100 Things Dodgers Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die (32 page)

95. May Your Son Be a Magnificently Named Son

In the Dodgers Name Hall of Fame, in the team's Sobriquet Field of Dreams, pitcher Sweetbreads Bailey can taste victory, while Welcome Gaston ingratiates himself in the bullpen alongside Pembroke Finlayson, with Pea Ridge Day eyeing the soup and Kaiser Wilhelm itching to take the throne. The designations are dizzying for Dazzy Vance, who is starting tomorrow's lidlifter, followed by Van Lingle Mungo in the nightcap (Preacher Roe or Schoolboy Rowe are ready to step in if either needs saving), and Brickyard Kennedy is throwing on Sunday. Good ol' Still Bill Hill might get the call to bulk up the staff if he can be disturbed, otherwise Cletus Elwood “Boots” Poffenberger will arrive, hopefully not made for walking. And all the while, the fans clamor for Cannonball Crane, clap for Chappie McFarland, and wonder about Mysterious Walker.

Wee Willie Keeler leads off and roams the outfield of course, flanked by Hunkey Hines and Overton Tremper. Jigger Statz replaces Rip Repulski as the fourth outfielder; Lemmie Miller is the speedster off the bench. Spider Jorgensen spins a web at the hot corner, edging out sentimental choices Frenchy Bordagaray and Cookie Lavagetto, and Snooks Dowd surprises at second, thrilled to turn a double play with monumental legend Pee Wee Reese. Oyster Burns backs up Pee Wee but can also play the other infield spots in a pinch, if Possum Whitted isn't the sleeper choice to step in and neither Bunny Fabrique nor Rabbit Maranville have the hops. (Simmy Murch gets left in the lurch, Stuffy Stewart gets you-know-what, and Packy Rogers—born Stanley Frank Hazinski—packs it in.)

Who else will go behind the dish besides stout Farmer Steelman? Deacon McGuire raises his authoritative hand, volunteering for part of the doubleheader.

The rest bide their time—you know the story, “Wait ‘til next year!” Lady Baldwin, Win Ballou, and Buzz Boyle. Buster Burrell, Kid Carsey, and Moose Clabaugh. Watty Clark, Hub Collins, and Fats Dantonio. Wheezer Dell, Cozy Dolan, and Ox Eckhardt. Tex Erwin, Hod Ford, and Greek George. Lafayette Henion, Newt Kimball, Hub Knolls, and Candy LaChance. All feel they've earned their spot, but they'll wait their turn—alphabetically if need be, so dedicated are they to the cause.

Meanwhile, the beat writers keep their eye on the head-to-head battles: Patsy and Wild Bill Donovan, Broadway and Germany Smith, Jumbo and Rowdy Elliott, the Babes Dahlgren, Herman and Phelps, the Rubes Bressler, Marquard and Walker, and the closest call of all, Red Downey and Red Downs.

The Moniker Miracles have added few members in recent years, though Matt “The Bison” Kemp, “Weird Game” James Loney, “Golden God” Russell Martin, and His Royal Thighness Chad Billingsley are at least making it interesting. Vin Scully let the world know that Delwyn Young goes by Pee Wee at home, and there's nothing wrong with a proper homage.

But a challenge awaits the expectant Dodgers fan, a task at hand for the expanding clan. Have a child, take him to the park, play catch and set up the tee, drill him in the fundamentals and let him enjoy himself. But by all means, don't forget to give him a name we can savor, a name to stand the test of time. Give us another Boom-Boom Beck or Bones Ely, or at least another Buck Marrow. The Dodgers have a wondrous history in the scorecard as well as on the field—help them return to the glory days.

 

 

 

96. The Statement

Seemingly symbolizing the rebirth of the franchise following the end of the McCourt era, the 2012 Dodgers erupted to start their season, winning nine of their first 10 games and taking a 7
1/2
-game
lead in the NL West by Memorial Day, even surviving the hamstring-induced absence of Matt Kemp thanks to the heroics of players as obscure as Elian Herrera or as old as Bobby Abreu.

