2 Minutes to Midnight (6 page)

"I'm not sure what this lady is
saying. Can you help?" John pleaded.

"Its voice guided. She's telling you
to say records for records. Say periodicals for periodicals, etc"
Kate said.

"Final news reel." John
said.

The tiny librarian displayed a
recorded news program. The anchor, aside from his white tunic and
Beetles-style bowl haircut looked like any reporter back on earth.
Behind him on the screen was an image of another planet much
smaller than Mars.

"He's saying that the small planet
Trijon is on trajectory to collide with Mars in a matter of days.
Mars’ oceans will tsunami, and mass geologic movement will take
place. Martian citizens are urged to evacuate Mars, or go to the
city of Rasga where the doors will seal out any catastrophic
activity. The Martian planetary council will launch a series of
nuclear missiles at Trijon." Kate explained.

Another news clip began to play, and
this time there was a camera panning the sky as fiery debris rained
down on Mars surface. Earthquakes rocked the ground as miles of red
dirt rose like a massive sand storm high into the sky, blotting out
the sun. The camera went black.

"Did they blow themselves up, or did a
planet hit them? I'll bet there's a lot more footage where this
came from. But, first let's get back to the ship and tell Capcom
what we've found so far." James said.

Unknown to the crew, Curiosity had
been following them through the city and as they exited the library
it fired a red beam at each of their eyes. The little rover
recorded their findings and was reporting them back to a small
office in New York City where seven wealthy, frowning business men
in Armani suits sat very quiet, viewing the incoming feed around a
large circular oak table. Each man had a distinctive reptilian
appearance.

"They found the Martian libraries.
It's only a matter of time before we discover the blue prints for
interdimensional travel again." One man said.

"Correct. We can get off this dying,
spinning ball of dirt and back to our own dimension. Now, let's
check on moon operations. The miners should now have enough Helium
three to cover fuel for a thousand trips back to Mars."

"Are you sure the rover wiped their
memories?" One said.

"The only way they'll remember any of
their trip is in muddled dreams."

The secrets of what lay on Mars would
continue remain a mystery to all but seven reptilian overlords
masquerading as humans.

the day satan quit

When Hell is full, and
Satan becomes frustrated enough to walk off the job will he return
before the Angels realize and begin the final battle between good
and evil?

