2 Queenie Baby - Out of Office (7 page)

He smiled. "Sure. That's something we haven't done together yet."

"Unfortunately, it does involve being clothed."

"We'll see," he replied, leading me towards the beach.

*  *  *

Mark's phone blared Patsy Kline's 'Crazy,' jolting me awake. I sat up and peered out at the ocean with one bleary eye. Sand was caked to the back of my legs, and I could feel it shifting around in my undies. Yuck.

I glanced over at Mark. He was already deep in conversation. "By nine?" he asked. "It'll take me two hours to get there if I leave now."

I caught his eye, and he gave me a quick smile. I'd been hoping for another shower and some morning naked time with him. Didn't look like that was on the agenda.

Our walk on the beach last night had quickly turned into a make-out session in the sand. However, I apparently fell asleep early on, and Mark had snuggled up beside me to catch a few hours of sleep.

It was a little before seven according to my phone. I had a text from Andre asking if I wanted to ride up to Aguadilla at eleven.

Mark hung up abruptly. "That was Charles," he said with a grimace. "He wants to meet at the Aguadilla airport this morning to make the exchange. I'll call Marcie so she can give a heads up to David. I also need to get the San Juan police to notify the authorities in Aguadilla, and I have to pick up the money Ed wired through San Juan National Bank on my way." He ran a hand though his hair distractedly. "I need to leave now. I'm sorry."

I rubbed my eye and promptly got sand in it. Trying to sleep on the beach was a lot like trying to have sex in a hot tub. Always sounds good at the time, but it never turns out well.

"No problem. I'll get a shower and hitch a ride with Carlos. They're leaving at eleven. Unless, of course, you'd like some help with Charles." 

"Not a chance. I don't want you involved," Mark said adamantly.

"Geez, you didn't even think about."

"Nothing to think about," he replied, kissing me on the forehead. "I think I'll check out here and book us a place in Rincon. Maybe buy us a little well-deserved alone time." He helped me to my feet.

We spent the next couple of minutes dusting sand off of each other and giggling like teenagers. Without warning, he pulled me to him and gave me a kiss with The Works.

As I was gasping for breath, he said, "Promise me no plans tonight. Just you and me and a big bed."

I nodded.

"And no hickeys! I mean to check all your nooks and crannies," he teased.

"I'm looking forward to that." Boy was I ever!

A few more kisses and gropes, and Mark was gone.

The fire had been contained to several rooms near the kitchens, a clerk told me on my way back to the room. Everything appeared to be business as usual in the hotel, which allowed me to enjoy the sumptuous suite; I had planned a leisurely morning of showering, dressing, and packing. I ordered room service before hitting the shower. My phone rang as I was pulling my hair into a pony tail in front of the double marble vanity.

It was Carol, my boss at Greene's Staffing Services.

"Hi!" I said brightly.

"Hi yourself," she snipped.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Your vampire is driving me nuts!" she replied. "He ran two temps off yesterday and has called me every hour on the hour with complaints."

I shrugged. That sounded like The Count. I had been working for the cape-wearing Mr. Vann Pyres for a couple of weeks. In that time, I had managed to type up about two hundred pages of spindly hand-written notes for his book on medieval husbandry
and
was helping him find love online. Not bad if I did say so myself.

"He's bugging me to check his dating accounts," she continued. "He says he and Betty have an
open
relationship. He's ready to 'explore all his options.'" I pictured her face scrunched up in disgust.

"Well, he was your vampire first," I reminded her.

She snorted. "Well, he's yours now."

"So are you still thinking about taking Ed up on his offer?" I asked, changing the subject. Ed wanted to retire and sell the staffing agency to Carol. I thought she'd be a perfect fit, but she seemed overwhelmed by the prospect of being a business owner.

"I'm still thinking about it. I have enough trouble managing the agency. I can't imagine how many more headaches I'd have as the owner. Besides, I'm not exactly rolling in money."

"Ed knows all that. I'm sure he'll work out a deal for you."

"I'm not sure I want a big loan hanging over my head. I'm going to meet with the accountant this week and take a hard look at the numbers. I'll keep you posted," she said with a sigh. "So how's it going down there?"

"I'm by myself in a beautiful suite. I've already destroyed an expensive guitar, almost been arrested, almost been kidnapped, and performed a duet with a pirate," I said, ticking off the last twenty-four hours. "Oh, yeah, there was a fire last night at the hotel, and we ended up sleeping on the beach."

