2020: Emergency Exit (4 page)

He stopped and waited for any of us to say something, but no one did. He’d made his point. We all, even Cameron, believed the radio message was legit. I mean, we were up in the wilderness of northern Minnesota and it was like this. Whoever was targeting small towns probably only did so because they had everything else covered too.

What needed to be said had now been officially said. Dad walked over to Cameron and put his hand on Cameron’s shoulder. He spoke in a calmer voice now. “I know this is the furthest thing from ideal. I hate it. I’m mad about it. But none of this is Danny’s fault. None of this is your fault either, Cameron. And after all you and Danny have been through together, you know what he would do for you…and for your family. The only way we’re going to get through this is if we all stick together. I’m not going to try to convince you.” He pointed at Cameron. “You.” Pointing at Jenna. “Or you—” He pointed at Kate. “—that leaving your families behind is the right thing. It’s terrible. If my wife were down there I’d be going to try to find her. But I’m old. You all are young. I don’t know if I can make it to Hawaii, but I believe you all can. This isn’t the end for you all…or—” Dad waved off my interruption. “—hopefully for any of us. But…but, I personally think that if we do anything other than make a run for it at this point, we’re all dead. And I do have my wife here with me so—again personally—I would like to at least try to live.”

Everyone was watching Cameron and I was relieved to see him nodding. He knew Dad was right. There’s nothing any of us could do to change the way things were, and the only way we could hope to get through it was together.

Danny approached Cameron now, and I watched Cameron extend his hand for a fist bump. Danny responded accordingly. That wouldn’t have been enough of an apology for me, and frankly Cameron’s dig still bothered me, but it appeared to be sufficient for Danny. And Dad. Content that the two of them were on good terms, and that the rest of us were all on the same page, he returned to the table and began loading our flashlights with new batteries. Danny and Cameron went downstairs to clean and load up all my guns. They additionally packed and brought up bags of hunting equipment and all their own Special Ops gear. Jenna followed Mom into the kitchen and helped her organize our food and other supplies. Kate said she was going to take a shower, which struck me as odd for some reason, but no one objected to the idea. So maybe it was just me. Then again, who knew what ‘normal’ even was at this point anymore?

Hayley snapped me out of my daze and got me involved with Dad in going through my collection of maps. We created a folder of potential routes, all in some form of a similar line from Ely to Mexico or Southern California. I flipped through the maps we’d need: Minnesota, North and South Dakota, Wyoming, Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, Mexico, California, Hawaii, and two different national maps. We went over the route options with Danny, and he put the entire folder in his truck. I packed a spare atlas in my truck and another in my bag in case we were separated at any point.

We planned to stop at our favorite hunting store in Grand Forks, North Dakota, on the way through to pick up the items on Danny’s extensive list of “needs,” half of which were items to combat the enemy’s THIRST detection equipment. From there, it was going to be one heck of a long trip. It was almost three thousand miles to the west coast of Mexico, and then we’d have to figure out how to get to Hawaii. But we couldn’t afford to dwell on that now. That was a long ways off.

Our current focus was on making it to Estes Park, Colorado, a place we’d vacationed dozens of times over the past two decades. Since it was pretty close to the halfway point to the coast it was a logical spot to regroup and adjust our course. But even more pressing was the initial leg to Grand Forks, North Dakota. We planned to stop at Cabela’s there, our favorite hunting/camping store, collect some necessary supplies, and hopefully spend a few hours getting a little rest.

We were worried the origin of our many attempted phone calls may have been traced, and troops might already be on their way to the cabin. Danny and Dad took all the batteries and chips out of our mobile phones, GPS and other devices. No point in taking any unnecessary chances. By 6 p.m. we were ready to go. We figured most of our travel was going to have to be at night. We’d have to keep the lights off and drive much slower, but doing so in both cases would help us maintain some form of cover. Danny had made it clear it would be difficult to hide from the enemy’s THIRST equipment, but at night we could at least be mistaken for animals. In daylight, on the other hand, there would be no way to hide.

