30 Pieces of a Novel (35 page)

Looks at his mother—sleeping, definitely: the breathing. If she weren't he'd initiate a conversation about something: that they're much better off in the shade than the sun, don't you agree? How can people, like the ones on the grass there, lie in the sun, not just the heat and humidity but the sweating and harmful rays? And what do you get from it? Brown, red, possibly a bad burn. Her soda! and he looks but she placed it on the ground by the wheel. The Frisbee? Lying by the woman; she's flat on her back now, no towel or anything like that beneath her that he can see, arms and legs stretched out, sandals off, and eyes closed. So, out to get a tan—maybe the main reason for coming to the park and explanation for the brief clothes—but why the Frisbee? Looking for someone to play with? A come-on or you-come-to-me or whatever the term. A ploy. Guy sees the Frisbee, says, “Wanna toss it around?” and she likes athletic, forward young guys. So they throw, start talking. First: “Good catch,” or “Sorry,” if that one misses it. “No, it was my fault. I threw it too far over your head,” or “I didn't keep it up long enough for you to get under it.” Then: “You throw and catch well, where'd you learn?” “Frisbee school.” “Yeah, funny, me too, classes right here in the park.” “Really, I just picked it up; it's not very hard.” Suppose it's a woman who sees the Frisbee lying beside her and says, “Wanna toss it around?” “No, thanks, I came out here mainly to rest; maybe later.” Suppose the woman then says, “Mind if I borrow it and me and somebody else toss it around?” “I'd just like to keep it beside me, if you don't mind.” And she has no sunglasses on; she looks the kind that would. Anyway, after they toss it around he invites her to the kiosk nearby for a soda or iced coffee or tea, or she invites him, or they both say they're hot, at the same time say, “Let's get something cold to drink,” and the thing's started: tonight, or an hour or two from now, in one or the other's bed, or not so fast. Gould's energetic enough to toss a Frisbee around, knows how to, doesn't think he'd get winded from it if he didn't do it too long or hard, but would he do it if he weren't married or with his mother and so on? What “so on”? Well, overcoming his natural shyness and anxiety about being rejected and other things to go over to her and say something like, “Excuse me, miss, but I see you have a Frisbee; would you like to toss it around?” He doesn't know. Would depend on how long he hasn't been with a woman, what he thought he looked like at the time. Also if there were other people near her; now there aren't. Other things. You think about them at the time, you never do it. But he loves her body. He has to admit that. It's the body for him. So many bodies for him. So many in the park. So many in tight tank tops and shorts cut high and with full breasts and rears and small waists and long solid legs or just solid legs of normal length like hers. So many people exercising and in shape today. He's in shape too. Exercises, runs—not much but enough to stay in shape or look as if he's in good shape for a guy his age. Doesn't want to get a pot, likes the feel of his hard muscles, especially the arms, after he exercises with stretch bands or does pushups. But the point is she's the only young woman in a long time who's looked at him in a curious if not even a flirtatious way.

