10 Ten Big Ones (15 page)

My dad had retrieved Uncle Sander's Buick from the police and the Buick and Ranger's truck were now locked up together.

'What a nice surprise, ' Grandma said when she saw me at the kitchen door.

'I can't stay, ' I told Grandma and my mother. 'I just wanted to tell you I'm leaving Ranger's truck in the garage. '

'What about our car?' my mother wanted to know. 'Where's your father going to park the LeSabre?'

'You never use the garage. The LeSabre is always parked in the driveway. Look outside. Where is the LeSabre? In the driveway. I had to drive around it to get to the garage. '

My mother was cutting vegetables for soup. She stopped cutting and looked over at me, wide-eyed. 'Holy mother. There's something wrong, isn't there? You're in trouble again. '

'Did you steal the truck?' Grandma asked hopefully.

`I'm not in trouble, and there's nothing wrong. I told Ranger I'd take care of his truck while he's out of town. I was going to use it, but I've changed my mind. It's too big. '

My mother didn't really want to know the truth, I told myself.

The truth wasn't good.

'It is big. ' Grandma said. 'And you know what they say about the size of a man's truck. '

'I'm off, ' I said. 'Lula's waiting for me. '

Grandma trotted after me. She stopped at the front door and waved at Lula. 'What are you girls doing?' Grandma asked. 'Are you chasing down a killer?'

'Sorry, ' I said. 'No killers today. I'm going car shopping. I need something to tide me over until I get the insurance check from the

Escape. '

`I'd love to go car shopping, ' Grandma said. 'Wait a minute while

I tell your mother and get my purse. '

Wo, ' I said. But she was already running around the house, gathering her things.

'Hey, ' Lula yelled from the curb. 'What's the holdup?'

'The Three Musketeers ride again, ' Lula said.

Grandma bustled out of the house and climbed into the

Firebird's back seat. 'What have you got?' Grandma asked Lula.

'You got 50 Cent? You got Eminem?'

Lula slid Eminem into the slot, punched up the sound system, and we motored off like distant thunder.

'I've been thinking about your car problem, ' Lula said, 'and

I know a guy who's got cars to sell. He don't ask a whole lot either. '

'I don't know, ' I said. 'If you buy a used car at a lot you usually get a guarantee. '

'How much do you want to spend?' Lula asked.

'A couple hundred. '

Lula slanted a look at me. 'And you want a guarantee for that kind of money?'

She was right. A guarantee was unrealistic. In fact, it was unrealistic to think I could find a car that actually ran for that kind of money.

Lula hauled out her cell phone, scrolled through the phone book, and dialed a number. 'I have a friend who needs a car, ' she said when the phone connected. 'Un hunh, ' she said. 'Un hunh, un hunh, un hunh. ' She turned to me. 'Do you need a registration?'

'Yes!'

'Yeah, ' Lula said into the phone. 'She'd like one of those. '

Isn't this fun, ' Grandma Mazur said from the back seat. 'I can't wait to see your new car. '

Lula disconnected, turned out of the Burg, and headed across town. When we got to Stark Street Lula hit the automatic door locks.

'Don't worry, ' Lula said. `I'm just locking the doors for good measure. We aren't going into the bad part of town. Well, okay, maybe it's a bad part of town, but it's not the worst part of town.

We're not going into gangland. This here is the part of town where the unorganized criminals live. '

'I used to work on this street when I was a 'ho, ' Lula said.

'No kidding?' Grandma said. 'Isn't that something. Are there any working ladies out now? I sure would like to see one. '

We kept a look out for working ladies but none turned up.

'Slow time of the day, ' Lula said.

Lula made a right onto Fisher, went one block, and parked in front of a narrow two-story house that looked like it was decaying from the bottom up. Clearly it had once been part of a row of attached houses, but the houses on either side had disappeared and only their connecting walls remained. The lots had been mostly cleared of debris, but the landscaping was war zone. An occasional piece of pipe remained, mixed into smatterings of crushed rubble that hadn't made the last truck out. A nine-foot-high razor wire fence had been erected around each of the lots. Refrigerators, washing machines, gas grills, lawn furniture, and a couple ATVs, all with varying degrees of rust, were displayed in the one lot. The second lot was filled with cars.

