12 Christmas Romances To Melt Your Heart (10 page)

T
he snow flurries
turned into stronger gusts. A sudden blast of bitter wind rushed through Selma, and she shivered. Shaun pulled her closer and rubbed her arms. Their breath came out in puffs of fog. Gusts of snow blasted around them, shaking the trees below.

“Wow, the weather has changed,” she said.

“Looks like a storm is coming in,” he said. He stroked a piece of hair out of her eyes with his gloved hand. She looked up at him, and their eyes locked.

Tingles flooded her at his expression. The look in his pale green eyes was so intense and filled with so much love that she had to look away. He was so incredibly handsome. Her heart always skipped a beat whenever he looked at her. She couldn’t believe he was hers sometimes, even though she knew she was a hot number herself. But a man this good-looking, with his tanned face, green eyes, athletic body, and confident way of carrying himself: well, he was the kind of man that every woman wanted.

One of the things that Selma loved best about him was that despite his extraordinary good looks, Shaun only seemed to have eyes for her.

Whenever they were out together, women would stare at him with blatant expressions that said if he even so much as glanced in their direction, they would drop their panties right there.

But Shaun never looked in their direction. He was either oblivious to the female attention, or he truly only had eyes for Selma.

“What are you thinking?” Shaun asked, breaking into her thoughts.

She smiled. “The usual.”

“What’s that?”

“How much I love you.”

“Always?”

There it was again, his standard question.

She looked up and met his eyes. There was a moment of silence, a moment of anticipation between them before she spoke.

“Always.” It was the first time she’d ever said that to him. It was her first acknowledgment that she did want him forever.

And she did.

She was ready.

Ready to let him know, ready for the next step in their relationship.

And what better time to do it on Christmas Eve? On their three-month anniversary? Here on a ski lift high above the beautiful snowy mountains? The moment truly did feel right.

He looked at her for a long moment, unblinking. Then he leaned in and kissed her again gently.

“I want you always too,” he murmured against her lips. “I love you.” Then he pulled back to look at her. “Will you promise to always love me no matter what happens or what challenges might cross our path?”

Something about his tone gave her pause. There was a heaviness in the conversation that hadn’t been there a moment before.

“Of course,” she said. “Why do you ask that?”

He was quiet for a moment, and then cleared his throat. “There’s something I haven’t told you. Something you need to know.”

Selma’s heart slid into a slow descent. Those were words no women ever wanted to hear.

The perfect moment didn’t feel so perfect anymore.

All of those doubts she’d pushed away suddenly came rushing back.

She braced herself. She had just given herself to him completely, and now he was going to pull the rug out from under. She felt it with every cell in her body.

“What is it?” she asked, trying to keep the tremble out of her voice.

“You’ve probably noticed I’ve been distracted lately.”

She took a deep breath. “Yes. But I figured it was probably work or something.” She paused and bit her lip. “You seem to check your phone a lot, and hide it from me. What’s that about?”

“It has to do with what I need to tell you.” Shaun reached out and took her hand. “I want you to know that the matter what, it doesn’t change the way I feel about you.”

“You’re scaring me.”

“I wanted to tell you so many times during these months together. But I could never bring myself to. I was afraid I was going to lose you if you knew. But I can’t let another day pass without telling you the truth.”

She swallowed hard, her mouth dry. “What is it?”
My God, what could it be?
Please don’t let it be a terminal illness or something.

She clasped her gloved hands together tightly, trying to control their trembling. She was sitting on her ski poles to keep them anchored and hands free, but now suddenly wished she had something to hold on to.

Another blast of bitter wind rushed through her, sending snow flurries into her face. She shivered again, her teeth chattering.

Shaun’s arm tightened around her shoulder. “Selma, I love you. Please know that.”

The ski lift was approaching the disembark station. A feeling of desperation welled up in her. She needed to know what he had to say before they exited, before they got off the lift. She didn’t know why, except that it felt urgent.

“Tell me,” she said.

His jaw clenched. He stared at her with a strange expression. The sky was gray behind him. Streaks of black clouds filled the sky, matching the dark look in his eyes.

Her heart dropped further. “What is it? Is it that bad?”

Their chair was fast approaching the end.

He pressed his lips together and looked away. “Selma, please forgive me.”

“What. Is. It?” Her voice came out in a hoarse whisper. “Please.”

He looked back and held her gaze with a look that made her heart stop.

“I’m married.”

B
efore Selma could reply
to the bomb Shaun had just dropped in her lap, their chair came to the end of the destination. They disembarked, skiing off the lift together in one fast whoosh.

