Wedding Night With the Earl (24 page)

“Does it hurt when I do that?” he asked.

“No. It actually feels wonderful.”
To have your hands on me,
she added silently.

“Good. I’m going to pull down your stocking.”

Her gaze shot up to his and a shiver stole over her.

“Stop me whenever you want,” he said quickly.

Katherine didn’t want to stop him. Instead, she instinctively leaned back and placed her hands on the floor behind her. If he wanted to see her leg, she would allow it. His gentle touch had started a slow heat of yearning deep in her lower stomach, and she wanted it to continue.

Katherine wasn’t prepared for the shock of pleasure that flowed through her as he rolled down her stocking to her ankle. Her stomach quivered and a teasing warmth tingled across her breasts. How could such a simple, everyday life occurrence fill her with such anticipation that more was to come?

Adam caught the calf of her leg in the palm of one hand and held her ankle in the other. With confident hands, he turned her leg to the left and right. He bent her knee as far as it would go, and then he straightened it and looked at her scars. There was a three-inch scar below her knee and two smaller ones above it.

“The scars have almost faded away,” he said. “They aren’t red.” He ran his fingers gently over them several times. “They aren’t raised or welted, but definitely the wide stitching of a physician and not the small, delicate needlework of a woman.”

“Men are not usually very skillful with a needle.”

“These aren’t ugly. They are hardly even noticeable. I think you have a beautiful, shapely leg.”

Katherine hadn’t looked at them in a long time and admitted to herself that they didn’t look as horrifying as they used to.

“It’s true, Katherine. And I know with a little hard work, your leg will get stronger, too.”

Adam’s warmth, kindness, and encouragement drew her like the heat of a fire on a frigid night. In reality, she should be frightened, or appalled, or at the very least feel somewhat compromised because she was showing him her leg, letting him touch her in such an intimate way. But the only feelings she experienced were desire and wanting. His touch felt good and natural.

“Your hands are gentle,” she whispered, watching his fingers massage her muscles.

“It’s easy to be gentle with you.”

With care, he rubbed up and down the lower part of her leg, tenderly massaging the back of her calf all the way up to the back of her knee and down again. His movements were seductive and languorous. Breathtaking sensations stirred and mounted inside her. The sensual touch of his hands heated her. The warmth curled and wove its way once again up to her breasts and teased them before spiraling down to the center of her womanhood and settling there.

She watched the bulge of his taut muscles flex and tighten beneath the fabric of his shirt. He was a powerfully built man, but his touch was tender. His hand caressed and massaged her leg, sending delicious feelings spreading throughout her body.

Adam’s half-closed gaze remained on her face. The cold, hard truth was that he knew exactly how he was making her feel, but she didn’t know what he was going to do about it.

She leaned forward a fraction and before she could stop herself asked, “When can we meet again?”

He continued to caress her leg. “I don’t know. I’m not sure we should.”

The intensity of his gaze forced her to lower her head and look away from him.

“Not because of your dancing, Katherine.”

She knew he wasn’t referring to her dancing. She exhaled a steadying breath. “Then why?”

“Look at me,” he said.

She acquiesced.

“Because of how I feel when I’m alone with you. Because of what I want to do but can’t.”

She swallowed hard. “What do you want to do?”

Watching her carefully, he said, “Kiss you, of course.”

Feeling fortified, she said, “I like your kisses.”

He grunted a half laugh. “I like yours, too. Believe me, I do.”

He reached over and placed a sweet brief kiss on her lips before resting on the backs of his legs again.

“That was like a first kiss, Adam. We are way past kissing like that, are we not?”

He let out a heavy breath. “Don’t tempt me any more than you already have, Katherine.”

“But I want to.” Katherine scooted closer to him and wound her arms around his neck. Looking deeply into his eyes, she admitted, “I enjoy kissing you.”

“I enjoy it, too.” He stopped. “I should be strong enough to deny you, but there are times your powers of persuasion overcome me. Like now. When I kiss you the way you like to be kissed, it makes me want to touch you like this.” He slid his hand up her midriff and caught her breast in the palm of his hand.

