2007 - The Dead Pool (17 page)

As she reached the bottom of the stairs, the rat-a-tat of the door knocker had her clinging to the banister, white-knuckled, heart racing. Who was this? The rat-a-tat rang out again, this time more insistent. Tentatively, Morag moved forward and put an eye to the spyhole. With a sigh of surprise and relief, she released the array of locks and bolts.

Bonnie stood on the doorstep, her head turned slightly to one side in a gesture of uncertainty. She pulled off her sunglasses. Her pale eyes looked worried.

‘I’m sorry for just turning up like this, Morag, but I couldn’t sleep last night. I need to talk to you.’

She looked more wan than ever and her body in the light cotton shift was now stick-like, as if she had no muscles, nothing to support that delicate frame. Had she stopped eating completely? Morag stood to one side and beckoned her in.

‘I was just going back to bed, but it’s better for me not to. Come in. Take a seat in the front room.’

Odd. Her voice sounded unnaturally loud in her head. Like another’s voice. The heavy curtains made it impossible to see. Better switch on a light. As she reached out towards the table lamp, she stopped midway. Whose arm was that?

‘Morag? You okay?’

Morag felt the shudder run down her body.
It’s jour arm. This is jour house
. With trembling fingers she clicked on the lamp.
Staygrounded, keep calm
. She turned towards Bonnie.

‘Do you need anything? Tea? Something cold?’

Bonnie shook her head as she lowered herself into an easy chair that seemed to swallow her entire frail body. Sitting back obviously felt wrong and she inched forward, both hands in her lap, her back rigidly straight. It was very nearly her meditation posture, but not quite. She seemed far from composed.

Morag took the seat opposite, thankful for the protection of the gloom. She pulled her dressing gown round her.
Try to be normal. Speak to her
.

‘What is it, Bonnie? What brings you here?’

Bonnie momentarily pressed three fingers to her dry lips, as if she was unsure how to begin.

‘I should be at work right now, but I’ve cancelled everything. I’ve been thinking about this all day and I wanted,
needed
to see you. I had a visit from Ally last Friday, and I’m worried. Very worried. About you. He knows about you losing the house, having to move. I’m sorry, that’s my fault. I saw Eraser recently and told him. I wasn’t gossiping. I was defending you.’

She paused, and her fingers strayed back to her mouth. A moment later, Bonnie’s hand dropped to her lap and she began to fiddle with the thin fabric of her dress where it covered her bony knees.
So frail, pale, thin. She could almost be a ghost. A ghost in my living nightmare
.

‘Oh really?’

Morag’s voice was sounding loud yet remote—disembodied—again.
Be strong, keep control
.

‘You need to know this, Morag. He’s leaving. Says he’s liquidating the business. I’m wondering if he’s planning some…a…a
spectacular
before either he goes, or you move on. Doing some harm, real harm to you. Ally’s…changed. He’s out of control, I think. Consumed by grief and anger. An incendiary combination. He’s beginning to scare me. I just wanted you to know.’

Morag let the silence lie, wondering if she could be bothered to explain her encounter with Ally at the Cauldron. What did it matter now? She was pleasantly surprised that Bonnie should care enough to come round. That’s if she really was here.
Keep talking
. She shifted in her chair.

‘You said you were defending me to Ally. Why?’

Bonnie looked up, her twitching fingers suddenly frozen in her lap.

‘What d’you mean, why?’

Morag felt herself shrug. ‘Oh, I just thought you’d washed your hands of me. Didn’t want anything to do with me.’ She paused to glance round the darkened room. It was a comfort to be so shut off from the outside world. The dreamlike state had taken hold. She barely noticed Bonnie’s presence but continued in a low voice, almost talking to herself. ‘I mean, actually, it doesn’t matter now, you know. I’m past caring about it. Past caring about much. Life’s dealt its blows and will aim a few more at me, I’m sure.’ She stood up abruptly. ‘Thanks for coming, Bonnie. Will you see yourself out? I have to go back to bed now.’ She felt herself trying to get up, but her legs failed her and she slumped back down.

But Bonnie wasn’t stirring, had made no move to help her. Instead, she was handing her a tissue. Why? She touched her cheek. Tears. Odd. There was no accompanying feeling. No choking sensation in her throat. No prickling of her eyes.

Bonnie had moved nearer, perching on the side of the chair. ‘Is there someone I can call? What about your doctor?’