"That sounds romantic at least." You could always count on Carol to put a good spin on things.

"Yeah, you'd think." I sighed. "But all I got was sand in my underwear."

Carol laughed. "Yuck! Any luck tracking down David?"

I brought her up to date on all the new developments and promised to check The Count's online accounts and send her an email update. I spent the next hour nibbling at my breakfast, catching up on email, and trolling for Mr. Pyres' online dates.

As I glanced at the profile for yet another cleavage heaving, twenty-something looking for a sugar daddy, I thought about how nice it was
not
to be on the dating scene. Now if only Mark and I could finally get to the good parts…

*  *  *

The limo arrived promptly at eleven. I was waiting on the curb with my bags and guitar case, dressed comfortably for the long ride in cargo shorts, flip flops, and a light cotton T-shirt.

Andre stepped out and opened the door for me. For once he wasn't wearing his expensive suit and white shirt. He was wearing shorts and a polo.

He gave me a big smile. "Carlos hasn't stopped talking about you since last night. It's going to be an interesting day."

Carlos greeted me with, "Ahoy, matey!"

As my eyes adjusted to the darkened interior, I noticed he was bare-chested and wearing a pair of swimming trunks. Those six-pack abs were impressive.

"I'm suddenly feeling over-dressed." I looked back at Andre.

"No worries, m'lady. We're going to take a wee detour on our way to Aguadilla."

"Detour?"

"Carlos wants to take us to the secret waterfall in San Sebastian." Andre looked resigned.

This was news. "What secret waterfall?"

Carlos leaned in like he was about to tell us the location of his pirate hideout.

"Only the locals know how to get to the secret waterfall," he said mysteriously. "I haven't been there for years. When I was a child, I made a pirate's map so I would always know my way back."

He pulled a dirty scrap of lined notebook paper from his pocket and handed it to me. I opened it up. A map drawn and illustrated in childish writing detailed the path down to the secret waterfall of San Sebastian. A big black X marked the spot.

Surprisingly, I felt my long-forgotten girlhood fascination with Nancy Drew reignite. A hidden waterfall and a treasure map? Now you're talking. And, hey, it wasn't any weirder than my ex-CIA boyfriend out chasing bad guys.

"That sounds like fun, but don't we have to get to the airport?" Wondering, not for the first time, how Mark was making out with his negotiations.

Carlos swept his hand dismissively. "We have plenty of time. We must see the waterfall."

I nodded. What the hell, might as well do something vacation-like on this vacation. "How many years has it been since you've seen the waterfall?"

"Five," Carlos replied.

"Not to be gloom and doom here, Carlos, but a lot could've changed. It might not be the pirate's paradise that you remember," I warned. I had a life-size picture in my mind of funnel cake stands and corn dog vendors lining the way down to the waterfall.

Carlos smiled. "This is Puerto Rico," he said rolling his "r." "Things move more slowly here."

A car passed us on the shoulder and careened into oncoming traffic for a few seconds before zipping off down the road. I could hear our limo driver cursing in Spanish.

"Except for the traffic, of course," Carlos amended.

*  *  * 

Forty-five minutes later, Carlos directed the driver off a main road and onto what looked like a residential street.

"There should be a chain across a dirt road to the left in about a mile," he said.

A mile later there was the chain; hanging from it was a sign that read KEEP OUT.

When I pointed this out to Carlos, he waved it off. "For the tourists. The locals pay no attention."

I looked over at Andre. "Told you it was going to be an interesting day," he said, opening the door and offering me a hand out.

"This is the place!" exclaimed Carlos, leaping out of the limo. "But I wonder where all the other cars are? Usually this street is lined with local cars."

I grabbed my beach bag from the trunk and ducked back into the limo to put my bathing suit on under my shorts and tee shirt. When I emerged, Andre was waiting with an oversized backpack.

"Towels and lunch," he explained.

Well, at least we weren't going to go hungry, I thought. Maybe he had some beer tucked away in there too.

We set off down an overgrown path. It didn't look like anybody had been this way in awhile. I swatted at giant bugs and dodged palm leaves as we trekked through the knee high grass. Suddenly, the trees opened up into a large grassy field.

Carlos looked around uncertain as to which way to go.

"Try the map," I suggested.

Carlos gave me a big smile and pulled it out.

He studied it for a few seconds, looking left and right. He snapped his fingers and pointed. "Straight ahead."

