X: The Hard Knocks Complete Story (32 page)

“You have to stop being afraid of that. Not everyone in this world is going to leave you,” I whisper. “You have to allow yourself to have some good in your life. You need to let me in and trust me.”

He gazes into my eyes as he cradles my face in his hands. “That works two ways, beautiful. Some things I keep from you would cause you more harm than good if I told you about them. I don’t want you to worry, which is why I won’t tell you about the details of today. Just know that I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, and I’d never do anything to hurt you. I promise you that. I’ve not thought about touching another woman since I’ve been with you. Trust me when I say, everything I do is to keep you safe. I love you, Anna—only you—and I meant it when I said I want to keep you forever. I wouldn’t do anything that might fuck this up between us.”

The pleading I see in his eyes tells me that he’s being sincere, that he didn’t mean to hurt me. As angry as I was with him earlier today, I can no longer bring myself to be mad.

How can I ask Xavier to trust me if I don’t give him the same courtesy?

He leans in and presses his forehead to mine, and then he closes his eyes. “Please, Anna. Don’t frown. I can’t stand to see you so upset.”

“I’m not mad at you, but we need to be completely honest with each other if things are going to work out between us.”

He sighs, and warm breath wafts against my lips. “I’ve never lied to you about anything, and I’ll be up-front about everything with you—except for this. This, you don’t need to know.”

“By saying that, I’ll only worry more.”

“Don’t.” His finger slides under my chin, and he tilts my head up. “Things will be all right. I’ll make sure of it.”

“If you would just tell me what’s going on, whatever problem you’re trying to hide from me, maybe I can help.”

He shakes his head, causing a lock of his dark hair to fall across his forehead. “Sorry, beautiful. No one can handle this but me.”

I stare into his eyes, and I know Xavier well enough to know that when he decides something, there’s no changing his mind. I have a sneaking suspicion that something from Xavier’s past has come back to haunt us both.

I sigh. “Then, I’m afraid, until you trust me enough to let me in, I’m going to need some time to think about things, to think about us.”

The worry in his eyes is clear as he processes what I said. “Anna…”

I swallow hard, and it takes every bit of my willpower to muster up the courage to take a step back, leaving the comforting warmth of his embrace. “I need time. You can take me to the airport tomorrow, but I’ll be staying at Aunt Dee’s tonight.”

The sad expression on his face nearly causes me to crumble and give in to him, allowing him to keep me out of the loop, as long as I get to be with him. But if I continue to live in the darkness of his secrets, I will never forgive myself for not standing up to him and demanding the truth.

Tears begin to burn my eyes, so I turn and run back into the restaurant because the last thing I want is for Xavier to see me cry.

O
ne of the
hardest things I’ve ever done is allow Anna to walk away from me without too much of a fight. She wants the truth. I completely understand that, but it doesn’t mean I can give it to her.

I lace my fingers together and stare up at the star-filled sky, wishing there were some way to make everything better. It kills me to be at the center of what’s causing her pain, and I seem to have been doing that a lot lately. If I were a better man, I would encourage her to leave me for a guy who wouldn’t hurt her all the fucking time.

I just can’t get this relationship thing right.

The door of the restaurant slamming shut catches my attention.

The shit-stain who was sitting next to Anna at the bar comes strolling out with a cocky grin on his face. “Bishop sends his regards.”

Adrenaline is still flowing through my veins, and I dare this shit stain to step to me.

I know exactly why he was sniffing around her. The symbols on his shirt are ones Bishop brands on his crew. It’s one of the marks on my forearm that I’ve tried damn hard to cover up with other tattoos.

Now that Anna’s out of earshot, there’s no need for all these fucking games.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?”

He rolls his shoulders back, like my threat doesn’t affect him, but I know better. If he’s a part of the Block crew, then he’s heard of me, so he must be well aware of the damage I could inflict on him in a matter of seconds. Being so damn brutal is what made me Bishop’s right hand. He knows, when I unleash on someone, it won’t be pretty.

“Bishop’s giving you one month to get shit together and make things happen, like he’s asked you to do, or next time, we get even closer to your girl.”

Heat washes through me. “You. Will. Not. Fucking. Touch. Her.”

He smirks. “You can’t be with her all the time, X. It was all too easy to track her down and get right up next to her. Don’t think we can’t do it again.”

“I’ll kill every fucking one of you. I swear to God.”

He laughs, and my chest puffs up as I curl my fingers into fists at my sides. I lunge forward, and the smirk falls off his face as he lifts his shirt in one quick motion.

