Wilde Ride (10 page)

“I can’t. I want to so bad, but I can’t Ella.”

“Fine, I guess I will have to go somewhere else to get it then. There are plenty of guys that would want to fuck me.” I storm towards the bathroom to get dressed and leave, but Ryder catches me by the waist and pulls me back towards him.

“Don’t ever fuckin’ say that again,” he hisses.

“Well I want you to want me Ryder, so I will do what I have to for you to want me.”

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ Ella! There is nothing I want more! Do you not understand how hard it is for me to not do this? God you are fuckin’ beautiful and sexy. I can barely keep my fuckin’ hands to myself. When we do this,
I
want it to be perfect not just for you, but for us babe,” he says.

I love it when he is sweet, but I am drunk, horny as hell, and pissed off.

“Whatever Ryder, I’m sleeping on the sofa.” I walk out into the hallway. I hear his footsteps behind me.

“Like fuck you are!” he yells.

“You can’t tell me what to do. Who in the fuck, do you think you are?!” I yell back.

“You are not sleepin’ on the sofa. You will never sleep on the fuckin’ sofa again. It is either the bed or you don’t sleep,” he says.

“Fine, I won’t sleep then,” I hiss.

“Okay,” he grabs my arms and pushes me up against the wall, taking my mouth in a fiery kiss that goes through every inch of my body making my core ache with need. He trails hot kisses and suckles along my neck, then suddenly he drops down to his knees and rips my panties off.

“Oh God, yes!” I moan.

He puts his face between my thighs and sucks hard on my clit while pumping two fingers into my pussy.

“Oh God Ryder, I’m going to come.”

He doesn’t stop, just takes what he wants, which is for me to let go. And trust me, did I ever let go. It was so intense my knees could barely hold me up. Ryder stands up and my hands go to his belt buckle trying to undo it.

“Jesus Ella, I want my cock to be so deep inside you, that you would feel it for weeks after. I want you so bad, but not like this, not tonight. So is that enough for you to stop being pissed at me for tryin’ to do what’s right?” he asks.

“Fuck you. Ryder!” I say, storming off to the bedroom and slamming the door.

I lie in bed for a while trying to find sleep, but all I can think is how big of a bitch I was, acting the way I did. I wait for Ryder to come in but he doesn’t, so I cry myself to sleep thinking that I fucked everything up like I always do.

****

I wake up the next morning feeling like shit. I can’t remember the last time I drank so much. I roll over in the bed and realize that Ryder is not there. WTF?

Oh shit. It all comes back to me. I was acting like a horny bitch in heat.

I walk out to look for him in the house, but he is nowhere to be found. Oh God, I really did it now. He doesn’t want anything to do with me. Tears start streaming down my face, as I run back to the bedroom and pack my stuff.

I run to my car and drive away, as quickly as I can. I was going to go to my apartment, but I realize that I don’t want to go back there because I’m too afraid after what happened the last time. Fuck it. I decide to get a hotel room for a night. There are two hotels in town, so I go to the cheapest one and book a room for myself.

The room is very small. The décor is badly outdated and I’m not completely sure, but there must be a dead body hidden in the room somewhere, because does it ever smell nasty.

I throw my bag on the chair and lie down on the bed and cry some more. I don’t want to lose him, but I think it’s too late for that. I wish I didn’t drink last night. I won’t be doing that again. I order some takeout and hole myself up in my room for the night, crying and beating myself up emotionally for my stupidity. Where is G.I. Jane now?

The next morning, I wake up in the crappy hotel room; I decide to get in the shower and get ready to go out and do something. It’s pretty safe to say that Ryder and I are over. Pulling my cell phone out of my purse to call Payton to inform her about what’s going on, I notice my battery is dead. I plug my cell in to recharge and then decide to put on my flip flops to go for a walk around town and try to figure everything out. I walk and walk some more.

A few hours later, I end up at the beach. Sitting in the sand, I look out into the water, trying to find a way to make things better. I really did it this time. I don’t think he will ever talk to me again. My stomach growls at me. Well at least someone is talking to me, telling me it’s time to eat. I walk back to my hotel room to get changed, but when I get to the door, it is partially opened.

