Authors: Carmen Rodrigues
I stand, pulling my jacket tightly across my shoulders, lifting the hood over my head. I hug my bag to my chest. I blink rapidly and look out at the world just beyond: the brown, patchy grass. A rusted car. The world is still shaky, but not for long. By nightfall the streets will be blanketed in crisp white snow, and everything will look clean again. Everything will feel possible again.
I take one step forward and then another. And soon, I am home.
I like t
o
remem
b
er trips t
o
Cedar P
o
int. The summer wind warm
o
n
o
ur
b
acks. Candied apples and ne
o
n-green
b
racelets gl
o
wing at night. And Jake
o
n Dad’s sh
o
ulders, t
oo
tired t
o
walk, and M
o
m h
o
lding my hand.
Dear Reader,
Like Ellie, there have been times when I’ve felt incredibly alone. Over the years, I’ve learned that the key to surviving the darkest days is to ask for help. So if you or someone you know struggles with depression or suicidal thoughts, I urge you to reach out to a trustworthy friend, family member, or adult who will listen and offer support. If someone is not readily available, then explore outside resources, such as the ones listed on the next page. Each is accessible 24–7 and is staffed by caring individuals.
Life is hard, but it’s also crazy-beautiful. Fight for your best life. You deserve it.
With love,
Carmen
ONLINE
This safe website allows you to post your questions, problems, or thoughts anonymously and receive an answer within a twenty-four-hour period. You can also read other teens’ stories and respond to them with your own thoughts and counseling—again, this is anonymous. This is a great site to find help, hope, and answers from counselors and even other teens while maintaining your anonymity. Log on and work it out!
OFFLINE
Try any of these help lines, which offer live, around-the-clock support.
National Youth Crisis Hotline:
1-800-448-4663
Childhelp:
1-800-422-4453
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
1-800-273-TALK
CARMEN RODRIGUES
earned her MFA in creative writing from the University of North Carolina Wilmington. She currently lives on the coast of North Carolina.
34 Pieces of You
is her second young adult novel. Friend her on Facebook at
www.facebook.com/thisismyhandstand
and visit her at
CARMENRODRIGUES.COM
.
JACKET DESIGNED BY JESSICA HANDELMAN
JACKET PHOTOGRAPH COPYRIGHT © 2012 BY MICHAEL FROST
AUTHOR PHOTOGRAPH BY SUZETTE D
E
MATTEO
Simon Pulse
SIMON & SCHUSTER, NEW YORK
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This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
SIMON PULSE
An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division
1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020
www.SimonandSchuster.com
First Simon Pulse hardcover edition September 2012
Copyright © 2012 by Carmen Rodrigues
All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. SIMON PULSE and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at
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.
Designed by Mike Rosamilia
The text of this book was set in Adobe Garamond Pro.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Rodrigues, Carmen.
34 pieces of you / by Carmen Rodrigues.
p. cm.
Summary: When Ellie dies of a drug overdose, her brother, her best friend, and her best friend’s sister face painful secrets of their own when they try to uncover the truth about Ellie’s death.
ISBN 978-1-4424-3906-1 (alk. paper)
[1. Death—Fiction. 2. Secrets—Fiction.] I. Title.
II. Title: Thirty-four pieces of you.
PZ7.R61875Aam 2012
[Fic]—dc23
2011045279
ISBN 978-1-4424-3908-5 (eBook)