Selma’s legs were unsteady, and she almost fell. He reached out to steady her, but she pulled away. At that moment, she’d never felt more disconnected to him.

They skied over to an area off to the side, beneath a tall pine tree. Skiers passed them on all sides, racing off down the mountain. Up above, chairlifts passed slowly overhead, carrying brightly clad people to their destinations farther up the mountain.

Selma looked at Shaun, swallowing hard against stinging tears that she refused to let flow. She couldn’t let him see her cry. Not here. Not now. Besides the shock and horror, the tears belied how angry she felt, a rage that was starting to boil up in her like a witch’s brew.

“I’m sorry,” he said, raising his gloved hands helplessly at her.

She stared at him, her teeth clenched to keep them from chattering. “You’re married? Please tell me I heard that wrong.”

“No…you didn’t hear it wrong.”

She bit her lip and looked away, unseeing. She swallowed hard against the hard knot in her throat. “How could you not tell me this before?” The minute she said the words, her stomach gave a violent heave. Nausea hit her throat like a sucker punch to her esophagus. “Oh my god. You’re
married
.”

Before he could reply, she turned and retched into the snow.

Shaun rushed to her side and rubbed her back. She pushed his hand away and whirled to face him.

“How could you?” She was crying openly now, hot tears running down her cheeks and instantly turning ice cold from the biting wind.

“I didn’t know how to tell you,” he said. His face twisted in concern. But to her at that moment, he looked like a monster wearing a mask. A lying, deceiving monster.

“Selma, please,” he said at her expression. “It’s not how it seems.”

“Oh, really? You mean it’s something different than you lied to me, led me on, made me believe you loved me, all the while being married? Unavailable? Please tell me you’re joking.”

“I do love you. Please don’t doubt that.”

She gave a bitter laugh. “I doubt everything.”

“Please hear me out. Let me explain.”

“No.” She shook her head slowly side to side. “I don’t want to hear more lies. I don’t want to hear any more. I’ve heard enough.” She stopped. “Wait, do you have kids?”

He stared at her with a long, stricken look that gave her the answer.

A low moan came from her throat. “You bastard,” she whispered. Her voice was tight with an anguish she couldn’t hide. “How could you?”

It was storming now, with long, hard blasts of snow swirling around and over them. The sky was dark with the impending storm, and the trees stood like white-capped, stern monoliths around them.

Violent shakes consumed Selma’s body. They had nothing to do with the cold.

“I’m sorry,” he said, reaching out to her. “Please. If you just heard what I had to--”

She batted his hand away. “
No!
There’s nothing to say. You’re married and you lied to me! I spent all these months falling more in love with you every day. And all along, you weren’t mine! And never would be.” She bit her trembling lip and closed her eyes for a moment, feeling dizzy.
This can’t be happening, this can’t be happening.

When she opened her eyes, he was staring at her with an expression she’d never seen before. It looked like a cross between raw anguish and something else. Something she couldn’t place. Then she realized what it was. It was the expression in a hunted animal’s eyes, right before they’re shot. She’d seen that look too many times as a kid growing up in a family of deer hunters. And she’d never been able to forget it.

But why did he feel hunted, the bastard? She was the victim here, the prey. Not him!

“I’ve got to go,” she said. “I’ve got to get out of here.” She slid forward on her skis, but stumbled and nearly fell.

He reached out to steady her, but she hit his hand away. “Get away from me. I don’t ever want to see you again.”

“Selma, please. Don’t do this.”

“Oh, I’m doing it.” She skied forward, then stopped. She turned back and met his eyes. Her heart felt like dead, cold steel…a heavy weight in her chest. Dead weight, adding to the resolute feeling simmered in her. “Let me hear it one more time, just so it sinks in fully and so I never doubt breaking up with you. You’re married, right?”

He nodded.

“And you have a child?”

“Children.”

“More than one?”

“Yes.”

“How could you?”

He didn’t answer.

“
How could you?
” she repeated, screaming now.

He still didn’t answer.

“You were never mine.”

He didn’t answer.

Her stomach twisted into a sickening thud. “It’s over.” She turned and skied off down the hill, tears streaming down her face.

“Selma! Wait!” she heard him call behind her.

She ignored him.

She raced down the hill at breakneck speed. Her legs felt like rubber, jiggling beneath her as she skied. Wind and sleet hit her square in the face, stinging like hundreds of needles. She didn’t care, and in fact, the pain felt good, as if the outer physical pain could help alleviate the emotional pain.

But it didn’t.

She skied faster, bouncing over moguls and sliding around bends. She was out of control, sobbing uncontrollably as she flew down the mountain, her eyes blurry with tears.