“No, this is not happening again,” I say to myself. What is it with people breaking into where I’m staying?

I slowly walk towards the door, wanting to call Ryder, but realizing that I can’t. It hurts my heart knowing that he isn’t there for me. I cautiously push the door open and look inside. I can see someone sitting on my bed with their head down. I can’t see who it is because the curtains are closed and the lights off. The person stands up and barrels towards me, engulfing me in a hug. That is when I know it is Ryder. His familiar scent envelops me.

“Jesus Ella, are you okay? What the fuck are you doin’? Is this where you’ve been hidin’ out?” he asks. I can see the relief and worry lines on his face.

“What are you doing here Ryder? You scared the shit out of me.”

“What do you mean? I came home from the bar and your car and all your shit was gone. I have been lookin’ for you everywhere. Why did you leave? Are you leavin’ me? I am so sorry Ella. Don’t leave me,” he says, burying his face in my neck.

“What are you talking about Ryder? I would never leave you. You were leaving me, once you realized I am a bitch. You don’t need that. I know you know you deserve better.”

“Christ babe, I would never leave you. You are all I want for the rest of my life,” he says.

I Love You Ryder. I want to say it so bad, but it is too soon.

“Really?” I ask.

“Yeah babe, Lets go home,” he says.

“Okay.”

“One more question before we go. Why the fuck didn’t you answer your phone when I called?”

“My cell battery died. Sorry.”

“Don’t ever fuckin’ worry me like that again. Understand?” I nod in response.

I walk to the bed to get my stuff. It is all packed and ready to go. God I love him. He takes my hand and leads me to my car, putting me in the passenger seat.

“What are you doing? Where’s your bike?” I ask. “Never mind, don’t answer that. Let me guess. You got one of the boys to pick it up.”

“Wasn’t takin’ a chance. Not leavin’ here without you, Ella.”

WOW!

“Okay.”

We drive home in comfortable silence. Enjoying each other’s company and knowing that we are okay. After Ryder shuts the car off, we both walk to his front door, hand in hand.

We’re standing inside his porch after closing the door, when Ryder attacks me. Not in a bad way either, no, it’s in a
very
good way. His tongue forcefully pushes my lips apart and it enters my mouth. I love the taste of Ryder. I groan into his mouth and Ryder responds by shoving me against the wall and grinding his arousal into me. Oh God, I need him now.

“Bedroom,” I whisper into his ear. He grunts in response and is suddenly walking us towards his bedroom, while still keeping our lips engaged.

Finally, after what seems like forever, we make it to his bedroom door.

Chapter 12

Confessions

Ryder and I tumble through his bedroom door in a mass of tangled limbs and tongues. He pushes me up against the dresser and I feel the edge dig into my lower back. His lips leave heated trails down my jaw, behind my ear, ending at my collar bone.

It’s so hot my brain can’t even function. It’s like I’m in a sex fog. I want desperately to maul him and rip his clothes off and have my dirty way with him. All I can manage to do is to grasp tightly to his biceps and continue with my tongue assault on his mouth.

That’s when Ryder decides to up the ante. His rough hands caress my breasts through my shirt. He swipes my nipples with his thumbs until they become erect, sending shivers down my spine. He then puts his mouth on one of my nipples and gently tugs on it with his teeth. I moan.

“You like that?”

I nod in response.

“It’s about to get a whole lot better.”

His hands slide down my stomach and his fingers play with the edge of my low rise jeans. In the next instant, he’s opening the snap and pulling down the zipper and then his hands are in my panties. His fingers circle my clit a few times, but then he removes them and I feel two of his fingers enter between my legs.

“Fuck!” I yell, from pleasure. His fingers stop.

“That’s what I plan on doin’, babe.”

“No, I mean. Fuck! That feels a-fucking-mazing! Don’t fucking stop!”

What was up with the F-word? Did I suddenly get diagnosed with Tourette’s or something?