‘Doctor? Don’t be silly. I’m fine.’ She felt herself scrabbling at her cheek, trying to dry the unwelcome tears. ‘I’m fine, I’m fine. But, as I said, I need to go to bed now, though. So will you
please
make sure you pull the door to? I can’t have it left open.’

She felt Bonnie’s light touch on her shoulder. ‘Okay, but I’ll just make you a nice up of herbal tea. You’ll have something in the cupboards, won’t you? I won’t be a minute.’

‘I’m fine I don’t want any t—’

But Bonnie had disappeared through the door. How dare she come here and take over, acting all concerned and proprietorial after treating her like a pariah for so long? The hypocrisy!
I don’t want any bloody tea. I don’t want you here. Ijust want to go to bed! Or am I in bed? Dreaming? Or am I dead?
She began rubbing furiously at her face, almost tearing at her cheeks.
I will not cry. No! What ishappening to me? What?
She shut her eyes tight and stared into the blackness, studying the distorted shapes behind her eyelids.
Count yourselfdown. Hah!You’re good at that. One hundred, ninety-nine, ninety-eight…

She was barely aware of heaving herself up from the sofa and marching down the hallway to the kitchen. The trembling started as she saw the unwanted mug of tea thrust towards her. It was as if another’s hand reached out to swipe the mug away, scalding liquid spattering the far wall. Somewhere in the background, she could hear Bonnie’s yelp of fear and surprise as the mug shattered on the tiled floor.

‘
I told you. I don’t want any tea!
I don’t want help.
I want to go to sleeeep!
’

Kirstin stood halfway down the stairs, cradling the cordless phone in her hand as Bonnie stood looking up at her anxiously. Well?’

‘She’s sleeping now. The tablets Dr Lockhart recommended should knock her out for a good few hours.’ Kirstin opened her fist. ‘But just for safety, I’ve taken these away.

They’re the rest of the pills out of her bedroom. I’ll keep them for now. Dr Lockhart’s just about to leave for a fortnight in America, but her colleague will see Morag first thing tomorrow. I’ve agreed to spend the night here and be around when Morag wakes up. I’ll drive her over for her appointment in the morning.’

Bonnie nodded. ‘Good. Thanks. It’s been an odd way to meet, but I’m glad I found you. You know, I don’t think Morag was going to let me help. I had the devil’s job calming her down. She seemed to want to smash the place up, given half a chance. I suppose it was some sort of panic reaction caused by what she’s been going through. And then she just went…well, cold, stiff, catatonic really. I started looking around for her address book but I couldn’t find it, so I grabbed the phone. It was quite pathetic, sad. She had only two entries programmed into the numbers list. Dr Lockhart. And you.’

‘Yes, I gave her my number the first time we met.’

Bonnie nodded. ‘Thank goodness you did. Anyway, I called both and got you first. It was alarming, to put it mildly. I’ve never seen her like that.’

Kirstin made her way down the stairs. ‘It’s probably the tension and frustration. Everything getting to her. She’s been a volcano waiting to blow. But don’t worry. I’m just glad you were here. Okay. I’ve left her a note in case she wakes up before I get back. You said you needed to look in at your clinic. Want a lift? We can talk some more on the way.’

Bonnie nodded her agreement and Kirstin ushered her out of the door, hesitating for a moment before she locked up.

‘What is it?’ Bonnie was looking puzzled.

Kirstin shrugged and then allowed the lock to turn. ‘Oh, nothing. It’s all right.’

As she followed Bonnie to the car, she felt things were anything but all right. And, with her anxiety levels rising, she asked herself what else could go wrong?

K
irstin sighed with exasperation. The rush-hour traffic was hopeless. They were stuck in a seemingly endless queue of hot, steaming cars. Beside her, Bonnie was sipping at a bottle of mineral water, talking quietly, unworried by the heat or traffic.

‘So, it’s true. Morag actually shoved him into the Cauldron? He told me she was violent, but I didn’t want to believe him. He must have been threatening. He’s a big guy and the way he’s behaving at the moment, I’d probably have done the same thing.’

Kirstin nodded. ‘Yes…though, I watched him after he got back home and…he cried, he actually broke down and cried. It just seems strange. Like two people. I hear he’s big, threatening, all that, and yet, there he was crying like his world was at an end.’

‘Well, I think it is.’ Bonnie raised her water bottle again and glanced back at Kirstin. ‘He’s a classic case of the bereaved male. Can’t talk about his feelings, doesn’t even
understand
emotions. And he’s angry. Furious at the world, railing at fate. But he wants,
needs
, to give fate a name and a face. Morag Ramsay.’