Lucifer sat on his throne
of bones, and human skulls seething as he read through the latest
morning incoming souls report. His tail
thwipped
back and forth as he held
the report in his right hand. Tiny flames jumped and danced with
brilliant dark light from Lucifer's fingertips as he drummed
nervously on the marble desk. The office of Satan had been held by
a number of demons who had risen to the challenge of dethroning
Hell's ruler. A million years before Noah built an Arc, Lucifer
dethroned the previous ruler Abaddon in a war so violent that
planets quaked throughout the universe.
"Azriel! Get in here!" Lucifer screamed.
The demon Azriel slowly rose from his desk, sighed, and walked into
Lucifer's office.
"Have you seen the Incoming Soul Report for this week?"
"I'm assuming that's rhetorical since I set the ISR on your desk
twenty minutes ago, and you have it in your hands now." Azriel
said.
"
Don’t be a smart ass. This is getting ridiculous, we have
nowhere to store the new soul’s In-processing. All nine levels of
Hell are full of inmates, and I just don’t understand some of these
charges. Petty theft -- non-repentant, another petty theft
non-repentant. Here's another one, Writer blasphemes in novel?
You’d think our adversary would let some of this
slide.
"
Lucifer
said.
"
He
lost his sense of humor after the deluge, sir.
"
Azriel said.
Azriel held the contemptuous, arrogant tone of a bored servant.
Lucifer shook his head in disgust.
"
I’ve had it Azriel, we're
overcrowded, understaffed, and they get to party in Heaven while we
shovel crap. I need to get some of the squatters who don't belong
in Hell out of here, or so help me...
"
Lucifer said.
"
Are you talking about
the release of souls, sir? We’ve never done that in the entire
history of Hell. Even your predecessor Abaddon was against it. That
could start the final battle.
"
Azriel said.
"
I don’t see any other way; there’s
no more room at the prison. Plus I don’t have the power to nullify
souls, and neither does He. Once they’re created, they simply ARE
until; I don’t know… eternity ends?
"
"
You're the ruler of Hell and we’ll
stand behind any decision you make.
"
Azriel replied.
Lucifer slammed a fist down on his desk in
frustration.
"
You know what? I quit.
"
Lucifer said.
"
Sir, you can’t quit. You took power
by force, and were appointed by Him. Not even
you
have the ability to go back on
that agreement.
"
Azriel said.
"
Watch me.
"
Lucifer said.
"
We would have to shut
down every office. I’m begging you not to do this. Do you have any
idea how horrible the backup is going to be if you walk off the job
right now?
"
Azriel said.
Sneering Lucifer pushed past Azriel and with his tail he swept the
demon off his feet before walking off in silence.
"
That was just
rude!
"
Azriel
yelled.
Meanwhile, Cedric the Demon Slayer was freeing a town of three
hundred frightened people from an attacking Hellion in
Schnitzelovia, Romania. Cedric was neither human, demon, nor angel,
but a hybrid creature created by angelic and demonic entities and
designed to maintain a balance of power on earth. He had been
adopted at birth by human parents and raised with other children so
that he appeared to be human. It was not until his twenty-first
birthday that his true purpose on earth was revealed to him by a
wise man who went only by the name Loni. The trespassing demon had
attacked in the night three days prior, killing fifteen farmers
before villagers could reach Cedric. To Cedric, the demon was a
jail breaker, and had to be dealt with. The Demon Slayer, as he was
called, had a hard wooden acoustic guitar case where he kept his
weapons. When asked why he used a guitar case his only reply
was.
“Guitar cases look cool, and they hold all my stuff.”
Cedric stood six feet tall, wore a black leather jacket with a huge
Grim Reaper patch on the back, and kept a close Van Dyke beard. The
Reaper had two ruby red glowing eyes, and carried a long wicked
Sickle. Cedric wore an eye patch so, that if he had to go from
daylight into darkness he could switch the patch to his other eye
and see the escaping demon without having to adjust to low light.
Currently, Cedric was running through the nighttime streets of
Schnitzelovia, and gaining on the demon Dravex with every
step.
"
Dravex, you’re not getting away! Turn and face
judgment!
"
Cedric
screamed.
"
Screw you, lame’o. I’m not leaving until I’ve slashed all
these meat puppets into piles of chum.
"
Dravex laughed.
Dravex dodged into the alley between a small hardware supply store
and a candy shop, laughing as he fled. The demon was a gangly sort,
with long spindly arms, and ubiquitous sharp claws issued when
demons are spawned. His head was bald, save for a few wisps of
stringy hair blowing in the breeze. Dravex’s jaw sloped downward to
form an evil, wicked looking steam shovel under bite lined with
sharp teeth. Cedric could always tell when a demon was around
because the air changed from fresh, and breathable, to sulfur. When
he caught up to Dravix Cedric would employ the use of Daisy. Daisy
was the living soul of his sword, and she had the power to slay
supernatural beings.
"
Dravex! I can smell
you!
"
Cedric
yelled.
The demon supported his body between two buildings with his arms
and feet dug into the wood siding as it began to smolder from his
body heat. He was waiting for just the right time to pounce on
Cedric and tear his head off.
"
Now, where could he
be?
"
Cedric