“I don’t plan on stoppin’,” he says, continuing the movement with his fingers and my orgasm hits and I pulse against his hand.

Before I know what’s happening, Ryder moves us from the dresser and has me at the foot of the bed. He removes my clothing in like a millisecond, and pushes me to the bed. His scorching, lustful gaze starts to fall down my naked body. All of a sudden the sex fog clears and I know I have to stop him.

“Wait! Can you turn off the lights?” I ask sounding panicked, quickly rolling to my side, trying to grab the edge of the comforter to cover my body.

“Not this shit again. I told you, I wanna see everything. I’ve thought about seeing you like this since the first fuckin’ day I laid eyes on you. Don’t ever be embarrassed to show your body to me. You’re fuckin’ gorgeous,” he states, as I still try to cover up my body.

His eyes land on my ribcage, belly and sides. That’s when I know he’s noticed my scars. The look he gives me is so intense I feel like I should get away from him. He looks dangerous. “What the fuck?” He snarls.

“They’re nothing, Ryder. Let it go,” I say.

“Babe, how did you get those fuckin’ scars? If somebody did this to you, I am gonna fuck them up!” he says in an angry growl.

Uh-Oh, Scary Ryder’s back. “I was in a car accident when I was a teenager.”

I feel the bed dip and see Ryder crawl his way up. His lips trail up my body and he places soft kisses to each of the scars on my stomach, sides and ribcage.

“Tell me.”

“I don’t think I can talk about this with you.”

“I’m yours, baby. You can tell me anything.”

“Where do I start?”

“Wherever you want, babe.”

God this is so hard, but here goes nothing.

“When I was seventeen years old, my parents and my brother Joshua and I decided to go to this new pizza place. My father and brother were suckers for pizza. It was our weekly Scott Family Night Out, which was every Friday night. We’d go out for a meal and then end up either at a movie, or bowling or head home and have a family game night. On the way to the restaurant, we stopped at a red light and when it turned green my father accelerated and pulled out into the intersection. We were slammed on the side by a transport truck that had gone through the red light. Police later discovered that the driver had just left a local bar and was totally smashed. My father and brother were killed instantly, but my mother and I survived the initial impact.” I pause, trying to hold back tears, and look at Ryder.

“Go on, I’m listenin’,” he says, lightly tracing his fingers on the scar below my belly button.

“I can’t remember much about the crash itself. But, I can remember coming to after the impact and hearing my mother scream in pain. There was blood everywhere. I was cut up pretty badly from shards of glass and metal from the wreckage. I went unconscious again, shortly after that.”

“What happened to the fuckin’ asshole driver?” he asks, through gritted teeth.

“He died on impact as well,” I reply.

“Motherfucker’s lucky, ‘cause I’d have to track his ass down and kill him myself.” Oh. My. God! Would he do that?

“Finish your story, Ella,” he gently orders.

“Next thing I remember was waking up about a week later in the hospital. My mother died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. I was the only survivor. I couldn’t even go to their funerals because I was unconscious. Even if I had been conscious, I was too injured to attend. Other than the few memories I have of the accident, my scars are there to remind me of all that I’ve lost. I still miss them every day.” By the time I finish my story, I am sobbing so hard my body is convulsing on the bed.

“Shh, baby, it’s okay.” His eyes meet mine with what looks like sadness and understanding. Sadness, I could see, but understanding no. There’s no way that he could ever comprehend the immense feeling of loss that I’d experienced.

“Did you stay with other family members after that?”

“No, I had no other family. Luckily, my best friend through grade school and her family took me in. All of my other friends kind of abandoned me because they didn’t really understand what I was going through and felt awkward being around me. Plus, because I had scars, a lot of people thought I was a freak. Payton somewhat knew how I was feeling. She lost her father to leukemia when she was ten years old. So Payton and her mother, sister and stepfather stepped in and slightly filled that void, but they could never truly replace my family. I love them and will forever be grateful for all that they have done for me. I’m really lucky that way.”