These lots are owned by a guy named Hog, ' Lula said. 'Besides the lots he's got a garage on the next block. He buys junker cars at auction, fixes them up enough to get them running, and then sells them to dummies like us. Sometimes he gets cars from other sources, but we don't want to talk about that. '

Those would be the cars without registration?' I asked.

'Hog can get a registration for any car you want, ' Lula said. It's just you gotta pay extra for it. '

Grandma was out of the Firebird. Those lawn chairs with the yellow cushions look pretty nice, ' she said. 'I might have to take a look at them. '

I jumped out after her and grabbed her by the purse strap.

'Don't leave my side. Don't wander off. Don't talk to anyone. '

A large guy with skin the color of hot chocolate and a body like a cement truck strolled over to us. 'Lula tells me somebody wants to buy a car, ' he said. 'You be happy to know you came to the right place because we got some fine cars here. '

'We don't want too fine a car, ' Lula said. 'We're sort of shopping for a bargain. '

'How much of a bargain?

'Two hundred dollars and that includes plates and registration. '

'That don't even cover my overhead. I got expenses. I got middlemen. '

'Your middlemen are all in jail, ' Lula said. 'The only expenses you got is filling your car with gas so you can drive over to the workhouse to pick up your sorry-ass relatives. '

'Ouch, ' Hog said. That's nasty. You're getting me all excited. '

Lula gave him a smack on the side of the head.

'Do you have a car, or what?' Lula said. 'Because we can go down the street to Greasy Louey. '

"Course I got a car, ' Hog said. 'Don't I always have a car? Have

I ever failed you?' He looked at Grandma and me. 'Which of you lovely ladies is buying this car?'

The, ' I said.

'What color you want?'

'A two-hundred-dollar color. '

He turned and considered the motley collection of cars huddled together behind the razor wire. Two hundred dollars don't get you much of a car. Maybe you be better to rent a car from Hog. ' He walked over to a silver Sentra. 'I just got this car. It needs some body work, but it's structurally sound. '

Needs some body work was a gross understatement. The hood was crumpled and attached to the car with duct tape. And the left rear quarter panel was missing.

The thing is, ' I said to Hog, 'I need a car that blends in. People would notice this car. They'd remember that they saw a car with only three fenders. '

'Not in this neighborhood, ' Hog said. 'We got lots of cars look like this. '

'Look at her, ' Lula said. 'She look like she gonna spend a lot of time in this neighborhood?'

'How about this car?' Grandma called out from across the lot. 'I like this car. '

She was standing in front of a purple Lincoln Town Car that was about a block long. It had terminal rust creeping up from the undercarriage, but the hood was attached in the normal fashion, and it had all its fenders.

'You could put a whole pack of killers in this car, ' Grandma said.

'I didn't hear that, ' Hog said. 'Don't matter to me who you hang with. '

"We don't hang with them. We arrest them, ' Grandma said. 'My granddaughter's a bounty hunter. This here's Stephanie Plum, ' she said proudly. 'She's famous. '

'Oh crap, ' Hog said, eyes bugged out. 'Are you shitting me? Get out of here. You think I want to die?' He craned his neck, looking beyond us, up and down the street. 'Not only would the brothers like to get hold of her, I hear they brought someone special in from the coast. ' He scrambled behind a car, putting some distance between the two of us. 'Go away. Shoo. '

'Shoo? Lula said. 'Did I hear you say shoo?'

'Some Slayer ride by here I be a dead man, ' Hog said. 'Get her off my lot. '

Lula said.

Fine. Take a car, ' Hog said. 'Take anything. Just go away. '

'We want this pretty purple car, ' Grandma said.

Hog gave Grandma another of the bug-eyed looks. 'Lady, that's an expensive car. That's a Lincoln Town Car. That's no two-hundred-dollar car!'

We wouldn't want to cheat you, ' Lula said. 'So we'll just wander around awhile and see if we like something less expensive. '

'No. Don't do that, ' Hog said. Take the friggin' Lincoln. I got the keys in the house. I'll just be a minute. '

'Don't forget the plates and the registration, ' Lula said.

Five minutes later, I had a temporary plate taped to my rearview window, Grandma was strapped into the passenger seat, and

Lula was a car length ahead of us, en route back to the office.

