1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader (13 page)

68

FACT :
In 2008, a fifty-year-old woman from Saudi Arabia demanded a divorce in 2008 after her husband
lifted her veil
to view her face while she was asleep. She had concealed her face from him for thirty years.
Because she looks like Jamie Farr.

“Divorce for Looking at Wife’s Face,” The Daily Telegraph, May 21, 2008,
www.news.com.au
.

69

FACT :
In January 2008, domestic violence expert Dean Tong was
arrested for assaulting his wife
. This was Tong’s third arrest, and his second involving domestic violence.
How do you think he became an expert?

Susan Wilson, “Update: Abuse Expert Arrested on Abuse Charge Releases Statement,” Tampa Bay’s 10 News,
www.wtsp.com
.

Melanie Brooks, “Author Under Arrest Talks Exclusively with 10 News,”
10Connects.com
,
www.wtsp.com
.

70

FACT :
A retired teacher in California admits that he taught high school for seventeen years
without knowing how to read or write
.
Neither could his students, so it all worked out.

Charisse Yu, “Retired Teacher Reveals He Was Illiterate Until Age 48,” 10 News San Diego, February 14, 2008,
www.10news.com
.

71

FACT :
A man nearly died at an airport security checkpoint in Nuremberg in 2007
after drinking a full liter of vodka
rather than surrendering it before taking his flight. The man became severely impaired and had to be taken to a hospital and treated for alcohol poisoning.
Unfortunately, he was one of the pilots, so the flight was delayed until someone else could be called in to take his place.

Associated Press, “Man Chugs Down Liter of Vodka in Airport Line,” USA Today, December 12, 2007,
www.usatoday.com
.

72

FACT :
In 2004, a Syracuse, New York woman required emergency surgery and hospitalization after the
bit of a dentist’s drill flew off and lodged near her eye
. At the time of the accident, her dentist was dancing to the song “Car Wash” on the radio. The patient later sued the dentist for more than half a million dollars.
The story has a happy ending. The patient is fine and the dentist got his wish: he’s working at the car wash.

Associated Press, “Disco-Dancing Dentist Sued for Drilling Disaster,”
MSNBC.com
, November 2, 2007,
www.msnbc.msn.com
.

FACT :
A California dentist, Dr. Mark Anderson, was accused in 2007 of
fondling the breasts
of twenty-seven patients. Although he claimed that these “chest massages” were an effective treatment for TMJ, Anderson was later convicted of eleven counts of felony sexual battery.
Now he’s working at the car wash with the other ex-dentist, presumably as a wax applicator. Wax on, wax off.

73

Associated Press, “Dentist Accused of Fondling Female Patients Argues Massages Appropriate,” ABC Local News,
http://abclocal.go.com
.

Hudson Sangree, “Woodland Dentist Mark Anderson Found Guilty in Fondling Case,” Sacramento Bee,
www.sacbee.com
.

74

FACT :
A New York man faced arrest in Times Square in 2004
for doing nothing
. A police officer charged Matthew Jones with “disorderly conduct” because “numerous pedestrians in the area had to walk around him.” Jones maintains he was simply “standing around” talking to friends.
If standing around doing nothing is a crime, I know a lot of people who should be in jail.

75

FACT :
A woman in Pennsylvania was cited for disorderly conduct in 2008 for
swearing at an overflowing toilet
. The off-duty police officer who lived next door took offense at the language.
If he thought the language was offensive, he should’ve seen what was clogging the toilet.

Associated Press, “Scranton Woman Who Swore at Toilet Settles Lawsuit,”
Pennlive.com
, October 22, 2008,
www.pennlive.com
.