2 Unhitched (35 page)
Authors: E.L. Sarnoff
Calla loves her baby brother and sister. Now, she’s begging for another pet. A baby dragon she saw at The Queen’s animal rescue sanctuary. I don’t think so. She’s still wearing Hansel’s bracelet.
Secret ended up being a good name for our dog. He had a big one—who would have thought that the little pup would grow overnight to the size of a small pony. He never leaves my side and watches over the babies.
The babies are doing great. You wouldn’t believe how big they’ve gotten. We have regularly scheduled playdates with Princess Swan, but Cinderella never makes them because she’s always late. By the way, I never did The Queen’s princess pea test for Bellie. I decided that I didn’t want to raise a princess. I just wanted to raise a little girl.
Talking about princesses, The Potato Sack Princess traded in her potato sack for a new uniform. And a new career. She’s an around-the-clock security guard at the new Midas Museum of Art and happily gets to look at paintings 24-7. Her raven Amigo is perfectly content living there too.
The Badass Fairies wrote a book,
The Good Fairies’ Yoga Guide for
Pregnant
Women
. Elz swears by it.
And Shrink decided to extend her vacation into an indefinite sabbatical. I’m handling it. Well, most of the time. For a baby present, she sent over that worn-out velvet chaise lounge in her office—yes, the one I’ve spilled my life on. Once a fixture in the Midas palace, it’s where The Queen nursed Gallant. Shrink thought I might like to have it. As usual, she was right.
As for me, what a life I’m living, huh? It’s frightening and beautiful and magical and absolutely inexplicable. I’ve learned that life has no outline. You’ve got to let the chapters unfold. And not skip ahead or jump to the conclusion. Sometimes, we will miss something that will change the whole ending and make your story make total sense. I did.
Not long after Bellie and Beau were born, I was straightening Gallant’s portrait of Calla and me that hangs in our dining room. Something from behind it fell to the floor. A folded up sheet of parchment. The love letter I wrote Gallant on the eve of his marriage to my mother. The one that was sealed with my tears and signed
“Forever~Jane.”
He found it and read it! And saved it forever. If only I had found it in the first place! How different this story would have been!
The lesson learned… we need to battle the real dragons—the illusions we cling to, the false loves we perpetuate, the fantasies we dress up in pretty clothes, and the lies we tell ourselves. Only then will dreams come true.
Every night I look up at the sky and gaze at my father’s star. I miss him terribly. Baby Beau is looking more and more like him every day. I also think about my mother a lot. It didn’t take me long to figure out that Ellena, Gothel’s birth mother, is Anelle spelled backwards.
A Nelle.
Like my mother’s name. More than a coincidence, right? Gothel gave me the hope that my mother was born good person. We may even be sisters by blood. I still need a lot more proof. Unfortunately, between my family and my career and everything else in my crazy life, I haven’t had the time to investigate my mother’s past. That’s just going to have to be another story.
Most importantly, I’ve learned that there’s no such thing as a fairy-tale marriage. That’s the stuff only books are made of. Actually, when I think about it, I’ve never read a fairy tale about a marriage. It’s always a story about some unmarried princess who overcomes the impossible to get her prince. That “they lived happily ever after” ending is just a bunch of bull, if you ask me. Personally. I don’t think the writers of fairy tales have any interest in reality—in the ups and downs of real-life marriage. Maybe they’re just clueless. Or afraid of them. Or not talented enough to write about them.
Gallant and I celebrated our second anniversary. A miracle given all we’ve been through. When my beloved asked me what I wanted, I told him nothing. That I had everything in the world I needed. He surprised me with a bauble anyway. One of Rump’s bracelets with the names of our three children woven into the gold threads. It was the perfect present. I, in turn, gave him what I always intended to give him—my forever love letter, beautifully framed. We both shed tears and then made passionate love. To think I once imagined us
unhitched
is unthinkable.
We’re working much harder at our relationship. Gallant is still seeing Dr. Grimm (the therapist) on a regular basis. It’s paying off. My beloved is learning to balance his life and is spending so much more quality time with the children and me. Right now, he’s working on a family portrait, so we get to be part of his life, and he gets to be part of ours. It’s going to hang in our bedroom above our bed. Not in the museum.
Despite no Shrink, I’m doing well too. I’m loving motherhood more than I could have ever imagined. The twins are a handful, but I cherish every minute I spend with them. You should see how fast I can change a diaper.
Finally, after a long bout of writer’s block, I’m writing a new children’s book. I’m done with fairy tales, and to tell the truth, they’re so overrated. Move over, Mother Goose. My new book,
Plain Jane’s Big Book of Fun and
Games,
is a collection of nursery rhymes. Gallant is doing the illustrations; they’re exquisite. It starts off with a picture of a woman rocking her two babies and this verse:
Magic wands and wishing wells,
Birthing stones and magic spells;
Try them all, let yourself go wild,
But only love can make a child.
I’m not sure what will come next.
~THE END~
Acknowledgements
I forever beholden to my family—my husband, Danny and my twin daughters, Lilly and Isabella—for putting up with me; they’re beginning to accept the fact that I am permanently glued to my computer. I also want to thank my friend Dana for reading an early draft and giving me insightful comments and Kathie of Kat’s Eye Editing whose amazing eyes found all the typos I didn’t catch. A big place in my heart belongs to Glendon Haddix of Streetlight Graphics, who once again did the fabulous cover and interior formatting. I also want to give a special thanks to Greg and Rachelle of
Ereader News Today
for choosing
DEWITCHED: The Untold Story of the Evil Queen
to be “Book of the Day” and mentioning
UNHITCHED
. Finally, a big shout out to my readers. Without you, I would not be a writer. Thank you. Thank you.
Love~ els
About The Author
Ellen Levy-Sarnoff, writing under the name E. L. Sarnoff, has enjoyed a prolific career in the entertainment industry, creating, writing, and producing television series, including the original
Power Rangers
. She lives in Los Angeles with her Prince Charming-ish husband, twin teenage princesses, and a bevy of pets. She’s also a not-too-evil stepmother. When she’s not writing in her PJ’s, she likes to dress up and pretend she’s Hollywood royalty.
She is also the author of
DEWITCHED: The Untold Story of the Evil Queen
, available both as an e-book and paperback at all major book retailers.
Ellen would love to hear from you. Connect to her at:
Praise For Dewitched: The Untold Story Of The Evil Queen
“The pages just flew by… funny… touching… emotional… action-packed.”
—Storm Goddess Book Review
“… a biting satire that puts a fresh, new spin on an age-old villainess… hip, mature, and
different.”
—John Ling, Amazon Reviewer and Author
“… one of the best books I’ve read all year.”
—Samantha March, Chick Lit Plus Book Reviews
“Delicious and dishy.”
—Shelley Miles, Amazon Reviewer
“… real, magical, and beautiful. This novel comes with one huge side effect—sleepless nights. You wouldn’t want to put it down.”
—Liz Grace Davis, Author
“Nora Ephron meets the Brothers Grimm in this whimsical twist of a classic fairy tale.”
—Barnes & Noble’s Reviewer
Coming In 2013
Bewitched
Jane learns she should be careful for what she wishes when she finds herself magically transported to another Lalaland—present day Los Angeles. When she falls in love with Hollywood royalty, a dashing billionaire movie producer, she must confront her moral compass as she wonders—will she ever see her once-upon-a-time prince again?