1 The Bitches of Everafter (13 page)

23

If The Shoe Fits

Beast and Bella wandered into the kitchen, and Bella stuck her head in the refrigerator to find some dinner for the dog. She settled on leftover meatloaf and gravy, cracked an egg on top, mixed it all up, and fed Beast outside.

When she came back into the kitchen, the empty bowl in her hand, she wore a confused look. “Did you guys see that apple tree? The thing is huge now. How the hell did that happen?”

Snow and Aura exchanged a nervous glance. Snow said, “Fertilizer. Hansel’s a master gardener I guess.”

Bella stole a glance back at the screen door. She turned to Snow, skepticism crawling all over her face. “Really? Is he also a wizard? Because trees don’t grow overnight.”

Snow shrugged. “How should I know? I only arrived a few days ago.”

Aura grabbed a bottle of wine from the table and poured herself a healthy glass. Bella’s eyes followed her.

“Aura?”

Aura drank half the glass in a few gulps. “What?”

“The tree. Out back. Did you see it?”

She shifted her eyes to the table, feigning interest in the flowers Snow had put in a vase. “I avoid nature at all costs, Bella, you know that. Since when are you so interested in the landscaping?” She finished her wine and poured herself another glass.

Bella crossed her arms defensively. Aura was appealing to Bella’s lackadaisical attitude about the house and Snow hoped it would work. They certainly couldn’t explain things to her yet, not until they had a better handle on them.

Bella narrowed her eyes, clearly not used to being challenged. “Well, I’m not, but when a tree as tall as a skyscraper appears from nowhere, I notice. It’s called being observant. And why are you acting like a bitch on wheels?”

Punzie and Bob came into the kitchen then. Punzie said, “She’s still pissed that I put a frog in her bed, aren’t you, Sticky Fingers?”

Aura whirled on Punzie. “That was you?” Then she spotted Bob and jumped onto a chair. “What’s it doing back in the house?” She was doing the creepy-crawly dancing thing again.

Punzie said, “He lives here now. We’ve bonded. Get used to it.”

“Snow...” Aura whined.

Punzie and Bella looked at each other. Punzie said, “Oh, like Miss Priss here is going to rescue you. Right.”

Snow gave Aura a slight shake of her head. To the others she said, “I helped Aura out by taking, er, Bob outside earlier. No big deal.”

Punzie pulled a chair out and poured herself a glass of wine. “Well he’s my friend and I say he stays.”

Snow said, “That’s fine. Perhaps not around the dinner table, though.”

Bella’s look of amusement told Snow that she was calculating how many seconds would pass before Punzie cold-cocked her.

Punzie gathered her braid in front of her, swinging it like a jump rope. “Who died and made you queen bitch?”

Uh-oh.

Back in Enchantment, the other four princesses had appointed Snow the peace ambassador of the kingdoms for precisely these types of situations. Snow had a knack for dispelling disputes and interjecting reason into any argument, and the rest of the princesses knew that if they were to get anything done they would need someone to act as a mediator.

But they weren’t in Enchantment anymore. Here, they thought Snow was meek as a mouse. Much as she hated it for now, she would have to play that role.

Snow raised her arms. “Do what you want, but when Granny comes home, I don’t think she’ll be too happy to find a frog in her kitchen.”

Punzie frowned. She looked down at Bob. He gazed up at her with adoration. “Damn, you’re right. I wore my leopard platforms one time to Sunday dinner and she confiscated them right there. I still haven’t found where she hid them.”

Snow, hoping to gain another recruit in her off-limits rooms expedition said, “I might be able to help with that.” She shot Aura a conspiratorial look.

Bella said, “Mission spic and span is still on the agenda, I take it.”

Punzie flipped her braid over her neck. “What are you talking about?”

Bella thumbed at Snow. “Princess Curious over here has her panties in a bunch over the condition of this giant fire hazard and she thinks there’s some deep dark secret in the ‘Do Not Enter’ rooms.”

Punzie rolled her eyes. “You mean Granny’s rooms o’ crap.” She looked at Snow. “Have you seen the garbage she hauls in from those flea markets? Some of that shit literally had fleas in it.”

Snow gave Bella a questioning glance.