We ate a final meal at the table together and then headed outside to Sophie’s headstone for a farewell prayer. It was at that point I mentioned to Dad that I wasn’t going along. The ensuing conversation didn’t quite go the way I had planned. In fact it wasn’t much of a conversation at all. He grabbed my arm and yanked me inside the cabin. I saw Danny glance back at us before Dad shut the door. “Oww… dang…” I objected.

“Shut up,” he barked. “You listen close because I’m only going to say this once.” He still hadn’t let go of my arm, or decreased the strength of his grip. “When Sophie died we all lost you too, Ryan. You disappeared. We all tried to be understanding while you were up here being selfish—feeling sorry for yourself. It was hard as a parent to see my son give up. But it was hard on your kids too. They really needed you and you weren’t there. They missed Sophie as much as you did. But they tried to move on. We all did. Everyone except you.”

“Dad—” I tried to cut him off, but he wouldn’t stop.

“You can’t do that to them now.” He poked a finger hard into my chest. “You can’t give up. Even if you still miss her. Even if it still really hurts. Just stop to think for a second about Danny and Hayley—right now—this would be the last time you’d see either of your kids. Ever! The…last…time,” he emphasized each word. “Your wife—I’m sorry—is dead. But your kids are still alive. You think it was hard for them to forgive you for what you did before? There’d be no forgiving this. And Sophie wouldn’t forgive you either. This would be your biggest mistake. Ever!”

And then he was out the door.
Ouch.
I stood there stunned, but suddenly well aware of the truth in his lecture. I’m not always the quickest guy, but I got that message right away. He was right…about all of it. All of his words hit home.
It would be a huge mistake to stay here
. Sophie would never forgive me if I stayed here.
I would never forgive me
.

I joined the others at her tombstone and we all said a few words, then everyone but Danny and I headed to the trucks. He stood behind me as I knelt in the rain. I said goodbye to Sophie. For the last time.

And then we were leaving. Kate and Hayley hopped in the truck Danny was driving. I was with Mom and Dad. Jenna joined Cameron in the last. We could have easily crammed into two trucks, but Dad thought it wise to bring a third along, just in case.

We headed out, lights off, slowly making our way across the back roads toward Grand Forks. We’d concealed the cabin entrance as we pulled out, in case we ran into any enemy presence right away forcing us to retreat. That didn’t happen, and we continued west across northern Minnesota. The pouring rain made it even harder to see without lights, and kept our speed down around forty miles per hour, but we knew these roads well. The kids and I had driven them on many hunting and camping trips.

Still, each flash of lightning resonated through us like a gunshot, every roll of thunder like an explosion. I could only imagine what everyone else was thinking and feeling. I couldn’t stop shaking, couldn’t subdue the waves of chills. My heart was pounding in my chest, ears and seemingly even in my feet—I was clearly more scared than I’d ever been. The tension was surreal—unlike any I’d felt before. I was riding in the back seat, head against the cold window, fading in and out of my parents’ conversation. Staring out into the cold, dark rain, my thoughts drifted back through the last few years. My mind took me back to Sophie.

FOUR: “The Kids”

We’d buried her at the lake, six hours north of our home in Pine Island. Okay, maybe I should say, I did. I buried her there. I did it because I never planned to leave there again, which is ironic because I’d always hated living in Minnesota. For me, hell froze over annually from October to April. It sucked. But Sophie loved Minnesota and her stupid Vikings. And Sophie loved the cabin. We bought it six months before her death, and we had planned to retire there—someday. When she died, I was good with “someday” starting immediately. I put our house in southern Minnesota up for sale, and moved up north a few days later. I did what I apparently do quite well. I left the kids. Again. Only difference was, this time I took Sophie with me.

Cameron’s parents took Danny in. He lived above their garage his last two years of high school. He and Cameron had been like brothers since they were five or six anyway. They’d fished, hunted, snowboarded, raced motorcycles, and played virtually every sport together since then. They held each other in check and pushed each other competitively in everything. Danny was already a driven kid, with all of Sophie’s incredible athletic genes, but losing Sophie drove him even harder. I don’t think living with his best friend those two years hurt Danny. It was clear he still wanted nothing to do with me, and even more clear he blamed me in some way for what had happened to her—for what happened to our family. I couldn’t fault him for that.

