100% Wolf (5 page)

Freddy didn't stop running until Pammy's Poodle
Parlour was way behind him. Eventually, he grew tired
and began to trot nervously down the main street. People
who passed him pointed and laughed out loud. He was
the daftest looking dog anybody had ever seen.

'Haven't you ever seen a wolf before? Shake in your
shoes!' he barked defiantly.

Nobody screamed, fainted or ran away for safety.
They just continued laughing. So much for being scary,
Freddy thought miserably as he passed the butcher's
shop. He looked up at the rows of dripping meat. He
was starving. There was nothing like the thought of
food to take Freddy's mind off his disgrace. He hadn't
had any breakfast and it was now eleven o'clock.

He pressed his little wet nose against the window.

'Yelp!' He jumped high into the air in shock.

Somebody had just sniffed his backside!

'Great stinking feet!' he woofed, turning round in
a fury.

There stood a scruffy, hairy mongrel. Its long black-and-white
hair fell down in strands over its big black
eyes. If the dog hadn't just sniffed his backside, Freddy
would have liked it immediately. It was exactly the kind
of dog that he would have wanted as a pet. He almost
smiled at the mongrel, but then he remembered the
terrible situation he was in. It was bad enough that he
was a poodle. If the Fang Council ever found out that
he associated with other dogs too, it would only make
his crimes worse. So instead, he shooed it away.

'Go home, boy, go on!' he ordered, pointing his ears
in the other direction. He was not expecting the dumb
animal to understand. Like all werefolk, he believed
that dogs were mere animals and did not have the
power of speech. The dog bared its teeth.

'I ain't no
boy!'
it replied crossly.

Freddy could hardly believe his ears. It sounded
like a woof and a girl's voice at the same time.

'You can
talk?'
he yelped loudly. 'I don't believe it.
Fantabulous!'

The other dog snarled in annoyance.

'If you can, why shouldn't I, smelly pink poodle?
Be cheeky again and I'll bite your tail off. And that's a
promise!' With a flick of her own long scraggy tail she
trotted away down the main street.

'No, wait!' Freddy yipped, scampering to keep
up with her. 'It wasn't me, I wasn't cheeky.' He didn't
want the dog to run away, it was so exciting being able
to talk to her.

'I just thought dogs like you were too stupid to
talk,' he gasped breathlessly. The mongrel stopped
abruptly and growled at him. Freddy looked at her
sharp teeth and realised his mistake.

'I mean, I thought I could only talk to wolves.'

Now the mongrel stared at him in disbelief. She
flicked her hair out of her eyes with a toss of her head.

'Wolves?' She narrowed her eyes and inspected
Freddy. 'Wolves can't talk. They're just wild animals,
ain't they? And anyway, what kind of dog would want
to talk to one of
them?
Even if you tried, a wolf would
finish off a smelly little puke like you in one bite.
Before you even opened your big trap.'

'Little puke?'
Freddy was outraged. 'Well, that's where
you're wrong, actually. Because
I am a
wolf! So there!
Not just some common
dog
who sniffs backsides.' He
stuck out his chest and paraded pompously in front
of her.

'I am 100 per cent wolf!'

The hairy mongrel howled with laughter. Freddy
caught his reflection in a shop window and sagged
miserably. How could anyone believe he was a wolf
underneath this curly pink disguise?

'You are a silly, pink, smelly little poodle and I don't
like poodles,' the dog told him slowly and clearly. 'You
are also a liar and I don't like liars
and
you don't have
no manners.' She flicked her tail. 'So clear off out of
my patch.'

'No
manners?'
Was a common mongrel really telling
a Lupin how to behave? Freddy puffed up in outrage.
He was descended from one of the oldest, noblest of
werepacks.

'At least I don't sniff backsides,' he yipped.

'That's what I said, ain't it? No manners. Didn't
your mother teach you nothing when you was a
puppy? You always do the Hello Sniffing dance when
you meet someone.'

'No way!' Freddy yipped, his ears drooping in
dismay. How revolting! This was certainly not part of
a werewolf's rituals. He had no intention of performing
that dance. The mongrel looked at him with
disgust and trotted away once again. Freddy tried to
keep up.