Come June, however, the pixie dust was wearing off, and that 7
1/2
-game lead evaporated in a month. In July, as the Dodgers battled to stay afloat against top rival San Francisco, the Dodger front office went to work. The team made a series of moves in the final week before the non-waiver trade deadline, most notably hitting up Miami for infielder Hanley Ramirez, a player who figured to be integral not only for the remainder of 2012 but for subsequent seasons.

While it was possible the Dodgers might make more moves after July 31, they figured to be fringe pickups at best. No one was prepared for what came next.

On August 24, fans learned that the Dodgers would be acquiring, not one, not two, but three major contracts from Boston: first baseman Adrian Gonzalez, outfielder Carl Crawford, and pitcher Josh Beckett, in addition to reserve infielder Nick Punto. What the Dodgers offered in exchange wasn't insignificant—a package that included right-hander Rubby De La Rosa, the team's top pitching prospect since Clayton Kershaw. But more stunning was the dollars the franchise was taking on: more than $270 million to be spread among the three players before Gonzalez's contract expired in 2018.

And it wasn't as if there were any guarantees. Gonzalez was considered one of the better first basemen in the game, but possibly past the days of being an elite slugger. Beckett was struggling to the tune of a 5.23 ERA, while Crawford wasn't even playing, instead recovering from Tommy John surgery after a low-output Red Sox tenure. The trade was more than an attempt to turbothrust the Dodgers to the 2012 pennant and beyond—it was a statement that the Guggenheim Group hadn't left all their money in the hands of Frank McCourt after buying the team.

If the trade was to be worth more than a mere statement, 2012 didn't provide a clue. Gonzalez hit a three-run homer in his first Dodger at-bat but struggled in the short term, Beckett was adequate but nothing more, and Crawford, of course, didn't play. Two games behind the Giants when the trade went down, Los Angeles lost 16 of its next 26 games to fall 11 back and out of the divisional race. A six-game winning streak in the final days of the season kindled wild-card hopes, but a bruising 4–3 loss to San Francisco extinguished them.

The reinforcements came in critical areas. The Dodgers needed a first baseman, needed a left fielder, and always need more pitching. But it was noteworthy that when the season ended, the Dodger front office still felt like it had more work to do and signed free agent starter Zack Greinke to a six-year, $147 million contract, the largest ever for a right-handed pitcher. No matter how much you spend, you still never, ever know where it will lead. But, as the Dodgers and their fans could tell you, poverty is no sure road to greatness either.

 

 

Evil

An unlimited buffet at a baseball game? Are the Dodgers trying to kill us? Or just make a killing? After all, the All You Can Eat Pavilion that took over Dodger Stadium's right-field bleachers in 2007 is no cheap ticket. You have to pack it away to make it worth your while, and then double-down if you're covering for any kids you bring. (Your best bet to out-eat your dollars is to get enough people together to book a group discount.)

On the other hand, even if you eat it on the financial side compared to what you would spend on regular left-field bleacher tickets and food, you'll walk away with few regrets of the non-gastrointestinal kind. It doesn't matter if the bleachers are filled to capacity; there's almost no waiting for Dodger Dogs, nachos, peanuts, popcorn, and soft drinks. Inhale, fill yourself up, exhale, fill yourself up again. You have an ample window, beginning 90 minutes before game time and ending two hours after the first pitch, to engage engorgement.

This being Dodger Stadium, the view from the behind the outfield and your food tray is resplendent. You might risk coherence if you find yourself in an unshaded seat on a blistering summer's day, but in cooler temperatures the pavilion could hardly be more pleasant. The upside of beer being excluded from the All You Can Eat price is that it helps keep a well-fed lid on most potential rowdies (if that means you, my apologies). And yet everyone's jovial, at least when the team is winning.