Andre and I followed. Carlos looked back at us. "I didn't say anything before so as not to cause a mutiny," he grinned. "But when I was a kid this field had the meanest, biggest bull you'd ever seen."

Andre raised an eyebrow. "Like that one?" he asked pointing off to our left.

I gasped. A giant bull was munching on grass and watching us out of the corner of his eye.

Carlos looked over. "Aye, mate. But I expect that one's bigger."

"Let's just keep moving." Andre gave me a little prod in my lower back. "Slowly," he added.

We took about five steps, and a cow and a calf appeared to our right. The bull's head came up suddenly. He snorted a warning. We froze in mid-step.

"What should we do?" I whispered.

"Just stay still and be quiet," Andre whispered back.

The piercing screech of my ring tone broke the silence with a wail. The bull started to trot towards us.

"Shut that thing up," Andre whispered furiously.

I pulled the phone out of my pocket. I fumbled with the buttons trying to silence it.

"Hello! That you, Queenie Baby?" Granddaddy Hacker called through the speaker of my phone.

"I've got to call you back, Granddaddy," I whispered, trying to turn off the speaker.

"Can't hear you, girl!" he shouted. "Dagnabit! My gol' darn hearing aid must be out again. I want you to bring me back some wacky weed and a bottle of rum, but don't tell The Parents."

The bull's ears perked up at the sound of Granddaddy's voice, and he stopped his trot over to us.

"Have him say something else," Andre suggested.

"Granddaddy, I'm in a field, and there's a giant bull staring us down," I whispered into my cell phone.

Now at this point anyone else would have asked about twenty questions. But not Granddaddy.

"A bull?" he asked. "What the hell are you doin' foolin' around with a bull? Them things are dangerous!"

"Yes, I know. We're in the middle of a field, and we're trying to get to the other side," I explained.

"Well, why didn't ya say so in the first place?" he asked. "Now whatever you do don't run."

I watched the bull inch closer to us. "Okay," I replied, "so what
should
we do?"

"Sing him a song."

"What? Really?" I wasn't sure I'd heard him right.

"Works like a charm," he assured me.

I looked at Carlos. He shrugged and broke into "The Rum Song." Even in an emergency situation it plucked my last nerve to hear him sing my song.

The bull stopped in his tracks and shook his head a couple of times.

Andre grabbed my arm, and we started walking again. Carlos finished the first verse just as we were halfway to the tree line in front of us.

"No wait!" Granddaddy hollered. "I think that works on goats. Best not try that."

I looked back to see the bull at full charge and heading right for us.

The tree line seemed miles away.

"Run!" Andre yelled.

I looked back to see Carlos grab the back pack away from Andre and pull out a large purple beach towel.

"Get back here, you idiot!" yelled Andre, as Carlos raced towards the bull with the fluttering towel.

The bull stopped in his tracks and lowered his head.

Carlos assumed a matador pose. He waved the towel provocatively at the bull.

I ran back to Andre. "You've got to stop him," I cried, as the bull pawed at the ground.

Andre cut his eyes at me. "I don't know how I get into these situations." He reached under his shirt and pulled his gun from its holster.

"Don't shoot it!"

"I wasn't going to shoot the bull," Andre remarked dryly.

We watched as the bull took his first pass at Carlos. Carlos avoided the bull with a dramatic spin and waved the towel with a flourish.

"Get over here, now!" Andre ordered Carlos.

The bull was pawing at the ground again, ready to take a second pass when a bell clanged in the distance. The cow and calf, who had been watching the scene with interest, suddenly turned and began a slow trot towards the clanging sound. The bull stopped mid-stride. His head turned in the direction of the sound. Without so much as a glance at Carlos, he trotted after the cow and calf.

"You live to fight another day, my friend," Carlos called to the bull.

I watched from the tree line as Andre stalked back over to Carlos and yanked the towel out of his hand. "Do that shit again, and I quit!"

"Now, mate," Carlos began, "there's no need to keelhaul me. Just a little fun among friends."

I thought I saw Andre's lip twitch. I wasn't sure if it was with humor or irritation.

"Understand this,
mate
," Andre said, pointing a finger at Carlos, "I'll have ye measured for yer chains and wearin' the hempen halter if this happens again."

I was impressed. Andre's pirate brogue was almost as good as Carlos'.

A wide smile split Carlos' face. "Now yer talkin', mate! Onward," he called.

"I didn't know you spoke pirate," I teased as we followed Carlos.

"Lots of things about me you don't know," he said with a smile.