'Clear off, stink-pup!' she called back.

'No, wait. It's because I'm ...' Freddy looked
around desperately. Next to him was a travel agency
with a revolving globe in the window.

'I'm from Australia,' he shouted, always willing to
lie at a moment's notice. The mongrel stopped, her
curiosity getting the better of her.

'Where's Australia?' she wanted to know.

'On the other side of the world.'

The mongrel looked doubtful. To her 'the world'
meant Milford.

'Near the pooing field?' she asked. (She meant of
course the public park.)

'No, far away on the other side of the ocean, where
everybody is upside down.'

The mongrel started to rumble, thinking he was
being cheeky again. Freddy thought desperately.

'Look here.' He ran to the shop window and
pointed at the globe with his ear.

'See?' he barked. 'That ball is the world. We, I mean
you,
live on the top but I come from under there,
down
under.
Australia.'

The dog looked at the globe suspiciously.

'Is that why you talk funny?' she yipped at last.
'You don't sound like no proper dog.'

'Yes.' Freddy laughed with relief. 'That's right,
cobber. G'day mate, everybody loves good neighbours.
And that's why I don't do Hello Sniffing. In Australia
dogs shake paws like this.' He held out his paw. 'That
means good manners there.'

'So what are you doing here then?'

'I was dog-napped because I'm so valuable. But
thanks to my ingenious plan I managed to escape. I was
just running away from them now. They tried to disguise
me by dyeing me pink and putting perfume on me!'

'So that's why you smell so bad?' she nodded, trying
to work out if she believed him.

Freddy might have been insulted, but he smelt bad
even to himself.

The mongrel narrowed her eyes.

'If you're lying, I
will
bite your tail off,' she
promised.

'Cross my heart I'm telling the truth. I never lie,'
Freddy lied.

He held out his paw. After a moment the dog gave
a small woofy laugh and held out her own paw.

'What's your name then, stink-pup?' she asked.

'Freddy,' he yipped. 'What's yours?'

'Batty. Did you live on the Wildside in Australia?'

'What's the Wildside?' Freddy asked.

Batty raised her hairy eyebrow. This dog was a
stranger for sure – he didn't know anything!

'The Wildside is where I live. Running around
on your own, looking after yourself. I don't need no
human.' She flicked her head proudly.

Just then there was a sound of sirens approaching
the main street.

'Shush!' Batty whispered, her ears standing high
and searching for the noise. 'Police! Humans! We have
to hide, quick.' She began to run at full speed down
the road.

Freddy tried his best to keep up with her.

'But why are we running away? We haven't done
anything wrong.'

'Wise up, stink-pup, we're on the Wildside. That's
against the humans' law. They always try, but they
can't never catch me!'

Batty disappeared down a narrow alley. Freddy
followed, wondering what on earth his new friend
was in trouble for. And then he realised. They were
outlaws! Oh
yes,
he liked the sound of that. He was
already feeling more like a hero again.

'In there, quick.' Batty pointed at a garden shed with
her ear.

The two dogs streaked inside the open door and
waited as the sound of the police sirens grew louder
and louder. Freddy became a little less brave and a
little more alarmed as the noise became deafening. Of
course, it's easy to say you want to be an outlaw – until
the police actually start chasing you. He sighed with
relief when the sound faded and, at last, disappeared.

'They've gone!' laughed Batty, flopping onto the floor.

'But why are they chasing you?'

''Cos I steal sausages, from the red meat shop,'
Batty replied proudly. 'I'm the best sausage thief in
Milford.'

'Oh, that's brilliant!' Freddy cried, very impressed.
Then he remembered that he always liked to win. 'Of
course
I
was the best sausage thief in the whole of
Australia, you know. And that's twenty million times
the size of Milford.' He licked his paws modestly, as if
this was a minor achievement.

Batty looked at him, unconvinced.

'What, you?' she scoffed. 'Don't you care that it's
against the law?'

'Of course not,' Freddy shrugged. 'I'm not scared
of the police, am I?'

'You seemed to be just now, all right. I never knew
a poodle what wasn't scared of the police. I ain't never
heard of no poodle sausage thief, either.'