She hoped she could make it down the mountain without falling. She was a good skier, but nothing could have prepared her for what had just happened.

She’d never seen that coming. Yes, Shaun had seemed to have some secret he was hiding, if she were to be fully honest with herself. She’d chosen to look the other way, wanting to give him the space to reveal himself when he was ready. She’d put aside her doubts and fears and chose to trust in him despite a few niggles.

But she had never been prepared for this.

Not this.

A cheating, lying bastard pretending to love her. Pretending she was his one and only when all along he had a wife and children.

Oh my God.

Fresh sobs erupted from her throat.

Lies. All of it. Shaun had never been hers at all.

Sobs burbled from her chest as she skied down the mountain. She didn’t care that other skiers glanced at her as she passed, or that she probably looked like a crazy woman with tears streaming down her face.

She half expected Shaun to catch up to her, but she was skiing recklessly right now, not caring how fast she went. He wouldn’t be able to catch her. Olympians had nothing on her right now. Trees rushed by in a blur. She remembered the skier with the head injury, but pushed the thought away. If she crashed into a tree right now, she almost wouldn’t care. The pain was so acute.

“Selma!” she heard again.

Then…a scream.

More than one. Multiple screams.

People on the mountain were screaming.

Fear gripped her heart like a vise.

She skidded to a stop, sending a long burst of snow flying in front of her. She planted her ski poles and turned back, looking up the hill.

Then she saw Shaun.

He was skiing down the mountain in his red jacket. But he wasn’t on the main run. He’d gone off trail and was weaving through the trees on a side run, his knees bent as he bounced over snow-covered bumps and rocks. Soft billows of snow rose up behind him.

She didn’t know why people were screaming. So what if he skied out of bounds? It wasn’t illegal.

Even if he’d skied past posted signs, it didn’t warrant all this commotion.

And then she saw it.

Behind Shaun, through the trees.

A pile of snow rushing down the mountain like a white monster.

A giant wall of powder, rushing up behind Shaun.

A great, silent, white tidal wave that sent bursts of powder in all direction as it hit trees and burst through the open space like a nightmare.

More screams surrounded her as people raced by on all sides, trying to outrun the danger.

An avalanche.

Shaun had triggered an avalanche!

A
s Shaun skied toward Selma
, everything seemed to turn into slow motion. It was as if she was immersed in a bad dream, the kind of alternate reality that one awakens from in a cold sweat. Except this was real.

Horrifyingly, truly, undeniably real.

Shaun was racing toward her with a gigantic tidal wave of snow bearing down on him.

She tried to scream but couldn’t.

“Ski!” he shouted at her as he dodged around trees. “Go!”

He was trying to save her. Even as he was trying to outrun it himself.

She turned and began skiing down the hill as fast as she could. But then something made her stop. She skidded to a stop, her heart thudding in her chest.

She turned and looked back up the mountain, only to see the wall of snow overtake Shaun.

And then it buried him, sending his form into white obscurity.

She screamed long and hoarse. Someone grabbed her and threw her to the side.

The avalanche of snow rushed by, passing her in a silent whoosh.

Selma watched as the avalanche came to a stop right beneath the base of the mountain.

“Fuck, that was close,” said the man who’d pulled her out of the way, a man dressed in ski patrol clothes who was pulling himself up off the ground beside her. “If people just realized they can sidestep these smaller ones--”

“My boyfriend,” she gasped. She pointed with a shaking finger. “He was buried.”

“No shit?” The guy jumped up.

“Yes. Save him! Please!” She began screaming, unable to stop herself. She clambered onto her feet, determined to get up the mountain to Shaun. She was determined to dig him out herself if she had to. But her legs, weighed down by the skis, weren’t working properly.

The ski patrol guy was on his walkie-talkie, radioing someone. She heard snippets: “Buried. Casualty. On east side of mountain beneath chair lift five.”

Casualty? Does that mean he’s dead?

A burst of panic gripped her tightly. She let out a loud sob. “I need to get him.” She tried to scramble through the snow, dragging her skis behind her. Everything felt so slow, so bogged down. She must be in shock. Then she looked down and realized one of her skis had come unclipped from its binding.

Up the hill at the spot where Shaun had been, people were there now, all frantically digging to unbury him.

A piece of information flitted across her brain, a bit of trivia she hadn’t known she’d filed away: most avalanche victims only survive fifteen minutes under the snow before they perish.

There was still time to get him out.

Determination filled her like a balloon.

She reached down and unclipped her other ski from its binding. Then she began clambering up the icy hill toward Shaun.

As she struggled up the hill, Selma slipped and fell multiple times. But still she kept going. With every step that she took, she sobbed his name over and over again.

