06 Double Danger (28 page)

“What would you do if you discovered someone you thought of as a friend, someone you thought you really knew, was in fact something else altogether? It changes everything.”

“And nothing,” Avery said, with a shrug, his words sounding cryptic. “You know that we had a mole inside A-Tac.”

Simon nodded, taking a sip from his glass, the whiskey bitter against his throat. “He killed another team member. Hannah’s friend. Right?”

“Yeah. But the hard part of it all was that he was our friend, too.
My friend
. I cared about him every bit as much as I did Jason.” Avery paused, swirling the golden liquid in his glass. “So when he betrayed us, it was almost impossible to accept. Either we’d all been fools. Or he wasn’t the villain he seemed.”

“So how did you deal with the contradiction?”

“Well, on the surface, there was no question that he’d become the bad guy. Hell, he murdered Jason.”

“Which made you fools,” he stated, not really liking the direction the conversation was going.

Avery smiled. “In part, I suppose. But as with most things, the answer isn’t black or white. It lies in the middle somewhere. And it was only when I allowed myself to accept both sides of Emmett—the part that had been my friend and the part of him that turned against us—that I was able to come to terms with it. The Emmett I knew wasn’t the same man who betrayed his friends. Somewhere along the line, something changed. It doesn’t make what he did all right, but it makes it easier to live with.”

“So you’ve forgiven him?”

“I’m afraid I’m not that big a man,” Avery said, twirling the gold ring he wore on his little finger. “But I’m working on it. And you should, too. What happened between Ryan and Jillian wasn’t your fault.”

“How did you…” He trailed off, not sure that he was really surprised. It wasn’t the first time Avery had seemed to be omniscient.

“When someone comes into the unit, I make it a point to know as much about them as possible. Jillian has done a good job of keeping her private life just that. But I can be pretty determined when I have to be. Maybe that’s the lesson I learned from what happened with Emmett.”

“Or maybe sometimes even you can’t know everything.” Simon took another sip, staring down into the bottom of the glass. “I just don’t know how to process it all, you know? I thought I knew Ryan so well. How can I have missed something so monumental?”

“We see what we want to see.”

“Only now, she’s back in my life, and everything I thought was true turns out to have been a lie. Finally it’s my goddamned turn with her, but things are so fucked up I don’t know if it’ll ever be the right time. He hurt her, Avery, and I just stuck my head in the sand.”

“Did you know it was happening, Simon?” Avery asked, his big voice gentle.

“No. Of course not. If I had, I would have stopped Ryan. Taken her away. I don’t know—done something.”

“Well, then you don’t have anything to feel guilty about. You weren’t there. You didn’t know. And you just said that you’d have done something if you did.”

“But she tried to tell me, and I blew her off.” God, he sounded like a total jerk.

“It isn’t the same. You couldn’t have known.”

“But what if it’s too late?” he asked, realizing that he was terrified that the words were true. “What if it’s all just too much?”

“Then you’ll have to learn to live with it. But from what I’ve seen, that’s not what Jillian’s feeling at all.”

“I don’t know,” Simon said. “Maybe I’m the one who needs the space. To sort all of this out. To figure out how I really feel in light of what’s happened. It’s not like I was looking for a relationship. It just sort of fell in my lap.”

Avery absently turned the ring on his finger again. “I didn’t have very long with my wife, Simon. We’d only been married a few months when she was killed. And I’d give anything to be able to turn back the clock and skip over all the bullshit and insecurities and just tell her I loved her and wanted to live my life with her. We’d have had years instead of months. So don’t make the mistake I did. Don’t let fear dictate your actions. Celebrate what you’ve got. Revel in it. Because you never know when it could be taken from you.”

“Where have you been?” Jillian asked, her eyes fluttering open as she felt Simon crawling back into bed. “I woke up, and you were gone.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” he said, his eyes turning silvery in the starlight. “And I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re back.” She smiled as she reached for him, realizing that she meant every word. “The bed felt empty without you.”