Culinary caveats: The pavilion's Dodger Dogs aren't grilled, there's no other main course, and the somewhat meager dessert options, like the beer, cost extra. And watch out for low-hanging beams supporting the bleachers—one misstep by anyone over six feet tall could brain you like a fastball to the ol' melon. Safer suppering can be found in the baseline box clubs, where the Dodgers have extended the all-you-can-eat option beyond the hoi polloi—but that's a whole other kettle of hot dogs.

 

 

 

The All You Can Eat Pavilion that took over Dodger Stadium's right-field bleachers in 2007 is no cheap ticket, but the upside is that there's almost no waiting for Dodger Dogs.

97. Join the Online Dodgers Community

Weirdness alert: Some of my best friends are strangers I've never met in person.

The Internet isn't a night at the ballpark. It isn't the local bar, for worse though sometimes for better. It isn't the sidelines at a Saturday morning softball game, or a Sunday afternoon barbecue with friends, or a chat on the phone with your kid or your old man.

The online world is broader than all that and more antiseptic and yes, sometimes angrier, requiring responsibility. It's also, if you navigate it with the same kind of simple common sense that tells you not to swing at a ball in the dirt, one of the most rewarding ways to expand your enjoyment of the Dodgers: right in your home (or on your cellphone and someday no doubt implanted inside your brain.) In order to have the best and most current understanding of Dodgers news and analysis, the Internet should be your bench coach.

It's not just the speed and frequency of updates that online sources provide. There's the access to a wide range of information at sites like the popular Dodgers.com (the Dodgers were early adopters of the Internet, and the depth of their offerings reflects that) and the richly historical Walteromalley.com. There's also the exposure to a wide range of ideas about every aspect of the Dodgers, and you can pick and choose what's important to you. Blogs and message boards, like everything else in life, come in a whole spectrum of quality and style, and it's easy enough to find one that suits you like a good teammate and enriches you like that magic batting tip you've always needed. You don't need to abandon any Old School principles or sentimental values to expand your Dodgers allegiance online. At the same time, there's nothing to be gained from assuming you know everything there is to know about the team—or that the other guy or gal does. Fans have so much to contribute to the Dodgers universe, and you should be a part of that.

Truly, there are friends to be made in the online Dodgers world. You may never see them in person, but they are real. And like those chums you meet at the ballpark, they can take you on a conversation that goes beyond baseball into some really funny or meaningful places. By all means, use all the caution you need when socializing on the Internet and especially if taking those relationships offline. But the days of living life as a Dodgers fan offline—those are horse-and-buggy days.

 

 

Marching and Chowder Society

It was a classic Vin-ism—before pointing out some player's accomplishment, he would preface by saying, “For members of the So-and-So Marching and Chowder Society …” This has prompted many a Dodgers fan to wonder, “Where the heck did this phrase come from?”

This might not be the last word on the subject, but it's a pretty good yarn even so.

In 1868, according to New England historian John McDonald, a man named Eldridge T. Hooper founded the Cherryfield Chowder Society in Cherryfield, Maine. “The organization's early meetings were in the old Cherryfield Town Hall,” McDonald wrote, “where Hooper and a small band of charter members would show up with their fixins and make themselves a huge pan of chowder and then serve it.”

As time passed, the society grew in both size and ambition. Unsatisfied by a multitude of different chowder recipes, the members decided to add marching to their raison d'etre.

Though in their wildest dreams, the good people of Cherryfield could not have imagined their group being adapted to honor Jose Vizcaino's 10
th
sacrifice bunt of the year, it's unlikely they would have objected as long as the steaming bowls of chowder kept coming.

98. World Series Drought, Part 1

The afterglow of a magical 1988 hung over Los Angeles into the year's winter months, but baseball fans are notoriously greedy. It was the team's first World Series title in seven years, only the second since 1965. How long would it be before they did it again?

Longer than anyone would have imagined. Long enough that before another title came, the franchise that wrote the book
The Dodger Way to Play Baseball
would lose its way.