Bella said, “It’s true. I had to hose down Beast with five gallons of flea dip a couple of weeks ago.” She reached for a slice of bread. “And that is not a fun task, believe me.” She plopped herself in a chair and buttered her bread. “It’s like washing an elephant with an ornery disposition.”

Punzie said, “Well, I certainly don’t want Bob to end up in a closet, so I guess I’ll take him to my room before Granny gets home.”

Cindy ushered into the kitchen, breathless. She was wearing dark sunglasses, a trench coat, and stiletto heels.

“Speaking of closets,” Punzie said as she brushed past Cindy and into the hallway.

“Piss up a rope, pole girl,” Cindy snapped over her shoulder. She rushed over to the table. “So she’s not home yet? I’m not late?”

Snow said, “No, you’re right on time.”

“Whew, thank the god of shoes.” Cindy poured herself a glass of wine.

Bella smirked at her, crossing her arms. “You think that’s wise?”

“Not now, Bella. I need this to calm my nerves.” She downed the whole glass and slammed it on the table. She pulled her sunglasses down and looked around the room.

Aura stepped down from the chair. “What’s wrong with you? You look like a flasher.”

Cindy pointed at her. “You would be especially proud.”

“I doubt that, but I’m intrigued. Go on.”

Cindy swung her head around the room again. She went to the back door, closed and locked it. Then she skittered back to the table. She untied her coat and said, “Look what I’ve got.”

Bella gave Cindy a sarcastic smile. “We all saw what you’ve got the last time we went to Witch’s Brew. The entire bar saw what you’ve got.”

“Funny.” Cindy smirked.

Bella shrugged. “I try.”

Cindy pulled out a black leather box about the size of a shoe box. There was a pink silk ribbon wrapped around it with a crisp tag dangling from it. Judging from the number on the tag and the tiny picture of a shoe, it seemed that a shoe box was exactly what it was, although Snow had never seen such elaborate packaging for a pair of pumps.

“Check it out. Doesn’t it look delicious?”

They gathered around the table to examine Cindy’s new treasure.

“Shoes.” Aura shrugged. “Why would that impress me?”

Cindy gave Aura an exasperated look as Snow stepped forward for a better view.

“Not just any shoes.” She glanced from one woman to the other. “I stole them from the shop.” She bit her bottom lip and giggled.

“You lifted a pair of shoes from your ex-husband’s store? He’s a gazillionaire, Cindy.” Bella rolled her eyes at Cindy’s frown. “But hey, Trevor 26 million, Cindy one.” She gave her two thumbs up. “Good job.”

Cindy put her fist on her hip. “Honey, you may know books, but you don’t know shit about shoes.” She turned the box around and lifted it up to reveal a photograph of what looked like a pair of four inch heels made entirely from diamonds.

Snow gasped and swung her head to Aura. They exchanged a wide-eyed look. They knew those shoes. They were the foundation of Cindy’s story.

“One of a kind Hilda Cobbler crystalline pumps with an unbreakable diamond heel and a sapphire bow. She only made one pair in a few sizes.” Cindy clapped her hands.

Snow clutched her stomach.

Another nemesis. First, it was the poisoned apple from Snow’s story. Then it was the spinning wheel from
Sleeping Beauty
. And now, Cinderella’s glass slipper.

How were these items finding their way to the princesses? To Everafter? The original cursed artifacts had been locked in a vault back in Enchantment, sealed, along with their written biographies. There was talk of destroying them, but the princesses had been warned that the consequences of doing so were unknown. It could be devastating not only to the women themselves, but to their kingdoms, to history, and anyone else their stories touched. The risk was too great.

Were those pieces still locked away in Enchantment? Or had they been stolen? Could a seed from the original apple have been planted here in Granny’s yard? Could the spinning wheel have broken through whatever veil cloaked Everafter? Was someone sending them the links to their lives?

And if so, to what end?

Cindy said, “I didn’t even try them on yet, I just grabbed them and bolted.” She ran her slender fingers along the box, practically purring. “You want to see them?”

Snow and Aura shouted at the same time. “No!”

24

Guess Who’s Not Coming to Dinner?

Granny was late.