'I feel like a movie star in this car, ' Grandma said. 'It's like a big limousine. Not everybody can afford a car like this, you know. It must have belonged to somebody special. '

A gangster or a pimp, I thought.

'And it rides real smooth, ' Grandma said.

I had to admit the ride was smooth. The car was about the same size as Sally's bus and took two lanes to make a corner, but the ride was smooth.

Lula and I parked in front of the bonds office, and we all got out to reorganize.

'Now what?' Lula said. 'Are we going after Harold Pancek?'

'Yeah, ' Grandma said. 'Are we going after Harold Pancek?'

'Lula and I are going after Harold Pancek, ' I said. 'I should take you home first. '

'No way! What if you need an old lady to quiet him down?'

My mother would cut me off from pineapple upside-down cake for the rest of my life if she knew I took Grandma on a bust. Then again, I'd just driven Grandma down Stark Street, so I was most likely screwed already.

I felt obligated to say this but it was an empty demand because

Grandma never stayed in the car. Grandma was always the first out of the car. I was taking her along because I really didn't think we were going to find Pancek at home. Pancek had been here for a couple years but hadn't seemed to put down roots. According to

Connie's background search, Pancek's relatives and longtime friends were in Newark. I was guessing that after last night Pancek skipped back to Newark.

A gray late-model sedan drove by, hooked a U-turn in the middle of traffic, and parked behind the purple Lincoln. Morelli.

'Uh oh. ' Lula said to me. 'You got that look. '

'What look is that?'

That oh shit look. That's not a look from a woman who got some last night. '

'It's complicated. '

'I've been hearing that a lot lately, ' Lula said.

Morelli got out of the car and walked over, looking like a cop who'd just gotten rear-ended. The anger was tightly controlled, and the gait was deceptively relaxed.

Isn't this a nice coincidence, ' Grandma said to Morelli. 'I didn't expect to see you until tomorrow night. '

Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow, nor shoe sale at Macys could get me out of Saturday dinner with my parents. Like a spawning salmon, I was expected to return to my birthplace. Unlike a salmon, I didn't die, although sometimes I wished I could, and the migration took place weekly.

'I need to talk to Stephanie, ' Morelli said with his best effort at a pleasant smile, his hand at my neck, his fingers curled into the back of my shirt to discourage escape.

'Gee, we were right in the middle of something, ' I said. 'Can it wait?'

'Afraid not, ' Morelli said. 'We need to talk now. '

I followed him to his car, and we stood with our backs to Lula and Grandma to keep them from eavesdropping.

'Gotcha, ' Morelli said.

'Now what?'

'Now I take you back to my house and lock you in the bathroom.

'You're not serious. '

'About the television? Afraid not, I've only got one, and I'm not lugging it up the stairs. '

I gave him one of those looks that said get real.

There's a contract on you, ' Morelli said, 'and I ride by and see you standing here like a duck in a shooting gallery. A dead girlfriend doesn't do me much good. '

Well, at least he thought I was still his girlfriend. 'I was hoping the contract was just rumor. '

'My sources tell me there's a guy in town from LA. He goes by the street name Junkman, and it is widely believed he was brought in by the Slayers to take you out. From all reports, this is a very bad guy. Lots of talk about him. Virtually no useable information. At this point, we don't even have a description. '

'How do you know he's real?'

The sources are good. And the brothers on the street are scared.

Just so you don't feel too special, it appears you aren't the only one on his list. It's said to include a cop and two rival gang members. '

'Who's the cop?'

'Someone in gang intelligence. We don't have a name. '

1 think it's sweet of you to want to lock me in your bathroom, but it doesn't fit into my plans. And last time I was in your house we had a major disagreement over all this. '

Morelli ran a fingertip around the scoop neckline of my T-shirt.

'First of all, it wasn't much of a disagreement. A disagreement in my family involves restraining orders and bloodshed. Second, I like this little white T-shirt. ' He hooked a finger into the neckline and looked inside.

'Excuse me?' I said.

'Just checking. ' More of the smile.

'You wouldn't really lock me in your bathroom, would you?'

'Yep. '

That might be considered kidnapping. '