Looks at her. She's leaning up on her elbows again, turns to him maybe two seconds after he looks at her, then looks the opposite way. In the distance, direction she's facing, some kids playing badminton without a net. He imagines going over to her with her back turned, saying, “Excuse me, I don't mean to startle you”—and she turns to him—“but you have a Frisbee and I could use the exercise, so I was wondering if you'd like to toss it around for a few minutes. No problem if you don't, and I'm sorry if I disturbed you.” She says, “Sure, why not, I could use the exercise too.” She gets up—does he help her? Only if she extends her hand for him to. He has a book with him, so he says, “Mind if I move my book to where your things are? Just for safekeeping; we can keep an eye on them both at the same time.” “Sure, it's okay,” she says. They find a more open area but not near the kids playing badminton. They toss, back and forth, little encouraging things said between them like the ones he thought of for her and some other guy before, and after about fifteen minutes he says, “I'm thirsty and hot, and to tell you the truth, a bit tired; like something cold to drink?” She says, “Sure, that'd be nice.” They go to that kiosk nearby. First they pick up their things. He pays, they talk. She's an actress, she's a dancer, she's a singer or violinist or pianist; she's a grade school teacher of language arts or a high school teacher in a private school teaching one of those things: music, theater, dance, maybe art. She's intelligent, well read, good sense of humor, smiles a lot at him, seems to like his company. She looks at her watch—does she have one? Can't see from here. Could be in her bag. Does she have a shoulder bag, little knapsack, something like that? Doesn't seem to, and he doesn't remember one. Just the Frisbee. Maybe what she needed to go to the park with—tissues, keys, money, wallet, watch—are all in her pockets. She have pockets in those shorts? Probably. But where was he with her? She takes a watch out of her pocket and says, “Oops, getting late; thanks for the drink but I have to leave now.” He says, “I better be going too.” She says, “I'm going out this way.” He says, “My direction too, which can't be much of a coincidence, since we were both on this side of the park in the first place.” “Sixty-fifth Street exit?” she says. “Seventy-second, but I can go out Sixty-fifth too, then walk up Columbus. Lots of things to look at, though on the west side of it, not as interesting or aesthetic.” They walk, talk, bump into each other, laugh. He accompanies her to her building. First he says, “I can walk with you right to your door, if you don't mind. It's on the way to Columbus,” or, “It's on the way to Broadway, and I just remembered I have some things to get there.” She can say, “Where?” he can say, “Fairway,” she can say, “I love that store, but gee does it get crowded. Maybe that's another reason I like it: so many characters.” When they reach her building, what? He has her name by now; maybe asks for her address—no, he has her address; he's standing in front of her building—so her phone number. Or she says, “Listen, like to come up for coffee? I still have a little time.” “Sure, I'd like that, thanks,” he says. They go up. Once inside, or a short time after she shows him her apartment, or in the kitchen, where she's putting on the teakettle, he kisses her. She kisses back. They kiss, fondle, start to undress each other. She says, “Whew, wow, a little fast, I don't know if this is such a good idea, but what the heck, you seem all right, and it's probably too late now. You have a condom? If you don't, I do.” He hasn't. She gets one out of a night table drawer, takes off the rest of her clothes, lies on the bed, one knee up, other leg straight out, stares at the ceiling. He says, “That's how you were lying in the park, though substitute ceiling with tree covering first, then sky. Where do you think we get all our body positions from, the ones we repeat over and over and naturally fall into, the womb?” “What?” she says. “Nothing, just talking.” He takes off the rest of his clothes, gets on the bed, kisses her, feels her breasts. She says, “Let's just get right to it. I feel like it, but the truth is I have to be somewhere in an hour, though I also don't want you to rush.” He puts the condom on, or she does for him, or they do it together.

Looks at her. On her back again, hands under her head this time, eyes closed. He looks at his mother. She's looking at the trees behind her, then turns to him. “Oh, there you are; I didn't want to disturb you. You seemed very deep in thought, almost troubled. Are you?” “No. And you were napping before and I didn't want to disturb
you
. Feel okay?” “Of course, why shouldn't I? Just because I'm an old lady who's gone to pot and who should probably put an end to herself before she gets worse? But tell me; I was looking at those trees there. Why do you think they're all painted black? It's very unusual, isn't it? Not just for the park but anywhere.” “They're not painted. You asked me that same question before, Mom.” “And what did you say?” “You tell me.” “Please, dear, don't make fun of me; it isn't right.” “I'm not; this will help you concentrate better the next time you want to ask that question. What did I say before, after you asked me why do I think the trees are painted black?” “I don't know and I won't pretend I do. What did I say? That I was getting daffy and should be put in a home?” “I said they weren't painted.” “They're not? This one right behind me, for instance, isn't painted black or some other dark color?” “No; it's the natural bark color, and it's nowhere near being black.” “Well, that's odd. It has to be my eyes, then. One I can hardly see out of; the other one, everything I see through it is dark and dim.” “So that's obviously the reason,” he says. “And we both know there's an operation to correct it but that Dr. Brenken—your personal physician, not your eye one—doesn't want you going through it: too many risks.” “I know,” she says, “because you already told me, right? It's what I want to do, but you don't want me taking chances.” “Both Brenken and I, yes.” “Who's that?” “Your doctor, Brenken, the one you see for checkups and stuff. The eye surgeon's leaving the decision up to him.” “But if I have a heart attack and die on the operating table, what of it? Living without seeing, and with everything else about to go on me too, what's the point in life?” “Come on, for a woman your age you're in remarkable health. And you can see, just not well.” She waves dismissively, looks away.