Throughout the course of the evening, the other women mentioned a few times how rare it was for Granny to be late for Sunday dinner and that she had never, ever missed the meal entirely. Snow wondered for the umpteenth time who Granny was exactly. And what was keeping her.

“Where do you suppose she is?” Snow asked around nine p.m. to no one in particular.

Cindy was on her second bottle of wine. “Who knows? Maybe she broke down and hit the Bingo tables.”

Punzie said, “Nah, I don’t think so. Granny slayed that dragon a long time ago.”

“Well if you don’t feed me soon, someone will need to carry me upstairs.” Cindy hiccupped.

Aura shot a look at Snow and she knew precisely what it meant.
Fine with me
. Earlier, while rummaging for the corkscrew she had tossed in a drawer, Snow and Aura had hatched a plan to confiscate Cindy’s shoes and hide them. They didn’t think she was ready for the truth yet, least of all in her inebriated state. If she needed help getting to bed, it would be the perfect opportunity to take them, as Cindy had stashed the slippers away in her room hours ago.

Snow got up from the table and said, “All right, dinner won’t stay fresh much longer anyway.” She looked at Aura, pointedly.

Aura poured more wine into Cindy’s glass.

Bella said, “I’ll help.”

Snow didn’t think much of it until Bella pinned her in front of the stove. “Okay, something stinks around here and I don’t mean your perfume.”

Snow snapped her head toward Bella. She wasn’t certain if she was more surprised that Bella seemed to be accusing her of something or that she didn’t like Snow’s scent. It was herbal. Reminiscent of the smell of cut grass. Everyone liked the smell of cut grass. It was a fact.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Snow said.

“There is something going on with you and Aura, and I want to know what it is right now.” Bella’s eyes blazed.

Snow squirmed away from her. She didn’t want to get into any of this with Bella any more than she did Cindy, or Punzie for that matter. In due time, she would try to sort out this mess, but right now she didn’t have all the answers. Heck, she hardly had
any
answers. What was she supposed to tell her?
You’re actually a royal princess, leader of an enchanted kingdom that has magic and beauty far beyond your wildest dreams, but somehow we’ve all been sucked into this dreary otherworld where we’re treated as common criminals. Oh and your dog? There’s a good chance he may have once been your prince.

Snow said, “I helped her get rid of a frog. She helped me clean out a closet. You know this already.”

Bella leaned in a bit closer and lowered her tone. “I think you’re full of shit. I think there’s something more going on, and I want to know what it is.”

Bella had always been a force to reckon with, but deep down Snow knew that although she was fierce, she was also fair. She wasn’t the violent type, but if there was one thing that drove Bella mad, it was being out of the loop. Being denied access to records, information, news, stories. She must have been having some sort of a breakdown without books—her outlet for her obsessive compulsive yearning for knowledge.

Snow said, “Okay fine, I offered to, um...”

Think, Snow.

“To what?”

Snow had no idea. She hadn’t thought the lie through. She bit her lip. “Uh...”

Aura walked up and whispered, “You’re not telling her our little secret, are you, Snow?”

Snow felt her eyes grow to saucer size as she looked at Aura. “Certainly not.”

What was Aura up to?

Aura cocked her head back toward the table where Punzie and Cindy sat.

“Snow’s going to help me get back at Punzie.”

Bella leaned closer and smiled. “Really, how?”

Aura nudged Snow. “Tell her.”

“Right, um...” Peanut dashed by just as Snow glanced down at the floor. His whiskers twitched as he stopped to squeak at her. “Mice! Lots of mice. In her bed.”

Bella made a face. “Ew. Count me out.”

Punzie called, “Hey, can we eat sometime before Flasher Barbie over here climbs up on the table?”

“Afraid I’ll give you a run for your money, Punzie?” Cindy spilled some wine as she stood up and jutted her hips to a tune that must have been playing in her own head.

“Oh, please. Like you could
balance
on a stage, let alone dance on one.” Punzie snorted.

Cindy wagged her finger at Punzie. “I’m going to ignore that partially because I’m feeling great about screwing over Trevor and partially because at the moment, that might be true.”

Snow clapped her hands. “Okay, no sense waiting for Granny any longer.”

She reached into the refrigerator and pulled out the salad and dressing. Bella grabbed the vegetables and pot roast, and Aura rummaged around in a drawer for serving utensils.

