The water dripped like honey down his face, over his broad shoulders, and onto his sculpted torso. His wet dark hair and bare chest practically glistened in the bright morning sun.

I tried to appear unfazed, but seriously? I was so far from it, it wasn’t even funny.

“I’m not used to sharing my pool,” he said, lowering himself so the water met his chin.

“
Your
pool? That’d be news to my aunt. She claims to own this place.” I shot him a smug smirk.

He moved toward the center of the pool—toward me—wading water effortlessly while
concealing a smile.

I couldn’t fathom why someone so breathtakingly gorgeous would deny girls everywhere something as small as a smile. Wait. Maybe he wasn’t denying other girls. Maybe just me.

Fully cognizant that the awkward way I circled my arms wouldn’t keep me afloat much longer, I moved to the side of the pool. Grabbing onto the side wall, I spun around to face Hayden, extending my arms over the edge for balance.

Your move.

Hayden backed away, somehow keeping his eyes locked on mine. “I didn’t catch your name.”

“You didn’t ask,” I deadpanned.

For the first time since laying eyes on him, he flashed a grin. A wide grin.

Oh, sweet Jesus
.
Dimples sank into his cheeks. Of course he had dimples. Why wouldn’t he?

“How ‘bout we try this again.” His eyes studied mine. “I’m Hayden.”

“I know.” I played his words off indifferently, but my entire body hummed. If the mere sight of him and those to-die-for dimples could affect me so intensely, I could only imagine what his touch would do.
Oh, my God. Who said anything about touching?

His head retracted. “You know?”

I gulped down the fairly noticeable knot in my throat. “My aunt already warned me about you.”

He laughed softly, an edge to the sound. “Did she now?”

I nodded, trying to keep the nervous ripples swelling inside my stomach at bay.

One side of his mouth lifted into a cocky grin, like he could somehow sense my nerves.

Damn him.

“So, what’d she say about the hottie in 2C?”

I furrowed my brows, pretending he’d asked a serious question. “There’s a hottie in 2C?”

His voice lowered. “So I’ve been told.”

Okay, so cocky and confident. Usually an obnoxious blend, but somehow he worked it. How utterly frustrating. And oddly delicious. “Maybe you could introduce us. I’m new here, and a hot friend might make things bearable.”

Hayden suppressed another smile as he mimicked my move, resting his arms on the edge of the pool directly across from me.
Great
. Now I couldn’t escape the finely chiseled muscles rippling in his biceps and forearms.

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

My eyes snapped from his muscles to his grinning face. Okay. So he caught me staring. So what? “What question?”

“You got a name?”

I swallowed. What was up with the swallowing thing? “Alexandra. Alex.”

“You living here now, Alex, or just passing through?”

Why did I like that given the choice, he opted for my nickname? “Nope. I’m here ‘til I graduate college in May.” As the words left my lips, a rush of sadness swept over me. I tried to conceal it with a small smile. But given Hayden’s intense gaze, he saw through my façade.

Thankfully, h
e didn’t say a word. He just nodded, seemingly understanding there were things I had no intention of disclosing.

W
ithout another word, he lifted his face to the morning sun and closed his eyes. Mimicking his move, I let the sun’s rays spread over me, heating my body to the core. At least I assumed it was the sun’s effects.

As the sun moved in and out of the wispy clouds fluctuating the air’s temperature, we relaxed in comfortable silence. It gave me time to think.
More
time to think. The doctor said my mind would settle down, but it would take time. My pain ran deep. It was raw and intense.

The anti-depressants he prescribed didn’t work. Hence me swallowing the entire bottle in need of sleep and a clear mind. But that just got me a hospital stay and a one-way ticket to my aunt’s.

Not my finest hour.

Being hundreds of miles away from my old life was supposed to help. So far, it hadn’t.

Grief overwhelmed me.

Guilt and anger ate away at my soul.

Except when I was around Hayden.

I didn’t understand it. I couldn’t explain it. But I’d take it. Because here in the pool, I could smile. I could laugh. I could breathe.

It took no time for the sun to sting my cheeks. Since I’d forgotten sunscreen, and my fair skin burned so easily, I needed to move into the shade.

When I opened my eyes, Hayden’s gaze was locked on mine from across the pool. I expected his eyes to jump away, to pretend they’d been staring at something else, but they didn’t.

“Is sharing your pool as bad as you thought it would be?”

A slow smile slid across his lips. “Could be worse.”

I smiled back. “Worse, huh?”

He nodded.

“Like ‘swimming with sharks with a big gouge in your leg’ worse?”

He considered my question before shaking his head. “Like ‘
getting ready to bang a hot chick and realizing you don’t have a condom’ worse.”

I
choked out a laugh, completely blindsided by his response. But given the devious twinkle in his eyes, he was trying to get a rise out of me. Looking for a reaction. Testing me.

Giving nothing
else away, I lowered myself into the water, allowing the coolness to soothe my tender sun-kissed shoulders and cheeks.

