24690 (17 page)

Chapter 28

24690

The silence that met us as we walked into the funeral home was so thick that I wasn’t sure if anyone was even here. It wasn’t until the high leader appeared from a pair of double doors in the back that the anxiety spiked. This was real. Too real. I wasn’t sure if I could go any further.

“Main Master.” His head bowed and tears made the room blur as West practically pulled me toward him. To hear West called that when I’d spend the last few years knowing it was Bram was a slap in the face. I was awaking to the nightmare that was my life and the truth was too much.

“High Leader.”

West glanced around the room, shaking his head. Tears pooled in his own eyes and my lids narrowed through the anger. He didn’t care that Bram was dead. Not like I did. I’d heard the coldness he harbored. I knew his plans and how he was going to destroy everything Bram had worked so hard for.

“If you’ll come this way. The viewing is almost over. You made it just in time. They’re about to close off the room from anymore guests.”

Lyle turned and we followed him into an elaborate room. Chairs were on both sides of the long aisle and a few people were sitting. Guards surrounded the back part of the casket, and one was even leaning over the top, bowing his head.

Wetness slid down my cheeks and I sniffled to try to hold in the sob that was on the verge of leaving me. The closer we got, the harder it was to continue. My body wanted to collapse to the floor. To curl into itself and never move again.

“He fought hard in his last moments when they turned off the machines. I wasn’t sure he was going to go.” The high leader took a shuddering breath and a whimper left my lips. Bram’s face came into view and unknowingly in my moment, I reached out, grabbing Lyle’s forearm so I wouldn’t fall. I knew West had me, but I was reaching to trust. To loyalty as I held to our high leader.

“Shh,” West whispered. “It’s okay.”

But it wasn’t. He was really there. Really dead.

“Allow me to take care of her while you say your goodbyes.”

Lyle reached for me and West hesitated before he nodded. The high leader led me to the side and West walked the few feet ahead. The guard stepped to the side, going back into position at the foot of the closed casket. I could only see Bram from the chest up and I wanted to open the entire thing and crawl inside with him. I didn’t want him to leave me. There was nothing left. Nothing but the children. They were the only reason I wasn’t grabbing the guard’s gun and joining the man who had my heart.

The grip on my shoulder eased me around. Lyle’s handsome features were so full of emotion that it fed mine.

“I loved him,” I whispered. “This isn’t real. It can’t be. Bram’s not dead.”

“I’m sorry. I know this is hard for you, but I have something. Something I think Mr. Whitlock would have wanted you to have. I had it brought in shortly after the accident so I could read it to him. I used to see him with the book quite often. I think you should read it, too.”

The high leader gestured with his head and another guard walked forward, handing me over a black hardcover book. One I’d seen before … the same day he’d been stabbed.

“When you get lonely, or times are hard, I want you to go somewhere where you’re alone and read this.” He glanced at West, coming back to me. “There’s a particular poem he enjoyed in the middle. I marked the page for you. Read it and have hope. Hope, above all things.” His finger lifted, pushing under my chin to lift my head higher. “Stay strong, Mistress. Don’t let them see your fear.”

The words left my lips parting. He’d said the same thing to me at the auction. My head was spinning and it all felt like a dream. I nodded, squeezing the book to my chest.

“Come say goodbye, Mistress.”

As he led me to Bram’s casket, I couldn’t stop the tears from coming again. The high leader let go, leaving me as he called West over a few feet away.

“B-bram?” Hesitantly, I reached forward, leaning in close. My free hand cupped his smooth cheek and my chest shook as I lowered to rest my forehead against his. “I want to stay with you,” I whispered. “I don’t want to leave. Come back. Come back and I will be the perfect slave to you, I promise. Don’t leave me.” I breathed in deep, still smelling his aftershave. How many times had I breathed him into me, wishing I could keep him there forever? I savored every moment when we were alone. God, I couldn’t do this without him. “Come back. I …
I love you.
I should have told you that. You should have at least known. You were afraid of hurting me, but you loved me. I know you did. We were going to make things work. We were going to be happy.”

My fingers brushed back the short hair, gripping for the smallest moment before I lifted, pressing my lips into his unresponsive ones. A hand settled on the middle of my back and I stiffened, raising to stand. West met my stair with nothing. No emotion whatsoever.

“We should go. They’re closing here.”

I turned back to Bram. What would they do if I begged to stay? If I climbed inside with him and refused to get out. I wanted to. I wanted to hold him and shut my eyes and never wake up again.

West looped his arm in mine and I brought the book back to my chest, allowing him to lead me away. With each step, a hollowness began to edge in.
The children.
They were my only concern now. I’d set them free, consequences be damned.

****

"What is that?”

My eyes opened and I curled more into a fetal position as I brought the book deeper into my chest. I kept waiting for the opportunity to read it, but West was always there. Always talking to me every few minutes.

“Poems. The high leader thought I might like to have it.”

“Bram’s book?” West reached over the bed, pulling it from my hands. He shuffled through the pages, handing it back to me.

“What does he expect you to do with a book of old poems?”

“I don’t know,” I said, quietly. “My guess is read it.”

West’s head cocked to the side as his lids lowered. “I hope my wife hasn’t decided to get an attitude toward me.”

I swallowed through my raw throat. My eyes ached from crying so much and it was almost impossible to swallow. I didn’t have the strength to fight with West right now. All I wanted was to be alone.

“Of course not. I’m sorry if it sounded that way. I’m tired.”

“You’re upset. You need to bathe and relax. Come.”

I didn’t say anything or move as I met his stare. It was a clear sign to him that I didn’t want to, but he didn’t seem to care as he took the book from my hands and swept me into his arms. When he placed me to my feet outside of the large tub, my hand shot out to stop the advance of his.

