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“What’s the big rush?” asked Paul after they
were out of the apartment.

“I needed to get out of there.” She didn’t
even realize why she said that. “I think I just needed some fresh
air.”

Paul bristled in the breeze and shoved his
hands into his pockets. His leather coat made a cracking noise as
he stretched it, and Alma loved the sound. It was one of the
million different nuances of being with Paul that she never
realized she missed. She looked up at him, smiled, and a tear fell
down her cheek.

“What’s wrong?” He was sympathetic as he
reached out to comfort her.

“I don’t know,” she said, honestly. “I
really don’t.”

“Come here, kid.” He wrapped his arms around
her and pulled her in close. “I’ve got your back. If you want to
hop on the bike, take off, and forget all this shit, I’ll be right
there with you. Okay?”

“No,” she nestled into his embrace. “I need
this. I never knew it, but I really need to do this. I’ve got to
erase that part of my life.”

“I’ve got your back, babe. Whatever you
decide to do, I’ve got your back.”

She stepped out of his embrace, folded her
arms, and looked at him. He stood on the sidewalk, watching her, as
the moonlight reflected off his bald head. The snake tattoo that
was now revealed on the right side of his head, partially shaded by
emerging hair, was facing her. She’d never known the tattoo was
there, until yesterday when she saw him with a shaved head for the
first time.

“Why?” she asked.

“Why what?”

“Why do you have my back?”

He looked as if the question was an affront.
“Because I love you.”

For some reason, she didn’t believe him. “I
don’t understand why we keep doing this.”

“Oh come on, Alma.” He sighed and started to
pat the various pockets on his jacket in search of his cigarettes.
“We’re not breaking up already, are we? We just patched things
up.”

“We did?” She laughed, although not out of
humor. “I don’t remember that. Matter of fact, I seem to recall
being pretty pissed at you when I found a rubber in your
shitter.”

He looked tired as he lit his cigarette. He
didn’t bother responding and let the smoke drift lazily out of his
open mouth.

“You’ve got nothing to say about that?” She
took another step away from him and crossed her arms.

“What do you want me to say? I didn’t do
anything wrong.”

He was right, but that didn’t make her any
less angry.

“We’re meant for each other.” He took a drag
and squinted at her as he did, then he let the smoke come out of
his nose as he continued. “You know it as well as I do. We’re good
together, and not worth a shit apart. Our problem is that we
haven’t figured out how to fight yet. When we do,” he smiled as he
mimicked an explosion, “it gets real bad real quick.”

“I don’t want to go through it all again,”
said Alma. “You really hurt me last time.” She tightened her grip
around herself and took another step away from him.

“I know it.” He looked down at the ash at
the end of his cigarette, avoiding her gaze. “Want to know a secret
about the last time we broke up?”

“What?” Her tone implied that she was
already skeptical of what he was going to say.

He took another drag, as if trying to stall
his admission. “I started being nasty to get you to break up with
me. I was trying to protect you.” He flicked ash onto the
sidewalk.

“Protect me from what?”

“From me.”

Alma shook her head in mild exasperation.
“What does that even mean?”

“You were falling back in with my crowd.
Just like it always happens.” Paul looked up at the moon and seemed
to study it for a moment while Alma stayed silent, waiting for him
to continue. He changed the subject abruptly. “You know when I fell
in love with you?”

“The first time I let you get to second
base?”

They shared a chuckle, but then Paul turned
serious again. “It was on our third date, back in high school.”

“What?” She shook her head and laughed as if
what he was saying couldn’t be true. “No one in high school is ever
really in love. That’s just kid stuff.”

“No, you’re wrong. I fell in love with you
on our third date, and haven’t stopped loving you since.”

“We broke up not long after that.” She
didn’t know what to make of his admission. It didn’t make sense to
her. “We didn’t start dating again until the next summer, when I
was back from college.”

He continued his story, unabated by her
disbelief. He closed his eyes as he recounted the scene. “You were
in a light purple dress, with a darker purple string tied up here.”
He pointed to his clavicle as he went on. “Some of the strings in
the dress sparkled, like they were made of tinsel or
something.”