“You a swimmer?”

I pushed my wet hair out of my eyes. “Hardly.”

He lowered his body into the water, submerging himself underneath. When he resurfaced, he raked his fingers through his dark hair pushing the wet locks off his forehead. “So if I challenge you to a race—”

“You’d kick my ass.”

His lips tipped into a grin before he moved away from the wall and swam to the far end of the pool. I caught a glimpse of a tattoo on his right shoulder, but he spun toward me before I could determine what it was. “What makes you so sure?”

“I’ve seen the muscles.” Once the words were out, I wanted to swallow them back. Not because I was embarrassed. But because of the sly, cocky grin that swept across his face. I desperately needed to save face. To regain the upper hand. To humble him. “You’re not one of those guys, are you? The ones at the gym who gawk at themselves in the mirror while they lift? The ones grunting and groaning?”

Hayden’s eyes darkened as he peered across the water at me. “The only time
I’m grunting and groaning is in the bedroom.”

I
could feel myself morphing into a cherry-cheeked little girl. So much for saving face.

Hayden took pity on me. “I’m up for a race if you are.”

Never one to back down from a challenge—and desperately needing to end our conversation—I nodded. “Sure.”

I swam over to the spot beside him, staying a good six feet away. Not being overly athletic, chances were high I’d crash into him while swimming. I grasped the wall with one hand. My feet pressed flush against it under the water.

Hayden held on to the edge with both hands behind him, preparing for something fancy like the butterfly stroke.

Show off.

Okay. So maybe he had every reason to be. Because if I thought his muscles were impressive from afar, seeing the deep ridges flex and roll as he gripped the wall beside me gave the term
wet dream
a whole new meaning.
 

“Ready?”

I nodded.

“Go,” he called.

We pushed off the wall at the same time, kicking and splashing like contenders for the gold medal. Clearly, I wasn’t the only competitive one.

My arms flew through the water, using every bit of strength I had to slice the water and reach the opposite side before him. With the wall a mere yard away, I threw my hand out, slamming into it with a
splat
.

The water lapped against the side of the pool as I grabbed on and looked to Hayden. He hadn’t gone easy on me. His chest heaved like mine. “Was it a tie?”

Water droplets hung from his impossibly long eyelashes as his gaze captured mine. “Yup.”

I shook my head and laughed, knowing it was a total lie. A lie intended to spare my feelings. There was definitely more to Hayden than met the eye. And even though what met the eye was seriously intoxicating, I wanted to know more. “Bullshit.”

He laughed a hearty laugh, throwing back his head so young and carefree. So unlike him.

Or was it?

“You callin’ me a liar?”

I bit my lip to stop from grinning. “I wouldn’t dare.”

He lifted his brows. “No?”

Aware of his scrutiny, I shook my head, keeping my face composed. “I need you to introduce me to that hottie in 2C.”

He laughed again, softer this time, as if trying to rein it back.

“How about a rematch?”

Instead of agreeing, like I hoped he would, his mouth became a tight line I couldn’t decipher. His conflicted eyes lifted to the clouds for what felt like forever. And despite his apparent reluctance, his eyes slid back to mine and he nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”

Exhaling the breath I’d unconsciously been holding, I leveled him with my eyes. “This time no lying.”

His lips lifted into a crooked smile, and a tiny piece of my shattered heart shifted back into place.

After four
or five more races, Hayden lifted himself out of the pool. “I’ve gotta take care of my laundry.”

I tried not to stare as
he grabbed his towel off the lounge chair, but I wanted to get a closer look at his tattoo.

He must’ve realized what I was doing
from my spot in the pool,
or
he wanted to give me a better angle of his six-pack, because he turned toward me and draped the towel around his neck.

“Same time tomorrow?”

He shook his head. “I’ve got plans.”

“Oh. Yeah. I totally understand.” Heat pulsed in my cheeks.
Talk about being shot down. How mortifying.

Hayden stared down at me for a long moment. He wanted to say something. I could see it in his pensive eyes. But in the end he headed toward the gate.
“See you ‘round.”

I watched as he made his way
toward the building.

Once I could no longer see him, I dropped my head in humiliation.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

* * *

The sun had already set and taken the intense morning heat with it when I stepped onto the lawn with my old green comforter in my arms. I maneuvered around excited residents seated in lawn chairs facing the windowless side of the three-story building eager for the “drive-in” movie to begin.

I said a quick hello to my aunt who was busy setting up the projector, then searched for the perfect spot in the back.

As I spread my comforter on the dry grass, tears prickled the backs of my eyes.

Here we go again.

I sat down, running my hand over the worn fabric beneath me. It had accompanied me to star-filled nights on the beach with my ex Preston. To concerts in the park with my girlfriends. To football games on cold December nights with my parents.
Avoiding the memories was impossible. My mind rendered me helpless. I was an unwilling participant. A slave to whatever images invaded my mind.