Despite bolstering the infield before the 1989 season by trading for future Hall of Fame first baseman Eddie Murray and finding Yankee stalwart Willie Randolph to replace Steve Sax at second base, the Dodgers couldn't withstand the continued health problems of '88 NL MVP Kirk Gibson (who was limited to 292 plate appearances) and fell to 77–83 and fourth place in the NL West. To illustrate the difference between the two seasons, 1988 Cy Young award winner Orel Hershiser posted the same ERA+ of 148, but his won-lost record fell from 23–8 to 15–15.

Hershiser's workload caught up with him the following April, as he went out with the shoulder injury that would sideline him for nearly 14 months. And at the outset of the 1990s, the series of poor Dodgers drafts caught up with Los Angeles, which increasingly had to look outside the organization (Kal Daniels, Hubie Brooks, Juan Samuel) for help. Mike Scioscia was the only homegrown Dodger in 1990 to get more than 160 plate appearances. Murray led the major leagues in batting average, and 22-year-old Ramon Martinez added a 2.92 ERA (126 ERA+) and 223 strikeouts in 234
1/3
innings, but the Dodgers settled for 86 wins and a second-place finish in the NL West.

In a bid to put themselves over the top, the Dodgers again sought external help, bringing Darryl Strawberry back to his hometown before the 1991 season, along with center fielder Brett Butler. Both made huge contributions—Strawberry had 28 homers and a TAv of .312—but the Dodgers were sandbagged by the rise of the Atlanta Braves from last to first in the division. Though they resided in first place from May 14 until the final weekend of the season, the Dodgers lost two games at San Francisco while the Braves were defeating Houston to deprive Los Angeles of a postseason spot.

From 93 wins in 1991 came the 99-loss disaster of 1992, in which the offense, young and old, faltered in almost every way imaginable. But despite the well-chronicled, crushing trade of Pedro Martinez for Delino DeShields after that season, an infusion of young talent raised hopes of an imminent return to the World Series. Eric Karros, Mike Piazza, Raul Mondesi, Hideo Nomo, and Todd Hollandsworth gave the Dodgers five Rookies of the Year in a row. The Dodgers were swept in first-round playoff series in both 1995 and 1996, and Tommy Lasorda had given away to Bill Russell as manager after suffering a heart attack, but expectations were raised. Surely they were on the right track.

However, the 1997 Dodgers never recovered from a devastating 12-inning loss at Candlestick Park that knocked them out of first place with eight games remaining in the season. The following year, after the O'Malley family sold the team, the trade of Mike Piazza and Todd Zeile for Gary Sheffield, Bobby Bonilla, Charles Johnson, longtime Dodgers nemesis Jim Eisenreich, and a minor leaguer left the Dodgers in neutral: 19–21 before the trade, 64–58 after. Though the Dodgers had the third-best record in the majors (behind Atlanta and Oakland) from 1988–1997 and had gone to the playoffs more years than any team except the Braves, 10 years had passed since the team's last victory in a postseason game. Impatience dominated the Dodgers' next decade.

 

KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Sandy Koufax shares the Dodgers record for strikeouts in a game—and not just with himself. Koufax fanned 18 San Francisco Giants on August 31, 1959 (Koufax needing to score the winning run in the bottom of the ninth on a Wally Moon home run) and then matched that performance by striking out 18 Cubs at Wrigley Field on April 24, 1962.

But on June 4, 1990, a lanky 22-year-old right-hander from the Dominican Republic matched Koufax. Ramon Martinez shut out the Atlanta Braves on three hits while recording 18 of the first 24 outs by strikeout. Martinez couldn't break the team record, but in the post-Koufax era, the Dodgers have not seen a more dominating performance by one of their pitchers.

Martinez threw more than 120 pitches over a dozen times in 1990 and even crossed 130 and 140 pitches multiple times. His career peaked that season, offering at least one cautionary tale for those who suggest pitch counts—especially at a young age—don't mean anything.