‘I’m sure you’re right. I was thinking of going to see this Ally myself. Reason with him, if that’s possible?’

Bonnie was staring ahead again, frowning. ‘I’d be careful, if I were you. I came to warn Morag and I’d issue the same warning to you. When someone’s on the edge like Ally is, you just don’t know what they’ll do. Harm themselves?

Harm others? Do both?’ She turned back to look at Kirstin. ‘But it’s very kind of you to help Morag out. It’s what Jamie would have done. I feel very ashamed of how she and Jamie were treated. By us, by
some
of us. I didn’t actually know for sure, but I suspected, that they were spiking her drinks, giving her too many drugs, all that. I think the prime mover would have been lona. And Craig was besotted with her, so he’d have followed her lead. Ally would have thought it a bit of a ‘jolly jape’. But then he couldn’t stand Morag. At first he got on okay with her, but he quickly decided that she wasn’t good enough for Craig. So, there you go, they could spike her drinks unchallenged.’

Kirstin turned her gaze from the line of cars to look at Bonnie. ‘Not exacdy the actions of friends?’

Bonnie shrugged her thin shoulders. ‘But that’s just it. The group dynamic was weird. I’ve thought about this a lot, believe me. The glue—the
magnets
, if you like—were Ally and lona. They were very spoilt people. No doubt the product of their privileged upbringing. But they had charm. Charisma. Very dangerous qualities, in my view. To those taken in by them. And they had money, of course. But…I don’t want you to think Ally is just that. Ally is…
complicated
. I don’t know for sure, but I get the feeling that he’s had things happen to him in early life, and he’s just never dealt with any of it. You can just sense these things, can’t you? Buried pain. He’s overcompensated in other ways, though. For example, he’s a very astute businessman. Pounces on an opportunity if he thinks it’s a good bet. My clinic, for example. Eraser too. He went into the property business with him. And Craig. He got a tip from Craig about some pharmaceutical research and bought a load of shares in this small company. That was one deal that went belly up, though. Still, he didn’t seem to hold it against Craig.’

Kirstin nudged the car forward. They were moving at last. ‘And lona?’

‘Oh, she had looks
and
money. She was a failed, or rather, talentless artist, who could buy her way to the top table of the rather parochial art world here in Edinburgh. Her gallery, egotistically entitled ‘The Sutherland Gallery’ of course, was gaining a reputation. Give lona her due, she had a keen eye for new work and ran a stable of young, pretty, male artists, art college graduates and the like…actually, thinking about that…you should talk to Jules.’

‘Jules?’

Bonnie glanced at her quickly. ‘Jules Moncrieff. He was lona’s star protege
and
, unbeknown to her, the love of Ally’s life. Jules has left him now, though.’ She turned to look at Kirstin again. ‘It was one of the reasons I went round to see Morag, though I’ve not had a chance to talk to her about it yet. I’ve already asked Jules if he’d meet up with Morag and he’s agreed. I’ll speak to him again and let him know what’s happened. Morag should meet him. He was there that day.’

Kirstin was surprised. ‘I’ve not heard anything about him. He was at the river party?’

‘Not exactly. He was there to meet Ally. A lovers’ tryst. But he’s got quite a good take on events later in the day.’ She took another sip of her water. ‘It’s a bit delicate, actually. He never went to the police but, a year on, he’s more relaxed about it all. His current partner is a long-term client of mine, so I’ve got to know Jules quite well lately. It might help Morag to meet him. And he’s thoroughly sick of Ally, so that’s a little incentive for him to help her.’

Kirstin smiled. ‘Sounds like a good idea. Should cheer Morag up. Okay, here we are.’

Bonnie fumbled about in her bag and scribbled down a number on the back of her business card. ‘Here. I’ve given you my home number too, just in case.’

Kirstin nodded her thanks as Bonnie slid the ‘card on to the dashboard. They were double-parked outside Ross’s office. ‘I’ve just got to pick up the keys to Jamie’s house and then I’ll run you over to your clinic.’ Kirstin reached for her mobile. ‘Let me get Ross to come down before I get a traffic warden on my case.’

Two minutes later, there he was, shirtsleeved, looking harassed and grumpy.

Kirstin tried a smile. ‘Hi. This is Bonnie. You’ve not met before?’

‘Nope.’ He gave a cursory nod to Bonnie. ‘Kirstin, I’m with a client, I can’t hang around. Here are the keys. I have to go.’