3 Straight by the Rules (25 page)

Remembering how quickly the Hot Gel
packets and costume had ignited, I said, “I can’t sell that garbage!  Even you have to admit the products are terrible.”

With a sigh, she pulled a frayed scrap of black fabric from her laundry basket.  “This used to be the bottom to a Naughty Nightie.  And look…”  She held out her arms.  A red rash dotted her skin.  “I tried the I’m so Sexy bath oil yesterday.”  Her lower lip quivered.  “You’re right; it’s all junk!  But I spent seven hundred dollars on my sales starter kit, and I need to make enough money to pay it off.”

Seven
hundred
dollars?  No wonder she’d been so aggressive!

Corrine put her laundry into the dryer.  “When I was at my little sister’s bridal shower, I couldn’t stop thinking about how she would be getting married while I couldn’t even find a date for the wedding.  I guess I went nuts.”  She threw the ruined panties into the trash.  “I need a man.”

“You’ll find one,” I said.

“Everyone says that!  But when is it going to happen?”  A tear dribbled down her cheek.  “Sometimes at the hospital, I see patients who are always by themselves.  They’re alone when they get the news that they have cancer.  Then they go through chemo or radiation alone.  Some even
die
alone!  I’m terrified I’ll end up like that.”

I touched her hand.  “You do have a friend, you know.”

She smiled through her tears.  “Thanks, Lil.  But I want a man, too, you know?  A life-long partner.”

“I get it.  But you’re better off waiting for Mr. Right than chasing down Mr. Almost-Right.  Especially if he ends up being a cheating bastard.”  I looked at my hands, noting the empty ring finger.  “Take it from someone who’s been there.”

“I guess that’s true.”  Her smile grew sunnier.  “Thanks.  And thanks for putting up with my insanity.”

We walked upstairs together.  When we reached the first floor, Corrine said, “You are so lucky, you know that?  Your life is so full of people who love you.  If I had that, I wouldn’t need a man to make me happy.”

Since Jas and Tommy weren’t speaking to me, and William thought I was a demon slut, I wanted to argue that my relationships were far from perfect.  But at that moment, Kate and Ariel walked in through the front door.  My niece immediately began telling me about her sleepover and showing off the manicure Kate had given her.  Then my phone chimed with a text from Grace who said
I saw the Eyeful Tower today and I miss you so much
.  So I had to agree with Corrine.  I was really lucky.

With Ariel back in the apartment and both of my in-house babysitters not speaking to me, I was stuck at home.  Not that I minded.  Spending the afternoon making cookies with my niece certainly beat tempting clients.  On the other hand, that hellish to-do list of mine wasn’t going away on its own.  I’d have to work doubly hard after Ariel went to bed.  And then I’d need to complete each temptation as quickly as possible so I didn’t leave her alone for too long.

Ariel looked up from the heart-shaped, sugar cookie she’d been frosting.  “Someone’s pensive today.”

I gave a startled laugh.  “Is that your new word?”

“Yup.  It was on Kate’s Word of the Day calendar.  It means, ‘involved in serious thought.’”

“Very good!  And you’re right, I have been thinking a lot today.”

She spread more icing.  She’d insisted on red since she wanted the hearts to look bloody.  “Is it because of, you know, what you do?”

I nodded.  “That job gives me a lot to think about.”

“There’s a magic door in your bedroom, too, isn’t there?” she asked.  “Like the wardrobe in the book.”

I stopped rolling out dough.  Since she really could see the door, there was no use lying.  “Yes, but don’t try to walk through it!” I warned her.  “It won’t take you to Narnia.”

She twisted her lips, disappointed.  “Where does it go?”

I started to say Hell, but instead said, “The White Witch’s castle.”

Her eyes popped wide.  “Really?”

“Yes.”  It took great effort to keep my voice steady.  “It’s a terrible, scary place, Ari.  Somewhere I hate.  I do
not
want you or anyone else coming near it.”

Ariel paled.  “Is that were the cat-dragon came from?”  She had not only seen the berserker demon who’d attacked me, she’d shot at it with my dad’s gun.  When I nodded, she asked,  “Is it safe to have that door in the apartment?”

“If you stay away from it.”

She went back to frosting cookies.  “I’m
definitely
staying away from it.  And, don’t worry, I’ll keep Tea and Grace out of there, too.”

I patted her shoulder.  “Good girl.”

She was quiet for a long time, but then she asked, “Do you see the White Witch when you go through that door?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

Ariel regarded me from under her black bangs.  “Is she scary?”

“Extremely scary.”

She licked icing from her finger.  “Tommy says the White Witch is terrible, but she has a secret.”

“What’s that?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“She always loses to Aslan.  Every time.”

I considered the bit of the cross Helen kept in her office.  It was proof she’d won at least one round in the supernatural struggle.

Ariel continued.  “You know what I think?  I think Aslan
pretends
to let her win once in a while, but really, he always comes out on top.”

I gaped at my niece.  Back when I’d been her age, I’d been busy planning sleepovers and writing in my diary about cute boys I liked, not contemplating religious philosophy.  “You amaze me,” I said.

She shrugged and picked up another cookie.