“I have two days to decide.”

“You do. But I’m not expecting an answer right now. I’m trying to help the woman I care about. She’s grieving and she shouldn’t be alone.”

He turned me, unzipping the dress. Rage was hammering inside of me, looking for a reason to escape. I held it in while he stepped away and grabbed a long lighter. One by one, he lit the candles surrounding the bathtub. When the lights went out, he started the water. Still, I stood and watched his every move.

“I won’t touch you again. Undress and get in.”

He moved to the counter, unscrewing a canister. What looked like salt was poured into the water. A light, relaxing smell filled the air and he went back, pouring liquid into the stream. The bubbles were automatic. I let the dress drop and climbed in. Again, something poured in the water, but I was too tired to argue. The smell lured me to lie back and I closed my eyes as the bubbles rose. When the water stirred, my lids shot open. West was sitting on the edge, still dressed. His sleeves were rolled up and he had a large sponge he was dipping in the water. His eyes met mine and he leaned over, turning off the water. It was full now, even though it had only seemed like seconds had passed.

He didn’t speak as he dipped the sponge again and brought it to my chest. Instinct had me grabbing his wrist hard before I could stop myself. My anger was still there, buzzing in my head while I fought to think.

“No, no. Close your eyes. You’re safe right now.”

But it was a lie. I was never safe with West. Never.

Darkness took over and it wasn’t long before I yawned. Warmth rushed over my shoulders and the sponge took its time sliding over my arms, chest, and stomach. When West lifted one of my legs to rest on the edge of the rub, I could barely think about how wrong it was. I blinked, taking in the tingling of skin. Faster, my mind raced. There was a familiarity here. Too much familiarity … and fear.

The click in my brain left me fighting to move my limbs. Water splashed, but my control wasn’t my own. Words were a jumbled mess on my tongue and the only thing that came was sounds.

“Calm, slave. I’m only washing you.
Feel
.”

He didn’t leave me a choice as my body sunk back into the comfortable state. This time was different than before. At the auction, I’d at least been able to walk, even if I couldn’t figure out how I was doing it. But now, it was almost impossible to move. Even in my moment of fighting, I was aware how my arms and legs were barely moving.

“There we go,” he whispered, pulling my knee closer toward him—spreading my legs wider.

The foamy square went back and forth over my inner thigh until West dipped even lower. Sensations exploded as he let his fingers trace over my folds. My body jerked, but I could still barely move. Only feel, like he wanted.

“You know, I have to admit. Listening to you talk to Bram, I was pretty jealous. Enraged, actually. But then I thought, what do I have to be envious over? He’s dead, and I have you. At least to an extent. And I have Whitlock. I have everything I’ve always wanted. And my plans for you, they’re not entirely dishonorable. I’m going to give you a chance to love me like you loved him. I’m going to treat you well. Ultimately, though, it will be up to you how things play out. You may be angry at me for what I’m doing right now, but you’ll come to see how it was for the best. To experience me like I want you to, I can’t have your innocent little mind working up reasons why not to give me a chance. You have to see the other side of me. The one you keep pushing away.”

His fingers rose higher, rubbing over the top of my slit. The sponge floated to the top of the water and I blinked heavily as ecstasy soared inside of me. It shouldn’t be like this. I didn’t want it to be, but my body cared not for the little denials that managed to seep through my mind.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” He bit his lip, reaching down to ease his finger inside of me. “I can feel it too. It’s in the water. Soaking into our skin even as I speak. Fuck, I’m going to make it good for you. You’re going to love this.”

The thrusts only lasted a few more moments before he drew back and pushed down the drain. Pressure pulled against me from the water, but I felt like I was flying. Like I was being sucked toward some unmovable force.

West didn’t grab a towel. He reached down, sweeping me back into his arms as he took us to the bed. He grabbed the book, tossing it to the floor as he laid me on top of the comforter. Despite that I couldn’t move, he reached to the ends of the bed, pulling up cuffs. Panic broke through the fog, but all I could do was stare as he stretched out my arms and legs, restraining me. I knew I should be fighting—screaming for help, but it was impossible. And my body was still wanting something else. Something more.

Deep breaths left me while he jerked at his clothes, removing them. Like a man possessed, his eyes held mine. He lowered to the foot of the bed and kiss by kiss, he worked his way up my inner leg. Each brush of his lips sent my skin burning with even more fire. My stomach was so tight that a cry involuntarily left me. The sound had West smiling as he glanced up from where he hovered between my legs.

“What is it you want? This?” His tongue traveled the length of my slit, pushing between my folds as he flicked over my clit. “Or maybe this?”

A cry tore free at the pressure of his tongue invading my entrance. My head somehow managed to shoot back and forth and I took a deep breath. The drug gave off a rolling sensation and I felt the effects slam back into me.

“Fuck, you’re so hot and wet.” He sucked against my folds, going back to thrust his tongue inside. My eyes rolled and the sensation numbed for only a moment before it kicked in a million times stronger. I was shaking. I knew that much. And screaming? God, I was having an orgasm … The thought was enough to make sickness slide in. But it didn’t last.

More, he sucked and licked. With every sweep of his tongue, he built me even more.

“I could do this every night. I think I’d like that. And I know you would.” He rose, sliding his fingers inside of me as he moved to kiss up my stomach. When teeth tugged at my nipple, my body arched, trembling and jerking, again. But this time my orgasm was more powerful. And I had no control or even warning when it was coming.

Tears raced down the sides of my face, but sobs didn’t come. Only the deep inhales and exhales as he rubbed along the inside of my channel. Suction drew my nipple into his mouth and the vibrations from his moan ignited a humming so strong that even my teeth vibrated. I gasped, hating how I was beginning to rock against him.