4-Bound By Danger (15 page)

“Bullshit, and you know it. Fucking painkillers.”

Clint snorted. “Stay right here.”

He reached into the bathroom, taking his hands off Jace for only a moment before returning with a towel. He dried the boy off before lowering him into the bed, taking care with the cuts and bruises he saw. Jace’s feet were particularly bad, and Clint would wait until Jace stopped saying he could take care of everything, and then Clint
would
take care of everything.

Jace muttered something about doing it himself, and while Clint ignored him in favor of getting him comfortable, Jace finally lost his battle against the painkillers.

As he watched over the boy, the text message he’d sent ran over and over in Clint’s mind—
Not feeling up to sex—don’t bother making the trip
. And he didn’t know how to take that. Jace had been in his life for over a year now and didn’t think Clint wanted anything more from him than sex, and how had that happened?

Granted, the sex was good. Hot as hell, but he liked spending time with Jace, too. That’s why he always booked multiple nights at the hotels he’d meet the boy at in between missions instead of just popping in for a single night here and there.

You’ve never told him, though.

And as soon as he’d realized that, he’d shoved his clothes into a bag and prepared to close the distance between them more quickly than he’d planned on. Literally and figuratively.

He thought back on their previous conversations, knew the Dom thing had thrown Jace, and maybe that had something to do with all of this. As he contemplated, he woke the boy up every half an hour for the next three hours—each time, Jace either cursed or gave him the finger—and that seemed to really be the only sleep the kid needed.

His eyes looked clearer, and his stomach growled. He propped himself up, still in obvious pain.

“Want to eat in bed?”

“Sure. You didn’t—”

“Have to do this? I know.” He pushed a tray to Jace’s lap. “There are a lot of things I do because I want to.”

Jace stared up at him, an understanding in his eyes. He ate seconds and thirds, took more pain pills at Clint’s insistence and then lay back down.

This time, Clint joined him in the bed. Massaged every part of his aching body, ending with a back rub. He kneaded Jace’s muscles until Jace melted into the bed. The kid groaned his contentment, then practically purred into the pillow.

“Glad you’re feeling better.”

“Guess you’re waiting for an apology.”

“Don’t need one.”

Jace peered over his shoulder. “What do you need? Because I’m not exactly up to much.”

“Jesus, what did I do to make you think the only thing I want from you is sex? If you think I’d expect you to perform right now in the condition you’re in… Fuck, I just wanted to hold you.”

And maybe he could sound like more of a girl. A lovesick one at that. But still, he pulled Jace to him gently, stroked the man’s hair.

“I didn’t know—didn’t think that you…” Jace stopped to collect himself. “It’s not that I don’t want you to want me for more than sex, but—”

“But I guess I’m better at hiding my feelings than I thought.”

“I thought—”

“Well, keep thinking more. Because there is more, all right?” Clint said fiercely.

“You’re pissed.”

“At myself, for letting you think all this time I’ve only come to you for a fuck. Don’t get me wrong—that’s hot. It’s more than most guys have. But I thought…you mean more to me than that. Maybe it’s all you want, but I want you to know this is more for me. So when you texted and told me not to come because you were not up to it…I didn’t know what to think.”

“And you came anyway.”

Chapter Eighteen

Jace stared at him, a look of obvious surprise on his face at Clint’s admission. “I guess I didn’t think you’d want to deal with this.”

“With what? Real life?” Clint pulled him closer. “I think you’re the one who doesn’t want that put on him. But hey, I didn’t mean to freak you out.”

“Oh, fuck you.” Jace started to tug away, and Clint pulled him back hard. But Jace fought him with a surprising strength. “It’s not like I know shit about you.”

“What are you talking about? Christ, we talked about this last time—I’m with you, Jace. Just you.”

“On your terms. It’s always you—always up to you,” Jace pointed out. “Your schedule, you coming to me. Do you realize I don’t even know where you fucking live now?”

Clint blinked. “I haven’t told anyone that in a long time.”

“Because of the CIA?”

“Because I never had the reason to.”

“Guess you still don’t.” Jace shoved him away hard, hands to his chest, but Clint didn’t fall back, only because of his training. But most would have—Jace was strong as anything, and right now spitting mad, despite his injuries.

Can you blame him?

He wanted to answer yes but in good conscience couldn’t. “Look, that’s your assumption—it’s not how I feel. It was—”

“What, an oversight? For a year?” Jace gave a short laugh as he stood, but there was absolutely no mirth behind it.

Clint joined him to put an end to it then and there, grabbed Jace and put him back on the bed, and despite the struggle, managed to do it with a minimum of Jace hurting himself.

But he still was breathing hard, holding his ribs.

“Asshole,” he puffed at Clint.

“Okay, yeah, I deserved that, but I’m fucking here, right?” Clint demanded. “I’m here, for you. Again. You push me away and I still come. I’ve never done that before, with anyone. Not in thirty-six years.”

“Your headstone said thirty-seven.”

“They were wrong!” he roared.

“Didn’t realize you were touchy about your age.”

“Are you deliberately trying to antagonize me?”

Jace shrugged a little, then winced. “Misery loves company.”

Clint softened, took Jace’s face in his hand. “I’ll take your company any way I can get it.”

Jace closed his eyes tightly and turned his head away. Clint lay next to him and just held him for a while before adding, “I didn’t mean to forget that this is all new to you too.”

Jace stiffened a little, his face buried to Clint’s shoulder. “Drives me fucking nuts.”

“I think relationships are supposed to do that.”

“Christ,” Jace muttered, “just fuck me before I grow girl parts, okay?”

“Happy to oblige. But you lie there and let me do all the work.”

“Girl parts,” Jace reminded him. “I’m participating or it’s not happening.”

