25 Biggest Mistakes Teachers Make and How to Avoid Them (36 page)

SCENARIO 16.6
Diagnosis: Faking

My worst experience was in the fourth grade. My teacher made fun of me and called me names like “baby” because I was very sick with migraine headaches. She would accuse me of faking just to go home. I used to cry all the time, especially when I was sick, because I was scared. I never ever faked. To this day, I am a migraine headache sufferer and I go through a lot of treatments that include daily medicine, therapy, and Demerol. But that teacher was the poorest excuse for a teacher that I ever had. My mother was furious and had a real long, LOUD talk with her one day and then she changed her ways.

The unsympathetic, insensitive teacher in this scenario is not trained to diagnose illnesses, but she presumed to diagnose faking an illness. She taunted and ridiculed a sick child because she thought the child just wanted to go home. She labeled the child a baby because the child cried about her illness. Migraine is a serious illness that involves headaches, severe pain, and visual disturbances. The severity of the migraine varies by individual. For a fourth grader, intense pain and visual disturbances can be very scary.

Sensitive, compassionate teachers would respect the student’s illness, show concern, and offer assistance. Teachers should never assume that a student is not ill. If they don’t want to take the student’s word for it, they should request doctor’s statements or other documentation to verify the illness. Consulting parents about the legitimacy of the illness is a good alternative.

I am a lucky migraine sufferer. I have migraines with visual disturbances but without the pain. They began when I was a sophomore in college. It was very scary for me and I was an adult at the time. Good teachers know that illness is scary, and they make efforts to calm students and to make them more comfortable.

SCENARIO 16.7
When the Bough Cracks

I was sick and had ulcers. I went to class and I had to get up and leave the classroom. I felt ill and knew I was going to be sick. When I got up and was walking toward the door, my teacher chased me out and yelled at me for leaving. He embarrassed me in front of everybody. I told him I was sick and was going to the bathroom. He just turned around and said he was going to mark me absent.

The new green twig on the branch of a tree is full of life, supple and yielding as it bends to withstand the winds of change. In contrast, the dead, dry twig is hard, unyielding, unbending, often cracking under the forces of change and nonconformity. In many ways, the teacher in this scenario is like the dead, dry twig. He is hard and calloused in his attempt to punish a sick child. When the sick student breaks the rules by abruptly attempting to leave the classroom, the teacher turns a deaf ear to the student’s explanation. The teacher finally cracks and starts yelling and chasing the student. His cracked, irrational behavior shatters the peace of the classroom. His punitive action has embarrassed the student, created an inaccurate attendance record that could cost the school some dollars, and encouraged truancy.

Like the green twig, reasonable teachers easily bend and sway with change. If there is a change in routine or a disruption in class because a student is ill, these teachers skillfully handle the emergency without losing momentum. They would keep the disruption to a minimum by giving some gesture of approval to assure the student that leaving is permissible. Caring teachers would follow up to make sure the student was feeling better or to provide further assistance. They are flexible and willing to relax the rules in times of crisis.

SCENARIO 16.8
The Bereaved Must Leave

When I was in fourth grade, my grandmother had just passed away. Since we were very close, that was a difficult time for me. I would cry in class sometimes when I began to think about her. One day I was crying, and Ms. H. sent me out into the hall.

Bereavement is a state of loss of a loved one. Grief is the overwhelming feeling of anguish or sorrow that accompanies bereavement. Crying is a natural expression of that grief. Children and adults cry over the loss of loved ones. Crying is therapeutic for some people. If crying is so natural, healthy, and therapeutic, why is the teacher so bothered by it? The teacher’s discomfort with the child’s display of grief may be attributed to the conventions of our society. A public display of grief, outside of funerals, is viewed as disconcerting and sometimes inappropriate. As a society we are uncomfortable with tears. We are quick to offer a tissue to sop them and stop them. Sending the child to the hall for crying was an insensitive act that may give a child the impression that she had done something wrong.