'Well then, I'm not an ordinary poodle, am I?' Freddy
yipped. The mention of sausages had made Freddy's
stomach bubble. He hadn't eaten since before the High
Howling the previous night. 'I love sausages. I can eat
twelve in one go. I'd do anything for sausages.'

'Oh yeah? So what's your plan for breaking into
the red meat shop then, stink-pup?' Batty laughed.

'I don't have one ... yet,' he admitted, feeling
stupid.

'Hungry?' Batty asked sympathetically. He nodded
miserably.

'Didn't your dog-napper feed you?'

Freddy shook his head even more miserably.

'Well, let's go and break some rules then,' she said.
'Or are you too much of a poodle?'

Freddy's ears perked up.

'No. I'm not scared of anything!' he yipped, but
then began to get a bit worried. 'But... we won't get
caught, will we? I mean, we will
escape?'

'Don't worry, Stinky, we ain't going to get caught.'
Despite his stories, this pup would never survive on
his own on the Wildside, Batty thought. 'You'd better
stick with me.'

The eyes and muzzles of the two dogs peeped out from
behind a tree opposite the butcher's shop. Freddy's
mouth watered at the sight of all those strings of
sausages hanging in the shop window, but the door
was closed.

'How do we get in?' he asked Batty. There was a
door handle that looked impossible to open with his
doggie paws.

'Easy,' she told him with a pitying smile. The sausage
thieves were obviously not very bright in Australia if
this poodle was the best of the bunch. 'It's getting out
again what requires the skill.' She lay down behind
the tree with her chin on her paws.

'What are we waiting for?'

'Shush,' she instructed.

Freddy huffed and thought he might sulk. He was,
after all, a wolf! He should not be bossed around by
a mongrel dog, even a brave and pretty one. Batty
didn't notice his sulking; she was too busy watching
all the humans walking down the main street. Her
ears jumped when she saw what she wanted.

'Get up, Stinky,' she whispered. 'Here's our way in.'
She pointed her nose at a mother walking with her
son and daughter and pushing a pram towards the
butcher's.

'Operation Sausages is go!' she woofed dramatically.
'I'll go into the shop and you wait outside and keep
guard. The mum will take ages trying to get her
puppy's carriage through the door. That gives me time
to run in and out – I'll be quicker than a tail's wag.
When I grab the sausages, run and we'll meet back at
the shed.'

Freddy nodded. Batty's tail was swishing with
excitement.

'First we have to be nice to the puppies. That's how
we get in.' The mongrel ran over the road to meet the
family. Freddy followed eagerly.

As soon as she reached the children, Batty started
scampering to and fro in front of them. She woofed
charmingly, flapped her ears up and down and tossed
her pretty hair from side to side. It had the desired
effect.

'Here boy,' cried the little girl, letting go of her
mother's coat. Batty ran to meet her and allowed the
girl to pat her on the head. Batty licked her face.

'Urg,' the girl giggled.

'Not too close!' her mother warned.

'Come on, Stinky', Batty woofed. 'Make them like
you. It's easy.'

The baby gurgled with delight at Batty's funny antics.
As Freddy trotted up to the children, he recognised the
boy from his class at school. Daryl Spanner. Freddy
didn't like him one bit. Daryl Spanner took one look
at his classmate and laughed out loud.

'What a stupid dog,' he squealed. 'She looks like pink
fairy floss. Prissy poodle, sissy poodle,' he taunted.

'She's so sweet,' cried the little girl. 'A little Barbie
doggie.'

It was all more than Freddy could bear.

'I'm not a
she,
I'm a
he.
In fact, I'm a
wolf!'
he
yapped. 'Who asked you anyway, Spanner? And tell
your snotty sister that I'm not sweet and I'm not Barbie.
I'm
fierce!'
He bared his teeth and woofed menacingly
at the children. The little girl screamed.

'Shush, you big baby, I'm trying to be your friend,'
Freddy barked urgently. The girl screamed even
louder.

'Keep away, you smelly hound,' the mother yelled
and whacked Freddy on the head with a rolled-up
umbrella.

'Youch.'