From down the hallway came an otherworld shimmer.  Luckily, it was so slight that Ariel didn’t notice.  I quickly wiped my hands then went down to my bedroom where Delilah waited.

“What now?” I asked wearily.

“You should be happier than that to see me.”  She handed me a pile of papers that was thinner than the one from the day before.  “I grouped all of the names the best way I can.  There’s still a few solo temptations since I couldn’t get the entire wait staff at one time, but the rest of them are at least paired together.”

“That
is
good news.  Thanks.”  I glanced at the pages.  Each of the assignments had a date and a time, but every set of instructions was exactly the same.  “Get the client to do something they don’t want to,” I read out loud.  “That’s pretty open-ended.”

Delilah nodded.  “Miss Spry said she enjoyed your creativity so much last night that she wanted you to come up with your own temptations.  ‘Let her entertain me,’ were her exact words.”

My temper flared.  I’d been right the night before: Helen loved her ringside seat at my blood sports.

“There’s more.”  Delilah sucked in her cheeks and shifted her weight uncomfortably.  “The old lady said you either get back to work immediately, or…” Like a magician conjuring a rabbit from a hat, she pulled a white rose and a pair of garden shears from behind her back and clipped the bloom from the stem.

I shuddered, wondering which of my loved ones was represented by that flower.  “Tell her I’ll do it.”

“I’m sorry, Lilith.  I really am,” Delilah said as she stepped back into the otherworld.

Ariel leapt onto my bed, her wide eyes staring at the doorway.  “Were you talking to someone from that bad place?”

“She’s from the bad place, but she’s a good person,” I assured her.

I had work to do, but I also had an eleven-year-old to consider.  I bit my lip, thinking.  I couldn’t call Kate back again, and Jas and Tommy were both out of the picture.  I glanced at the clock.  It would take my Dad and Evelyn at least an hour or longer to get to my apartment during rush hour.

“You’re pensive again,” Ariel observed.

“I know.  Look, I need you to do me a very big favor.  I want you to stay with Corrine from downstairs.  For just an hour!” I said as Ariel started to complain.  “I have some errands to run.”  Hopefully, if I removed a few names from my to-do list, Helen would simmer down.

I called Corrine.  “Can you watch Ari for about an hour?  I have to run out.”

“Send her down.   She can help me sort flyers.”

“Uh, those aren’t for your Naughty Nancy products, are they?”

“Don’t worry.  These are child appropriate.”

Hoping I could trust her, I hung up the phone.  “Corrine says go on down.”

Ariel groaned, but she put her flip flops on and trudged down the stairs.

I immediately went to work.  I convinced a Little League coach to bench a freckle-faced boy so his own son could play in the game instead.  I encouraged a woman to stand up her dinner date.  I urged one of the waiters to pour his used motor oil down the storm sewer.  I persuaded a man to steal his mother’s silver tea service so he could sell it on E-bay.

One hour and four temptations later, I returned to Corrine’s apartment to rescue Ariel.  To my surprise, she was reluctant to leave.  “Corrine’s paying me to put inserts into the catalogs for her!  I get ten cents for every one I do, and so far, I’m up to five dollars.”

I worried what Ari had seen while stuffing those catalogs.  “That was very nice of you.  I think.”

“She’s doing me the favor,” Corrine said.  “You can’t beat the price of child labor.”  She frowned a little.  “Too bad it’s illegal in this country.”

“I’m going to use the money I’m making to order something in here,” Ariel said happily.  She pointed to an insert.

Horrified, I picked one up, wondering what child-inappropriate thing had caught my niece’s eye.  To my relief, Corrine hadn’t been lying.  The inserts didn’t feature the typical Naughty Nancy selection of body gels and sex games.  Instead, on the cover was a picture of a plush teddy bear holding a heart-shaped pillow, and the caption: “NEW: Naughty Nancy’s Sweetheart Collection.”

Curious in spite of myself, I quickly paged through the catalog.  There were a few pretty pieces of jewelry; scented candles; and a spa set with scrubs, lotions, and bath salts (‘to pamper the lady in your life’).  Although most the stuff in the new collection was still tacky, it at least gave a nod to real romance.

“There’s a stuffed lion on page eight,” Ariel said.  “Can I get it?”

Sure enough, page eight featured a picture of a lion cub holding a heart-shaped pillow that said, ‘I love you’.  “Maybe,” I told her and shut the catalog.  I held out my hand.  “But now we need to go.”

Corrine paid Ariel.  “Come back any time.  I’ve got plenty of other jobs for you.”

I hustled Ari out of the door before my downstairs neighbor tried to recruit my niece into becoming a sales rep.

As Ariel and I came up the stairs, we found Tommy in the hallway, his fist raised as he readied to knock on our door.

“Tommy!”  Ariel, overjoyed, flew to hug him.

“I was hoping I could steal Ari for a few hours,” he said.  “I want to take her on a date.  Dinner and a movie?”

Ariel jumped up and clapped her hands.  “Yes!!”

I wasn’t so sure.  When I unlocked the door to the flat, I said, “Ariel, go take a shower, okay?”  She still hadn’t cleaned up after that morning’s basketball camp.  “Four hours in a hot gym has not done wonders for you.”

She sniffed her armpit and made a face.  “Good point.”  She dashed down the hallway.