You're Strong Enough (11 page)

Your Quest for Answers

Start on your quest
for answers by writing down how grateful you are to have free agency. Think of a time you were forced to do something. How did that make you feel? Then write down the good choices you’ve made and how you felt after you made them.

Your second quest is
to write down the trials and challenges you have been faced with. Are they drawing you closer or farther away from God? If they are drawing you farther away, why? Do you blame God for the choices others have made that hurt you? If so, I encourage you to stop blaming God and start asking Him to help you. Ask Jesus Christ to begin healing you.

Then write down the trials you have overcome and post that somewhere you can read it everyday. This will give you strength when you feel discouraged.

Your third quest is
to write down what you have learned from your past experiences and how they made you stronger. Then write down those experiences in your past that you are still dwelling on. Think about how you can learn from them, so you can move on.

Your last quest for answers is
for those of you who are being abused. Write down the names of those in your life that could help you get out of the abusive situation. Then I want you to pray for a miracle and go talk with one of them today.

You are strong enough for your trials.

God cannot take away mans’ free agency.

You have the power to choose with perspective.

Miracles have not ceased.

W
hat does the quest for freedom involve? Don’t we have our freedom to choose? You
do
have the freedom to choose, and so do others who might unintentionally or intentionally hurt you.
The freedom I am referring to is from the darkness that clouds our minds when we don’t forgive someone who has hurt
us.

Our Heavenly Father cannot take away anyone’s free agency, even those that hurt you. But He can give you a way to free yourself from the anger, hurt, and hopelessness.

The all-powerful gift that can heal you when others have wounded you is forgiveness.
The power of forgiveness can change everything. It can change your outlook on your future, your feelings about the present and your perspective on the past. When you forgive someone for their actions that caused you harm, you are given the power to melt away all of your negative feelings toward them (i.e., anger, resentment, hurt, abandonment, hate, revenge.)

Have you ever been angry at someone and they had no idea you were mad at them? And that anger built up inside you, but it was not affecting the other person in the slightest. Or let me bring it closer to home. Let’s say you’re angry at your father for leaving the family. Whom is that anger destroying? For whom is the anger building up day after day until it is all-consuming? You. The dad, especially if he doesn’t know you’re mad at him for leaving, is probably unaffected by his hurtful actions.

Unforgiveness hurts and affects the one feeling it the most.
You may want to believe that being angry at someone because they hurt you will hurt them somehow. It doesn’t usually work that way. The negative feelings and emotions that come from unforgiveness will always affect you more than it could ever affect another.

Unforgiveness

Being unforgiving in your life could do more damage to you now and in the future than any other act could.
How? Unforgiveness is the underlining root to many, if not all, negative thoughts, feelings and emotions. Bad things happen to each of us at some point. Those who do not forgive the person that harmed them will find that the aftermath of negative emotions bring more darkness then the act itself could.

When we allow unforgiveness to create dark mists (anger, hate) on our path home, we are giving Satan permission to help dictate our choices about what we will do with these negative feelings and emotions. For example, while walking along your path you come across another who hurts you deeply (rape). As you allow unforgiveness to consume your thoughts, feelings and emotions, you convince yourself to rebel against those who are just trying to help you tackle this vertical mountain. As a result of trying to scale this mountain alone, while the anger is blinding you, you fall. As a result, this unforgiveness brought negative feelings and results that ultimately caused you more harm.

Another example, if you are really angry because your parents got a divorce and you feel you have every right to rebel against them and become reckless with your life, who is that hurting? If you are participating in illegal activities because of your rebellion and you get caught, who goes to jail? It’s not your parents. It’s you. On the other hand, if you were to forgive your parents for their poor choices and learn from their mistakes, you would be free to have whatever life you wanted.
Forgiveness brings freedom—not just freedom from the present negative emotions and feelings, but the freedom from Satan trying to be your puppeteer in your life because of negative circumstances.

Watch out for Satan’s Fiery Darts of Lies!