'Prissy poodle, sissy poodle,' Daryl Spanner called
as his mother dragged them away down the street. She
had forgotten all about her visit to the butcher's shop.
The family disappeared and the shop door remained
firmly shut.

'It didn't hurt me!' Freddy lied, woofing after the
mother. 'So there!' He thought for a second. 'With
knobs on.'

They won't say I'm sweet again, he thought, very
pleased with himself. He imagined Sir Rathbone
would have behaved in a similar way. He felt his
father would have been proud of him. For the first
time since his Transwolfation, Freddy felt he had lived
up to the reputation of a werewolf at last.

He turned to face Batty, who snarled at him in total
disgust.

'What?' Freddy woofed. It suddenly occurred to
him that Operation Sausages had not gone to plan.

'It wasn't me!' he said. Batty was not impressed. He
tried to look innocent. Batty was still not impressed.
He tried to look tough. Batty snorted.

'You silly pink stink-pup,' she growled. 'All you
had to do was make the puppies like you. They always
like me.'

'They said I was a girl and Spanner said I looked
like fairy floss,' he yipped in outrage.

'Who? And what's fairy floss?' Batty asked.

'It's fluffy and pink and it looks like ... me.' Freddy
sulked. That made Batty laugh – she was never able to
stay angry for long.

'But how do you know what they was saying?' she
asked, returning to her lookout spot behind the tree.

'Oh derrr! I am
English,
aren't I?' he scoffed,
following her.

'No. I thought you was Australian.' She looked at
him closely.

'Same thing, mate,' he replied nervously. The
trouble with telling lies is it's so difficult to remember
them all the time.

Batty was looking at him in a very strange way.
Then something occurred to Freddy.

'Don't you understand what humans say?'

'Of course not!' yelped Batty. 'No dog can.'

'Well, I can,' Freddy barked pompously, showing
off again. 'Perhaps because I am no mere poodle.
Perhaps because I really am a wolf.'

'Since when could wolves understand humans,
either? Even pink ones,' Batty laughed. However, she
looked at Freddy with new respect. He may be stupid,
pink, smelly, spoilt and convinced he was a wolf, but
being able to understand humans was a very great
skill.

'Woof-tastic!' she smiled, bashing Freddy with her
paw. He felt very proud to have impressed so clever
a dog.

'Don't you know
any
words?' he asked her.

Batty had to think hard. It was so long since she
had a human to look after her and talk to her that
she couldn't really remember.

'I know my name, "Batty",' she said at last. 'And
"walkies" and "dinner". And one other horrible
word ...
"Coldfax",'
she whispered with a shudder.
'It's a word every dog knows and fears.'

'Coldfax? What's that?' Freddy asked.

'It's a terrible place, over the dark hill. It's where they
take dogs from the Wildside when they get caught.
No free dog knows what it's like inside Coldfax, 'cos
no dog ever comes back out. There's no escape. At
night, you can hear the dogs howling, but you don't
never see them.' Batty shook herself and they were
quiet for a while.

'I'm sorry I ruined everything. I always do, although
I never mean to,' Freddy said mournfully, looking
over at the butcher's shop. Batty looked at the pongy
poodle with pity.

'Oh well, pick your ears up, Stinky,' she urged,
pushing him with her paw. 'Operation Sausages isn't over
yet. Look.' There was a man walking towards the shop.

'You stay here, Freddy. Plan B is too dangerous
for you.'

Freddy didn't like to appear cowardly, but he had
already made a mess of things once. Batty would
probably be safer without him. He watched her go
with a nervous wag of his tail.

'Be careful,' he yipped. 'I'll come if you need me!'

Freddy watched as his brave friend walked close
behind the man. He heard a little bell tinkle as the
man entered the shop, completely unaware that Batty
was following him. Freddy's heart was beating fast as
the man turned to close the door.

That's when Freddy saw his face. He had thin white
cheeks and huge staring eyes behind thick round
spectacles. It was a face that every werepup had been
taught to fear. Freddy gasped in terror. There stood
Dr Foxwell Cripp, werewolf hunter and the man who
had shot his father with a silver bullet.

And Batty was trapped inside the shop with him!