asked.
Dravex dropped, claws flashing, grinning, sure of his aim, prepared
to kill the hunter, but instead the demon slayer’s blade impaled
him with one upward thrust.
"
Ack!
"
Dravex grunted.
The demon exploded into ash which spilled into Cedric's mouth,
covered his face, and went down the front of his shirt.
"Blech, argh, damned demon!"
He thought he heard the sound of Dravex's maniacal laughter echo
and fade away through the night. The job was over, and just as fast
as he had come to the little village, Cedric collected his pay from
the man who hired him, and sped away in his black Pontiac Firebird.
Cedric’s cell phone rung a short while later, and for a moment he
was unable to translate what the hyperventilating female voice on
the other end was telling him .
"
Calm down, who is this? Is that
you, Celina?
"
Cedric asked .
There was a pause on the phone and he heard the person
sobbing.
"Yes, Cedric, and I've got terrible news. Angeline accidentally
shot herself in the face. I mean, I think she was committing
suicide when I walked in, but pulled the gun from her mouth, and it
just...went off. The bullet went into her temple, and she's gone,
sweetie. Oh my God!" She cried.
"Thank you for the call, Celina. Take care." He hung up.
Angeline was Cedric's on again, off again girlfriend, and Celina
was her mother. Cedric lowered his head at Angeline's passing, she
might be marked a suicide, and the rules of life meant a one-way
ticket to Hell. Cedric shed a single tear, and gripped the steering
wheel with animal strength as his sadness turned to anger.
"What was she doing with a gun in her mouth?"
His phone rang again, and this time it was an unknown number. He
picked up.
"Yeah?" Cedric said.
"Hello Cedric, you know who this is." A man's voice said.
"Azriel. I just sent one of your toadies back a few hours ago. What
do you want?"
"Hey, if one or two demons escape our security system there's not
much I can do about it, demon slayer. Everyone's got problems. You
do your job, and we'll do ours." Azriel said.
"Again, what do you want?" Cedric said.
"Satan walked off the job this morning, and if you want to save
your girlfriend from everlasting torment, you'll have to help me
find him." Azriel said.
"Her mom said the gun went off on its own, which is not a suicide."
Cedric said.
"The paperwork says otherwise, and I just signed it. For all
intents and purposes she looks like a suicide to the boys guarding
those pearly gates. Although, I've been there and the gates are not
all that white. Anyway, since the boss walked out, all of the
offices are closed, and she'll sit in limbo until he gets back and
pardons her." Azriel said.
"I may run you through when I see you again." Cedric said.
"Your sword can't touch me. You've got the power to send lower
level demons back, but you can't do anything to an arch devil."
Azriel retorted.
"I'm hanging up now, Azriel, so go find someone else to do your
dirty work."
"Wait! Don't hang up. You can travel between both worlds and I
can't. We have to get Satan back or there's going to be a backup
down here, which would mean a fissure into the human world. If that
happens the angels will see it, and this whole thing won't be our
little secret anymore. Then they'll begin the final battle. The
angels haven’t found out that he walked out yet, but it's only a
matter of time. Help me, and I'll reverse time to just before
Angeline's gun went off." Azriel said.
"Where do you think Lucifer is now?"
"I believe he went to Dead Mountain in the Ural Mountain range.
There are demons loyal to Lucifer hiding in a series of caves up
there. It's a kind of vacation spot for him." Azriel said.
"Isn't that the where those hikers were slaughtered in 1959?"
Cedric asked.
"That's the place, and it was those degenerate renegades that did
it, but that shouldn't be a problem for you Demon Slayer. Look,
you've got about three days before anyone realizes
up there
what's going on
down here, so move it." Azriel said.
Azriel ended the call.
"I'm going to need to find a way to kill that guy." Cedric said to
himself.
Cedric knew that when Heaven found out Satan was AWOL a false
judgment day would occur, putting angelic sentries on full alert
for an offensive. The second a fissure broke the earth's crust
allowing demonic souls to escape, there would be human possessions
on a massive scale, and global war would break out in the realm of
humanity.
Ten hours later Cedric was in Vizhai, the last inhabited settlement
before the trek toward Dead Mountain, where the hikers had met
their end. The demons had their stronghold deep within a cave
system. Cedric spoke with the village chief before he ventured
forward.
"Do you know what lives in those mountains?" The chief asked.
"Demons." Cedric answered.
"Yes, the Phantom Lord lives up there." The chief said.
"What does the Phantom Lord look like?"
"He has the body of a man, the head of a goat, and wings like an
eagle. He flies around and produces fire from his hands." The chief
said.
"Baphomet? Baphomet is your Phantom Lord? That would explain why
there were no footprints other than the campers’ found at the
Dyatlov Pass incident." Cedric replied.
He shook his head, thanked the chief for his hospitality and walked
off, smirking to himself.
It was summer in the Ural Mountains, and the only time of year Dead
Mountain would not be buried under a blanket of impassable snow.
The further Cedric walked the more sulfuric the air became. He had