A gleam from the bar’s sign shines off the solid steel tucked into the waistband of his jeans. “Don’t fucking try it.”

My eyes zero in on the gun, and then I glare at him. “If you think that will stop me from ending you, then that proves you don’t know my reputation very well.”

“You’re not quicker than a bullet, X.”

I fix my stare on him. “You don’t want to test that theory. I can fucking assure you of that. If you know what’s good for you, you’d walk away right now.”

He takes a step back. “Last warning, X. Do what Bishop says, or we’ll be back.”

My top lip curls of its own accord. “If you come around again, it’ll be your fucking funeral. No one will touch her. No. One. You run and tell Bishop that.”

The tension hangs in the air until the man backs away and hops into a black car. He squeals the tires as he pulls out of the parking lot.

The moment he’s gone, my hands begin to tremble as I come down from my adrenaline high.

It seems as though I need to make good on my promise to be Anna’s personal bodyguard and keep eyes on her twenty-four/seven anytime she’s in Detroit. Whether she knows it or not, she truly is incapable of handling every problem in this city on her own, and she will need me to watch over her.

After waiting in the parking lot for Quinn’s shift to end, I take care to follow Anna and Quinn home while keeping out of sight. It comforts me to know who’s around Anna, and if she refuses to come back to the house on Sycamore with me, then I’ll be forced to make sure she’s safe in other ways. And that starts with finding a place to park my bike where the girls won’t see it in her aunt’s backyard because I plan on spending the night out here, so I can keep watch over the house.

X
avier
behind the wheel of Quinn’s compact Honda would be almost comical if he didn’t appear to be so tired this morning. He’s so tall and broad that he barely fits in the seat, but it was necessary to borrow her car to drive me to the airport. Suitcases don’t exactly fit on the back of a motorcycle.

He’s wearing the same clothes he had on last night, and judging by the bags under his eyes, he hasn’t slept a wink.

I know the feeling because I tossed and turned all night, wondering if refusing to go home with Xavier last night was the right thing to do even though I needed to make it clear that I demand honesty from him.

After we go to the house on Sycamore to pick up my suitcase, we head to the airport. We haven’t said much to each other. Some tension from the things we said last night is clearly lingering between us, and it seems neither of us is going to budge to compromise.

Xavier parks the car next to the curb in the passenger drop-off area. “Guess this is it.”

“I don’t want to leave you, but this is the best thing for us right now. I want to be by your side when this is over.”

The sadness in his eyes is unmistakable, but surprisingly, he hasn’t asked me to quit my job with
Tension
in order to stay with him. It’s like it’s finally clicked with him that I need to keep this job, so we can be together when his suspension is lifted.

He reaches over and touches my cheek. He opens his mouth, like he wants to say something else, but he quickly closes it. Instead, he sighs and then flips open the door handle of the car. “Better get your bag. Planes don’t wait.”

I swallow hard when Xavier leaves me alone in the car. It’s hitting me that I won’t see him until Wednesday. Four days apart doesn’t sound like a long time, but we haven’t spent one day away from each other since we’ve met. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do this without breaking down into a complete puddle of tears.

I haven’t even left yet, and I’m missing him like crazy.

Xavier can’t see me like this. If he sees me hurting, he’ll ask me to stay, and I won’t say no.

I take a deep breath and lift my chin before opening the door. Xavier’s standing there with his hands shoved into his pockets with my suitcase by his side.

He sucks in his bottom lip before slowly pulling it through his teeth. “You got everything?”

Everything but you
, I want to say, but instead, I run through the mental checklist I made when I was packing. “I think so.”

He nods. “Just remember, stick with Brian and Liv. They’ll help you out if you need anything.”

“Got it.”

There’s a weird uncertainty between us, and I can’t think of a way to make it any better because leaving is something I have to do. There’s no time for a long heart-to-heart talk about what happened between us.

Xavier stretches his tattooed arms out toward me and then wraps them around me. He buries his face into my hair, and he inhales deeply, like he’s trying to commit my scent to his memory. “I’ll miss you every damn day. If you have any problems, call me.”

I cling to him, feeling the heat of his skin against me. “I will.”

He pulls back first. “Head in there before I make a huge mistake and throw you back in this car.”

I run my fingers along his jaw, scratching his stubble from his day-old beard. “I love you. This won’t last forever. The only thing that’s permanent is you and me.”

He nods and then leans in and presses his lips to mine. “Love you, too. Now, go.” He takes a step back as I grab the handle of my suitcase. “Later, beautiful.”

I head into the building, and when I turn to get a final glimpse of Xavier, he’s already gone.