They ate in relative silence, with nothing but the tick of the clock and the scrape of cutlery on plates interrupting the calm.

It was clear they were all wondering the same thing.

Where was Granny?

The next morning, Snow was awakened by a soft rapping. She threw the covers off and climbed out of bed, shuffling to the door. Aura whispered, “Snow, it’s me.”

She opened the door to discover a frantic-looking Aura standing before her. Dark rings drew circles around her green eyes, her hair was tied into a frenzied knot, and she was wearing the same clothes she’d had on the night before.

She rushed into the room and closed the door behind her softly.

Snow yawned and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “You look as if you haven’t slept a wink.”

“I haven’t.” Aura scurried to the window to cover it with a pillowcase and spun back toward Snow. She grabbed a small bottle from her back pocket, unscrewed the cap and gulped its contents. It had the word ‘energy’ slashed across it in pointy blue letters.

Aura wiped her mouth and Snow said, “Aura, why don’t you have a seat? You look like you could use a rest.”

Aura cracked her neck and danced in place. She jabbed the air a few times. “I’m fine—just need to stay awake long enough to get through group.”

Right, it was Monday. The first day they would all attend therapy together.

Snow felt a concrete weight settle into her stomach. She was dreading the session. Dreading seeing Jack again. Especially knowing that he had no idea who she was.

Or did he?

One problem at a time, Snow
.

“What kept you up all night, Aura?”

Aura jittered around the room like a buzzing fly. She opened Snow’s closet and filtered through the few belongings hanging from the rod.

“I was waiting up for Granny. I wanted to see if somehow I could recognize her, lift a vibe from her or a memory, anything that would fill a piece of this fucked-up puzzle.”

Snow watched as Aura shut the closet, wondering what the heck the princess was doing, but understanding that the woman was already on the edge.

“And?”

Aura opened the desk drawer. “And what?” She lifted up Cotton’s blanket as he slept. He made a soft mewing sound and rolled over.

Snow tapped her foot. “Did you uncover her identity?”

Aura was on the floor now, her head lodged under the desk. “No. And do you know why?”

“Enlighten me.”

Aura stuck her head out. “Because she never came home.”

Snow’s mouth dropped. “What?”

Aura crawled out from beneath the desk and went to inspect under the bed. “Yep.” Her voice was muffled as she shimmied her narrow hips under the squeaky metal frame. “First time since I’ve been here that she hasn’t come home at all.”

A sinking sensation swept over Snow. This was bad. Very bad. She felt it instinctively. Once upon a time, Snow White hadn’t followed her instincts, and because she was more trusting of others than her own self, it got her...well, killed, actually. After that experience, she’d vowed never to ignore her gut feelings again.

Granny was involved in their predicament one way or another.

So was she a friend? Or a foe?

Aura was now rifling through Snow’s empty suitcases.

Snow said, “Do you mind telling me what you’re doing?”

Aura frowned and dropped the tweed suitcase. She planted her hands on her hips and looked around the room. “Checking for bugs.”

Snow stiffened, “I’ll have you know this space is cleaner than an operating room.”

Aura rolled her eyes, “Lighten up, Your Highness. I was talking about the electronic kind.” She tapped her ear. “Listening devices.”

They were standing in the smallest, tidiest room in the house. If there had been any such article present, Snow would have found it, and she said as much to Aura.

“I figured. I swept the house last night and came up with nothing. It’s clean. And I found nothing in Granny’s room to tell us who she really is or anything to indicate she was plotting against us. Just a whole lot of receipts from flea markets and a book inventorying all of her junk.”

“Do you have it?” Snow asked.

Aura reached into her back pocket and tossed a spiral bound notebook to Snow. She flipped through a few pages then looked at Aura. “So what do you suppose any of this means?”

Aura bent over and shook her arms and shoulders, raking her fingers through her long hair. When she stood up, she faced Snow with a solemn expression. “It means Granny’s one of the good guys. And I think—”

The realization of what Aura was proposing charged at Snow. “One of the bad guys took her.”

Aura’s eyes glistened and her lips fell into a grim line as she nodded.

Snow stood and tucked the notebook into her desk for the time being. “We have to find her.”