Katherine’s stomach did a delicious somersault as bone-melting pleasure raced through her. Tingling warmth settled low in her abdomen as he fondled her breast, feeling its weight, its shape, and its firmness beneath the fabric of her dress and stays.

“I don’t mind you doing that,” she said, realizing her breaths were coming faster and shorter. “It’s quite pleasurable.”

“For me, too,” he said huskily. “But when I touch you like this, it makes me want to kiss you like this.” Adam wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. His head dipped low and covered her lips with his in a long, hard, urgent kiss.

He kissed her again and again and again. She savored every taste, every breath. She loved the feel of his lips on hers and the touch of his hand caressing and shaping her breast.

She opened her mouth and Adam’s tongue swept inside with satisfying swiftness.

“Yes,” she whispered as her hands dug into the fabric of his shirt, pressing him closer to her. “Kiss me like this.”

They kissed deeply, hungrily, and eagerly over and over until Adam finally lifted his head and whispered breathlessly, “And when I kiss you like this, Katherine, and touch you like this, it makes me want to also do this.” Cradling her back with his arms, Adam gently tumbled her onto his cloak and lowered his body on top of her.

Katherine had never felt anything more powerful than Adam’s weight settling on top of her. She welcomed it. Automatically, her legs spread and he fit his lower body up against her womanhood. It was the most glorious experience. She couldn’t imagine that anything could ever rival the exquisite feeling.

Adam continued to kiss her and caress her with the fierceness and passion she wanted as the hardness of his lower body pressed against her softness. At times his kisses skimmed over her cheeks and down her neck, but he’d always find his way back to her lips and ravish her mouth again. It was thrilling to know that he desired her as desperately as she desired him.

He lifted his head, gazed down into her eyes, and whispered, “And when I am on top of you like this, I want to do this.”

With his strong hand, he reached up and tugged on the neckline of her dress and undergarment, sliding them off one shoulder and halfway down her arm. With tender fingers, he pulled down on the clothing and exposed her breast.

His eyes were glazed with passion as he looked at her. “You are as beautiful as I knew you would be. Your skin is flawless. Your breast is perfectly round and inviting.” He bent his head, and his mouth covered her nipple quickly, tasting her eagerly.

Katherine gasped and arched her back. Shivers of exhilaration flooded her. Her breath jumped erratically. A tremor of desire shook his body, too. He was as affected by her as she was by him. That thrilled her even more. All she could do was moan with pleasure and wrap her arms around his firm, strong shoulders. His tongue flicked and played with her breast, sending shivers of delirious tingles shooting throughout her body.

Her hands moved down his broad back and she cupped his firm buttocks, pressing him closer to her. He moaned and trembled again. His hand raked down her other breast, her rib cage, over her hip and thigh, to press her tightly against the hardness caught between his legs.

Leaving her breast moist from his tongue, he suddenly placed his hands on either side of her face and dragged his lips from hers. Breathlessly, he looked down into her eyes and said, “Can you feel how desperately I want you right now?”

“Yes,” she murmured.

“But I cannot have you. Now, do you see why I don’t know if we should meet again?”

“No, I don’t see. Something wonderful and thrilling is happening between us. I don’t want it to stop.”

“It must. I fear you will drive me insane with wanting. I swear by heaven I have never wanted another woman with the intensity I want you, Katherine. Not Annie. Not anyone. But I cannot make you mine. My fear for you overrides my wanting you.”

His words were so sincere, she suddenly felt close to tears. She touched his cheek. “But I don’t understand. What fear?”

“There’s always the possibility you could have a babe from our coming together. I can’t allow that.”

She stiffened and suddenly she felt cold. She reached down and pulled her dress up her shoulder and over her breast. “Because you don’t want to marry me.”

“I can’t marry anyone.” He rolled away from her and rose to his knees again. He reached out to help her sit up.

Feeling bereft, Katherine refused his outstretched hand. “I can do it by myself. Thank you.”