He settled in beside her, framing her face with his hands, and then his mouth slanted over hers, the moment before contact seeming to last an eternity. Finally, their lips touched, and something inside Jillian combusted, a fire blazing with the frenzy of unbridled passion.

It was almost as if it were only the two of them, bound together by the kiss. She threaded her hands through his
hair, pulling him closer, opening her mouth, delighting in the taste of him.

He dropped his hands, one sliding to the small of her back, urging her closer still, the other cupping her breast, rolling her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, the exquisite pressure triggering ripples of heat, pooling between her legs. And then his lips were everywhere, her eyes, her cheeks, her ears and her neck, licking, stroking, his tongue setting her nerves on fire.

She grabbed his head then, forcing a kiss, her tongue sliding deep into his mouth, wanting to possess him as he had possessed her. They rolled over until her body was beneath his, his penis hard against her belly. Fumbling in her need, she wrapped her legs around him, opening herself for him as he thrust into her, each time deeper, the two of them struggling for rhythm, striving for release.

Pleasure surpassed itself until it bordered on pain, every muscle responding to her need. He kissed her face and breasts, biting her nipples, and using his hands on her hips to thrust harder—and then harder still.

She screamed his name, certain now that she was riding a wave of pure passion, and then the world split into white-hot light, and she forgot where he ended and she began, wanting only for the pleasure to go on forever.

Shaking now from the sheer joy of it, she drifted slowly back to reality, his skin hot against hers, his breathing ragged, their bodies still connected.

Then, gently, he rolled to his side, holding her close, as if she were the most precious thing in the world. His kisses now were almost reverent, his hands and his lips moving over her in a leisurely exploration that sent spirals
of sensation dancing through her as her body reawakened to his touch, the banked heat beginning to build again.

He kissed her shoulders and the soft skin along the inside of her arms, stopping to leisurely suck on each of her fingers. Then he kissed his way across her belly, giving equal attention to her hand resting there, then up the other arm with tiny kisses that led to her ear, his tongue tracing the whorl, then drawing her earlobe into his mouth, the gentle sucking sending her squirming against the bed.

With a smile, he slid lower, kissing the tender skin of her feet and ankles, moving ever so slowly upward, ratcheting her need with every stroke, every kiss, his hands clearing the way—massaging, kneading, exposing nerves she hadn’t even known she possessed.

And then just when she thought she couldn’t possibly feel any more—when she was certain he’d satiated every part of her—he pushed her legs apart, his hair tickling the skin high on the inside of her thighs. One minute she closed her eyes in anticipation, and the next she was arching off the bed, his hands holding her hips in place as he sucked her tender nub, each stroke of his tongue sending her closer and closer to the edge.

She threaded her fingers through his hair, urging him onward, her mind splintering with her rising desire. Burning hot color formed behind her eyelids. She was close, so close… and then he was gone.

The cold air taunted her.

She opened her mouth to protest, but he was there again, thrusting inside her. She lifted, taking him deeper, wanting nothing more than to be a part of him, her need for him overriding everything else. They moved together,
the friction unbearable, her pleasure and his coming together into a crescendo unlike anything she’d ever experienced.

For a moment, she was afraid, frozen on the edge of nothingness. And then she could feel his fingers linking with hers, and she let go, the world disappearing into the fury of their climax. She closed her eyes, letting sensation carry her away. And just for the moment, she forgot about her doubts, allowing herself to believe that as long as they were together, they could overcome anything.

The pounding seemed to match the throbbing pain in his leg. Simon stretched, trying to alleviate it, but nothing seemed to help, the sound growing louder and louder. And then suddenly he pulled through the misty cotton of sleep, coming fully awake as he realized someone was knocking on the door.

Beside him, Jillian’s eyes flew open, her face still foggy with sleep. “What is it?” she asked, her voice coming out a hoarse whisper as she pushed to a sitting position, the sheet held chastely over her breasts.

“I don’t know,” Simon said, already out of bed, pulling on his sweats. He crossed the room and opened the door to find Hannah on the other side, her eyes reflecting something just this side of panic.