Compassionate teachers are tolerant of tears. If a child is crying, these teachers feel compelled to investigate the cause of the crying and to offer comfort if necessary. Gelman (1983) contends that people should be allowed to work through their grief. Understandably, teachers
might have a problem with crying if it disturbs the class too much. They might involve a counselor or social worker when the child needs to cry. Resourceful teachers would seize the occurrence as an opportunity to discuss bereavement, grief, and expressions of grief. Caring teachers may be tempted to touch or hug a crying child. Teachers, if they must hug, should know that they do so at their own risk. An alternative would be to have a volunteer hugger or a close friend of the student offer comfort. This may be effective for young children. Explaining the nature of grief and providing comfort for the student could reduce a potentially disruptive occurrence down to a minimal distraction.

SCENARIO 16.9
Children Must Be Seen and Heard

When I look back at grade school and think about my worst experience, Mrs. P immediately comes into my mind. She was the PE coach, and I always thought she was so mean. One day in PE class, I was talking too much, well at least in Mrs. P’s eyes I was. To be honest, I do not even remember if I was talking a lot that day, I was always so quiet and never got in trouble. After PE class that day, Mrs. P told me, “A., you have not shut your mouth today at all!”

As I walked away, I was so hurt and wanted to cry. What hurt even more was when my third-grade (and all-time favorite) teacher told me that Mrs. P. said I misbehaved that day. I admired Mrs. B. so much. She was so disappointed in me, and I will never forget that day.

I hope that one day I will meet Mrs. P., and let her know that I am going to be an elementary teacher very soon, and that I have learned and experienced so much. PE class should allow young children to be free and expressive to a certain extent. I do not think talking should be punished with such harsh and personal words. They could remain with a child for a lifetime. I can still hear her voice so well in my head, even today. I lived through the experience, but it scares me to think of the other little kids who will not live through it.

The last part of the student’s scenario is a fine response to the first part. He is about to join the ranks of good teachers who would agree with him. Young children should be free and expressive in classes like art, physical education, and music.

SCENARIO 16.10
Stripped of Protective Coating

In Mrs. D.’s class I was wearing an overcoat over clothes that didn’t match. I was overweight and wore hand-me-downs and she made me take off the coat. I cried because I felt insecure even though she thought I was probably just hot and sweaty. I was made to feel naked and exposed; the teacher did not have a clue or did not care.

This scenario is a twist on the children’s story, “The Emperor’s New Clothes.” In that story, the Emperor was duped into believing he was wearing a fine suit of clothes when in reality, he was actually naked. He felt happy and proud and paraded himself before his subjects. In contrast, the young girl in this scenario was wearing clothes, yet she felt naked and exposed. She was not happy or proud; in fact, she was ashamed and vulnerable. She was psychologically exposed once her coat or “shame cover-up” was removed. Middle-school and high-school students typically experience a period of vulnerability as their bodies are developing and they become overly conscious of their appearance. Students with perceived flaws will go to great lengths to camouflage them. These students prefer to keep a low profile at school, particularly if they are likely to draw unwanted attention to themselves. A student wearing an overcoat out of season should send up a red flag for the astute teacher that is paying attention. A sensitive teacher would make a private inquiry and ask the child if she is uncomfortable and if she wants to remove the coat. Such a teacher would intuitively know that the child is trying to hide something, particularly when the child refuses to take the coat off in adverse conditions.

The student in this scenario may be correct in her belief that the teacher just did not care. In our society and schools, there is much bias directed toward overweight, poor children. This probably was not the first time the child wore hand-me-downs that heralded her lower socioeconomic status. The teacher’s behavior toward the student may reflect her personal bias or perception that children of low socioeconomic status are not worthy of respect and gentle treatment. Tirri (2001) contends that a teacher’s personal preferences or biases can override their sense of professionalism and cause them to make moral mistakes. A more foreboding perspective suggests that the teacher knew what she was doing and derived some pleasure out of humiliating the student. Most likely, the teacher was just insensitive and unable to read the telling signs of student distress. This teacher could benefit from lessons, such as valuing the student to improve children’s self-esteem, offered by Canfield and Wells (1976). I believe the key to avoiding a problem like this is for teachers to make every effort to respect a student’s right to privacy. They should be sensitive to the struggles of overweight and poor children, supporting whatever means their students might employ to protect their young, vulnerable self-image and self-esteem.