Danny, like his grandfather (my dad), was a natural born leader. Blond-haired, blue-eyed, handsome as hell, and about six foot three or four. He was one tough kid. A modern-day MacGyver and Eagle Scout (also like his grandpa), and an expert marksman with most any weapon, backed with a decade of mixed martial arts; you’d want Danny with you when the crap hit the fan. He was certainly the ideal travel companion for a situation as far fetched as this one.

Cameron was similarly appointed, and the two of them had joined the Marines together straight out of high school. No doubt, for Danny, it was the perfect means to get him even further away from me. While their friends were binge drinking, smoking pot, and getting girls pregnant, Danny and Cameron were off challenging each other and transforming themselves from skilled duck and deer hunters into some of the world’s most elite snipers.

That first year away did wonders for rebuilding our relationship. I would never forget his first day back home, at the halfway point of their Special Ops training. Hayley and I went to meet them at the Minneapolis airport. I barely recognized Danny with his short-cropped hair. It had been long as far back as I could remember. I definitely didn’t recognize the smile he gave me as he actually sought me out and hugged me first.
First!
I hadn’t counted on a hug at all. I sure had missed him. I had honestly only hoped to see him. That hug was so much better than expected.

We spoke that night for hours, for the first time in years. He apologized for some things. I apologized for much more. He cried a little. I cried a lot more. He didn’t even yell. Once.
Man he had a lot of his mother in him
. I wouldn’t say he forgave me, but he seemed to be intent on giving me a second chance.
Or tenth
. It was probably for his mother’s sake, but I was thrilled to take it any way I could get it. Better still, at his insistence Hayley agreed to move up to the cabin with me for her senior year of high school. “It’s time to put the pieces back together,” he’d said.

The military completed the conversion of my boy into a man, and I was grateful for the results. Their Special Ops training was a gift to us right now. Without them, we knew we’d have no chance against this army. With them, we knew we had as much of a chance as Jim Carrey did getting that girl in
Dumb & Dumber
. But it was at least a chance.

The boys’ girlfriends were very much their complements. Cameron had been seeing Jenna steadily for about two and a half years. She was a pre-med student and one of the brightest kids I’ve ever known. Danny and Kate had been together nearly five years now. Danny had tried to break up with her after Sophie’s death, but Kate wouldn’t let him. She gave him space, but never left him alone. She didn’t want him to repeat his father’s mistakes.
Smart girl
. Though Danny had distanced himself from the romance side of their relationship, it was clear how deep his love for her remained, and to Kate’s credit that seemed to be good enough for now. While Danny was away at Scout Sniper training in Quantico, Virginia, Kate was working on her education degree, which suited her enduring patience and diverse skill set rather well. Danny was lucky to have her.

I was equally thankful for Kate. She and her mom took Hayley in for the first three years after Sophie passed, before Hayley moved up north with me. I might not have done the right thing by leaving Hayley—definitely debatable—but living with the Beckers gave her someone in Kate and Mrs. Becker (who’d lost her own spouse), to help her adjust to life without her mother. Kate had always been around our family and had a great head on her shoulders. Hayley had forever trusted her like a big sister. Kate kept Hayley out of trouble and focused on academics like I wouldn’t have been able to. I was so self-absorbed I might not have noticed Hayley getting a Mike Tyson style tattoo across her entire face.
Okay, so that’s a slight exaggeration.

Hayley was now eighteen. Dark complexioned with shoulder-length brown hair, she was tall, athletic and beautiful like her mother. She was additionally blessed with Sophie’s intelligence and selflessness, and Danny’s “street smarts.” Boys would have considered her the complete package, but she hadn’t yet found one that met her expectations or interests. Or they couldn’t keep up with her. That was most likely the case. A straight-A student since fifth grade, she had recently accepted a full academic/archery scholarship to Michigan State. I’m sure I had Kate, her mom, and probably even The Hunger Games to thank for that. Most people would kill for Hayley’s archery skillset.
Probably not the best choice of words, I know
.