Wings of the Wicked (25 page)

If he didn’t love me, he wouldn’t have stopped what I’d started last night. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be so patient with me right now. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t fight so hard for me. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t risk his soul for me.

I touched his cheek and lifted his chin so that our eyes met firmly, so that he understood what I said next to be the absolute truth. “I love you, Will.”

He closed his eyes and set his hands down on the counter on either side of me. I wrapped a hand around his cheek and thumbed his jaw gently. He leaned into my hand and kissed my palm.

I heard the garage door rise and my heart sank, but Will didn’t move like I thought he would. He leaned forward and rested his forehead against my shoulder, breathing softly. My hands hung around the back of his neck, trembling. A minute later, Nathaniel and Lauren walked in, awkwardly unbuttoning their coats and storing them away in the closet. Lauren gave Will and me a knowing, apologetic look and tightened her mouth. Heat flushed in my cheeks, but I was grateful and felt braver when Will didn’t step away from me. He never showed me affection in front of anyone, so his simple nearness would be the best I’d get.

“Sorry,” Lauren said. “We interrupted, didn’t we?”

I tucked my hair behind my ear, physically aware of how swollen and numb my lips were from kissing him. “No. You’re fine. I was just leaving.” I started to slide off the counter, and Will took my hands to help me. After a moment, he took a reluctant step back as if it pained him to do so, and he buttoned his shirt slowly. I grabbed a dish towel and started to mop up the mess of orange juice.

“Stay awhile, Ell,” she offered with a smile. “I never get to see you.”

The offer was tempting since I really,
really
didn’t want to go home and face my mom’s wrath just then. I looked up at Will, hoping he would agree and then it would be settled.

He touched my arm. “You should stay.”

My gaze fell to his hand on my skin. “All right.”

“Good,” Lauren said as she walked toward me and took my hand. She pulled me away from Will, who let his hand fall, and I suddenly felt cold. Lauren led me through the kitchen, and I glanced at Nathaniel. He didn’t look happy. Just before Lauren took me into the living room, I glanced over my shoulder. Nathaniel and Will were now locked in a staring match. Will shoved his hands into his pockets, and Nathaniel beckoned with a sideways nod of his head for Will to follow him out into the garage. When they disappeared, I felt a terrible hitch in my gut and wondered if whatever had just ignited between Will and me was already dead.

18

THE TV VOLUME WAS SET LOW, AND I DIDN’T KNOW what show we were watching or even what channel it was on. I only stared blankly at the screen. My eyes drifted out of focus and I was hypnotized by the flashes of light and color, the dull roar of voices and music filling my head with white noise. My name was mixed in there somehow, and it took me a moment to realize Lauren was trying to get my attention.

“Ell,” she said. “Earth to Ellie. You there?”

I took a deep breath. “Yeah. I’m here.”

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I replied, but I wasn’t sure if it was a lie or not. “Where were you guys this morning?”

Her smile faded. “Nathaniel and I met my parents for Sunday brunch. We do it every week.”

I looked at her, happy to turn away from the TV. “Is he your boyfriend then?”

Her gaze fell away. “Yes. For four years now.”

“Wow,” I said, my eyes widening. “Does your family know what he is?”

“No. Not yet, at least.”

I would never be able to tell my parents about Will’s true nature either. “Do they know what
you
are?”

“My mom does,” she said. “Her grandmother was a psychic also, so she knows all about reapers but can’t see into the Grim like us. I’ll have to tell my family the truth about Nathaniel someday. They’ll eventually notice that he doesn’t age. My family hates all reapers, even the angelic. Honestly, I can’t blame my mother for hating them. If I had to watch my child go through what I did when I was young, I’d hate them all too.”

Since she didn’t elaborate, I wouldn’t ask. I didn’t like talking about the horrors I saw either. “You must love him.”

“I do, so I understand everything, Ellie.”

“Do you think you two will have kids someday?” I asked.

She shook her head. “Humans and reapers can’t have children together. Something in the genetics, I believe.”

“That’s sad,” I murmured, thinking of more than just Nathaniel and Lauren.

“It’s all right,” she said. “Who knows what will happen in the future, anyway?” She gave me a small, reassuring smile. “Nathaniel isn’t going to kill him, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

My doubt sat heavily in my stomach. “He looked furious.”

“Not so much angry,” she assured me. “He’s worried about what both of you have been going through. He knows Will has been in love with you for a very long time. He understands, so don’t think that he doesn’t.” She took my hand and squeezed it. “I understand, too. I’m here if you need me.”

The sound of angry shouts made us both jump. We stared at each other.

“You don’t think I know that?”
Will’s voice hammered through the walls.

Lauren’s hand tightened around mine. The shouts died down, the rest of the argument audible from this distance, and Lauren and I sat in silence for a few minutes as she held my hand securely.

“Everything will be okay,” she said, and released my hand. “Will needs to talk to Nathaniel. He’s been very troubled lately. He needs help, and Nathaniel has been there for him forever.”

I nodded. “They’re practically brothers.”

She paused thoughtfully. “Nathaniel’s taken care of Will. It’s always been the hardest when he doesn’t have you around to give him focus. But Will was so young when his mother died, and Nathaniel has been his only family. Nathaniel is always here when you can’t be, and he offers Will guidance, which is what he needs most right now. He needs to be told that it’ll all be okay.”

I knew what it was like to need to be told that. Even now I forgot that Will needed someone to help keep him standing sometimes, too. “It will be. Everything will be okay.”

Lauren smiled at me. “It will.”

Sometime later, the door to the garage opened and I heard the boys’ footsteps on the hardwood floor. Nathaniel walked into the living room with an even expression and sat down on the loveseat opposite the couch Lauren and I sat on. Will appeared at the edge of the carpet and the wood floor, and his cool green eyes met mine gently. The look he gave me was one I knew well—and feared. He wanted to talk.