“I remember that dress,” said Alma. “My
grandmother bought it for me.”

“I picked you up in my truck. Remember that
shitty old thing?”

She smiled as she took a step closer to him.
“Do I? I had to steer as you pushed it after running out of gas on
the highway.”

He laughed at the memory. “Not my smoothest
moment.”

“To say the least.”

“Anyhow, I remember seeing you come out of
your grandma’s place, wearing that dress, and I almost couldn’t
talk. I was just stunned. You had your hair up, and you never wore
your hair up. You looked awesome.”

“No more wearing my hair up now,” said Alma
as she tousled her newly shorn hair.

“You got into the truck and just, all of the
sudden, leaned across the seat and pecked me on the cheek. It was a
real quick kiss.”

“I remember it,” said Alma. “I was so
nervous. That was our first kiss, if you can call it that. I guess
I was a bit of a prude back then.”

He finally looked at her, and then bashfully
back to his cigarette as he flicked it. “That’s when I fell in love
with you.”

“What?” Alma accidentally snorted as she
laughed and then put her hands over her mouth in embarrassment.
“Because I kissed you? Come on. You were a ladies man back then.
You had all sorts of girls clamoring for you.”

“It wasn’t because you kissed me,” he said.
“It was because you were scared to. You got into the truck and slid
across the seat to kiss me out of nowhere, and then went right back
to your side and waited for me to drive off. It was obvious that
you’d been planning out the kiss for a long time.” He locked eyes
with her and held his gaze. “I bet you were thinking about it for
hours before I picked you up. Weren’t you?”

She looked down as he stepped forward,
closing the gap between them. “Yes. I was so nervous, you have no
idea. I wasn’t the sort of girl that got asked out a lot, and you
were such a popular guy. I couldn’t believe you were going to take
me out again for a third time. I knew it was silly not to kiss
after going on a couple dates, so I had to get it out of the way.
It was such a lame kiss.”

He took her hand and rubbed his thumb over
her knuckles. “It was the best kiss of my whole life. I’ve loved
you ever since.”

“Even when we kept breaking up?”

“Yep.”

“Then why did you turn into such an asshole
last time?” she asked. “Why were you saying that you were trying to
protect me?”

“Honestly, I was ashamed of myself.”

“For what?” she asked.

“For being a nobody. And worse than that, I
was dragging you down with me.”

“That’s silly,” she said.

“No it’s not. It’s the truth. I’ve got a lot
of bad habits, and when we’re together I drag you down with me.”
Alma was going to rebut him, but he spoke before she could. “When
was the last time you did coke?”

It was a brash question, and she was taken
aback by it. “What?”

“When was the last time? I bet I know,” he
said. “I bet it was at my birthday party, right before we broke up
last time. Am I right?”

“Yes, but what does that have to do
with…”

“It has everything to do with it,” said
Paul. “That’s my point. You’re a fucking good person, and not just
like a normal good person either. You’re an honest-to-God, really
good person, and every time we get together again I’m forced to
watch you sink down to my level. Look, I’m not trying to be a
melodramatic emo kid here. I’m being honest when I say that I drag
you down, Alma. I always have.”

“Come on, Paul. Stop it.”

“No wait, I’m trying to explain what I’ve
been up to for the past few months.” He walked away from her and
started to fidget with his lighter as he spoke. It was almost as if
he had a speech prepared, and was trying to recall all of the
details that he wanted to go over as they talked. She wondered how
long he’d been planning this conversation. “You got your dream job,
and I was putting it at risk. If your school drug tested you -
Fuck, Alma. Your life would’ve been over, and all because of
me.”

“I’m an adult. The mistakes I made were my
choice.”

“And I decided to stop putting you in a
situation where you were forced to make that kind of choice.” Paul
put his lighter back in his pocket and then pulled out what looked
like a plastic coin. He flipped the object around in his palm a few
times before handing it to Alma.

It was purple and depicted a triangle in the
center of an engraved circle. Within the triangle was written ‘2
months’.

“Is this what I think it is?” asked
Alma.