He couldn’t be dead.

He had to be alive.

She had to see him again, hold him again, kiss him, have him hold her…

It can’t end this way.

“Shaun,” she cried.

I love you. Shaun, I love you.

She loved him. It was true.

That was all that mattered.

She suddenly didn’t care about anything but the love. All she knew was that she wanted him alive. She couldn’t live without him.

Shaun.

I need you.

She couldn’t imagine a world without him in it.

She couldn’t imagine never seeing him again…not having his green eyes look at her in a way that gave her chills.

Not having him make love to her and stroke her hair and ask her if she would love him always.

Always.

I’ll love you always.

Please don’t leave me.

How can we have always if you’re gone?

Sobbing, she pushed herself up that hill. Long trickles of sweat ran down her back.

Ski patrol raced up. A guy with a beard told her to go back down the hill, since the area was still dangerous.

She ignored him.

She reached where Shaun was and dug her hands into the cold, wet snow and began digging. The other responders next to her were eerily quiet as they scooped handfuls of snow as fast as they could. The only sound was their breathing.

Selma dug frantically, digging her fingers into the mound of snow with an electric desperation that fueled her. She was sobbing and digging and calling his name with the kind of urgency that came from loving another human being so desperately that one would do anything to turn back time…to undo what was already done.

But it couldn’t be done. This couldn’t be the way the story ended.

Another ski patrol officer approached and told Selma to leave. She turned on him with such shouts and sobs and screams that his expression said it was best to let this crazy person be, even if she was effing killed by another avalanche herself.

She dug and dug, pulling wads of snow back and out with all her might. She was like a dog digging for a bone that meant its very survival. Her actions were frenzied, filled with a desperation that drove her on with what felt like superhuman strength.

Then she caught sight of it: Shaun’s red jacket. A cheer went up from the crowd, but it sounded far in the distance to Selma’s ears.

She kept digging, faster.

Fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes.

How much time had passed? Would he still be alive? Dead? Brain-damaged? Himself ever again?

She dug more furiously, sobs quaking out of her body.

Someone touched her arm but she ignored them, still digging.

The other responders were digging as well, but to her it seemed they were all going in slow motion.

Too slowly.

“Hurry!” she screamed. “He’s in there!”
And I love him.

I love him, I love him, I love him.

Then she realized she wasn’t just thinking it, but chanting it out loud through sobs.

I love him, I love him, I love him.

His arm came into view. Then his brown hair. Then his face.

His handsome tanned face…now pale white.

She dug more frantically.

Men reached in and together they all pulled him out.

He was limp.

Unmoving.

Shaun. Usually so filled with life. His strong male physique suddenly looked so small, so vulnerable. So unlike him.

Her heart stopped. She crawled to him over the wet snow, her breathing hoarse.

“Shaun!” She bent over his face. “Come back to me!” That handsome smiling face…now without expression. Without life.

“Is he dead?” she whispered.

No one answered, or maybe they didn’t hear her.

Someone began doing CPR on him.

One…two…three

Still he didn’t move.

She turned away, unable to watch any longer.

Tears ran down her face. She covered her eyes with her cold, gloved hands.

Shaun.

He was gone. She knew it in her heart.

Then she heard a cough.

A long, raspy cough…followed by a cheer from the crowd.

She whipped around. Shaun was sitting up, looking dazed. He turned and met her eyes.

“Selma.”

She scrambled over. “Shaun, Shaun, you’re alive!” She fell onto the ground in front of him, grabbing his legs and unable to control her loud sobs.

“Holy shit, what happened?” he said, causing the men to burst out laughing.

“You survived an avalanche, man,” someone said.

Shaun looked around with a dazed expression. “No shit?”

Selma couldn’t contain her sobbing. “You’re alive, you’re alive.”

“Of course I’m alive, baby.” Shaun met her gaze. Then he reached out to her. “There’s no way I could ever leave you.”

S
haun was taken
to the local hospital to be evaluated. Luckily, he was fine except for some minor frostbite. He wasn’t even in shock, which Selma found surprising, considering she was treated for it.

They were both discharged from the hospital a few hours later.

Back at the hotel, they lay together on the bed and ordered room service.

Selma kept fighting back tears as she was hit with periodic memories of seeing him buried, and then seeing his lifeless form once he was dug out.

“I thought you were dead,” she said, blinking back tears. “It was the worst feeling ever.”

“I’m here, baby.” He pulled her close and stroked away her tears away with his thumbs.

“I’m sorry I skied off like that, forcing you to go through the backwoods to catch up to me. I feel like if I hadn’t done that, you wouldn’t have triggered that avalanche. You could’ve been killed.”