Another type of reaction that is caused by not forgiving another’s harmful act is revenge. Let’s say you have been hurt deeply by someone in your life and because of all the negative thoughts and feelings that consume your life at the moment, Satan convinces you to seek revenge. The day you decide that revenge is your best course of action against the one who has hurt you is the day you become a puppet in the hands of Satan. And when Satan becomes your puppeteer, he not only will help you destroy your life, but the other persons’ life as well.
As a result, he will have destroyed two people’s quests for the price of
one.

It is important to be freed from unforgiveness in order to conquer your quest successfully.
You may be asking, what about the one who raped me or beat me up or got me addicted to Meth. Must I still forgive them? Absolutely. After you have reported these illegal activities to the authorities, it is absolutely necessary for you to forgive them and let the law of the land claim its justice. Failing that, let God’s justice do it’s claiming. If we do not forgive those who have harmed us, then our hearts and minds will be filled with anger, hate, revenge and hopelessness. It could consume us and darken our path back home.

Unforgiveness produces negative and unproductive thoughts that can, and will, cause our hearts to be filled with hate, resentment and anger that can consume us.
Such negative feelings will affect our current relationships, how we view the world and, ultimately, our life.

Let’s say you find yourself not liking men, or you don’t trust them, but you have no idea why. Ask yourself: Are you currently angry at your father? Are you resentful he left the family? Did he hurt your mother? Have you forgiven him yet? Unforgiveness will always spew out into other areas of our lives as it creates a dark mist on our path home. Satan will try to convince us that anger towards another, like our father, will not affect other areas in our life. Therefore, you may not think holding a grudge against your father is a big deal. But judging by the results of not trusting men, now maybe it is.

It is very important to forgive everyone who has hurt us.
Unforgiveness will become like a noxious weed that can take over other beautiful things in our life (i.e., close relationships).
Distressed relationships are just the beginning of what unforgiveness can do in our lives. It also has a way of clouding our view of reality. The reality is that our pain will never go away until we forgive.

Who’s in Control?

When we let unforgiveness create darkness on our path home, it can greatly thwart our efforts of being successful on our quest. As a result, we let Satan and others control our future. Another’s actions have the potential to stop our progress. Let’s say you’ve been hurt deeply (i.e., -beaten), and you won’t let it go by forgiving the abuser. Who’s in control?

The abuser is in control. If you do not forgive the one who has harmed you, anger can take over your life. It can control you, you thoughts, your feelings, your outlook and, ultimately, your life. Do you want to give that power to the abuser again by reliving the experience and not forgiving him/her? When we don’t forgive others for their harmful actions, we are giving our power to Satan and the person who harmed us. The choice is yours.
Do you want Satan in control of your life through unforgiveness?

Resentment, anger, and hate caused by unforgiveness can create dark mists on our path home.
Those dark mists can lead us to self-destructive paths. As a result of the darkness, some will try to do what they can to mask the pain from unforgiveness.
These masks may look like drugs, alcohol, porn, suicide and premarital sex. Don’t be fooled by Satan. He will have you believe that these acts will make the pain go away. They won’t. They only make the pain worse by giving our future to Satan through following his path.

Use the Sword of the Spirit to cut through the lies Satan is telling you. The Spirit can, and will, teach you what is right and wrong for your life. As a result, the Spirit can help you heal from the pain you are going through by keeping the power of choice with you.

Anytime Satan tries to be your puppeteer through anger, fear and hate, remember to use the truths you know to be true (i.e., love, forgiveness, and peace) to cut through the strings Satan tries to attach to your soul.

Forgiveness will lead to healing. Healing will save you on your quest back home. Forgiveness is the key to ridding ourselves of darkness on our path and remaining strong for future obstacle courses. The Lord believes forgiveness is so important to our well being that He made it a commandment, as explained in Matt 18:21-22, “Then came Peter to him, and said, ‘Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?’ 22. Jesus saith unto him, ‘I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.’ ”
Why do you think it’s a commandment from God? Because this commandment is for
us,
not the other person.
God knows unforgiveness will cloud our view and tempt us to go off course. Whereas forgiveness will bring us clear skies, stronger muscles and sharper vision on our quest back home.

Forgiveness and Healing