“You need to understand that I was able to stop this time, but I fear the time will come when I won’t, and that is too dangerous for you.”

She could see that he was very serious about what he was saying, but she still didn’t comprehend his meaning. “Why would it be dangerous?”

“That’s a personal question, and we both know how you feel about them,” he said. “Just take my word for it that my reasons for not marrying are good ones.”

“So you will never have the warmth of a woman in your bed again?”

“You are so innocent,” he whispered. “Mistresses are schooled to know how to keep from getting in the family way.”

His words tore through her heart like a knife. “You have a mistress?”

“No.” He shook his head. “Not at present.”

“But you will have one. You would rather have a mistress than a lady who loves you.”

“Katherine, I don’t want to talk about mistresses with you.”

Does it embarrass you?”

“No. No, it makes me angry. I want you. I want marriage and a son, not a mistress. But there are reasons I can’t have you and you’ll just have to take my word for that because I’ll not say more.”

He rose and walked over to pick up her cape, bonnet, and cane. While his back was turned, she pulled her dress and stocking into place and then, with a little effort, stood up.

Adam’s expression was somber as he handed her things to her.

“Will I see you again before you leave?”

“I don’t know. Katherine, you have known almost from the first night we met that I did not come to London looking to make a match.”

Aching from his rejection, she said, “And I believe I’ve told you before that I’ve not asked you to marry me. Now if you don’t mind unlocking the door, I’ll take my leave.”

Chapter 23

Men of few words are the best men.

—Henry V,
act 3, scene 2

The bright blue sky was dusted with wispy white clouds. The air was breezy but not chilling as Katherine stood in the budding back garden, waiting for the arrival of Viscount Rudyard.

She had spent the morning practicing walking and her dance steps while thinking about Adam and all that he’d said to her after their passionate embrace. There was no figuring out what he had meant by thinking she would be in danger, other than that he wouldn’t marry her even if she was in the family way.

There had to be more to what he was saying than that. Adam was a gentleman. A man of honor. He would never leave a young lady defenseless and not marry her if that happened. Katherine was as sure of that as she was of her own name.

She’d spent considerable time thinking about their maddening kisses and caresses, too. After the way their last meeting at the orphanage had ended a few days ago, she had thought seriously about giving up trying to dance and walking without the cane. If Adam wasn’t going to help her anymore, why should she try to get stronger or better and more balanced on her feet? But that kind of thinking hadn’t lasted long. She wanted to walk without a cane and learn to dance whether or not she ever stepped on a dance floor with Adam or anyone else.

She wouldn’t quit. She wanted to do it for Adam, but she had to do it for herself. Hence, she had been practicing every morning for the past few days and some afternoons, too. Her leg was getting stronger with each day. She knew she would never glide gracefully across the dance floor as so many young ladies could, but one day, if she continued to work at it, she would be free of the cane for good and maybe be able to dance a little, too.

Katherine had come to another realization. She was in love with the Earl of Greyhawke, though it had taken her some time to realize it. She had no doubts about that now. He was the man she dreamed about, the man she longed to see, and the man she wanted to marry and live with for the rest of her life. She wanted Adam to be the father of her children. But what could she do when he claimed he didn’t intend to marry again?

She would do her best to change his mind if only she could see him. There was no doubt he desired her as much as she desired him. If only there was some way she could get him to the balls and the parties in the evenings so she could see him and talk to him. If she weren’t plagued with having to go everywhere with a chaperone, she would go to his house and force him to see her.

“Katherine?”

At the sound of her aunt’s voice, she pulled her ruffle-trimmed pelisse tighter about her and turned toward the back door. Her aunt and Viscount Rudyard were walking down the back steps.

“I’ll sit over here and read my book while the two of you have a visit,” Aunt Leola said, and headed to the corner of the garden where a table and four chairs stood. “I’ve asked for refreshments to be served in a few minutes.”

“Thank you, Auntie,” Katherine said.

The viscount followed Lady Leola to the sitting area to the left side of the lawn and pulled out the chair for her before heading Katherine’s way.