“I don’t blame you, Selma. I pulled the rug out from under you. I understand why you skied off.”

“I should have stayed to listen to what you had to say.”

“I understand. I would have done the same. But yes, I hope you can hear me out.”

She turned her eyes up to him. “I want you to know something. I know you’re married, but at that moment, when I thought you were gone, the only thing that I could think about was my love for you. It superseded everything.”

Tears filled his eyes. “That means everything to me.”

“Talk to me, Shaun. I need to know the whole story.”

“Okay.” He took a deep breath. “Here goes.” He reached out and took her hand. “I’ve been married for seven years. I have twin boys. They’re five years old. My wife…we’re currently separated…had severe postpartum depression. It was more like psychosis, actually. She started doing bizarre things that were out of character for her: leaving for days at a time, going on spending sprees, acting erratically. She wasn’t herself for a long time. We tried to get her help. I even had her committed at one point. And then she started cheating on me.”

Selma sucked in a breath. “She cheated on you?”

“Yes.” His jaw clenched. “She was diagnosed with borderline personality made worse by her postpartum depression. I stood by her while she got treatment, but still she kept having affairs. She would sneak off after getting the twins to bed and not come home until early morning. I heard from friends that they would see her around town, at the local bars, getting drunk and leaving with guys. She was even caught giving some guy a blowjob in a back alley outside of a dive bar. That was the last straw. That’s when I knew I couldn’t do it anymore, even though she was the mother of our children. I couldn’t jeopardize their well-being by leaving them in her care, either. Up until then, I’d thought if she got enough help, she would be cured. But that’s not the way it was.”

He looked away. “I stayed as long I did because I wanted it to work. I don’t take marriage vows lightly. And I did it for the boys.”

“So you’re separated?”

“Yes. We’re in the process of getting a divorce. She won’t sign the papers, though. Our attorneys are still in negotiation.”

“Over what?”

“Everything. I told my attorney that she could have all of our material possessions: the condo, truck, you name it. But I wanted the boys.”

“And she wouldn’t give you that?”

“No. Not even fifty percent. She filed for sole custody.”

“Oh, wow. That’s terrible.”

“It is. My attorney says it won’t happen because of her mental issues, but still, it’s been dragging out. I’m hopeful it’ll be resolved within the next few weeks and we can finally sign divorce papers.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“A year.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. “It is what it is. But it’s been hard.”

“I can only imagine.” A rush of tenderness and sympathy flooded her chest. “But why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

He met her eyes. “I told you. I didn’t want to scare you off.”

“You wouldn’t have.”

“How do I know that? What if I’d told you from day one that I was married with kids? You’re saying that wouldn’t have freaked you out, even just a little?”

“I don’t know.” She contemplated this. “I don’t think it would have made a difference.”

“I wish I’d known that.”

“I wish you hadn’t lied to me.”

“Selma, I never lied to you. I just didn’t tell you the whole picture.”

“Lying by omission is still lying.”

“In the beginning, I knew that what we had was special, but I never thought it would lead to this…to what I feel for you now.”

“And what’s that?”

He propped himself up on his elbow. “Love. True love. Intense passion.” He reached out and stroked her bottom lip. “God, you look beautiful right now.”

Warmth flooded her belly at his words and expression.

He pulled her close so their faces were inches apart. His green eyes gazed into her very soul, making her tremble with love and desire.

He stroked her hair, and then brought her face in for a lingering kiss.

She stroked her hands up under his t-shirt until she found his strong back. His skin was so warm, so nice to touch. She slid her fingers down the planes of his back, savoring the feel of his body…his aliveness. He was here with her, all of him.

His hands slid down her shoulders until they reached her breasts. She gasped at the feel of his fingers lightly stroking her hard nipples over the fabric of her turtleneck sweater.

He reached under and slowly slid his hands up her belly to her breasts. He cupped them and then began stroking the taut nipples.

She pressed her body against his and wrapped her legs around his from the side. She could feel his erection pressing against her thigh. She reached down and slid her hand along its firm length.

“I’m so hard for you, baby,” he whispered in her ear. “I want you so much.”

She inhaled and pressed her body more firmly against his…wanting--needing--to feel his masculine strength.

He pulled her on top of him so she was straddling his torso. His eyes were glazed with heat as he gazed up at her.

“My God, look at you.”

She tossed her hair, feeling beautiful under his gaze. She reached down and grasped her turtleneck by the bottom edges, and then slowly pulled it up and off.

She wasn’t wearing a bra, and he inhaled at the sight of her bare breasts with erect nipples. He slid his hands slowly over her breasts as if savoring every swell and curve.