He looks at the woman. She's sitting up, has sunglasses on, and seems to be staring at the ground between her legs. Sunglasses must have been in her pocket or in a case clipped to some part of her clothing he couldn't see. Continues looking at her, wondering what she'll do if she looks his way and catches him. Continue to look at him? Look at him angrily, if he can see that through the sunglasses, and then look away? Smile? Probably what she did before: give off no emotion, just look away. Stares at her legs. When they're in that caret position, he'll call it, they always look better than when they're on the ground straight out or standing up. Women that age have the best-looking bodies. The ones in good shape, that is. Better than girls in their end teens or very early twenties, though for all he knows she could be twenty, twenty-one. So what's he mean then? That usually women around twenty-five or so, which by her face and the very thing he's talking of he thinks this one is, have the same flat stomachs and firm busts and so on of the teenagers and early twenty-year-olds but a roundness to their shapes the others don't have, and that maybe mid-twenties is when a woman's body peaks. Ah, he's really not too informed on the subject, so best he keep that speculation to himself. He imagines making a pass again. She has sunglasses on this time. What would he say? Frisbee again. “Excuse me, miss, but I saw the Frisbee—
noticed
—and wondered if you'd like to toss it around a little. I haven't played in a while, but my mind suddenly started going back when I saw it lying there—” She's taken off her glasses and cuts him off with “I want to lie on the grass in peace; I got to be bothered every time by some guy?” “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, but to be honest it's partly because when I saw you looking at me before, I thought—” “Saw me looking where? Were you sitting someplace around here? Because if I was looking in your direction it was probably at the scenery behind or around you. That's why I come to the park and to this particular part. Not only because it's quieter and cooler but to see the trees, the birds, and to relax with none of the typical hassles.” “Well, you had a Frisbee—” “The Frisbee's my business why I have it.” “Sure, of course, I misinterpreted it somehow, and I really did want to toss one back and forth—” She's looking at him with the expression Will-you-please-get-lost-or-do-I-have-to-call-a-cop? and he goes. When he walks away he looks around to see if anyone nearby heard or saw him getting brushed off. Nobody on the benches closest to her is looking at either of them, so either they didn't hear or are being discreet.

“Look, that's called a dog walker,” his mother says, pointing to a young woman walking a dog. “I never knew such people existed till someone told me of them. They get paid.” “Why do you think she's a professional dog walker and not just a woman walking her dog? I always thought real dog walkers walked four or five dogs at a time, seven or eight, even, I've seen.” “No, she's a dog walker who gets paid.” “But how can you be sure? I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just curious what you think distinguishes her from a regular person walking her dog.” “I'm sure, I'm sure,” she says, “but you don't think she is? Maybe I am losing my mind if I can't remember who told me or even now if anyone did. No, I'm sure someone did. I don't make these things up.” “Listen, maybe you're right. I'm in fact positive you are. I've heard of dog walkers but didn't know that some walk only one dog. Now that you mentioned it, though, it makes perfect sense they would. Some people have so much money today, especially around here—Central Park West—that they can afford anything. A walker for each of their dogs if they have more than one?—you got it, whatever the fee.” “A dog for every walker?” she says. “I don't get it. What are you saying?” “Listen closely, Mom. I'm saying that some people, if they have two dogs, will then get two dog walkers to walk those dogs individually, or the same dog walker to walk the dogs separately.” “Now I see,” she says, but it doesn't seem she does by the down-in-the-dumps look she gives him, so he says, “You're all right, right? My talk about dogs didn't bother you?” “No, why would it? But what specifically were you saying? Oh, better we don't talk about it. You'll think I forget everything, when I don't,” and she leans back in the wheelchair and slowly closes her eyes.