The flight from Detroit to Seattle takes forever. Last time I flew cross-country like this, I was thoroughly distracted by the sexy wrestler sitting next to me while he was busy attempting to get into my pants.

When I finally get off the plane, I make my way through the airport to the exit. Seattle is a little cooler than Detroit, but it’s still a comfortable summer evening.

I search for a sign to point me in the direction of a taxi, but my eyes widen when they land on a familiar face.

Liv waves to me. “Anna!”

I head in her direction, rolling my suitcase behind me, and notice that she’s completely alone. “What are you doing here?”

“Waiting for you. X texted Brian and asked if we could look out for you, so I took the liberty of picking you up once X gave us your flight information. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not,” I say as I lean in to hug her. “That’s so sweet of you. Thank you.”

She releases me. “You’re welcome. Now, come on. Let’s get you over to the hotel. I parked just over here.”

Once everything is loaded into the back of Liv’s SUV, we hop into the cab.

She weaves in and out of traffic until we’re coursing down the highway.

She adjusts her butt in her seat. “So, how’s X holding up with everything? Brian’s worried about him.”

“He’s handling it better than I expected actually. When Mr. Silverman dropped the suspension on him, Xavier freaked out a bit, threatening to quit if they made me go on the road without him.”

She raises her eyebrows. “I’m assuming he’s gotten over that since you’re here?”

I nod. “We fought about it a lot at first, but me being here is for the best, and he realizes that. It’s just hard for us to be apart.”

“Young love, the kind where you can’t seem to get enough of one another”—Liv sighs with a dreamy expression on her face—“it’s a beautiful thing. I used to worry that those butterflies I felt when I first started dating Brian would fizzle away one day.”

I smile as I observe in the sappy look on her face. “I take it that you’re still madly in love?”

Her lips twist into a smile. “That obvious?”

I hold my fingers up, putting my thumb and forefinger nearly together, allowing less than an inch of space between them. “Only a little.”

We both laugh. It feels good because I haven’t laughed much since the whole suspension thing went down.

Xavier is always intense, so I’ve come to expect that from him, but with everything going on, it’s been hard to get him out of his own head. He worries so much, and looking back, we’ve been having a lot of heated discussions lately. I hope that when all of this is settled and he’s able to get back into the ring, playful Xavier will return. I miss that side of him.

We pull up to the hotel, and Liv drives under the awning of the building, but I don’t see a sign for valet parking.

“You didn’t have to pull up here. I can walk in with you after you park the car.”

“Brian and I aren’t staying at the hotel. We live not too far from here, so we prefer to stay home when
Tension
travels close. Kami sleeps better in her own bed, which means Brian and I actually get to sleep, too.”

“Speaking of Kami, is she with Brian?”

She nods. “Yes. They rarely get quality time together. Kami keeps him on his toes.”

I chuckle, picturing such a large man like Brian at the mercy of a little blonde two-year-old girl.

Liv pushes the button to pop the hatch on the trunk, and a bellhop in a burgundy suit makes his way to the back of the SUV.

“Call me if you need anything. I’m only about fifteen minutes away.”

I smile, thankful for her kindness. “Thank you so much, Liv.”

“Of course. What are friends for?”

My grin widens. It’s nice to finally have some friends after so many years of being cooped up with my father’s rules.

I hop out of the SUV and turn toward Liv. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the show?”

“You can count on it. I’ll be out there, front and center, to watch what they do with you, Anna Sweets.” She winks at me after calling me out on my stage name.

I roll my eyes. “I doubt they’ll use me tomorrow. Xavier isn’t here, so there’s no point in putting me in the show.”

“I don’t know, Anna. If they’re paying you, they’ll find a way to work you into the ring.”

My stomach flips, and I suddenly feel uneasy at the thought of heading out into that arena without Xavier. I’m not sure if I can do it alone.

Liv tilts her head, and by the expression on her face, I can tell that I’m not hiding my worry very well. “Aw, Anna, don’t be nervous. You’ll be great.”

“You think so?”

“I do. Don’t give it another thought.” Her cell phone rings from the console next to her. She glances down at the screen and shakes her head. “It’s Brian. I’m sure there’s an emergency, like a dirty diaper, and he’s freaking out. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I tell her good-bye, close the door, and then watch her pull away, laughing to myself as I think about Brian unable to handle Kami on his own.

“Checking in, miss?” the bellhop asks as he holds the handle of my bag.

“Yes. Thank you.”

I follow the short, pudgy man into the hotel lobby. “Would you like me to bring your bag up?”

“I can manage.”