“I joined a few days after we broke up, but
fell off a few times. I’ve been straight for two months now.”

“AA?”

“Sort of,” said Paul. “It’s a different
program, but same idea. That’s how I met Jacker.”

Alma glanced back at the door to Rachel and
Stephen’s apartment where Jacker was waiting for them.

“He’s not just a buddy,” said Paul. “He’s my
sponsor.”

“Holy shit, Paul. I don’t know what to say.”
She stared at the coin and flipped it around in her hand several
times. It felt like metal, but was lighter than she expected it to
be.

“I’ve been working real hard for this, Alma.
I just want another chance with you. And all this shit, with
Widowsfield and your dad,” he shrugged and nervously scratched at
his beard. “The way this all happened now; it just feels like it
was meant to be. You know? It feels like I’m being given one last
shot to prove that I’m the right guy for you.”

“I didn’t need you to do this,” said Alma as
she held up the coin. “I didn’t know you had an addiction.”

“Neither did I.” He took the coin, kissed
it, and slipped it back in his pocket. “It wasn’t until my
birthday, when I saw you snorting a line off my bathroom sink, that
it hit me. That was my worst moment. I saw myself for what I was,
and it wrecked me. I knew that if it weren’t for me, you’d never do
drugs. Your job was too important to you, but you were risking it
because of me. I thought about quitting, but then I thought…” he
didn’t want to continue.

“What?” asked Alma.

“This hurts to admit, but I wanted the drugs
more than I wanted you. That’s why I turned into such a prick, and
that’s how I knew I had a problem, because nothing ever meant more
to me than you – or at least that’s what I thought until that
night. That’s when I knew I had to do something if I was ever going
to earn you back.”

“Paul,” said Alma as she took his hands in
hers. “You never had to earn me back, all you had to do was
ask.”

“Well, then this is me asking.” He smiled
down at her. “Alma Harper, will you take me back?”

She grinned and closed her eyes, then let go
of his hands and abruptly turned. “No, I don’t think so.” She took
a long, exaggerated step away as she toyed with him. Then she
turned and leapt back into his arms. “Of course I will, you big
dummy.” She got on the tips of her new, expensive pumps and was
about to kiss him, but then put her finger over his lips and pushed
his head to the side. She pecked him on the cheek like she had on
their third date, when he fell in love with her.

He chuckled, and wrapped his arms around
her. “Oh no, that doesn’t cut it anymore.” He kissed her and then
started to spin, lifting her feet off the ground. He stopped, set
her down, and then caught her before she tumbled over in her
heels.

Alma laughed as she clung to his arm. It had
been a long time since she’d worn high heels and she was struggling
to get used to them again. The cut on her right foot didn’t help
either. “Now hurry up and get me home so I can get my stuff and
then screw your brains out.”

He scooped her up in his arms and walked
toward his bike. “Hold on little lady. With a promise like that,
you’d better believe I’m going to drive like a bat out of hell to
get to your place!”

Alma let her head fall back as she laughed.
She stared up at the stars as they twinkled in a cloudless night
sky. She felt happy, and savored the moment.

* * *

Rachel had retreated to the bedroom to
change into a pair of flannel pajamas. Alma and Paul had been gone
longer than they expected, and Rachel was getting tired. She came
back to find Stephen and Jacker playing a videogame.

“Oh crap.” Rachel sounded disheartened as
she plopped down next to her husband. “Looks like I lost you two
for the night.”

“Nah,” said Stephen, although he didn’t look
away from the screen. “I just wanted to prove a point to our new
friend here.”

“And what point is that?” asked Rachel.

“That I could kick his ass at Call of
Duty.”

“And how’s that turning out for you?” asked
Jacker.

“Don’t get cocky. There’s still plenty of
time left.”

Rachel put her hand on Stephen’s thigh, but
he writhed away from her and moved up to sit on the edge of his
seat. “I hate this damn game,” she said and crossed her arms.

“Don’t worry,” said Jacker. “It’s about to
be over.”

Rachel heard dogs start to bark and Stephen
leapt up and yelled, “Fuck off! Are you serious?”