I stood and followed him through the house to the staircase, each of my steps wobbly and weak, my heart fearing the worst. Will led me into his room and shut the door behind us.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, my voice childlike and quiet.

He smiled, and relief washed over me. “Nothing. Nathaniel and I had a good conversation.”

“That’s good.” I couldn’t keep the suspicious edge from my voice, as if I expected everything to come crashing down any second.

“I want to try it,” he said. “Us. I want to give us a try.”

My mouth parted in surprise. “You do?”

“You were right. You’ve been right all along. I’ve been a coward running from this. I don’t want to run anymore. I’ve tried so hard not to feel what I feel for you, because it’s dangerous.” He squeezed his eyes shut painfully. “You’ll die again, we both know it’s true, and Nathaniel helped me realize that I’m more afraid of the pain of losing you than of what Michael could do to me for loving you. I am devoted to
you
, not to Michael, and I am bound to obey
you
, not him. I’ve tried not to love you, but I’ve failed. It’s easier to love you than to pretend I don’t.”

“Then be with me,” I pleaded.

A small smile curved in his lips. “On one condition.”

I grinned back. “What’s that?”

He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the small of my back, tugging me to his chest. I threw my arms around his shoulders, sliding my nails up and down his neck gently. “Stay with me. And with Nathaniel and Lauren. All day. Be happy today.”

“That’s it?”

He bent down and kissed me richly. “Each time I look at you, I want to see a smile on your beautiful face.”

“Will you be looking at me a lot?”

“I’m always stealing glances,” he confessed. “You rarely notice.”

“Ugh, just don’t look at me before I’ve showered.”

“You’re always beautiful. Especially when you smile, so today will be dedicated to making that happen. We will do anything you want to do. We’ll make it up as we go.”

“Can we make root beer floats?” I asked.

He laughed. “Sounds great.”

“Can we make Nathaniel and Lauren dinner tonight? I want to thank them for being so good to us.”

“Awesome idea. I’m a terrible cook, though.”

“The eggs were only a little burned,” I teased and kissed his lips, feeling a low ache at the memory of this morning. “Can we build a snowman today?”

“Definitely.”

“Play video games?”

“As you wish.”

Just as Will promised, I was happy all day. I didn’t realize how late it was until I glanced out the window. The sun was setting and the sky was turning violet. I’d stalled going home long enough. When I’d finally show up back home, my mom would ground me for life this time. Begrudgingly, I passed my video game controller over to Nathaniel, just as someone on the other team shot my player dead.

Will looked up at me. “We can play something else, if you’d like.”

“It’s not that,” I assured him. “I’ve got to get home.”

“All right then.” He set down his controller and stood.

I smiled and waved to Nathaniel. “See you later.”

“Have a good night, Ell.” He respawned my player and continued the game.

Lauren rose and gave me a tight hug. “Drive safely. See you soon. I mean it.”

“Of course.” I waved good-bye and jogged upstairs to grab my clothes from last night. When I came back down, Will was waiting for me at the bottom of the steps. I stopped when I reached the third-to-last step, which made me just above being level with his eyes, so that I looked down into his face.

“Got everything?” His expression as he looked up at me was gentle and warm.

“Yep,” I said. “I think I’m going to go home by myself. I was supposed to be home in the morning, so my mom is going to be really mad about my being so late. Can you drive me to Kate’s so I can get my car?”

“If you need me,” he said, “I’ll be there within minutes.”

I smiled and ran my fingers through the front of his hair so that it stuck straight up. “I know I can count on you.”

He smiled back. “You can always count on me.”

I leaned down, one hand on the railing, and I kissed him gently. He tugged on the belt loop of my jeans and pulled me another step down so that I was eye level with him. He grinned, and I laughed and kissed him harder.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” he asked against my lips in a way that almost made me reconsider.

I drew back and touched his face, smiling. “I’m tired and I’m about to walk into World War Mom. Let’s go for a run tomorrow instead of patrolling, okay? I could use a good run.”

“Okay.” He kissed me sweetly. “Let’s get Lauren’s car again.”

He drove me to Kate’s house, and as we sat in her driveway for a minute, it was hard to say good-bye to him again.

“Thanks for the ride,” I said, and opened the door. “I’ll see you soon.”

Kate’s mom answered the door, and I went up to Kate’s room, where she was watching TV. She sprang to her feet when she saw me.

“Where the hell have you
been
?” she shouted, and yanked me into a tight hug.

“With Will,” I confessed. “He took me back to his place last night.”

“And?” She didn’t even hesitate.

“And … I don’t know. I’m glad he showed up and took me home.”

“We were having such a great time.” She seemed disappointed.

I laughed nervously. “Uh, yeah. Up until Brian started taking my clothes off.”

That made her pause. “Are you serious? Will didn’t say anything about that when he took you.”

I wouldn’t have expected him to. He was more of kick-ass-now-explain-self-later kind of guy. “Well, I’m glad he showed up. I was so gone I didn’t even know what planet I was on.”

“I’m going to freaking
gut
Brian.
And
Jay.”

“I can’t believe you left me alone with him,” I said, struggling to keep my voice even. “You have no idea—”

“God, Ell,” she said, her voice cracking. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t even thinking when we left the room. It’s all my fault.”

I exhaled. “We’ve got to look out for each other when we go to things like this.”

“I know …”

“Were you okay after I left?” I asked. “Why didn’t you come with us?”

“I was mad, I guess. Will pissed me off, and I wasn’t ready to leave. I don’t even remember crashing. At least Will beat the crap out of Brian and those guys out on the lawn. After you left, it was all anyone could talk about.”