Daisy strapped over his back, and checked the guitar case for holy
water infused bolts. He counted nineteen. Cedric's crossbow, Vlad,
was a reliable weapon when quarters were too close for Daisy. Dead
quiet surrounded Cedric as he walked, but it was not long before he
heard the gentle flapping of wings nearby, and looked up.
"Baphomet. Always a pleasure." Cedric said. He gave the demon a wry
smile.
"What are you doing here, Cedric, and why should I spare your
life...this time?" Baphomet asked.
"Last time it was you at the end of my blade,
Phantom Lord
. You seriously have
these people calling you by that ridiculous name?" Cedric
said.
"It keeps them out of our business, and I don't have to kill
trespassers. Life here used to be so much easier before the humans
became overpopulated for the
second
time. We had more room."
"I'm sure you did, but I'm not here to fight you or make nice,
either. I need to speak with Lucifer, and I suspect you're hiding
him up here." Cedric said.
"Hiding? Ha, there's no such thing. He does what he wants. I just
stay out of his way. You should leave." Baphomet said.
"I must speak with him. There's trouble in Hell, you know it, and
it's in both our interests that I speak with Lucifer."
"You'll die!" Baphomet screamed.
A bolt of pure radiation shot forth as Cedric dived out of the way
to escape the blow. He rolled on the ground, unsheathing Daisy as
Baphomet buzzed him, scratching his face with the sharpened claws
of his right hand. The Phantom Lord shot another bolt of white hot
fire toward Cedric, and the Demon Slayer parried with Daisy,
sending the bolt right. It struck Baphomet in his left wing,
sending the demon spiraling out of control and into a tall pine.
Cedric raced to his guitar case and retrieved Vlad.
He nocked a bolt and turned to face Baphomet, but the demon was
gone. With Daisy in one hand, and Vlad in the other, Cedric crept
forward eyes on treetops. Deafening silence surrounded Cedric as he
walked. With sudden ferocity, Baphomet swooped out of the trees
like a rifle shot pointed straight for Cedric, but the demon slayer
was prepared for him and ducked. As Baphomet flew by Cedric thrust
upward and cut the demons left wing off. Baphomet screamed in agony
while Cedric rolled over and fired a bolt sure and true into the
Phantom Lord's right but cheek. Baphomet writhed for another moment
and vanished in a puff of smoke.
"Back to Hell, lackey!" Cedric screamed.
Cedric ran forward, no time to spare, locating the cave entrance
not far from his skirmish with Baphomet. He sheathed Daisy, nocked
a bolt in Vlad, and mounted his tactical flashlight to the front.
The odor of sulfur wafted out of the entrance like slow death,
irritating his nostrils. Cedric walked in and was confronted by a
two-headed dog seething molten acid from his mouth.
"Hi big fella'? You want something to chew on?" Cedric asked.
The dog attacked, Cedric squeezed the trigger, the bolt went wide,
and in an instant the animal was on top of him. Before the
hellhound could drip acid on his face Cedric rolled back into a
ball and kicked it off with both feet. When the hound slammed
against a rock outcropping, stunning him for a moment, Cedric slid
another bolt into Vlad and fired again. This time the shot hit the
hound in his shoulder, the dog howled, burst into flames, and blew
away on a wind of ashes. Cedric rose to his feet and dashed through
a maze of tunnels where sulfur was strongest as demons began to
sense his presence and give chase. Just as Cedric was about to turn
and fight he stumbled into a large open cavern alight with many
torches. Sitting on the far side of this cavern, intent on a
crossword puzzle was Lucifer.
"Lucifer! We need to talk, please." Cedric yelled.
Lucifer looked up, adjusted his reading glasses and looked
surprised to see Cedric in his winter retreat.
"Cedric the Demon Slayer! What a surprise. How Can I help you?"
Lucifer smiled.
"Call off your dogs, for starters."
"Boys, leave Cedric alone. If he had wanted to harm you, you all
would have been back in Hell by now." Lucifer said.
Lucifer's demons faded into darkness as Cedric walked toward the
ruler of Hell.
"I'm here on behalf of all mankind, and the demons of Hell to ask
you to return to work."
"Ha ha. You came all the way out here for that? I'm done. Go away.
Before you do though, what's a six letter word for live
undead?"
"Zombie. Look, my girlfriend Angeline was setup by Azriel to make
her death look like a suicide. He did it to blackmail me into
coming here, and he promised to return her alive if I help him get
you back. Also, and more important, the Angels have no idea you
ditched your post, but when they find out the final battle may
begin." Cedric said.
"Oh, I don't know." Lucifer sighed. "We're full, and I get no help
from Him, just more souls to damn. I'm burned out. I either release
some souls, which is definitely against the rules, or we create
more space, and I have none." Lucifer said.
"Open a portal to the chaos dimension. Take the worst of the worst,
and send them there. There's no escape from the chaos dimension,
and you can empty out half of Hell in the process." Cedric
said.
"Do you know how much paperwork that's going to be? The bureaucracy
in Hell is overwhelming, and ordering the transport of hundreds of
billions of souls will take forever," Lucifer said.
"I can't believe I'm the only one thinking about this. Burn the
records, man. Who is