He smiles and releases the handle. “Here you go. The front desk is straight ahead. Enjoy your stay.”

Tons of people are milling about with cameras and cell phones in hand. Over the past few weeks, I have learned these people are wrestling fanatics. They follow the superstars on social media so that they can figure out exactly where the guys will be. Autographs and pictures with their favorite wrestlers are a hot commodity among fans.

I’m sure a lot of them are looking for Xavier. It’s sad that he can’t be here because he loves his fans, and I know he probably misses giving back to them, like he usually does.

I weave around the crowd, and then I hear the name that Tension dubbed me with being shouted.

“Anna Sweets! Is X with you?”

I shake my head, a little dazed that they know who I am. “Sorry, guys. He’s not.”

The collective sound of disappointed fans echoes around the lobby as I continue to walk around them.

A rather skinny man wearing a T-shirt with Tension’s logo on it steps in front of me while holding a silver Sharpie. “Will you sign my shirt?”

The corner of my mouth turns up. “I’m flattered. Of course I will.” I scribble my name on his shirt, trying to be as neat as I can while giving my very first autograph. I re-cap the marker and hand it back to the guy. “There you go.”

He smiles. “Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome.”

I walk away from the mob of people, completely overwhelmed and humbled and totally smiling like an idiot.

Steps away from the front desk, I’m in line, waiting to check in, when a familiar voice sounds, reminding me of nails on a chalkboard.

“Who would’ve ever thought that the fans would ask for your autograph? They’re almost as pathetic as X with the way they’re fawning all over you.”

I turn to find Deena in a skintight blue dress, staring down her nose at me.

I fight the urge to roll my eyes at her and stick my tongue out like a five-year-old. “What do you want?”

She smirks and then throws her blonde hair over her shoulder. “Am I not allowed to make small talk with you?”

I shake my head. “I’d prefer if you didn’t.”

She lifts an eyebrow. “Well, we don’t always get what we want in life, do we?”

It’s not hard to tell that she’s still hung up on Xavier blowing her off, but I refuse to argue with her.

When she sees that I’m ignoring her, she folds her arms over her chest and continues to talk without invitation, “What does X think about your upcoming storyline with Rex? I bet he’s dying to watch you make out with another man on television.”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“Of course it is,” she says as she pretends to be occupied with her perfectly manicured nails.

“You heard Mr. Silverman the other night. It’s going to be weeks before Rex is back in the ring.”

“To wrestle,” she corrects. “He said it would be weeks before Rex returns in the ring for a match. It doesn’t mean that they can’t put the two of you into the show. Rex has excellent mic skills, and that pumps the crowd up nearly as much as the high-flying maneuvers he does.”

My brow furrows. “Are you telling me that Rex is here this weekend?”

Deena nods. “Of course he is, and I believe he requested a room right next to yours.”

If I could see my own face, I’m sure I’d see that all the color has completely drained from my face. My plan was to ignore Rex as best as I could when he returned from his injuries. I thought that would be a few weeks from now. I never dreamed he would be around so soon.

Xavier and I aren’t on the best of terms right now. Things are still so rocky between us. How is he going to handle knowing that Rex is back so soon and staying in the room right next to mine?

My panic must greatly amuse Deena. A catty witchlike laugh bubbles up from her throat as she turns and walks away, no doubt feeling like she accomplished her mission at getting me frazzled.

“Next? I can take the next person in line, please.”

My attention snaps to the lady at the front desk, wearing a required smile.

“Hi. Sorry. Anna Cortez.” I hand over my debit card and driver’s license.

The dark-haired lady types my information into the computer. “Okay, found you. Seems you were added on to the reservation originally in Mr. Cold’s name.”

“Yes. Is there any way you can confirm if my room is next to someone else’s?”

“Yes, ma’am. Name?”

“Rex Risen.”

She types in a few more things and then nods her head. “Yes, ma’am. He’s right next door.”

I sigh. “I hate to be a pain, but can I be moved?”

“Let me check.” Her eyes scan the screen. “Not at the price range you are currently in. Those rooms have all been checked in, but we can upgrade you to a suite for an extra four hundred per night.”

I grimace, knowing that I need to be careful with what I spend. “That’s okay. I’ll stay where I am.”

“Very well.” The lady finishes checking me in and then hands me a room key along with my other two cards. “Enjoy your stay.”

I make my way over to the elevator, and when the door slides open, a familiar face comes into view.

“Oh, good. Just who I am looking for,” Jimmy says as he steps off the elevator. “I’ve got something for you.” He opens the manila folder in his hands. “Here’s your itinerary.”