“I’m sorry to bother you guys.” She shot a regretful look over his shoulder at Jillian, who was standing now, still wrapped in the sheet, her face mirroring his concern. “But this can’t wait.”

“What is it?” Jillian asked, coming to stand beside him as if it were the most normal thing in the world for the two of them to be in bed together.

“The air cannons,” she started, her words coming out in a tumble, “at the baseball game.”

“The confetti?” Simon asked, his mind racing at the expression on her face.

“Yes.” Hannah nodded. “It was laced with anthrax. There are already at least ten reported cases. And we’re expecting more. You guys were there when they went off. So you were exposed. You need to get to the hospital to get tested as quickly as possible.”

“You never know when it could be taken from you.”
Avery’s words from last night rang in Simon’s ears as his gaze locked with Jillian’s, his heart twisting as the full ramifications of Hannah’s news hit home.

T
he overhead light in the hospital containment room was blinking on and off with annoying regularity. Dressed in scrubs, Jillian paced back and forth, watching out the windowed door for some sign of activity. The doctor had told her they’d be back in half an hour, and it had already been well over an hour. And she was going crazy. Isolated without any way to contact the rest of the team.

She and Simon had been separated on arrival. She’d been taken to a decontamination chamber and then a doctor had examined her mouth and nose, taking samples and leaving her to wait. They’d taken her cellphone and left her alone with her tumultuous thoughts.

There hadn’t been time for talking. They’d wanted to avoid any further contamination of the brownstone. So they’d thrown on their clothes and driven to the hospital. The rest of the team had traveled separately, so she hadn’t seen anyone since leaving Simon at the entrance. And
now the suspense was killing her, imagination far worse than anything reality could dish out.

From an intellectual point of view, she knew that even after exposure to anthrax, there was a good chance of survival if the patient was removed from the source of contamination and treated with antibiotics. But emotionally, her mind insisted on replaying the moment when she and Simon had stood amid the falling confetti, the air quite possibly filled with anthrax spores.

How the hell had they missed it? There’d been so much security present. Of course, they’d also missed a drug dealer with a gun. She ran a hand through her hair, wishing to hell someone would come and tell her what was happening. Or at least let her see Simon.

The most frightening thing about all of this was the idea that she and Simon had only just found each other again. She knew that there was validity in her need to move slowly—to be certain before taking the leap into another relationship, but just at the moment, none of that made any sense. Life was short. It could end at any moment. Especially in their line of work. Caution was a waste of time.

She should have told Simon how much being with him had meant to her. Should have told him that she wanted to give them a chance. No matter how scary it was to say the words out loud. The truth is that she’d loved him for such a very long time. And now, suddenly, he was here. And although he hadn’t told her he loved her, he’d certainly made it clear that he wasn’t going anywhere.

So maybe she was being foolish to try to keep him at arm’s length. Maybe it was time to let go of the past and grab on to the future. That is if they had one.

She blew out a breath, taking her hundredth turn around the room. She was talking crazy. The only people who died from anthrax exposure were the immunocompromised. Which wasn’t anyone on the A-Tac team. Of course if the anthrax had been upgraded, modified to make it more deadly…

She stopped in front of the door, slamming her hand against the window, her stinging palm somehow making her feel better—more alive. She sucked in a breath, relieved to find her lungs still clear, no sign of pulmonary damage. She might be scared shitless, but she was breathing just fine. And facts always outweighed irrational fear, except that her fear apparently hadn’t gotten the message.

She closed her eyes, leaning her head against the cool glass, thinking of Simon. He’d been through so much. The attack in Somalia, the loss of Ryan and most of his team. The damage to his leg. Losing his place with the SEALs and then her revelations about his best friend. And now this.

Please God, she prayed, let him be all right. Let them both be all right.

The doorknob rattled, and she jumped back as a nurse pushed the door open.

“Ms. Montgomery?” the woman asked, consulting a clipboard in her hand.