“Stubborn jackass.” Clint told him, but he didn’t prevent Jace from trying to do what he could, pain and all.

Clint would just need to make sure that the pleasure overrode the pain.

“You going to make it all better with sex?” Jace asked.

“Yes,” Clint answered simply, and Jace laughed, a real one, and he didn’t protest when Clint pushed him back and kissed him, their tongues dueling.

At first Jace didn’t fight his position. No, in fact he spread his legs and cocked one around Clint’s thigh, seemed content that their bodies were close, their erections rubbing against each other.

But after that, there was no fantasy here—no gentling. It was rough and tumble, and Jace fought him every step of the way. Clint knew Jace was looking for an apology—that he was angry and hurt even after the sex, and maybe he didn’t even know exactly why.

But Clint knew there was something he could do to help. While Jace lay there, Clint went and found his phone.

“What are you doing?”

“Putting my address in your phone.”

“Clint, look, I didn’t mean to make a big deal out of it,” Jace started.

“We’ve been sleeping together for over a year and you don’t know where I live. I think maybe you’re right to make a big deal out of it,” Clint told him.

Clint’s gesture meant more to Jace than Clint could possibly know. It also gave Jace the impetus to let Clint in on what was really bothering him. “You’re always there for me. I have to look at your actions. And I was, but then…you said the sex is what kept you coming back.”

“What?”

“When we were talking about the Dom stuff.”

Clint came back to the bed, ran a hand down the side of Jace’s neck, then cupped the back of it. “Sex isn’t what keeps me coming back. It never has with anyone else. But the sex we have…it’s more than sex. It’s a connection. You have to know that.”

“I guess I did, on some level.”

“I don’t want you to ever think that I want anything from you but you.”

Jace believed him and still… “I don’t know if it’s enough anymore, the way things are.”

He held his breath as Clint studied him, tried to keep his expression neutral, like Clint’s answer wouldn’t matter much, but judging by the look in Clint’s eyes, Jace had failed miserably at that. “You know what, forget it—I don’t want to force—“

“You wouldn’t be forcing anything, Jace,” Clint said quietly. “If you really want…more, for us…well, I think we’re already there. You’re just the first one with the balls to admit it.”

“So what, we just keep going the way we’re going, seeing each other every few months?”

“For you, I’d be willing to change that.”

“Holy fuck.”

Clint laughed as the words slipped out of Jace’s mouth.

“Am I in that alone?” he asked, and Jace could only shake his head no and Clint smiled.

Since he’d told Clint to stay away tonight and the man had come anyway, his presence alone would’ve been enough to comfort Jace, but the conversation was better than anything he could’ve hoped for. He didn’t want to push his luck, so he rubbed his body against Clint’s. “Fuck, how do you always manage to make me hard?”

“A talent,” Clint said, reaching out to stroke him. “You’re going to come, then sleep, then not worry about anything.”

And just like that, they’d gone to a new level, and Jace was vulnerable and new to all of this, trusting himself and trusting Clint. But he let himself stop thinking, felt boneless when Clint touched him. The painkillers were working now, but he was past the point of caring how drugged-up he was. The fight was over, but watching Clint hovering over him, his stomach flipped like he was a damned virgin again.

Clint stroked his face. “It’s okay, baby. I know.”

He wanted to ask how the man knew, but what would it matter? He believed him, trusted him. But still, he trembled as Clint moved between his legs—part nervousness, part shyness—and spread them wide, holding them apart with his own thighs. There was nothing Jace could do but enjoy Clint’s machinations.

“Put your hands by your sides and keep them there.”

Jace hesitated for just a second, and Clint continued casually, “Unless you’d rather I use my handcuffs.”

Jace’s cock jumped even as he put his hands to fist the sheets by his thighs. Clint gave a short laugh, but he wasn’t laughing at him at all.

“Good boy. Just relax,” Clint told him. “It’ll happen naturally, if you let it. And this way you won’t hurt yourself. I want you still. I’ll do all the work.”

Once Clint explained his reasoning, Jace felt a little better. He leaned his head back as Clint began to suckle his balls, taking one, then the other into his mouth, and the sensation was mind-blowing, especially when Clint tugged on Jace’s dick in tandem with it. His cock leaked, his breath was quicker now and he kept his hands behind his head, fingers locked, the way Clint wanted it.

He wasn’t sure why that was so damned hot, but it was.

And then Clint was finger-fucking his ass and sucking his dick, and Jace couldn’t do much but buck up every once in a while, and Clint even found a way to foil that small movement without ever stopping what he was doing. And Jesus, it felt good, and Jace realized he was moaning and trying to say something—anything—all of it pretty much incomprehensible.

But when he came, in a spurting rush in Clint’s mouth, he heard the words
I love you
echoing inside his head and prayed to fucking God he didn’t say them out loud. Because Clint would think he was some stupid sap who mistook lust for love.

Except…he never had before.

During an orgasm wasn’t the time to say it—even he knew that. He’d been forced to sit through enough chick flicks to know.

“You all right?” Clint murmured as he wiped Jace’s brow. There was sweat covering his entire body, like he’d just come back from a long-distance run, and his heart was beating like crazy.

“Great,” he managed. “Really fucking great.”

Sawyer knew Rex was in the next room. If he put the phone on mute, he’d probably hear the man through the door that connected the rooms, and somehow, that made it hotter.

He’d been waiting for the call, staring at the phone most of the night and wondering what Rex would make him talk about tonight.

He’s not making you do anything.

In fact, Sawyer was enjoying Rex’s seduction, had no doubt that was exactly what it was. It had been unexpected and hot as anything the first time, and he knew there would be more to come. And the calls happened pretty regularly, each time leaving Sawyer to wonder what would happen if he drove to Rex’s house and just went inside. But he never did.