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Authors: Victoria Lynn Schmidt

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BOOK: 45 Master Characters
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Motherhood and nurturing give her a reason to live. She'll do anything to save this precious relationship. Demeter was very strong as she was able to denounce all the other gods and hold fast to her goal of getting her daughter back. The Nurturer admires that part of the story.

How Do Other Characters See the Nurturer?

Some see her as dependent, needy and passive aggressive.

She tends to take on many tasks at once, trying to please so many people, overwhelming herself.

She's not concerned with being sexy and doesn't care much for the latest fashions. She can be a very beautiful woman but seems not to realize it.

Developing the Character Arc

Look at your character's main goal in the story and then at the fears you've selected to use against her. What does she need to learn to overcome her fear? Does she need to learn to let go of her children and find a career? Does she need to stand up for herself and speak her mind without worrying about hurting others? Does she need to let her children grow up and leave home?

Very often the Nurturer needs to let go of her attachment to others and find her own identity. She needs to learn that she can take care of herself and that being alone sometimes can be refreshing. A hobby such as yoga and writing can help her find self-love.

What happened to her at an early age to make this archetype dominate her personality? Was her mother not there for her and now she wants to make up for that by being there for others? Did she have to help raise her siblings as a child? Was she given dolls and told being a mother is the greatest thing in the world? Was there a special woman in her life, like a teacher, who helped her and now she wants to give back?

To grow, this archetype is best paired with one of the following:

The Woman's Man —
can nurture her back and show her what it feels like to be in an equal relationship with another.

The Recluse —
can teach her the value of being alone and knowing herself.

The Gorgon —
can teach her the harsh realities of life and how to stop people from walking all over her.

The Mystic —
can teach her self-love.

THE NURTURER

Assets:

  • Spends a lot of time with her children or students or patients, whoever is in her care.

  • Puts others ahead of herself.

  • Is driven to help people.

  • Is wonderful to be around.

  • Is extremely helpful.

  • Is a great listener.

  • Is committed to her family.

  • Is generous.

  • Enjoys staying home most of the time.

Flaws:

  • Finds her sole identity is wrapped up in helping or saving others.

  • Worries constantly about her children.

  • Is self-sacrificing and takes on too many projects at one time because she can't say no.

  • Takes things her family says personally.

  • Needs someone to care for.

The Villainous Side of the Nurturer: The Overcontrolling Mother

As a villain the Nurturer would probably kidnap someone else's baby just to have someone to take care of. She would steal someone else's creative project to be looked upon as helpful to society.

She would manipulate another person into letting her help them by taking over their life, like Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates) does in
Misery
.

She's the mother who poisons her child so she can bring her to the hospital and receives attention for all the hard work she's doing to care for her child. She's the mother who projects her own disappointments onto her daughter so she won't leave home and be independent. She's the master of inflicting guilt upon others.

She does everything with the thought that people need her. She thinks others can't live without her, but in reality she can't live without them. She believes she's helping people but what she's actually doing is occupying herself with other people's lives in an effort to avoid her own.

She's a very dependent person who can't function without someone else around to keep her company and provide direction.

She feels devastated or helpless when relationships end and is preoccupied with fears of being abandoned. Her lack of self-confidence makes it impossible for her to do things on her own. She cares for others in an effort to make sure others will be there to care for her. She feels helpless when left alone.

She feels she has given up her entire life to raise her children. She sacrificed everything for them. She wants respect and obedience.

THE OVERCONTROLLING MOTHER
  • Feels like others are trying to toss her aside and abandon her.

  • Thinks others can't survive without her when she's the one who can't survive without them.

  • Will hurt others for their own good.

  • Butts in when not wanted.

  • Uses guilt to control others.

  • Exaggerates when hurt or in need.

  • Does things not asked of her to seem helpful.

  • Seems genuinely nice once in a while to throw others off balance.

  • Lacks self-confidence.

  • Can't do anything alone.

Demeter in Action

Nurturer/Overcontrolling Mother TV Heroes

Carol Ann Brady (Florence Henderson) in
The Brady Bunch

Daphne Moon (Jane Leeves) in
Frasier

Marie Barone (Doris Roberts) in
Everybody Loves Raymond

Piper Halliwell (Holly Marie Combs) in
Charmed

June Cleaver (Barbara Billingsley) in
Leave It to Beaver

Nurturer/Overcontrolling Mother Film Heroes

Carol Connelly (Helen Hunt) in
As Good As It Gets

Stella Dallas (Barbara Stanwyck) in
Stella Dallas

M'Lynn Eatenton (Sally Field) in
Steel Magnolias

Dorothy Boyd (Rene´e Zellweger) in
Jerry Maguire

There are a number of classic films where the female character is relegated to the house, caring for the men. These characters are prevalent in Westerns. You can see them waiting in doorways, watching over the men and taking care of their wounds.

Nurturer/Overcontrolling Mother Literary and Historical Heroes
BOOK: 45 Master Characters
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